This story exists thanks to Folc4evernaday (she made me start with this idea) and the other FoLCs over at the Hangout chat. Thanks for the help, the inspiration and everything else that made me finish the story. Big thanks for the beta go to Mouserocksnerd and Folc4evernaday.
The story takes place at the end of WWW so some of the dialogue obviously isn't mine, no copyright infringement is intended.
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*LOIS POV*
“Bye Dan, and I am sorry.” Lois slowly closed the door behind him and took a deep breath. The daisies he’d brought over earlier to congratulate her on her story caught her eyes. Before today, the flowers he’d given her were always ones with a heavier scent, mirroring his way of waltzing into her life. Finally he seemed to have gotten her hints that she preferred bouquets that weren’t so cloying.
But now the scent of the daisies reminded her of betrayal. Dan had listened to her, changed his habits for her, and she’d led him on. The flowers seemed to mock her; cruelly reminding her of what she had done to him.
She had just told Dan that she didn’t want to see him anymore because she did not love him. It was a simple truth she'd known for a long time. There was another simple truth she didn’t want to admit she had known for over two years… and that was why it wasn't fair to anyone if she kept the relationship with Dan up. She would only end up hurting herself and Dan who definitely didn’t deserve being the substitute for the man she truly loved. By the look on his face she suspected he had always known that but she could still see she had hurt him. Even if it was just his wounded pride over the fact that she chose Clark over him, she still had caused pain in an innocent man.
Deep inside, she knew she only loved Clark. Despite everything she loved this boneheaded lunkhead. He was the only person that could drive her up the wall one minute and makes her melt the next - Clark Kent. How had things gotten so out of hand? How had she gotten here?
She felt sorry for the innocent flowers as she put them into the trash but she knew she couldn’t keep them. Not when she needed to make a clean cut from everything concerning Dan so she could be with Clark with all of her heart. Anger and frustration plagued her mind as she thought back over the last few weeks.
Why did he keep running away from her? He had promised to be there for her and she had believed him. He seemed to be honest when he said that. It hurt a lot when he kept running and she hated that he had that kind of power.
Lois put a kettle on the stove and took some tea from her cupboard - this was Clark’s influence on her. Before she had known her partner she would never have thought of drinking a cup of tea at all. Coffee usually was the only hot beverage she would drink, there were days where she wouldn’t have been surprised if her blood was brown instead of red because of the amount of of coffee she drank. It made her awake and alert, exactly what she needed to be an ace investigative reporter, better than the rest. And it made her alert to all the mediocre men around her trying to belittle her or to steal her story and ruin her reputation like Claude. She thought she needed to be “Mad Dog Lane” to be the best reporter she could. Like Clark, tea could be everything she needed: from stimulating black tea to a calming herbal blend, there was always a mixture to suit her needs.
And Clark gradually showed her that it was okay to let her guard down from time to time. He made her see that not every man on earth was intent on taking something from her. Every time she had lowered her defenses around him he had given her something. Sometimes it was one of his smiles that could brighten up even the darkest days, or he had put a hand on her shoulder, backing her up with a simple gesture without breaking the boundaries of her personal space before she was ready to let him in.
As she waited for the water to boil, she prepared the cup for her beverage and her thoughts began to roam.
How could he go from being so incredible and attentive one minute to being aloof and distant the next? She felt tears rolling down her cheeks and wiped the wet trails away angrily. She was growing more and more impatient and furious with Clark's disappearing act by the second. How could he do this to her? How could he make her fall in love with him like that and then just disappear? She thought he was different, that she meant something to him. She thought he was better than Claude and Paul and her father but… probably no man was.
Was it fair to expect something like that from him?
She loved Clark Kent. That much was certain, but was it enough? Could she be with a man who obviously didn't trust her? Could she be with a man that was constantly running away from her for apparently no reason? Who took off in the matter of seconds in spite of his claims to stay with her? He'd told her once that he was in love with her and had been in love with her for a long time. He'd taken the confession back but she suspected no truer words had ever escaped his lips.
'It doesn't matter if he can't trust me!' She thought angrily. As she put water into her cup, drops of hot water splashed around nearly hitting her other hand a few times. Taking her tea with her she walked over to her couch, sat down and curled up, lost in thought.
Lois was confused. She knew she shouldn’t give her heart to a man who apparently couldn’t do the same for her. She felt something held him back.
Clark had left her alone. Regardless of his promises he had left her in tears sitting in the café –without him. It wouldn’t be as bad if he had for once given her more than a feeble excuse
again. Did he really think she was dumb enough to buy any of them?
Her anger rose. It was so typical that she couldn’t trust any promises given by a man.
At moments like this she sometimes wished she could hate him – but she couldn’t, not the slightest bit. But she probably would never even have considered dating Dan if Clark hadn’t kept running from her *every* *single* *time* when things became personal between them. Yet the only man she couldn’t stop thinking of was Clark.
When Dan had showed up earlier at her apartment after the Superman case Lois had her mind already made up.
Dan was a great guy, she really liked him but he was no Clark Kent. The DEA agent was funny and kind, but something held her back. Lois sighed. Sarah had been right. Dan was Rocky Road, a new and fancy taste when she knew, deep inside, that chocolate would always be her favorite flavor, regardless of the fact that chocolate already caused her some bad cases of stomachache.
Since they had met, Dan constantly gave her gifts: expensive pieces of modern art, big bouquets of impressive roses. He was showing off.
Clark gave things from his heart. A single yellow rose from him meant much more than all the red roses Dan could ever give her because Clark cared enough about Lois to wait patiently and give it to her at the right time, when she needed it.
