Lois’ mouth gaped and her hands let go of the dish she’d been holding. The ceramic dish shattered, sending sharp shards in every direction, and smearing seven-layer dip all over the floor. The two bags of chips she had dangling from her fingertips in the grocery store bag made a sick plopping sound as it landed in the middle of the thick dip. Jimmy, to his credit, managed to keep a firm grasp on the two six packs of beer he held. Both of them stood stock still and silent in their shock, their faces gone pale white and their mouths gaping open as they stared. Jimmy’s mouth was moving absently up and down, but no sound came out.
Lois remained still for another moment, and Clark saw an entire array of emotions flit across her features. Shock. Confusion. Surprise. Recognition. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. Contempt. Self-criticism. Clark watched them all, hardly daring to breathe, wondering which emotion would eventually come out on top, and not at all hopeful it would be one in his favor. His stomach twisted into a tight knot and he felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead and back. One of the beads rolled down his spine, down to his underwear, and he was once more grateful for the cape that covered his back. Guilt stabbed at his heart and he was tempted to say something – anything – to break Lois’ deadly silence. But he knew, on a primal level, that anything he could possibly say would only make matters worse.
As the precious seconds ticked by, Lois went beet red in anger. It was only a matter of time before the volcano within her would explode.
Here it comes, Clark thought with abject terror. He couldn’t help but to gulp hard as he waited for her reaction.
“How dare you lie to me!” she yelled slapping Clark across his face, as hard as she could muster. “You no-good, lying piece of…”
“C…CK?” Jimmy stammered in the same moment, cutting Lois off, much to Clark’s relief.
Clark sighed. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“But you’re…you’re…” Jimmy pressed, wide-eyed. Clark didn’t think the younger man had blinked yet.
“Superman. Yes,” Clark supplied. “So, uh…you two got here early,” he managed weakly.
“Yeah,” Jimmy said, dazed. “We thought we’d stop by for the prefight program.” His voice was high and hollow sounding.
“Oh, don’t worry, Jimmy. There’s going to be a prefight alright,” Lois hissed venomously.
Clark sighed as he raked a hand through his hair. “I guessed as much. Now you know my deepest secret.” He turned to Lois, his head lowered in shame, and his enough body feeling like it had deflated somehow.
“All this time!” Lois continued to rant. “All the things we’ve shared. And you didn’t tell me? You lousy, good for nothing worm! You’ve been lying to me this entire time!” she raged at him. She shoved him in the chest, all her might going into it.
Clark closed his eyes, scrunching up his face in his mental anguish. “Lois…I…I tried to tell you. I was going to, so many times.”
“But you didn’t,” she said icily, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes flashed dangerously, in a way Clark had never quite seen before.
“You’re right. I didn’t,” he replied, his shoulders drooping. He no longer retained the strong, confident stance of Superman. He was very much a terrified, average man who had no idea how to rectify the disaster he’d caused. “I should have. I tried to. But things…kept getting in the way.”
“That’s your excuse?” Lois asked, blinking incredulously at the stupidity of his remark. “You…what? Got too busy? ‘Oops, better not tell Lois I’m Superman, there’s a cat stuck in a tree!’” she mocked.
“That’s not fair!” Clark protested mildly. “I wanted to tell you, honest.”
“Yeah, you wanted it so much that you really made it your priority to tell me,” she spat as she rolled her eyes.
“Lois, don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Jimmy offered tremulously, coming to Clark’s aid.
Lois turned on the younger man like she might tear his head off his shoulders for daring to intrude on her anger. “A little harsh?” She shook her head in disbelief and returned her fiery gaze to Clark. “When were you planning on telling me? A year from now? On our tenth anniversary?”
Clark withered under her stare. He swallowed hard, almost too afraid to answer. “I wanted to tell you, the night we had dinner with your mom and sister, until Bruce called to say that Grandma had died. And after Kansas…I lost my nerve.”
“Kansas was three weeks ago,” Lois challenged him, her eyes arched nearly up into her hair line.
