Superman and The Shadow Matchmaker Chronicles Volume 0.5 16/26
Rated PG-13
/ “text”/ indicates telepathic communication
*text* indicates bold
<text> indicates thoughts
{text} indicates over the telephone
Universal Locator designation Alpha 023 x Gamma 004 x Tau -120 – Prime
Universal Locator designation Alpha 025 x Gamma - 086 x Tau 142 Alt 25 Shadow
Preeviously
Jesse had his eyes on faux Lois as she crept silently from the doorway. She lifted her hand and placed a finger across her lips in s “Shh!” gesture.
Just then, the President said, “Nine delta... I'll take Bleu Cheese on that salad, Miss...”
Looking directly at faux Lois and smiling, Jesse patted Anonymous’s leg again and said, “Un-cle Don-aaald...”
Fear in her eyes, faux Lois shook her head ‘no’.
Jesse giggled at the game he was playing.
Faux Lois continued to inch closer.
She was almost within arm’s reach when the computer beeped. Anonymous straightened abruptly and he chortled, “Jackpot! System armed, missiles ready to go.”
Straightening as he did, brought him within arm’s reach and faux Lois jabbed the lipstick tube into his back. As she did, she commanded, “Back away from the computer.”
Professional that he was, he didn’t make any sudden moves. He slowly raised his hands and backed away as commanded. Once he was a few feet away, he asked, “Now what?”
Unsure as to just where to go from there, she tried to put herself in Lamont’s place and imagine what he’d do. She commanded, “Uh, get down on your stomach. And don't move, or so help me, I'll ... get very mad. What's going on here?”
One of the side effects of the drug that had been used was to place the subject into a state like drunkenness. As a result, the President, slurred out, “Fostonia goes boom!”
Jesse giggled and mimicked, “Boom!”
Anonymous, from his position on the floor, asked, “That's right, Jesse. Wouldn't you like to see some fireworks?”
Jesse nodded eagerly.
Trying to forestall what Anonymous was trying to do, faux Lois said, “Jesse, come here, honey.”
Anonymous, encouraged him, “Just hit the red button. For the big 'boom!'”
Jesse approached the computer.
And now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 16 –
1995
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Universal Locator designation
Alpha 023 x Gamma 004 x Tau -120 – Prime
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Faux Lois found herself between a rock and a hard place. She couldn’t afford to leave her position with her lipstick in Anonymous’s back, yet she HAD to prevent Jesse from pressing that button.
As calmly as she could, she tried to be ingratiating, “No, Jesse. That's not fireworks. That's a bad thing. Auntie Lois will buy you candy if you don't push it.”
Anonymous, from his position on the floor, was trying to get Jesse to do his bidding, “A big boom is better than candy, kid. Push it.”
Pulling out all the stops, faux Lois said, “Auntie will buy you a bigger sofa to lift, a sectional. You don't want to push the nasty ol' button do you?”
Looking at Anonymous, Jesse said, “Okay.”
As he reached out, faux Lois realized that it would do no good keeping Anonymous subdued if Jesse pushed that button, so she lunged for him, but before she reached him, he had pushed it.
Anonymous commented on faux Lois’s technique, “Gee, you're a regular Mr. Rogers.”
As he said that the message on the computer screen changed and read, “MISSILE LAUNCHED.” Across the bottom of the screen a countdown clock came into existence. It read 12 minutes 00 seconds and started to count down. A graphic on the screen showed a blinking dot that was leaving an electronic diagram of Tanzor.
Now that faux Lois was no longer pressing her ‘gun’ into his back, Anonymous had regained his feet and pulled his silenced automatic from his waistband and pointed it at faux Lois and Jesse.
The shock of what was happening had to some degree snapped the President from his drug induced stupor and he said, “It's no use. It can't be stopped.”
Anonymous plucked the lipstick tube from faux Lois’s hand as he said, “Lipstick. Very creative. What were you going to do, give me a makeover?”
With a downcast expression, she replied, “I know. Clichéd, but effective.”
As Anonymous backed away, he took Jesse by the hand. Looking up at him, Jesse asked, “Where's the boom? I want the boom!”
He growled at Jesse, “Shut up,” and started to drag him away.
