Delusions of Grandeur
Folc4evernaday
Chapter 18
***
Two Weeks Later…Loneliness.
That was all Clark Kent could focus on over the last few weeks. He had been consumed by the isolated feeling that threatened to swallow him whole. The empty one-bedroom apartment only helped to amplify the feeling as he began unpacking the last of the boxes he’d retrieved from Perry. What he’d been able to salvage from the fire had been stored in Perry’s beach house while they’d been on the run from Luthor. It wasn’t much but it was a start. That combined with the things he’d retrieved from the cabin were all he had left to start over.
He’d spent the last two weeks pushing the limits with his powers, trying to get himself where he once was. From what he could tell just about everything had restored to its former strength. The bout with Kryptonite didn’t help his recovery. His mom had been thrilled when he asked her to help make the suits. As it turned out she already had three prepared for when he was ready to return. It still amazed him how the women in his life could be so confident about a decision he himself wasn’t completely sure of. Still, he trusted both his parents and Lois’ judgement. They were right.
He couldn’t let Luthor win.
The world needed Superman.
And he was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that Superman needed Lois Lane. She still wasn’t talking to him. He’d attempted to visit and Pete refused to let him in for fear it would risk Lois’ recovery. He found himself faced with the possibility of a future where Lois Lane wasn’t a part of his life. It was like losing a limb. He hadn’t realized how dependent he’d become on having Lois there with him. Now here he was facing each day without her and slowly wishing he would wake up from this nightmare he was in.
That thought weighed heavily on him as he continued to unpack the boxes of the few items he had left to his name. He pulled out a photo from the office party Perry had thrown when they had cracked the Messenger scandal. The naïve Kansas boy that stared back at him seemed like a stranger to him. How little he knew about life or how cruel it could be. He let out a deep sigh and set a few of his other restored photos and knickknacks on the mantel next to it.
The money he had left from his last check with Nate’s crew combined with the money he’d had in savings—after Davenport had his identity and accounts restored—left him with enough to keep him afloat until he found another job. Once the paperwork was finished he was also supposed to get a check from the insurance company that would help pay for refurnishing his apartment. He stole a glance toward the photo on the mantel. He missed his friends at the Planet. He missed working there and knowing he was making a difference whether he wore a cape or not.
Most of all, he missed Lois.
He had busied himself with anything and everything to keep his mind busy. He helped move Perry and Alice back to Metropolis. He helped Jack move to Bangor, Maine of all places where his brother’s now adoptive family had been moved for their protection. He helped his dad rebuild the barn, repair the wraparound porch and he still couldn’t keep his mind off the aching hole he felt inside his heart.
He pulled out the large bag his mom had sent with him on his last trip to Smallville. Four suits. He knocked on the hollow wood of the closet in his new bedroom, pushing it back to reveal the hidden closet he’d built in last week. He’d spent the last few weeks mentally and physically preparing to return.
He couldn’t let Luthor win.
He refused to let Luthor decide whether Superman would return or not.
He pulled the suits out of the bag and hung them on the hangers in the hidden closet, straightening the red cape before pushing the hidden panel back and closing it. He stole a glance toward the clock. It was nearly two o’clock. He was supposed to be meeting Perry and Jimmy in front of the Daily Planet for an update on the Luthor case at five. He glanced around the apartment. It felt so empty without his furniture but it felt more welcoming than some of the places he’d been in over the last few months. He recalled all too well the cold tiny room he’d been trapped in for three months before Lois had found him.
He looked out the window leading out to the balcony. ‘Time to rip off the band aid,’ he told himself. In a blur of red and blue he spun into the suit. He let out a shallow breath, looking down at the blue, red, and yellow suit. It hadn’t felt this intimidating when he’d tried it on back in Smallville. Part of that probably had to do with the fact that he knew he wasn’t preparing to go on potential rescues. The last time he’d worn the suit. The last time he’d flown in the suit had been when he’d been lured into Luthor’s trap.