Clark solemnly nodded once. “I know,” he offered quietly. He sighed, looking sheepishly down at the floor. “I…I was going to tell you tonight, after the fight, when it was just you and me again,” he explained, ashamed that he’d let his insecurities hold him back. Ashamed that his lack of nerve had forced Lois to discover his secret on her own.
“Why don’t I believe you?” Lois shot back.
“I…” Clark took a steadying breath as he sought to make her understand, and all the while still hyper-aware that time was ticking and that Bruce was still probably in great danger. “I know it sounds like a cop out. It’s not. I’m telling you the truth. I tried to tell you, the other day after the fight was first announced. And then Jack came by and Perry sent us to cover the DA’s statement on the Luthor case. I never got the chance to finish talking to you.”
“I remember,” Lois admitted grudgingly, before adding a snide, “Convenient how every time you say you want to talk to me lately something comes up and you never get around to finishing.” Her words were clipped and each one stung Clark’s heart.
“I guess…I have chickened out, on more than one occasion,” he haltingly admitted. “I just…I wanted to give you the time and space you’d need. I knew you’d be mad at me. I know you’re mad at me right now and…I don’t blame you. I want you to be mad or upset or whatever you need to feel toward me.” He turned his eyes back up to meet her gaze, pleading with her. “But, please, Lois, yell at me later.”
“Mad is an understatement,” Lois snorted angrily, her eyes narrowing impossibly tighter. If she’d possessed heat vision, Clark knew he’d already be a smoldering pile of ashes.
“I know,” he conceded with a nod. “And, I promise, you’ll have your chance to scream and question me later. But right now, I have a job to do.” He straightened up a bit, trying to mentally put himself back into his Superman persona and failing.
“Bruce,” she said flatly.
“So…you heard,” he stuttered fearfully, knowing full well that Bruce’s secret identity had been blown as well. “How much…?”
“How much did we hear? Enough,” Lois said in clipped tones, her eyes flashing with renewed anger.
“Bruce is the Batman,” Jimmy said in awe, shaking his head. “I mean, I’ve always kind of suspected. But to have it confirmed...whoa!” His hand flew up to his forehead, then raked through his hair.
“You…did?” Clark asked, blinking in surprise, knowing he shouldn’t go down that path but unable to squash the question down in his throat.
“I couldn’t be sure of it, of course. But it makes sense Batman would have to have ties to Wayne Enterprises. The kinds of gadgets he was don’t come easily…or cheaply.” Jimmy shrugged as he pointed out what he clearly thought were obvious things. He seemed blissfully unaware of Lois’ eyes boring holes into both Clark and himself.
“Look…feel free to watch the fight here, if you want,” Clark offered, gesturing to the living room, choosing not to examine the logic that Jimmy had followed to correctly surmise Bruce’s alternative identity. “I need to go. Bruce is in trouble and I’m…I’m really worried about him. He’s family, you know?”
“I get it,” Jimmy offered, nodding. “But…CK? Um…I can still call you CK, right?” he looked quizzically at Clark.
“Of course,” Clark said with a shallow nod of his head. “It’s who I am. This,” he said, looking down at his costume, “is nothing more than a disguise. Just, uh, you can’t call Superman ‘CK’ in public when I’m dressed like this.” He smiled slightly.
Jimmy laughed. “Of course.”
“I’m not watching the fight,” Lois put in firmly. She poked him in the center of the S on his chest with her index finger. “I’m going with you.”
“Lois…you can’t,” Clark protested, too quickly.
Lois’ already enraged features stormed over more fiercely. “Bruce is family, right? That’s what you just said.” She poked him once again for good measure. “In a weird way, because of his connection to you, he’s my family too, even though I’m well beyond furious with you right now. I’m going.” She dropped her arms to put her hands on her hips, they way she always did when she took a hard, immovable stance on something. “So you either take me with you or I’ll drive to Gotham myself. It might take me a while, but I’m going to be a part of this,” Lois said, her defiance blazing like a bonfire Clark could actually see.