Faux Lois was standing next to the President, helplessly and shouted, “Jesse! Auntie Lois needs help!”
Looking up at Anonymous, Jesse accused, “You’re bad!”
“Yeah, so?”
In response, Jesse punched him. Anonymous was surprised when it didn’t hurt and said, “Well. Suddenly super-kid isn't so super after all. Pity. Now I can’t use him anymore.” He shoved Jesse toward faux Lois, quickly passed through the door and slammed it. On the wall, next to the door, there was a box with a handle inside, behind a glass cover. Over the box was a sign,
“EMERGENCY FIRE SUPPRESSION SYSTEM,
Break glass to open.”With a smile on his lips, Anonymous broke the glass and pulled down on the handle inside. As he did, a thick purple vapor was released from vents near the floor. After pulling the handle, Anonymous moved back to the door and watched as the vapor poured into the room and mounted slowly higher and higher.
Faux Lois, as soon as Anonymous had left, had delved into her bag and pulled out her Swiss Army knife. After opening the blade she used it to cut away the President’s restraints. It was as she was completing this that the vapor was released.
Anonymous, desiring to taunt his victims, shouted, “Balorium phosphide. It devours oxygen as it rises. They designed it to suffocate laboratory fires, or in this case, you.”
Ever since Leigh-Anne had discovered Jesse’s powers, had been telling him about Superman and all of the good things he did, so the first thing that came to his mind, was to shout, “
SUPERMAN!Anonymous laughed and taunted some more, “Don't hold your breath. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a fee to collect.” As soon as he finished speaking he rushed down the corridor and out of the building.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Unknown to Anonymous, faux Lois or Jesse, Superman was passing near the plant when Jesse cried out. It was so sudden and so indistinct, that he had to guess what direction it had come from. He had not returned to the Planet as yet, so he didn’t know about Metro-Chem so he headed for a nearby rail yard.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The gas continued to accumulate and the level continued to rise. Faux Lois had picked Jesse up and held him in her arms to keep him above the gas for as long as she could. She had already released the President, but she had to continually encourage him to stand because he was still groggy from the drug and the gas he had already inhaled.
In his groggy state, he was still acting somewhat drunk and between intermittent bouts of coughing, started singing, “When-a the moon hits-a your eye like a bigga pizza pie, that's amore...”
Faux Lois was doing her best to reassure the child. She hugged him and said, “It's okay, Jesse. Everything's gonna be fine.”
As luck would have it, the President chose that minute to have one of his more lucid moments and said, “No, it's not. Believe me, kid. We're doomed.”
Faux Lois looked at the President, prepared to give him a reprimand, when what she saw took away that concern and replaced it with another. She saw the computer screen and the graphic of the countdown caught her eye. It read,
“Time to impact 2 minutes 46 seconds.”* * * * * * * * * * * *
Superman didn’t hear any more yells so he stopped where he was and hovered, listening, but hearing nothing. Looking around, he spotted several elderly ladies waiting at a bus stop. Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to ask for help, he landed near them and asked, “Have any of you seen a young boy, or a European gentleman? They'd have been with another man.”
Anonymous used his talent for imitating voices to reply in an old lady tone, “I think they just got on the last bus. It was heading downtown...”
Superman replied, “Thanks,” and just as he was about to fly off, his super sense of smell picked up a characteristic odor. Instead of flying off, he turned on his heat vision and used it on the ‘old lady’ that had just spoken.
As he did, the other ladies were horrified to witness the face of their companion seem to melt and flow. They started to scream and try to get away, but they stopped when they realized that it was only make-up that was sloughing off revealing a man’s face underneath. The face of … Anonymous.
Stepping forward, Superman put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Anonymous, I presume.”
Smirking, Anonymous said, “Superman. Finally we meet face-to-face. So to speak.”
Getting right to the point, Superman demanded, “Where are they?”
Before Anonymous had a chance to bargain, Superman heard faux Lois yelling,
“Superman!”Moving so quickly that Anonymous didn’t have any chance to escape, Superman ripped up the ‘bus stop’ sign and wrapped the pole around Anonymous. As he did, he said, “I’ll deal with you later.”