<<“Superman doesn’t exist anymore,”
“Yes, he does,”>>
<<“You can’t change who you are…and you can’t let him win. After everything he did you can’t.”>> Feeling a rush of adrenaline run through him he tightened his fist, determined to take back control over the one part of his life he could change. At super-speed he flew out the window, soaring higher and higher into the clouds until he reached the cool air just above the clouds. He closed his eyes, allowing his mind to take in the senses that were suddenly coming at him at once. The sound of a distress call caught his attention and he looked up.
“Mayday, Air Traffic Control this is Flight 317. We are in distress! Repeat, we are in distress. Losing altitude by the second….”“I’m on my way,” he said, soaring toward the plane that was in trouble.
***
It all looked the same. The same street. The same building. The same everything. Lois sat in the car staring at the building where she knew her apartment was. Perry said her landlord had moved her to the fifth floor and everything the police had confiscated of hers had been moved into the apartment. Still she felt sick to her stomach as she stared up at the building that held so many haunting memories.
Her hand gripped the door handle as she sat there, contemplating how she could do this everyday. How could she go back to the place where she’d almost lost her life?
“Sometimes the hardest step is the first one,” she heard Jack Davenport say.
She turned to him, uncertain what to say in response. “Easy for you to say. Your first step isn’t retracing the steps that nearly got you killed.”
“Come on, I’ll walk with you,” he said, pointing to the building.
“I don’t want to be here,” she said hoarsely.
“Then where do you want me to take you?” Jack asked. “I can’t leave you on the street.”
“I don’t care.” She said tearfully. “Just not here,”
“Okay,” he turned the engine on and the radio announcer’s voice filled the car.
“Shocking news rocked the city this afternoon when just moments ago Flight 317 was stopped at the last second from impact by none other than Superman. A press conference has been called and…”
Lois turned the dial, changing the station and leaning back in her seat. Davenport looked over at her, “Don’t you want to know where he’s been all this time?”
“No,” Lois said coolly.
***
Largest Crime Syndicate Exposed!
Lex Luthor = Crime Boss! Franklin Stern took a long puff from his cigar as he read through the morning paper, seeing the front page photo of the disgraced Lex Luthor being escorted out of his own party in handcuffs. It was going to be a good day.
“Mr. Stern?”
He looked up and saw his head engineer looking at him with a pleading expression. “The plans? What did you think of them?”
“I love them,” Stern replied with a broad grin. “Get these filed with City Hall and let’s get started…”
***
Lois sunk into the warm water of the bathtub, enjoying the feeling of the water enveloping her as she tilted her head back against the porcelain edge of the tub. She’d checked into a hotel room for the week until she could figure out what to do next. She’d have to get her things but she couldn’t do that alone. She’d have to figure that out eventually.
Lois stared at the ceiling feeling the water begin to cool the longer she remained submerged in the water. She knew what she was doing was the right thing. She needed to put some distance between her and Clark. Still she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt over not at least trying to go to the press conference. She had been the one to push him to return to his Superman duties.
It hurt.
Everything hurt with an intensity she couldn’t explain.
She felt a lump in her throat and she let out a sob, gripping the side of the tub as another wail came out. She couldn’t explain it. Five months of constantly looking over her shoulder and having to hide had taken their toll on her. Now that she wasn’t forced into living on the lam and trying to survive she found herself being hit with the magnitude of emotions she’d been suppressing for so long.
Her hand clamped over her mouth and she stifled another wail, sitting up in the tub and burying her face in her hands. She rocked herself back and forth, trying to calm the tsunami of pain, hurt and anguish that she’d kept suppressed for so long.
Unable to stand it any longer she reached for the stopper, pulling the plug up and allowing the water to drain out. She felt the cold air hit her moist skin and goosebumps raise all over. She let out another sob and reached her hand over the side of the tub to give her the support she needed to stand up. A few wobbly steps later she reached for the towel hanging on the towel rack and wrapped it around herself. She could still feel the cold air on her back and shoulders as she hugged her arms around herself. Her teeth chattered and she reached up for the long terry cloth robe hanging on the back of her door. She wrapped it around her, tying the sash tightly around her waist and walking into the bedroom to escape the anguish that had overtaken her.
***
The crowd around him seemed to blend together into a blur of color as Clark scanned the faces, searching for the one person he wished was there. He knew it didn’t make sense for her to be there. There was no Daily Planet to report for so there was no reason for Lois to be there. He wasn’t even sure if she’d returned to Metropolis. Pete said she’d left with Jack Davenport yesterday.
