***
Brutal Youth: Lois Lane
***
“If anything happens to either one of them, you don’t have to worry about getting any older.”
The threat was cold and harsh, and Lois had never meant anything more. Whatever was going on here endangered two of the most important people in her life.
Jimmy, who was so young--even in this aged body, he was still young, barely more than a kid--and Lois couldn’t let anything bad happen to him. She’d never guessed, way back when he first started at the Planet, how deep he’d wriggle his way into her life. Always there with a smile and a joke and hours of research, some spark shining inside him that slipped into her heart and won over Perry’s abundant mentorship and blossomed under Clark’s friendly guidance.
No, Lois wasn’t sure exactly how or when it’d happened, but Jimmy had become integral to the Daily Planet, bound in the center of everything Lois thought of as home there. If something happened to him, Clark would never forgive himself and Perry would give up and Lois…Lois would never stop thinking of this moment, would never be able to accept that there wasn’t something she could have done to save him.
Him and Clark.
As much as Lois cared about Jimmy, she loved Clark with every cell of her body, every fiber of her soul, everything she was. She couldn’t lose him. Not now, when they’d only just been married. Not ever, because there was never going to be a day when she didn’t need him more than she needed a pulse.
And for the first time since Dr. Klein’s revelation, dropped so casually--and then passed along to Clark even more clumsily by herself--Lois thought that she was the lucky one. Clark would love her to the day she died, she knew that, no matter how young he looked or how many wrinkles she got. She would die surrounded by his love and his strong arms…and then he would have to live on alone. Without her.
It made her heart ache, to think of it--to think of what she would endure if he died in this horrible machine today.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he’d said, and when she realized he was telling the truth, she’d explained it. His stunned expression had hardly registered at the time, but now it was all she could see.
Because she was pretty sure her selfish worry about their future was why Clark didn’t hesitate to give away so much of his life force. If she hadn’t been so upset at the idea of him living longer than her, maybe he’d have tried to find another way to save Jimmy. Maybe he wouldn’t be letting decades--centuries?--of his life be drained and siphoned off.
And if he stepped off that platform aged and wizened? Lois would still love him with everything she was, but she didn’t think she was strong to live another lifetime after he was gone.
So she made threats with a cold heart, because she couldn’t imagine a world without Jimmy’s eagerness and Clark’s steadfastness.
She couldn’t imagine being all alone.
***
***
The People vs. Lois Lane: Clark Kent
***
No. This can’t be happening. The judge has barely opened his mouth and Clark is already cringing. The look in the man’s eyes, the smell of his sweat, the way the paper is crinkling in his damp hands…it paints a terrible picture.
When he was a kid and his powers kept developing, new ones showing up with no warning and familiar ones growing stronger and more overwhelming, Clark had wished upon every star his sharpening eyes could see--wished that it would just stop. He’d wake up every day praying that he wouldn’t be surprised with a new ability, that there wouldn’t be something else to set him apart.
But now, no new superpowers having shown up in over a decade, Clark wants to take it all back, all those wishes and prayers and desperate denials. Instead of praying for powerlessness--which has, now, been ironically granted him in the worst possible way--he prays for a new power to spontaneously mature to fruition now. He wishes for the ability to change this verdict, to alter public perception, to go back in time and stop Lois from going to that meeting with Sykes by enfolding her in his arms and convincing her of better ways to bond than wallpapering.
But he’s only Superman, not a god, so there’s nothing he can do to prevent or undo the next moments.
“The people of Metropolis have found you guilty of murder in the first degree.”
Clark’s on his feet, straining forward, reaching out, heedless of the guards and the clamor of the audience, of anything but Lois’s shocked, disbelieving eyes.
And his dad’s hand on his shoulder. Calming. Soothing. Enough to stop him before he gives himself away.
He never wanted this for Lois.
He’s felt the rebuke of a people’s rejection, the shame of imagining what could have been done differently, the sting of absolute repudiation. When the Kryptonians found him guilty, it hurt, even though he didn’t love that people as much as he probably should have.
But Lois…she loves Metropolis. She has devoted her life to helping its people and correcting wrongs. She risks her life far too often for Clark’s comfort to uncover dangerous truths and expose corruption.
And now here they are, rejecting her. Condemning her.
He hates this. He hates that she has to hear this, feel this, experience this.
They’ll find a way out of this, he knows that--even now, his dad’s hand is all that’s keeping him from pushing everything aside and rescuing Lois from this awful moment, but his dad’s hand won’t be there forever--but he knows that she will never be able to forget this moment. It can never be taken back.
This is one thing he cannot save her from.
***
***
Dead Lois Walking: Perry White
***
“If there’s anything I can do…”
Your voice dies there. Your eyes fall to the floor. Your feet direct you away.
How can you possibly make such an offer? It’s no wonder you can’t even get it all out. You’re the reason that Lois is about to be executed, after all. You’re the one who has, however it came about, seen to the terror in Clark’s eyes and the betrayal Lois must surely be feeling right about now.
Which is definitely why you can’t look at Clark. Not when his forlorn position in the dark--here, far from the new home he should be making right now with his new wife--and hunched shoulders, his pain and his desperation…all of it gives away exactly how much damage you, or at least your image, have caused.
You can’t help. You can’t do anything. You can’t even convince anyone that you never set foot in that courthouse. If nothing stops this, you will always and forever be remembered as the man who sent Lois Lane to Death Row.
