Chapter 30:
Lois slammed the door of her apartment with as much ferocity as she had the door of the hotel, and the door of her cab, and the door of her building even though it meant she’d slammed the door in her neighbor’s face. She told herself she didn’t care, but her body was betraying her. She was shaking. Why was she shaking? How could she let this get to her so badly? She had a bad taste in her mouth, and it wasn't just the taste of Clark Kent's tongue, although good grief his tongue. It was betrayal, filling up her soul and rising like bile in her mouth. She couldn't stop shaking.
Not from guilt, or frustration. Anger. She was shaking with anger. Or so she told herself.
She needed a smoke. She dropped her purse on the counter and fished for her cigarettes and lighter. The cigarette was in her hand faster than ever before, but she couldn't hold her hands steady enough to get the lighter to go. She huffed in frustration, eyes welling up but refusing to let a tear fall as she frantically flicked at the little lever. Finally it lit up long enough for her to actually ignite the drug, but she choked on her first puff and smashed it almost immediately.
It tasted like him.
The last thing she wanted was to see his smiling face in her head, holding out his lighter for her gentilly.
"Lois? Geez louise, you scared me half to death! I thought you were staying—" her sister's voice stopped mid-sentence as Lois turned to look at her while extinguishing her cigarette. "Lois? Are you okay? What's going on?"
Lois opened her mouth to reply that she was just fine, never better, but nothing but a hoarse croak came out, and it all came washing over her again. Holy crap, she'd kissed Clark Kent. Of her own volition. Sure, he'd started it, but he'd clearly intended it as a cover for the maid. She was the one who kissed him back, dragged him down to her, scrabbled for every piece of his flesh she could get to. She almost went further.
She'd cheated on Lex.
The floodgates opened, and Lois fell to her knees on a wail as the tears started streaming down her face. Lucy rushed to her side, trying to console her, get something out of her, but she wasn't in any mood for it. Right now, she just needed a good long cry, maybe a tub of chocolate ice cream, and never to see Clark Kent's stupid face again.
*****LnC*****
"Kent's a common name, sir."
Lex shot his butler-slash-right-hand-man a deadpan stare. "Clark Kent."
"Still, not uncommon, I'm sure."
"From Kansas."
Nigel shrugged, knowing it was hard to defend that one. Lex shook his head. This tale was getting more and more twisted the more they chased it. Lois would be proud of his investigative instincts, though. If she wasn't still beyond livid with him. Not now, Lex. One problem at a time.
"Okay. So Clark Kent is from Kansas, but the Clark Kent from Kansas is dead. The farm he lived on was completely demolished due to a freak lightning strike that set the property ablaze, so nothing there. The county courthouse suffered from a robbery, then three years later, another fire. So no case files, and nothing was digitized from back then. But Clark Kent was dead before all that."
"Sir, what if it's a case of identity theft? Perhaps the real Clark Kent is dead after all, and the one we know just took the name. People do it quite frequently."
Lex shook his head again. "It's a theory," he conceded, if only to get Nigel to shut up for a second. He adjusted his back in his seat, the crack of pleather underneath him underscoring his discomfort. He knew the theory wasn't true, though. His gut was telling him the truth— that the boy who had saved his life some twenty years ago as his father tried to kill him was the same as the man that was dogging him in every aspect of his life now. He just couldn't confirm any of that, least of whom to Nigel. Not yet, anyway. He needed evidence, hard facts, if he was going to convince Lois Lane he was right.
The car pulled up to the Smallville police station, and Lex silently begged for this not to be a dead end as well. Nigel followed him in, although Lex was starting to begrudge the older man's presence. He smiled kindly at the girl behind the desk sergeant's station, who greeted him politely. Everybody in Kansas appeared to be excessively friendly, barring the Kent family of course. It almost made him rethink his initial judgement of the state. "Hello," he replied. "I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with Sheriff Harris?"
"Of course! It's been a slow day, not that we usually have a whole lot going on out here. 'Round the corner, third office on the left side. Mind if I ask what this is about?"
"Just some catching up. It's been a long time."
"Oh, that's swell! Go right on ahead, hon."
Bizarrely friendly, Lex adjusted in his mind, but he was grateful for it in this circumstance. He walked in the direction she'd pointed, only to be filled with confusion when he rounded the corner and saw a young, strawberry-blonde woman sitting behind the desk. "Oh, pardon me, Miss. I was looking for Sheriff Harris' office."
She grinned at him crookedly, and stood with an outstretched hand. Lex shook it, somewhat dazed. "That's my name, don't wear it out. Deputy Sheriff, anyway. Sheriff Harris was my father."
His mouth went dry. "You're Sheriff Harris' daughter?"
"That I am. What can I do you for?"