“Me too,” Jimmy added with a stiff nod. He mimicked Lois’ stance, but on him, it was almost comical in Clark’s fear-drenched mind.
“Jimmy…” Clark tried to begin. He took one step toward his friend, but stopped before he could step in the mess of Lois’ dip.
Jimmy shook his head with a frown as he crossed his arms. “CK, Gotham is a big place. Bruce could be anywhere. I may not be able to fight, but you know I’m good with computers.”
“I know you are, but this is different,” Clark argued impatiently, but gently. He shook his head in turn. “I can’t ask you to get involved. Not after I’ve lied to the both of you about who I am.”
Lois rolled her eyes, hard. “Then it’s a good thing you’re not asking. We’re telling you that we’re helping, whether you like it or not,” she said brusquely, her tone brooking no arguments.
“Even Superman needs help sometimes, CK,” Jimmy told him, his voice considerably more sympathetic than Lois’.
Clark closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally raced through his options. Each one was worse than the last, he realized. After a moment, he opened his eyes again.
“Okay,” he relented. “I have no idea how I’m going to explain all of this to Bruce once I find him but…you’re right. I probably could use some help. Just…ah…one second.”
With that, he cleaned up the kitchen and put the surviving food and drinks away, and locked the door to his apartment. Then he ushered them both out to his terrace, scooped them up in his arms, and made a beeline for Gotham City and Wayne Manor.
***
“Alfred,” Clark called as he lightly landed in the tunnel that led into the Batcave. He gently set Lois and Jimmy both on their feet. “I’m here. Open up.”
“With guests, no less,” Alfred’s voice said, as the heavily armored door slid silently upward into the ceiling to allow them all entrance. He sounded less than enthusiastic to be seeing Lois and Jimmy, though he’d met them both before and had gotten along with them just fine. It stemmed, Clark knew, from Alfred’s overprotectiveness about Bruce’s secret identity.
“Long story, but Lois and Jimmy know about me…and Bruce,” Clark explained as they walked forward, into the Cave. “They’re here to help.”
“Master Bruce isn’t going to like that,” Alfred observed neutrally.
Clark shrugged. “He doesn’t really have a choice. Besides, as Jimmy pointed out, having some help on this isn’t the worst thing. Gotham is a big place, and we can’t afford to seek help from the authorities. There’s no way we could explain things without implicating Bruce, while making them care enough to make an effort to find Batman.”
“That’s true enough,” Alfred agreed. He sighed, then turned to Lois and Jimmy. “Please, excuse my earlier rudeness. But Master Bruce’s secrets are not something I take lightly. Having anyone else know is not something I’m typically comfortable with.”
“Understandable,” Jimmy offered. “But, Alfred, you know me. And Lois. We can keep his secret. CK’s too,” he said, giving Clark a meaningful look.
“I know you will, Jimmy,” Clark replied, giving his friend a quick pat on the shoulder.
Alfred nodded. “If Master Clark trusts that you can, then I will too. I’ve known him a long time and he’s an excellent judge of character.”
Clark looked toward Lois. It wasn’t like her not to speak up, and her silence terrified him. She must have sensed his eyes shifting in her direction.
“Of course we’ll keep the knowledge to ourselves. I’m mad at Clark, but I’m not stupid. It would be catastrophic if the public found out what he and Bruce like to do in their spare time,” she said irately, resentful of Alfred’s insinuation that she might rush off and alert the presses that Bruce Wayne moonlit in a bat costume.
“I’m relieved, Miss Lane,” Alfred said, touching a hand to his chest. “I know what a story it is that you’re giving up, by keeping this knowledge in confidence.”
That softened her a little. “Yeah…well…” she stammered.
“Tell me everything you know,” Clark said after a moment, when it was clear that Lois wasn’t going to continue her train of thought.
“Very well. Come on over to the computer,” Alfred said, waving everyone to follow him into the very heart of the Batcave.
Clark let Alfred and Lois take the only two seats that sat before the massive computer monitor. Once, there had been three chairs there, back when he’d been Nightwing and had regularly been a part of patrolling Gotham and taking criminals off the street. He glanced around, and found the third across the room, before one of Bruce’s work benches. He zipped over and rolled it to the computer for Jimmy.