He knew it was unrealistic to expect her to want to return after everything. As much as he wished things could go back to the way they once were he knew that ship had sailed. Things could never go back to how they were. His relationship with Lois would never be the same. He couldn’t unsay the hurtful accusations he’d thrown at her. He couldn’t change the fact that she knew the truth. He couldn’t erase the past five months of living on the run.
Nothing was the same.
He looked down, stepping away from the podium, ready to rid himself of the crowd that was all too eager to welcome back their hero. Superman’s absence was something he never would have rectified if it hadn’t been for Lois forcing him to step out of the shadows and do what he was born to do. She refused to let him sit back and allow Luthor to win. Though that wasn’t the story he could tell these people as they pressed him for photo ops and exclusives. They wanted the feel good version of Superman fighting the good fight and walking away the victor. They didn’t want to see the ugly truth or be exposed to how close he’d been to walking away from it all.
The truth was, Superman wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for Lois. He may have the powers and the need to help but Lois was the one that helped keep him centered. Every time he came close to giving up there she was pulling him back and forcing him to keep fighting.
Except this time.
***
Ellen Lane straightened her jacket, looking behind her to make sure her daughter was behind her. She followed the man in front of her, hoping against hope that this wasn’t a fluke. She’d spent months clinging to every tidbit of news that was sent her way as she faced the harsh reality that she might never be able to return home. Not only had she been isolated from everything she knew and loved but she had endured the cruel torture of mourning the loss of her firstborn—told that she had been killed—all in an elaborate hoax to keep Lois’ former fiancé from discovering the truth.
They could have told her.
They could have saved her from the heartache she and Sam had been faced with.
“I haven’t told her,” the man said, looking behind him. “Just prepare yourself. She’s been through a lot.”
“But she’s alive?” Ellen clarified, “You’re sure that’s Lois?”
“Positive,” he responded. With that he lifted his arm up to knock on the door.
She looked back at Lucy who was holding her hand with a death grip. There was a noise of someone walking inside the room. A voice came from the other side of the door, “Who is it?”
“Davenport,” the man responded. “I thought you might need something to eat after the drive,” He held up the takeout bag from Luigi’s that they’d picked up. “I’m told it’s your favorite.”
The door opened and a woman with short auburn hair and her daughter’s face burst out of the room accusingly, “Luigi’s is not my favorite,” she retorted. “I…” She stopped short when she caught sight of Ellen and Lucy standing behind Agent Davenport. “Mom?”
***
Perry looked around the familiar street, walking up to the tall structure that had once held the mystical Daily Planet where he’d poured his blood, sweat and tears into. A hand pressed into his back, “Are you okay?” he heard his wife ask.
“It’s just hard seeing this place run down like this,” he whispered, feeling the emotion begin to get the best of him.
“I know,” Alice said carefully. “It’s got a lot of good memories.”
“We started our family here,” Perry said softly.
“Literally,” Alice grinned back at him. “I thought you were nuts when you tried to propose in the middle of the newsroom.”
“I figured that was where I asked you to go to the Annual Charity Ball with me. I needed all the good luck I could get,” Perry recalled fondly.
“I wish they’d just tear this place down. There're too many memories here…” a voice came from behind them.
Perry turned to see Jimmy walking up to the entrance, “Jimmy, good to see you,”
Jimmy had gotten himself a job as a freelance photographer with Stern Media after he moved back to the city. He’d been able to get himself into a new apartment with a few of the guys that used to work in the printing press which made the apartment he was living in more affordable. It had been eye opening to see how well Jimmy had taken to journalism and needing to learn the dos and don’ts of investigative journalism. His writing still lacked the luster that needed to be there but his photography was spot on. Jimmy was coming into his own self and he couldn’t be prouder.
“Most of them good,” Clark said, walking up the steps.
“Clark, you look good,” Perry drawled, reaching his hand out to shake the young man’s hand.