Lex felt his head spinning. Everything was different, and yet nothing had changed in this small little town. How was it possible for something so life-changing to happen in this place, so catastrophic to so many people, and yet the town lived on, largely unaffected. He supposed it spoke to the nature of life: it goes on. "I, uh, I'm sorry. I was actually just looking for your father. He... he was an old friend of mine, in a way. Saved my life, in fact."
"Aw. That's sweet of you to stop by, but I'm sorry to tell you my father passed away a few years back. Heart attack."
Lex's stomach dropped, the trail going cold once more. He glanced over his shoulder at his tall shadow, the man trying really hard to look like he wasn't paying attention. "I'm so sorry to hear that. He was a good man, Miss Harris."
She gave him a sad smile. "Thank you. And it's Rachel. What's your name?"
"Le... You know what, don't worry about it. I'll just head out. It was very nice to meet you, Rachel, and thank you for your time." He moved to leave, Nigel leading the way down the hallway ahead of him.
"Wait!"
He turned back, letting Nigel get a bit of a head start while he awaited her words. "Yes?"
She glanced around, noting the open door, and got up to close it behind him, sealing them off. "You're him, aren't you?"
"I'm sorry?"
Rachel moved to close the blinds to her office as well, and the pit in his stomach started to fill with nervous anticipation. "The man. From the Kent case."
Lex felt his pulse skyrocket. She knew. Finally, someone who knew. He didn't stop to wonder if she was on his side or not, eagerly nodding his head up and down. "Yes. Yes, I am."
"Thought so. I recognized you from the pictures." She eyed him warily, and seemed to conclude he was all right to talk to. "Look, I don't want to ruffle any feathers. But there's been a whole lot of talk going on about you around town. We don't get many out-of-towners 'round here. And you snooping around this case definitely attracts attention."
Lex took a step back, suddenly wary. The office was small, and feeling smaller by the second. "My apologies if I've stepped on any toes. I'll be leaving town soon here, I just wanted to look into something minor. You know, insurance stuff. I was injured pretty badly," his words flew out of his mouth quicker than he'd meant, trying to cover for himself. What had he gotten himself into? And he was in a police station! How could anything go wrong here?
Rachel's hand landed softly on his arm, and she stared into his eyes calmly. "Hey, breathe. I'm not out to get'cha. I wanna help."
He blinked, soothed by her charming accent and calm, hazel eyes. "Y-you do?"
A knock sounded on her office door behind him, coupled with Nigel's inquisitive voice coming through. "Sir?"
"In-in a minute, Nigel!"
Rachel scribbled some numbers on a piece of paper rapidly. "Look. My pop, he was a suspicious guy. That case made his entire career. He was incredibly cautious, kept copies of everything he could, records of evidence for himself. He went a little cuckoo towards the end, but I can tell you this much— he didn't think Clark Kent was dead, and he wasn't the only one."
Lex swallowed thickly. "H-he wasn't?"
"Nope. One person could be crazy, and two could be a coincidence. But three, now four with you?" She shook her head and crossed the small space to his side. "Not much of a coincidence in my books."
His heart was pounding so hard he thought it would beat right out of his chest. A dissenter. Finally. It felt better than if the skies had opened up and a light shined down on him, illuminating the way. Rachel pressed the scrap of paper into his hand firmly. He looked down at it, trying to make sense of the arrows and the miniature map she'd drawn. "It's an address, but it's hard to find on your own. You're gonna wanna turn right at the big boulder— you'll know it when you see it, trust me. I can meet you there tomorrow morning and give you his notebook and files. I could never make much sense of it myself, but maybe his paranoia will have paid off for you."
Lex felt his heart soar. The odds were finally in his favor. He had something credible, substantial he could offer up as evidence. "Thank you, Rachel. I-I don't know what to say."
"Tell him hi for me, if you ever do find him. He may have only ever had eyes for Lana, but a girl could dream, right? I always had a thing for the bad boys, back then."
He couldn't imagine a scenario where he'd straight up confront Clark Kent about his past, and give up his high ground, but he smiled and nodded anyway, agreeing to her request. He moved for the door, when she put her hand over his on the doorknob. He waited expectantly, starting to get impatient now that he had this new lead.
"And maybe quit bringing the subject up to everybody. You're never gonna convince the people of Smallville that Clark Kent is anything other than dead. And there's some people who would do anything to keep it that way. Some in this office, even."
Lex swallowed, trying to remain unphased by the less-than-subtle warning. Maybe it was time they got out of town anyway. He really shouldn't have left on such short notice in the first place, and they'd been gone several days now. People would surely notice— Lois, surely, had noticed.
After he got the files. Then they could leave.
He opened the door again behind him, expressing his thanks once more. Rachel winked at him before giving him an exaggerated frown. "Now I don't want you two snooping around my town any longer, ya hear? Go back to whatever fancy, high-end town you came from. City Slickers."