“Thanks, CK,” Jimmy acknowledged as he sat.
Clark nodded once at his friend, then stood next to Lois’ chair with his arms folded across his chest.
“Go ahead, Alfred,” he encouraged.
Alfred tapped the keyboard, bringing up an aerial map of the city. He zeroed in on one section, one of the shadier areas of Gotham.
“Master Bruce was in this area, the last I had contact with him,” he explained, his voice steady but intense. “He was checking into rumors that the Joker might have his headquarters in the vicinity.”
“Joker?” Clark asked in surprise. “We haven’t heard a peep out of him in a long time.”
Alfred nodded. “Indeed. But lately, he seems to have surfaced again, albeit subtly. Not at all like his usual…shall we say…more flamboyant self.”
Clark rubbed his chin in thought. “That’s a little more than suspicious,” he commented.
“Master Bruce thought so too. Then, there’s the issue of Intergang moving into the area.”
Clark’s eyes widened.
“Intergang?” Lois said in shock, taking the question out of his mouth. “In Gotham? They’ve only ever caused trouble in Metropolis before.”
“Corruption always spreads,” Clark replied, distaste in his mouth. Intergang had been a source of endless trouble for both Superman and the reporting team of Lane and Kent.
“Again, only rumors so far, but they’ve seemed fairly credible,” Alfred said with a shake of his head. “Master Bruce thinks the two might be related…Intergang and the Joker’s sudden reemergence.”
Clark blew out a controlled puff of air and ran his hand through the slicked down hairdo that he’d adopted for Superman. “If that’s true, that is a very big problem for this city.”
“No argument here,” Alfred agreed. He tapped the keyboard again, narrowing the view down once more. “Master Bruce was around here when I first noticed that the signal between our communication devices was failing. I tried every trick in the book to boost the signal, but everything I tried failed. The signal continued to deteriorate, until I could no longer make out anything Master Bruce was saying. He was still speaking, but all that came through was half formed words that I couldn’t decipher.”
“And you’re pretty skilled at figuring out what he’s saying when the communicator signal is weak,” Clark reminded him.
“Well, not to pat myself on the back, but…yes, I am,” Alfred said with just the tiniest bit of pride showing in a barely-there smile. “In any case, the next thing I knew, the signal went completely dead. Usually, I can get at least some static or something. This…it’s like the entire signal was shut off on both ends.”
“What was he doing there? Was he about to enter any buildings? Was he sitting on a rooftop doing surveillance?” Clark asked, his mind a blur of thoughts. “Anything that we can use to narrow down his exact last location?”
“He’d only just arrived in the area when the signal started to fade,” Alfred told him. “If he said what his next move was going to be, it got lost when the reception cut out,” Alfred regretfully informed them all.
“Okay,” Clark said with false calmness. “We at least have a start. I’ll fly over and see if I can find anything to give us a clue about what happened.”
“Very good, sir,” Alfred said with approval. “What can I do to help?”
“I’ll need a few things,” Clark said slowly, thinking through what he might need. “Mind if I raid Bruce’s gadgets?”
“You never need to ask,” Alfred grinned. “You’ve more than earned unrestricted access to everything here. Everything is still in the same place, for the most part.”
“Thanks, Alfred. It should only take me a second or two.”
With a whoosh, Clark sped around the Cave at top speed, gathering the few items he thought he could use. It was tempting to take more, but Superman didn’t need the gadgets and gizmos to do his work. All of that would only serve to hinder him, not help him.
“Okay,” he said, coming to a stop, right back in the spot he’d been standing in a few heartbeats before. “Here. Lois? Jimmy? Take these.”
“What are they?” Lois asked suspiciously, as she held out her hand.
Clark dropped the tiny micro headset in her hand. “It’s a headset. Earpiece. Mouthpiece,” he explained, pointing.
“It’s so small,” Jimmy replied in wonderment as Clark gave him one as well.