He noticed the worry lines on Clark’s face as he looked around the worn-down building that used to house their place of employment. It was hard to believe the man standing before him was the same man that had waltzed into his office asking for a job with articles from the Borneo Gazette. The country charm and naïve outlook on life had been a refreshing change to those reporters fresh out of Met-U with a chip on their shoulder. He’d taken a chance on Clark and it had paid off ten-fold.
Gone was the long mullet and baggy suits, but in their place was a young man that had found himself and maybe lost himself all at the same time. He hadn’t asked what had happened between his former reporting duo. A part of him didn’t want to know, but he knew there had been a change between them. Lois refused to talk to or about Clark and the young man’s mournful expression kept him from pressing for any information. He looked like he’d been up for weeks despite the clean cut appearance he tried to portray to the world.
“Thanks,” Clark forced a smile that Perry was sure would break the young man’s face with the pained expression on his face.
“Any word from Jack Davenport?” Alice asked cautiously. “I know he arranged this meeting for the update on the Luthor case, but he seems to be missing.”
“I think that’s him,” Jimmy pointed to the car that just pulled up to the curb. The car parked and the passenger door opened, followed by the driver’s side. From the passenger’s side out stepped Lois.
“Lois, darlin’ you are a sight for sore eyes,” Perry beamed with a strain in his voice. The last few months had been hell on her but it didn’t show unless you looked past her façade of a forced smile. The haunting despair in her eyes was enough to break him right there where he stood. It tore him to pieces to know how deeply the scars that Luthor had left still remained.
“Thanks, Perry,” Lois said, approaching him cautiously.
Behind her Jack Davenport approached. “I guess the whole gang is here?”
“Jack moved out to Bangor to be near Denny,” Clark said softly.
“Yeah,” Davenport nodded his head, “Well, I know you all have been through hell. I wanted you to be the first to hear the news. We found the golden goose to connect Luthor to …everything.” Jack pointed at the building behind them. “Including this,” He let out a long breath, “Pete Black has agreed to testify. We had a few employees from LexLabs hand over crucial evidence in exchange for protection against Luthor. Given everyone Lex Luthor has a connection with is behind bars and the man has been put in isolation with a complete media blackout thanks to our wonderful federal prosecutor that wants to take advantage of Mr. Luthor’s misconception that Ms. Lane is dead that won’t be a problem.”
A look exchanged between Lois and Clark but neither said anything. Jimmy spoke up, “That’s great. Really,”
“Don’t everyone celebrate all at once,” Jack Davenport smirked. “Look, I know this isn’t going to change the last few months but it will give you the peace of mind to take that first step forward.”
“What about the Planet?” Clark asked. “What’s going to happen to it?”
Perry sighed. “I know. I know. I hate it that Luthor got his way in this one thing.”
A voice behind him bellowed, “He didn’t!”
They all turned to see a large truck and crane carrying the globe of the Daily Planet. Franklin Stern sat in the driver's seat of the truck. “Look!” Jimmy pointed. “Mr. Stern?”
“Great shades of Elvis!” Perry shouted, approaching Franklin Stern with a grin on his face.
“I think you have your answer,” Jack Davenport patted Clark on the shoulder. “I’ve got to head back to the office.” He looked at Lois, “You going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” Lois nodded, looking toward the globe on the forklift, “More than okay,” Davenport nodded and headed back to the car he’d driven up in.
“We’ll start on the building next week, but first I thought we’d announce to the world we’re back in business.” Franklin Stern said with a broad grin, “I agree with you, Mr. White. Metropolis needs the Daily Planet.” Stern stepped out of the truck and Perry shook his hand eagerly.
“You won’t regret this, Mr. Stern,” Perry smiled broadly.
“There were some ideas I had about modernization,” Mr. Stern added.
“Modernization?” Perry asked wearily.
“Yes, improvements, expansions…Would you like to see the plans?” Mr. Stern pulled out the blueprints from his truck.
“Now, Mr. Stern! Wait, just a doggone minute here…” Perry followed Mr. Stern as he rolled out the plans.
***
“Now, Mr. Stern! Wait, just a doggone minute here…” Perry followed Mr. Stern as he rolled out the plans and Lois cracked a smile.
She stared up at the Daily Planet globe as it was lifted on the crane to return it to its rightful place in the center of the city. It appeared the metal globe had been polished and repaired from the damage the fire had done. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Alice standing next to her.