Lex was rattled for a moment, but caught her drift as he noticed the curious stares and frowns from the other officers in the building. He glanced at Nigel, barely able to contain his excitement, but did so for Deputy Harris' sake. "Yes, ma'am. Very sorry to barge in like this. We'll be out of your hair."
He turned and hightailed it out of there, not even stopping to see if Nigel was keeping up. He slammed the car door shut behind him and gripped the steering wheel tight, knuckles blanching. He wanted to shout and jump for joy. He laughed, unable to contain himself.
Nigel ducked into the passenger seat of the car and shot him a puzzled look. "What was that all about? What did she say?"
His answering grin was blinding as he turned the ignition in the car. "She said I'm not crazy."
*****LnC*****
Clark shouted in frustration as he did another loop through the arctic circle.
How could he have been so stupid? He was slipping up, left and right. He didn't know where the hell Nigel was, hadn't been in contact with him for five days now. Lex Luthor had also appeared to drop off the face of the planet, which was not suspicious timing at all. The plan to sabotage Luthor's Shockwave system was unraveling at the seams with their investigation into Roarke and Harrington, and quickly. Not to mention that he'd unintentionally screwed up his own operations twice now with his interference. How did one balance catching criminals and using them? It certainly wasn't an easy line to walk.
And to cap it all off, he might genuinely be in love with Lois Lane, and he very well might have blown it.
He couldn't get the taste of her out of his head.
It wasn't fair. He was so close, so close to everything going off without a hitch. The wheels were spinning perfectly, almost reaching the perfect culmination— and he had to go and screw everything up. Maybe it was a fear of success. Maybe it was Lois Lane. Maybe it was self-sabotage.
Maybe it was definitely Lois Lane.
He wanted her so badly, he wanted her to care about him too, he wanted something real and lasting, and those were not things he'd thought about at all until the moment he'd set eyes on this woman. Every moment since had only exacerbated that want, turned it into a need.
It scared him, but he was starting to think he might need Lois more than he needed revenge on Lex.
That was not an okay thought.
No. He didn’t need her. He wanted her. There was a world of a difference in those two statements. The only thing he truly needed from Lois Lane was one damning article, and screwing her over now was not going to help him get that result.
But he also couldn't leave her hurting. He had to make things right, at least for the sake of their work relationship. Then he could be done with that, and keep his distance, but still keep her close for the sake of framing Lex. He kicked at a patch of snow and launched into the sky. He knew what he had to do.
He'd found himself at her door an hour later, running a hand through his still wet hair and adjusting his glasses on his face.
The door opened halfway, and a defensive brunette who was not Lois Lane but had the same angry aura shoved herself into the space with a scowl. "What do you want?"
Clark swallowed, looking at the apartment number to double check he had the right address. "Um, I was looking for Lois Lane, is this the right place?"
"What's it to you?" The younger woman jutted out her chin defiantly, and he saw the family resemblance in that instant. He nodded awkwardly, making some leaps in logic.
"You must be Lucy, her sister, right? I'm—"
"I know who you are."
He sighed. "Look, I know she's mad at me, but I'd just really like to talk to her, and apologize. Would you please let me in, just for a moment?"
"Don't you dare let him in, Lucy!"
He sighed, the sound of hearing her voice for the first time in a couple of days doing something to his insides, even if the tone was an angry one. "I come bearing gifts," he raised his voice a little so she could hear him through the door. He brought his arms out from behind his back with a flourish, showing Lucy the excessively large bouquet of flowers and the equally oversized box of chocolates. The sister gave him that Lane-patented eye roll, although he could see the little crease of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Gotcha.
"No thank you. I don't need any gifts."
Lucy held out her arms to take the gifts off his hands, to which he smiled appreciatively. She shook her head at him with a condescending smile. "You know there's no way I'm letting you in here still, right?"
He sighed, touching his glasses distractedly. "I know. Look, will you just tell her how sorry I am? I really just want to return to our working relationship. Honestly, she's become one of my best friends, and I don't have many friends. I can't afford to lose the few I have," he quipped, smiling at her warmly.
"Plus," he added, a little louder for Lois' benefit, who he was positive was listening just inside, even if he couldn't check with his x-ray vision in front of Lucy. "I think I have a new lead on the Shockwave case." He dangled that in front of her like a treat, waiting to see if she'd take the bait.
She didn't.
His heart somersaulted downhill at her taciturnity. If he was blowing up this project of his for her, she should at least be interested. Project Shockwave, if successful, could potentially be harmful to him and alter ego. The cape-wearing one.
"Well," he spoke softly, the wind rushing out of his sails at her resounding silence. He'd really thought this plan would go better. "I hope to see you at the office. I'm really sorry, again. Oh, and there's a special present in the chocolate box for her, too," he addressed Lucy at the end with a sly wink, even though he really didn't feel it. She smiled sadly at him in return and nodded, giving him back a quiet thank you before closing the door on him.