As he took off on his rescue, Anonymous smirked and muttered, “By all means. Rescue them. You can't save them and Fostonia, too. I’ll still get my commission.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Faux Lois was holding Jesse as high as she could, but the purple vapor was up to her chin and it wouldn’t be long until she was submerged in it and not long after that, the President and as she collapsed, Jesse would suffer the same fate.
Faux Lois was taking what could have been her last breath when suddenly the door was wrenched off of its hinges. Instantly assessing the situation, Superman used his super lungs to inhale the deadly vapor. As he did, faux Lois with Jesse in her arms and the President all collapsed to the floor. If the vapor had still been present, it would have been their death knell.
Superman supersped out of the building and blew the vapor into the air where it would do no further harm and then returned to the room. As he bent over faux Lois, preparatory to picking her up, he said, “Let’s get you out of here.”
Faux Lois forestalled him by pointing at the computer display and saying, “There's no time. A nuclear warhead is headed for Fostonia. Look!”
When he looked, the display read,
“Time to impact 16 seconds.”Faux Lois in despair, said, “Even you can't get around the world in time!”
What she said gave him an idea. He agreed, “'Around' the world? You're right. Stand back!”
As they jumped back, Superman hopped into the air, did a somersault and straightening out like a diver, dove for the floor. He crashed through in a cloud of concrete and rock dust.
Faux Lois, Jesse and the President were all choking on the dust after he left, so they headed outside.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Realizing that he didn’t have enough time to go ‘around’ the world in an arc, Superman had decided that the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, so using his super vision to guide him and spinning like a drill, Superman drilled his way through the ground, into the mantle and out again, breaking through the surface on a city street in Fastinia’a capitol.
When he emerged, it was near a sidewalk dining area where the patrons were being entertained by an accordion player. They had all been looking up when they had heard the roar of the rocket engine.
Superman’s sudden appearance was too much and the diners started to scatter, toppling chairs and tables in their wake as they did.
Superman was moving like a rocket himself as he emerged and flew into the air, intercepting the rocket some hundreds of yards in the air above the city. Using his super strength, he turned the missile and used its own rocket propulsion to propel it higher and higher. Giving it a final shove, he sent it out of the atmosphere.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
As soon as he let the missile go, he headed back to Metropolis, the normal way. He was thankful that he had thought to use the debris he generated to plug the hole that he created, preventing the possibility of a new volcano in both Metropolis and Fostonia.
He found Anonymous just where he had left him and as he unwound the sign pole from his body, he saw Faux Lois in her Jeep with Jesse and the President leave the parking area of the Merto-Chem plant. Once he had him free, he picked him up and flew him to the MPD.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The first place that faux Lois could think to go was the Daily Planet. While she was parking in the underground garage, she said, “Mr. President, now that Superman has captured Anonymous, you should be safe. Jesse, your mother was here when I left so you should be seeing her in a couple of minutes.”
When the trio stepped out of the elevator there was a joyous reunion between mother and son while faux Lois and the President as well as the rest of the newsroom staff looked on.
After the first few seconds, Leigh-Anne looked at faux Lois and said, “Thank you. If you want, I’ll give you the true story now.”
Faux Lois said, “That would be appreciated.” Turning to the President, she said, “Mr. President, if you don’t mind, I’d like to interview you.”
He smiled and replied, “It would appear that I owe my life and the safety of the peace process to you and Superman. How could I refuse?”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning faux Lois and Clark were in the newsroom. Faux Lois was admiring the latest edition of the paper. There were multiple headlines and she was inordinately pleased with herself. She had learned enough by studying Lois’s writing to do justice to the stories that she had been involved in. It had still needed some touching up by Clark, but wasn’t too bad.
”Superman Nabs Anonymous!”
By Lois Lane
The mysterious terrorist for hire known as Anonymous was apprehended as he attempted to initiate a nuclear war between Fostonia and Tanzor. Story on A2.Sharing the front page, above the fold was:
Nuclear Disaster Averted.
By Lois Lane and Clark Kent
In a brilliant display of his super powers, Superman drilled his way through the earth so that he could reach Fostonia in tome to prevent a nuclear disaster. Story on A3”Clark was looking through the paper, not for those articles, but the story that Leigh-Anne had given Lois after she had returned Jesse to her.