“It is,” Clark agreed. “But it’s very, very powerful. You won’t have to speak any louder than normal, and I’ll be able to hear you. I’d be able to anyway, even with just my enhanced hearing. But, with this, I’ll at least be able to keep in contact with you. I hope. Whatever caused the signal outage might still be out there.”
“What can we do to help, CK?” Jimmy asked.
“You said it yourself, you’re the best I know when it comes to computers,” Clark replied encouragingly. “Stay here, in the Cave. Help Alfred with the computer. See if you can pick up the signal that Bruce’s earpiece should be putting out. In addition to my own earpiece, I’ve got a tiny body camera on. You should be able to see whatever I’m seeing.” He pointed to what looked like a dirt smudge in the corner of the S on his chest. “It doesn’t look like much, but trust me, just like the earpieces, it’s pretty powerful. I can’t record anything from my end. But you can, from what gets transmitted back here, to the computer. Just in case we need evidence to put someone in jail, of course. Better safe than sorry. Plus, if you can see what I’m seeing, you can pinpoint my location better.”
“Got it, CK. You can count on me.”
“I know I can, Jimmy. Thank you.”
Inside, he smiled. It felt good, to see and hear Jimmy so effortlessly calling him “CK,” even while he stood there, completely dressed as Superman. And he knew how distracting the costume could be. He and Alfred had designed it that way, so that no one would even think about Superman having a normal identity.
But Lois…
She’d referred to him by his true name, but she hadn’t yet addressed him as such. Did she see only the blue suit? He didn’t think so, but it was hard to judge what was going on in her mind.
“What about me?” Lois asked, chin raised in defiance. “Are you going to sideline me too?”
“Lois…” Clark began uncertainly.
“You are!” she accused in disbelief that he would have the audacity to leave her behind after all his lies to her.
Clark motioned for her to walk with him. To his surprise, she silently followed his lead. He went halfway across the Cave and stopped near a workbench filled with Batman cowls, all in various stages of completion. He leaned against it, the high table pressing against his lower back, and crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.
“Lois, I need you to stay here, with Jimmy and Alfred,” he finally said.
“No.”
“Please,” he begged. “It’s safer here, in the Cave.”
“You just don’t think I can contribute,” she accused.
“Lois, that is the absolute furthest thing from the truth,” he told her, his mouth open in shock that she would think such a thing. “I know you’re more than capable of helping…if this was a normal circumstance. But if the Joker really is involved, it’s not a normal situation at all. Insane doesn’t even cover it with that guy.”
“I’ve handled nutjobs before,” Lois argued defiantly.
“Not like this one,” Clark replied with a shake of his head. “Joker is unlike anyone we’ve ever faced. If you so much as breathe wrong around him, he’ll torture and kill you for giggles. I wish I was kidding.”
“I’m not afraid of some weirdo in clown makeup,” Lois challenged.
“Maybe not. But I am,” Clark said firmly. Then, softer, “Look, Lois. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I know you’re mad at me right now. And maybe my secret…the way you found out…maybe that makes you not love me anymore. Maybe it’s a deal breaker and you can’t bring yourself to be with me anymore. I’ll understand if that’s the case. But I still love you, more than anything on this Earth. If I couldn’t protect you from Joker…or anyone else…I couldn’t live with myself.”
Lois peered at him closely, and Clark felt almost like he was the one under X-ray vision. “You’re scared,” she said, awe creeping into her features as she put the pieces together once the realization set in.
“Does that really surprise you?” he asked, taken aback.
“A…little,” she haltingly admitted.
“Lois, I’m invulnerable to bullets, not to fear,” he said gently. He hesitantly reached out to cup her cheek with his hand. When she didn’t flinch away, he figured it was safe to keep his hand there. “And my feelings for you…they make me the most vulnerable I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
“In a bad way?” she asked in a small voice.
“In the best way,” he corrected. “With you…feeling this way…loving you…it’s made me the closest I will ever be to being a true human.”