“Amazing how one building can change so many lives, isn’t it?” Alice White asked, squeezing her shoulder.
“Yeah,” Lois allowed a smile spread across her face. She could feel tears threaten to make their presence known. The emotional afternoon of finally reconnecting with her mother and sister left her feeling off balance. Now seeing the Planet restored and coming face to face with Clark again she was faced with a wave of emotions that she couldn’t decide what to do with. Her eyes drifted to Clark who was leaning against one of the columns, watching as the crane lifted the globe above them and placed it in its home nested above the windows he’d flown her through after Superman’s debut almost a year and a half ago.
Lois wiped a few tears out of her eyes. “All is right in the world,”
Clark nodded his head looking up at her, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in all my life.”
She felt a flutter in her abdomen when she caught his gaze. It would be easy to let herself give in to the pull that was constantly drawing her to him. It wouldn’t take a lot of convincing. After so many months of fighting it and then finally giving in she knew the temptation to give into the less rational parts of her brain was much stronger than before.
Alice cleared her throat, “Uh, Jimmy, why don’t you come look at those plans of Mr. Stern’s with me?”
“What?” Jimmy looked at Alice in confusion, not following the subtle hint she was giving him. She gave him a look and then he got the message, “
Ohhhh, yeah let’s look at those blueprints.”
Lois watched them leave and muttered, “Traitors,” She looked back at Clark for a split-second, “I should go,”
“No, Lois, wait,” Clark called out to her as he took a step toward her, closing the distance between them.
“What?” she looked back at him, crossing her arms over her chest.
He stole a glance toward the crowd surrounding Franklin Stern of engineers and Daily Planet staff that Mr. Stern had invited over. “Is there someplace we can go to talk?”
“What’s left to say?” Lois asked half-heartedly, turning to walk away. “You’ve already made it perfectly clear how little you think of me. How little you trust me…”
“I trust you more than anyone, Lois,” he gave her a pleading look.
“Because you
have to” Lois said dismissively. She felt a pang in her chest as she stared back at him. This would be so much easier if they could just go back to how things were before. Before she knew about the deceit. Before she knew how broken life could be, but she couldn’t. She didn’t ask to be let in on his secret life and he didn’t choose to share it either.
“Look, it’s whatever. Neither of us asked for any of this.” She shrugged it off, trying to hide the gaping wound of how deeply she was still hurting from him. “Just forget it. What happened …it’s over. I’m not going to tell anyone. Your secret is safe you don’t have to pretend…”
“I’m not pretending anything,” He said with a hurt expression on his face, “And I don’t want to forget.” He took a step toward her, “These last two weeks have been…hell.”
“Yeah, well, it hasn’t exactly been a picnic for me either,” she scowled back at him.
“I know,” he said with a sigh.
She fought the urge to bite back a callous remark, trying to remain in control of her emotions that were threatening to become too much for her. “I didn’t ask for this.” She said harshly, “I didn’t ask to be told and you didn’t choose to share your secret. I get it. I do, but quit trying to twist the facts.” She felt her voice waver and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I can’t take another person lying and deceiving and…” She stopped short feeling the tears begin to build up. “I won’t go through that again.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said cautiously.
“But you did,” she whispered tearfully, “I’m just the idiot that thought maybe just maybe if I gave you a chance you could trust me enough to tell me yourself. But you never did and you never would have,”
“That’s not true,”
“Isn’t it?” Lois bit out vehemently. “The minute you found out I knew you assumed I must be after a story or manipulating you or whatever twisted version of facts you had planted in your head. You couldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt,”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
“Look, I can’t do this,” she said shaking her head. “I can’t keep listening to the same apology and having the same conversation. The fact of the matter is good intentions or not we both made some mistakes but hashing over this again and again is draining me. You don’t trust me. There’s nothing left to say after that.” She turned to walk away and then heard him call out to her.
“I wanted to die,” She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as he continued, “A part of me died that night Luthor gloated about your death. I can still smell the blood on that blade.” She bit her lower-lip, unable to move as he continued his monologue. “I spent months wishing and hoping for a way to end everything because I didn’t know how to go on without you in my life. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of making Luthor pay for what he did.”