Faux Lois said, in a tone of irony, “We outta send a copy to Anonymous. Give him some meaty jail time reading. Clark, we nailed the biggest story of the year. Gloat.” In a quiet aside, she said, “My first by line.”
Clark was sincere in his praise as he said, "It’s great. Really great,” but he kept leafing through the paper.
“But… ?”
“I can't seem to find the big story that completely exonerates Superman. You know, that interview that Leigh-Anne gave you.”
Nodding, faux Lois said, “Oh, it's there. On page D three.” She watched as he searched and encouraged him, “No, keep looking. There ... between the obituaries and the auction notices.”
Disheartened, Clark said, “That’s just great. I guess it’s true what they say in journalism school, ‘Exoneration doesn’t sell papers.'”
While Clark was reading the article, Leigh-Anne and Jesse exited the elevator and approached. Leigh-Anne said, “Jesse and I just came by to say thanks. And ask you to say thanks to Superman, too. And ... you know ... that I'm sorry.”
Jimmy had spotted Leigh-Anne and Jesse as they had exited the elevator and had grabbed a camera. As he approached, he said, “C'mon, you two, one more smile for the camera.”
Leigh-Anne held up her hand in a stop gesture and said, “Oh no. We are one hundred percent through with fame and fortune. Jesse's going back to kindergarten, and I'm enrolling in beauty college. He's back to normal, and that's all I want for us. Until I win the lottery.” As she finished speaking she turned to faux Lois and hugged her. Then as Clark lowered the paper, she hugged him. “Thank you both again.”
Jesse waved and said, “Bye bye.”
Clark patted him on the head and said, “'Bye, Pal. Don't be surprised if Superman drops by for a visit.”
Jesse smiled up at him and the Leigh-Anne turned to go, taking him with her.
Faux Lois turned to Clark and asked, “So what about us? Are we going back to being normal?”
“Whatever normal is for us. This adventure proved that you could successfully pass yourself off as Lois. You even got a solo by line out of it. You did great.”
“Well, let's see... Before we were interrupted, I was just starting to really enjoy being engaged...”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“So what's 'normal' for a woman happily engaged to a really cute guy? Oh, I know.” She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. To his surprise, he found that he was kissing her back.
As they broke from the kiss, Clark looked around and somewhat embarrassed, said, “Everyone’s watching.”
Faux Lois was enjoying herself and replied, “Yeah? Who cares?” As she closed the distance, she whispered, “Stay in character,” and kissed him again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Later, back at Lois’s apartment, Clark challenged, “You were taking advantage of the situation back there in the newsroom.”
“You are the one that said that you and Lois are affectionate. Because of this situation with Leigh-Anne and Jesse, our relationship was strained and I’m sure it was obvious to everyone in the newsroom. I felt that we needed to reestablish our bona fides. Besides … I was enjoying it.”
“The problem is that … I was enjoying it too. Perhaps a little too much. Sometimes, I find it hard to separate you from Lois and I am afraid that the longer this goes on, the harder it is going to be.”
“It has been a couple of weeks. How long will it take for this Tempus character to think he made a mistake?”
“Who knows. Another week, a month, a year…”
“In that case, I suggest that we simply let things happen naturally. I’m going to go change for my class.” She smiled to belie her words as she moved down the hall, “No peeking.”
Clark blushed at the thought that she actually wanted him to peek.
A few minutes later, she came out in just the spandex mini shorts and top. She struck a pose and asked, “Do you like what you see?”
Clark flushed and replied, “What’s not to like. You’re beautiful. Every bit as beautiful as Lois.”
She crossed to him and throwing her arms around his neck started a deep soulful kiss. As he wrapped his arms around her, all he could feel was the flesh of her naked back. His hands drifted down until he was cupping the cheeks of her buttocks.
She moaned into his mouth and she deepened the kiss even farther.
Coming to himself, Clark released her and backing away, said, “This is too fast. We need to give Lois time to get back.”
Striking another pose, right there in the very brief workout gear, Margot said, “Aren’t I pretty enough for you?”
He stepped back and said, “Oh, yes. Yes, you are, but so is Lois and Lois is my fiancée. I think it’s time for your class.”
Dejectedly, she said, “Yeah, my class,” as she turned away to get her gi.
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