Lois could talk to Dan but it was as if they never spoke the same language, although they used the same words. With Clark it was easy, they just talked about what was in their mind.
Whenever she felt bad about something she knew just talking to Clark helped lift her spirit. She never felt alone when she was with him. They spoke the same language, even without using words.
When he kissed her goodbye during that heatwave, the memory of that kiss was still vivid in her mind. When their lips touched the unbearable heat of the newsroom seemed to fade to give room for another far less unpleasant kind of heat. The short touch of his lips against her own set a fiery determination in her heart. Strangely Clark and his kiss gave her the desperation she needed to rescue Superman and fortunately she discovered it brought Clark back into her life as well.
Although part of her had been disappointed in him for leaving Superman when the hero clearly needed all the help to clear his name as he could get a bigger part of her had been shocked that Clark, her partner and best friend was about to leave her. She was only beginning to understand how much his kisses meant to her even then.
But the problem was, at the moment she didn’t even know if there was anything left to salvage of their relationship. Their friendship had been the only thing that had kept her sane during the aftermath of some of her more painful experiences. After they had begun dating there was a shift in their relationship. Clark began distancing himself. He'd always had strange errands and behavior but it became more apparent when they'd begun a relationship
She was pretty sure he wasn’t afraid of his feelings, otherwise he wouldn’t have poured out his heart to her when they were investigating the Gene Newtrich case. If he was just afraid of his feelings they could work on that, but it was the not knowing why he left that made the whole thing a lot harder.
She had decided this time she would try another strategy. If Clark was somewhere where he couldn’t run they *would* finally have their talk. She would go to his apartment and wait for him, they *would* talk. If he wanted to do this or not, she didn’t care at this point. If he had a plausible excuse for leaving her – which she seriously doubted – she would probably give him another chance.
If not… well she always knew that men were lying, no good scumbags like Claude, Paul, or Lex. She should have gotten used to it by now, but unfortunately she hadn’t.
Lois put her shoes back on and left her apartment. The tea still sat untouched and forgotten next to her couch. She decided to leave her car at home and walk over to Clark's place to get rid of the nervous energy.
On her way also most of her anger dissolved, somehow she could never stay angry at Clark for a long time no matter what he had done. It was a nice afternoon, the day had been bright and warm but the sun already had begun to set. As she made her way through one of the seedier parts of the city she pulled her coat around her. It wasn’t cold but as she passed several motorcycles and a brawling group of men in leather vests she unconsciously sought out the feeble protection of it. Fortunately the men were to lost in whatever they were doing to notice her.
She wasn’t afraid of them but she also wasn’t dumb, even with her newly acquired brown belt she knew it was impossible to keep the upper hand with a larger group of attackers the only way to get out of such a situation was to run as fast as someone could.
When they were out of sight her thoughts returned to Clark, if he knew she wanted to come over he probably would have insisted she take the car at this time of day.
Clark... whether she wanted or not, her thoughts kept returning to him. She reflected how the last two years had changed her. How he had changed her.
Lost in thought she reached her destination and climbed up his stairs. When she discovered everything was dark inside she barely hesitated before she let herself in - determined she wouldn’t leave until they had finally talked everything out.
As soon as she was through the door she immediately discovered something was off. The living room was full of boxes, some held books others held photos. There were even some with clothes - Lois could even spot his favourite sweatshirt in it - and some of the things he brought home from his travels. Everything was packed away neatly as she would have expected from Clark, he always was very accurate.
Perhaps he is planning a yard sale, she thought tiredly.
Due to the heat of the summer day that just had ended the apartment still was very warm inside and Clark had left the door to his balcony open. It was probably a habit to let Superman in when he visited, just like Lois left her window open. Lois walked outside and sat down on the ledge.
Then it hit her. These boxes weren’t filled with old stuff Clark didn’t need anymore, they were filled with his normal everyday stuff. Was he again planning on leaving Metropolis? Was he planning on leaving her? Was he running away for real this time?
She went hot and cold at the same time. Unwanted tears filled her eyes. Tears of rage, tears of fear… and tears of sadness. How could he leave Metropolis? Would he prove to be just like every other man in her life?
Making her feel something for him and then leave her to deal with these unwanted feelings for him. Every man she had loved or thought she had loved had at some point decided to leave her alone.
Her dad because the commitment of his own family proved too much for him.
Paul left her because Linda was willing to give him what Lois wasn’t ready to give.
Claude left her because he thought he had gotten everything he could gain of their relationship.
And finally Lex, who left her because he didn’t want to face the consequences of his own actions.
Would Clark even tell her that he was leaving or would he just run away?
She didn’t know how long she had sat there but finally she fought those tears away and ran her palm across her face thinking about her next move. Her first thought was to leave and let him run so she would finally be free of him. A futile thought. She knew she’d never be free of him. He’d wormed his way into the deep crevices of her heart that no one had dared venture before. No, she knew that wouldn’t work. Should she stay here and wait as her initial plan had been? Could she just let him leave as he clearly didn’t have the same concern for their relationship as she had?
The decision was taken from her when she heard the door clicking. But before she could walk in from her hiding place on the balcony to put her plan in action she discovered that unfortunately for her he wasn’t alone, Martha and Jonathan were with him.
She hadn’t known his parents were in town. How could they have this talk with his parents nearby? Lois felt stupid, how would she explain waiting on his balcony at this time of night? His apartment didn’t even have a separate room where they could go to talk in private.
Lois was still deep in thought when they resumed a conversation they had probably started before.
TBC
FDK goes here