Shame sits heavy like a stone. Guilt chokes and envelops like the deepest part of a black lake. You’re drowning and hurting, but it’s nothing at all compared to what Lois must be feeling right now.
You’ve loved that girl since the beginning, when she came so intense and devoted and earnest into your office. You’ve watched her be hurt and grow strong walls and let Clark take those walls down brick by brick. You’ve seen her fall in love and become a great partner and grow into the best journalist you’ve ever seen. You were just at her wedding not too long ago, first officiating and then as a proud and happy witness.
She’s practically your daughter. You love her. But still everyone believes you swore to tell the truth, then immediately threw her under the bus. Everyone believes that you’ve stood at the helm of a paper hailed as a bastion of truth and then used your own words to tell lies as truth.
Well, almost everyone.
Clark doesn’t believe it. As soon as you came to him, desperate and disbelieving, with your story about not being able to remember anything, he nodded and patted your shoulder and waved it all off with an assurance that Lois would believe you’re innocent too.
The two that have been wronged the most. The two who are in the most trouble. The two who should actually hate you…they’re the ones who understand and forgive.
You can’t stand here and meet Clark’s desolate gaze and pretend you can do anything at all to help.
You can’t save them.
All you can do is destroy.
***
***
Bob And Carol And Lois And Clark: Jimmy Olsen
***
“Wait, I’ve seen how you and Lois do this…”
Of course he has. They do it all the time--look at all the facts and figures Jimmy spent hours compiling, look at each other, and then ricochet a volley of half-sentences back and forth before immediately leaving with only a word or two of explanation. It used to be pretty funny--he still thinks they have to practice sometimes--and then kind of baffling, but lately, Jimmy’s felt like he’s been on the verge of actually understanding what they’re talking about. Like maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could actually be more than he is now.
And he wants to be.
Perry’s been bringing up the possibility of retirement more and more often lately, Lois and CK are married now, and Jimmy thinks it’s time for him to move on too. Not as a gofer or a researcher, but as a photographer. A reporter. A newspaperman.
And better to do it now, while Perry’s still around to be proud of his efforts, while CK’s willing to help and Lois can give him a tip or two. Better to do it before they all move on with their lives and leave him behind like his parents did.
But as willing as he is, the revelation won’t come. There are lots of little similarities among the target group, he sees that sure enough, and Clark patiently waits while he pretends that he knows what he’s doing. Nothing else, though. Zip. Nada. Zilch.
No gut feeling. No spark of inspiration.
No nose for news.
He’s glad CK doesn’t rub it in. Glad he didn’t try to do this in front of Lois, or worse, Perry. He supposes it’s some small consolation that nothing jumped out at Clark either, but then, CK has a plan, leads to track down and a trail to follow. While Jimmy saw only dead ends.
Jimmy knows he can’t afford to keep failing like this, not if he wants to keep up with his friends. Not if he wants to remain relevant.
But CK smiles and claps him on the shoulder, and Jimmy suddenly doesn’t feel so bad. As scared as he is of the future, he’s happy right now. Content.
This is the best his life has been…ever.
So maybe it’s all right that he’s not quite ready yet. His friends will help him learn, and who knows? Maybe this time, no one will end up leaving him behind at all.
***
***
Ghosts: Clark Kent
***
“I live for normal,” he said, “thrive on routine, and ‘dull’ isn’t even in my vocabulary when I’m with you.”
Lois smiled as if he were joking.
He wasn’t.
They were in their home (a mishmash of his things and her things and things they’ve bought together; a perfect blend). Dinner was nearly ready, just for the two of them. They’d finished a story today and it had received Perry’s stamp of approval early enough that he and Lois could have a rare evening at home. Even better, the city was quiet, sleepy, giving Superman the night off (though he knew Lois would let him go if needed, as she always did, a fact he didn’t want to ever take for granted).
In short, this was exactly what he’d dreamed of for years. The mundane, the ordinary--he knew it chafed on most people. Even Lois (especially Lois) wanted excitement and adventure and spontaneity.
Clark just wanted the chance, occasionally, to be Clark.
While all his high school friends were making big plans to move to big cities and make names for themselves, Clark had wondered if there was a future for him that involved quiet evenings at home, his powers completely known, his dual nature completely accepted. In college, beneath the chatter of all the big dreams thrown around, Clark had longed for one person to know him, for a job and bills to pay and leaky plumbing and burned dinners.
Meeting Lois had adjusted his plans a bit. Lois Lane wasn’t the kind of person, he’d thought, who sat at home or watched TV or knew how to wallpaper. But as he’d gotten to know her, as she’d begun to let herself love him (something that still occasionally took him by surprise), he’d realized that he didn’t mind the drama and weirdness of their lives. A realization that came to him at the same time as Lois admitted that she did want the occasional night in, the quiet hours when it was just them, cocooned in the world for two created by their love.
But he let Lois chuckle and shake her head at him because as much as she loved him, he wasn’t sure she’d ever understand just how much he really did love the small moments like this.
He didn’t think he wanted her to be able to understand, not if it would drain even the smallest bit of her vitality. Her vibrancy. Her passion.
Clark smiled back at Lois, decided not to mention that the meat smelled a bit past well done, and savored his new normal.
***