Clark stared at the closed door for a long moment, debating where to go from here. He considered eavesdropping, or even doing a quick scan of the apartment-- just to do a wellness check… but that thought fizzled away before he could take action. If she was really mad at him, truly inconsolable, then he didn't want to see it. His heart ached, but he didn't need to wallow in it. He turned and ambled slowly down the hallway. Actions spoke louder than words, and he didn't want to stand by idly waiting for her to come around. He had to do something for her, make a grand gesture of sorts.
His steps faltered, the realization hitting him. He had to blow up his Shockwave plans. Clark scowled bitterly, and slammed open the door to the stairwell. Nigel wouldn't like it. Hell, he didn't like it. But it wasn't for either of them. It was for her.
And he'd do just about anything to make her happy.
*****LnC*****
"Wow, Lois. You didn't say he had it that bad for you."
Lois poked her head out from under her blanket cocoon to glare at her younger sister. "He does not."
"Uh, hate to break it to you sis, but a guy doesn't usually bring you chocolates and flowers after one non-committal kiss and a fight. Not in my experience, anyway."
"Yeah, well... he's rich, so it's not like he's out the money for it."
Lucy rolled her eyes, and set the items down on the kitchen counter while she rummaged around for a vase. "He seemed nice enough, though. I'm sure he really meant it. And I doubt he'll bother you again knowing how upset you are. So just enjoy some chocolate candies." She turned on the faucet and let the vase fill halfway as she turned and shot her sister a smirk. "And some eye candy."
Lucy watched with amusement as her sister's face went bright red. "Lucy!!"
"What? You neglected to mention the fact that he's the best looking man on the planet."
"He is not."
"Are you seriously going to deny that?"
Lois bit her lip, and Lucy squared her with her best don't-lie-to-me look. "Okay, he's handsome," she admitted, eyes turned away shyly.
She scoffed. "Lo, he's not just handsome, he's devastatingly handsome. Weak at the knees handsome. Good grief, I don't know how you hadn't kissed the guy already."
"Oh my god, Lucy!!"
She grinned, picking up the chocolate box on her way to the couch. "All right, all right. I'll drop it. For now."
Lois snatched the box out of her sister's hands grouchily and tore off the lid. "Here, eat some chocolate. Maybe that'll shut you up."
Lucy laughed, already feeling a bit better about her sister's state of mind. She wasn't about to say it, not on her life, but just that brief exchange with Clark Kent had lifted her spirits. It was unlike how she'd seen her sister with anybody else, Lex included.
"Well? Give me one."
Lois had frozen, staring down at whatever was in the box lid. Lucy grabbed it from her hands, and almost snorted. Inside was taped a pack of her sister's favorite brand of cigarettes and a note.
"If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. — CK"
Aww. It was so sweet, really. Or it would be. If her sister wasn't already in a relationship with another man.
A man Lucy knew she didn't care for half as much.
She could see the war in her big sister's eyes. "You're allowed to have friends, Lois. I honestly don't think he'd try anything with you again."
"I'm not worried about that," she snapped, and Lucy raised her eyebrows. Lois hunched over, curling her arms around her knees like a child. "Sorry. I just... I know he wouldn't do anything if I asked him not to. I just... I don't know if I want to tell him no."
Lucy absorbed her sister's words silently. The power of that statement almost made her shudder. She knew her sister, and any acknowledgment of feeling at all was equivalent to another person declaring their love from the rooftops. It also lent to a darker, more twisted side to her.
She shifted, tucking one leg underneath her, debating her approach on this subject. "Lois... you're not a cheater."
A beat passed, and her sister seemed to consider her words carefully. Her stomach twisted anxiously, because she had to think about it, and that wasn’t a good sign. “Lois…”
Her sister groaned, burying her face in the blanket once more. "I know that, Luce. You don't think I know that? I'm not Dad. The idea that I might be makes me want to jump off a bridge.”
"You're not Dad, Lois. You aren't anything like him. Do you think he would ever have cried over a little mistake like this for two days? You know he wouldn't. He didn't."
Lois shot her a watery smile before lunging for her and smothering her in a blanket-covered hug. Lucy mimed choking, receiving a playful swat to the arm. She conceded, hugged her sister back. "Seriously, Lo. You're not a bad person. If there's anything making you think that... then maybe you just need to reevaluate your current situation."
Lois sighed, leaned off her baby sister. "I need to talk to Lex."
"Yeah."
"But on a positive note, I shouldn't have to pay for a therapist any time soon. I've got a pretty good one right here."
Lucy laughed. "Yeah, right. I'm here in a pinch, but no way am I diving into your crazy on a regular basis."
That earned her a pillow to the face.