“Clark…you are a human,” she reminded him, and he was never so happy to hear her use his name in the entire time he’d known her.
“No,” he said with a single shake of his head, “I’m not. I’m Kryptonian, remember?” He smiled unsurely.
“It doesn’t matter,” Lois argued.
“Maybe not, but right now, my feelings toward you will get you killed if we’re not careful. I can’t help it. I can’t fully hide my love for you, not even when I’m in this suit pretending to be a friendly, but aloof, alien hero. And the second that happens, if Joker sees it, it’ll be your death sentence. I can’t take that risk. Please, Lois, stay here. Help Alfred and Jimmy.” He was acutely aware that he was pleading with her, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was her safety.
She looked ready to continue to press the issue, but then, to Clark’s amazement, all she said was, “You’d better get going. Bruce needs you.”
He nodded. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She nodded in turn. “Just…do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Come back in one piece. You still have a lot of explaining to do.”
Clark smiled. “I intend to.” He straightened his shoulders in readiness to leave. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” she replied.
He went to kiss her, then stopped himself. He wasn’t sure what he was allowed to do, and what was now off limits with her. He contented himself to inclining his head in acknowledgement, and gently resting his hand on her shoulder.
“Thanks,” he said hoarsely, his voice cracking with how much his heart was hurting and how scared he was that once Bruce was found, Lois was going to walk out of his life forever.
***
“Testing,” Clark called over the headset as he exited the hidden tunnel leading from the Batcave out into the bright sunshine. He soared straight upward, until the city of Gotham lay spread out beneath him like a model toy town. “Can you all hear me?”
“Loud and clear, CK,” came Jimmy’s reply.
“Roger that, sir,” said Alfred.
“I hear you,” Lois said distractedly.
“Okay, good. Jimmy? Is the body cam sending you back a signal as well?” Clark asked.
“Yeah. Geez, you’re high up. It’s hard to make out where in the city you actually are. Lucky I’m not afraid of heights,” Jimmy said, only half-joking, from his tone of voice.
“Sorry. I figured this was a good place for me to get oriented,” Clark explained. “I’m not sure the camera will be able to keep up with me when I fly at super speed, so don’t be alarmed if it flickers in and out a bit as I search.”
“Got, CK. You do what you need to.”
“Thanks, Jimmy.” He paused, looking out over the city he’d once called his home. It was eerily quiet in the streets. But the fight would be starting soon, so he guessed most people were indoors, glued to their televisions. “I’m going to head over to Bruce’s last known position and see if I can find any clues.”
“Okay, we’re with you,” Jimmy said, and Clark could imagine the younger man’s glee at using such an incredible computer. It was easily more powerful than any computer Jimmy would have ever dreamed of, Clark knew.
“Great, hang on,” Clark said, zipping away in the direction of the crumbling old, crime ridden neighborhood.
The place had always given him the creeps, his invulnerability aside. In a lot of ways, it was a worse area than Hobbs Bay, back home in Metropolis. Crime and criminals never rested here. And the poor people that were forced to live in the area were mostly homeless drifters. Not even the Gotham PD liked going into the area. Too many of them had never come back out alive. But Bruce had been fearless. Cautious, whenever he needed to go to that part of town, but fearless nonetheless.
“Oh, God,” Jimmy’s voice whispered in his ear as the landscape blurred by beneath Clark as he flew. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
“Sorry,” Clark reflexively apologized, but he could not bring himself to fly any slower. Each second felt too valuable to waste.
In mere seconds, Clark landed at the intersection of Vernon and Bright Streets, which had seemed to be at least close to Bruce’s last known position. That was where he began his search. He took his time, forcing himself to go slowly, to ensure that he didn’t miss a single detail. But there was nothing to be found. He took to the air again, searching with every ability at his disposable.
Three blocks over, on Halabard Avenue, he found what he was looking for.
Batman’s cowl, laying crushed and discarded on the ground next to a stinking dumpster, a bloodstained playing card next to it. It wasn’t hard to see the image printed on it.
“Joker,” Clark growled through gritted teeth.
To Be Continued…