She turned back to face him, unable to form the words that were trapped in her throat. Fragmented memories flooded through her mind as she stared back at him, frozen in place as he continued. “It was a trap,” He took another step toward her. “I got a call from Luthor’s secretary asking for a meeting with Superman. I never should have gone. I never should have even entertained the thought but I did and here we are.” He took another step toward her, “I can keep going if you want or we can go somewhere else. It’s up to you,”
“You don’t have to,” she began cautiously, unsure if she wanted to go down this path.
“Yes, I do,” he said, taking a deep breath. “After everything you deserve the truth. He placed his palm against her cheek and whispered “I trust you more than anyone, Lois,”
Lois twisted her mouth uncertain how to respond. After months of waiting for some kind of explanation as to how he’d ended up in that hell hole of Lex Luthor’s here he was offering it to her on a sliver platter. After the emotional afternoon she’d spent with her mother and sister and having the news of the Daily Planet’s return announced she knew she was in no condition to deal with whatever horrific details he was about to share in front of a group of strangers. She swallowed hard, “I’ll call a cab,”
***
Clark took a seat across from Lois, looking around the empty meeting room at the hotel she was staying at. He glanced across the table at Lois, trying to find the words to begin the confession that he knew was his last hope at salvaging what was left of his relationship with Lois. He set his hands on the table, staring at the wood grain as if it would give him the answers he was searching for. He felt Lois reach her hand across the table and squeeze his hand in hers.
“I heard about the rescue earlier,” she offered, breaking the silence.
“I figured it was a good time to announce Superman’s return,” he looked up, meeting her gaze.
“How’d the press conference go?” she asked.
“As good as can be expected,” he shrugged. “Trying to explain Superman’s absence as being needed to help someone in need and keep it vague.”
“Probably for the best,” she agreed. “And you’re okay with the return?”
“I think so,” he said.
“Good,” Lois nodded as her eyes drifted around the empty room.
“This isn’t easy for either of us, is it?” Clark asked, following her gaze.
“No,” she said with a deep sigh.
“If this is too much I can stop,” he offered, meeting her uncertain expression.
“No,” she shook her head. “I’m fine,” She tightened her grip on his hand. “You said Mrs. Cox left a message for Superman?”
“Yeah,” he glanced down at her hand, clinging to his as he spoke. The moment the words were out there would be no going back. There would be no protecting her from the ugly truth of what he endured. Maybe that was the point. He took a deep breath and pressed on. “It was a trap and I was too arrogant to think Luthor could get his hands on Kryptonite. I thought since I destroyed it in Smallville it was gone…”
“During your fight with Trask?” Lois asked.
“Yeah,” he felt her hand tighten around his and clung to the sensation of having her this close to him. He’d spent the last two weeks going over every second and every moment wondering if he’d ever get this chance again. He couldn’t blow it again. He’d already screwed things up so royally he knew everything depended on how this conversation went.
“I think he either got the sample that was sent to the lab for testing or he tracked more of it down somehow,” Clark explained. He was silent for a long moment before continuing. “He had a steel cage in his wine cellar. He painted the entire thing in that poison.”
Lois bit her lower lip and he looked back up at her with a pained expression. “I’ve been shot before, stabbed, burned….all of it, but nothing and I mean nothing comes close to the pain that comes with that rock. It literally feels like your insides are melting and your bones are being crushed under the agonizing radiation from that poison.”
He looked up and saw tears in her eyes and she let out a soft whimper, “If I knew that rock was real I never would have printed that story.”
“That was not your fault, Lois,” he squeezed her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles, “I was just as responsible for that article being printed.” He looked at her with a questioning gaze, “Do you want me to stop?”
She shook her head, moving her chair closer so she was sitting next to him. “No, I’m okay,”
“I tried to escape…and I almost did,” he frowned, recalling the painful panic that had filled him when he realized Luthor had discovered him. The image of the bloody knife that Luthor had threatened him with.
“It’s okay,” she placed a hand on his chest.
“I spent months thinking you were dead because of that animal. I thought it was just empty threats he’d built up to get inside my head. I never realized how real those threats were until I saw what he did to you.” He let out a hoarse whisper.
“But he didn’t,” she reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m right here,” she tightened her grasp on his hand he could swear he saw tears falling down her cheeks.
“That bloody blade he swore he killed you with…He probably would have killed me with had whoever was at the door not shown up when they did.” He let out a shaky breath, “It was my own fault. I’m the one that told him. At that point I was delirious and couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t.”
“A part of me died in that cell. When I realized…or
thought you had died….that he had killed you I lost it.” He let the hard truth escape his lips and looked over at her shamefully, “I let you down. I promised if you called I’d be there and because of one dumb decision I broke that promise. I’m sorry,”
She looked back at him with tears in her eyes and reached her hand up to stroke his cheek, “Don’t you dare blame yourself for what that monster did,” He let out a slow breath, leaning his forehead against hers. Her hand brushed against the side of his face, tracing his jaw before she leaned into him, pressing her lips to his ever so slightly. The simple touch of her lips against his was enough to rock him to the core. He let out a low moan as she leaned further into him, deepening the kiss.
“I love you, Lois,” he whispered against her lips.
“I love you too,” she murmured against his lips.
***
“I love you, Lois,” he whispered against her lips, slowly breaking off the kiss.
She could feel a flutter inside her abdomen as she looked back at him, feeling the weight of the world lift off of her as she stared into his dark brown eyes. She felt a nagging in the back of her mind, reminding her that he still had Lex’s twisted version of things in his head. If there was any chance of salvaging her relationship with Clark then she needed to tell him what happened to her. He’d trusted her enough to open up about his capture. He deserved to hear the truth from her.
“I love you too,” she murmured against his lips slowly pulling away.
A look of relief washed over his face, “You do?”
She nodded, taking a moment to collect her thoughts as she mentally prepared herself to divulge the truth she’d buried for so long. “I know that wasn’t easy,”
“I do trust you, Lois,” he said placing his hand on her cheek. “I wish I could take back the things I said.”
“I’m just going to need time,” she said slowly. “I can’t just snap my fingers and make it all go away,”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. “So where do we go from here?”
“Rip the band aid off and take the first step forward,” she said cautiously. She swallowed hard as she prepared to do just that, “I’m not good at this. A part of me wants to just hide under a rock and pretend the last few months never happened. But I can’t do that because then …” she felt her voice tremble and clamped her eyes closed as she fought back the tears glistening in her eyes. “I know that wasn’t easy and that’s why I know you’ll understand when I say this isn’t easy for me. But the only way to move forward is to talk about it.”
“Lois, you don’t have to…” he began to argue.
She cut him off and shook her head, “Yes, I do.” She took a deep breath, preparing herself mentally to divulge the painful truth to him. “I wanted to call off the wedding,” she said, hearing her voice tremble beneath the strain she felt from holding her tears in. “I got called just about every name in the book when he figured out he couldn’t convince me to change my mind.”
Clark didn’t say anything. He sat there with his arm around her shoulders, holding her close as she continued her tale of shame. “I was beaten, choked and threatened with the barrel of his gun to my throat while he sat there taunting me. He forced me to scream for help and in the back of my head I knew he’d done something…awful to be so certain that you wouldn’t show up.”
Clark let out a shallow breath but still didn’t say anything, choosing instead to lace his fingers with hers as she continued. “I fought him with everything I had in me, but I wasn’t…” A single tear escaped her eye and she felt it run down her cheek.
“It’s okay,” he whispered in her ear, “You don’t have to…”
“I thought I was going to die. He was sitting there gloating about everything he’d taken from me and I knew there was no way he was going to let me go.” She whimpered out a quiet sob and a shuddered breath as his arm tightened around her. “I tried everything. All the Tae Kwon Do. The martial arts and self-defense classes were worth nothing when you had a gun pressed against you. That was when he taunted me, asking me how it felt to be so close to discovering the boss of Metropolis and failing.”
She tightened her hand into a fist, “And then he sliced my dress off with that knife and stabbed me.” She felt the tears begin to fall at their own accord, “That’s the scar. The reminder everyday of what an incredibly bad judge of character I am and how close I came to dying.” She let out disgusted grunt, “If Perry hadn’t convinced Bill Henderson to check on me I probably would have ended up dead and probably raped.” The last word escaped her throat with a sob and she added, “He threatened it enough I’m pretty sure he would have done it.”
A comfortable silence fell between them as she leaned her head into his shoulder. One by one tears began to fall out of the corner of her eyes. It was out. The ugly truths they both had been harboring. No more hiding. His arm wrapped snugly around her and he pressed his lips to her temple.
“Thank God for Perry,” he whispered.
“And Jimmy,” she said looking up at him. “He hacked into LexCorp’s security system and kept anyone from finding out I was in there rescuing you.”
“And Jimmy,” he agreed tightening his arm around her waist. There was a long pause as she contemplated what was left to say or do at this point. Clark cleared his throat and asked, “You want to get out of here?”
***
The moonlit sky reflected off the clouds as Clark floated himself and Lois into the night sky. He looked up, smiling at the diamond lit sky that surrounded them. He kept his arms wrapped snuggly around her as a burst of cold wind billowed past them, moving the clouds below. Lois leaned in closer to him and he tucked the red fabric of his cape around her, acting as protection from the harsh winds.
“Thanks,” Lois beamed back at him, looking around the moonlit sky that was close enough to touch. He smiled to himself as he watched her take in the wonder of it for the first time, “This is…incredible,” She looked down at the clouds that continued to drift back and forth from the wind.
He could see the pointed tip of the Burj al Arab in Dubai several feet below. “We’re just above Dubai,” he pointed to the famous hotel below.
“It’s beautiful,” Lois commented, looking back up at him.
“When I first learned how to fly…really fly I discovered if I stayed above the clouds here I could stay hidden and watch the city below. It had a calming effect. Drifting over the city and watching it from a view no one else had.” He explained.
“Sounds like an interesting way to travel,” she grinned back at him.
“I did go down there eventually,” Clark countered. “But there was always something so thrilling about being able to just drift up here and take in the world.”
“It’s breathtaking,” Lois smiled back at him.
“It is,” he smiled, running a hand across her cheek. “I spent a lot of my life hiding up here, constantly moving afraid I was going to be found out.”
“What changed?” Lois asked, covering his hand with hers.
“I met you,” he whispered back solemnly. “I met you and I found a way to keep helping people without risking discovery. I couldn’t have done any of this without you, Lois,”
“You would have found a way,” she responded cautiously.
“I wouldn’t have
wanted to,” he whispered, looking back at her. “I wanted to give up so many times. Every time I thought I couldn’t go any further you were there charging in making me want to try again. You’ve saved me from myself too many times to count. Superman and Clark Kent.”
She smiled back at him, linking her arms around his neck, “So what you’re saying is I’m top banana in this partnership?”
He grinned back at her, wiggling his eyebrows at her, “Yeah, from what I recall you prefer it that way,” Lois shot him a look and he laughed.
“You’re out of your league,” she laughed, repeating the line she’d thrown him on their first assignment together.
“I know I am,” he smiled back at her confidently. “But I’m up to the challenge,”
“We’re taking things slow this time,” she said, leaning in closer.
“I can do slow,” he agreed.
“No drinking any type of liquor for at least…another month,” she added as a crimson red flushed across her cheeks. “We obviously can’t be trusted to make good decisions when drunk,”
“Kryptonite is the only thing that’s going to make liquor affect me,” he reminded her. “And I would never take advantage of you,”
“No liquor,” she repeated.
“No drinking,” he amended, cupping her cheek. “You can’t drink with the pain medicine you’re on anyway,”
“No more secrets,” she said slowly, leaning closer.
“You know all of mine,” he whispered, leaning closer to her. “Now are you done making up rules?” He pointed his head toward the city below. “There’s a really great curry down there I want you to try…”
She leaned into him, capturing his mouth in a soul-crushing kiss. He let out a low moan, cupping her cheek as he traced the frame of her face and buried his hands in her hair. “Take things slow. No …repeats of getting drunk. No more secrets.” She repeated pulling away from him.
“I have one, no kissing while flying,” he added, looking down at the loss of altitude that had occurred when she’d been kissing him. “It’s
way too distracting.”
“I don’t like that rule,” she challenged, leaning in to kiss him again.
***
TBC…
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