Weeks passed and Clark fell into a new routine. Despite the fact that he was still a prisoner, he got comfortable in his apartment. For the first time in his life, he was making – albeit, limited – decisions on his own, without the fear of retribution. No one grew angry with him if he chose to sleep in. No one cursed at him if he chose to do nothing but read all day long. No one threatened him with death if he didn’t comply with their wishes.
He was almost happy.
He would have been happy, if he’d been allowed to go up to the surface and spend even just a few minutes in the sunlight. His missing powers aside, he needed a change of scenery and to pretend, just for a minute, that he was completely free. But that was denied him, no matter how many times he pleaded for it.
Lois visited him often, typically in the evenings, after work – or so Clark assumed, since she never outright said so. He looked forward to those visits, more than he wanted to admit. It was odd, how much of a tentative near-friendship had sprung up between them. Clark wasn’t delusional. He knew she would probably never fully trust or even like him, not after the things he’d done. But he couldn’t help liking her anyway. No, liking wasn’t a strong enough word.
But what was this new feeling inside of him?
Lust, the voice of Lex sneered at him. Simple lust, nothing more.
He shook his head against the ghost of his “brother’s” voice. He’d known lust for a long time. Locked up in Lex Tower, he’d had no shortage of adult content on the premium stations. He was no stranger to lusting after and fantasizing about those women in the videos. His feelings for Lois were nothing like those feelings had ever been. Not even close.
So, then, what was he feeling?
Infatuation? his mind wondered.
But that didn’t quite fit either. His feelings for Lois were more than just desiring her body. He wanted more than just meaningless sex with her. He craved more. What he’d mistaken for primal lust in the beginning was more than just the fantasy of physical intimacy with her. His dreams and daydreams often centered around building a life with her. Living with her. Cooking meals with her. Sharing stories about their day. Settling down in front of the television to watch a movie with her. Taking long, aimless evening walks with her through the park. Slipping into bed alongside her as the stars came out to play – even when they didn’t wind up making love. In short, all the things he’d ever heard tale of loving, married couples doing together.
Married couples are in love though, he sighed to himself.
It was as if his mind threw on the emergency brakes. All his thoughts came to a screeching halt. He was pretty sure actual sparks were involved, like a train suddenly stopping short on its tracks.
Love? he tentatively wondered.
No, it couldn’t be. He was a hardened killer. He wasn’t meant for love…was he?
Love, his mind confirmed with dawning realization and sudden confidence.
Is this what love is like? His eyes widened as he turned this new notion over in his mind. I would do anything for her. I want her…more than anything I’ve ever desired in my whole life. More than I want revenge on Lex for keeping me collared. More than I want revenge on Bruce for becoming my new jailor. I want her more than I’ve ever even wanted my freedom. I don’t want her for a day or a week or a year. I want to be with her forever. I want to give myself to her in every way, to submit to her needs and desires, to support her when she needs it, to give her the entire world. I want to build a life with her. I would do everything and anything to make her happy.
He paused for a moment, staggered by the weight of his internal confessions. His hand flew up to his head in surprise and his fingers raked through his hair as he tried to process everything he was allowing himself to admit to for the very first time. His heart was hammering in his chest and he felt almost queasy, but in a good way. He was terrified by these new feelings and what they could mean for him. A part of him wished he could just turn off his emotions for a little while, so he could deal with them little by little. But the excited butterflies in his stomach would not be calmed and he was forced to make sense of his feelings right then and there.
Huh, he thought as he mulled over what his heart had just admitted. I guess…it is love after all.
A tentative smile crossed his lips and grew into a grin as he made peace with the new knowledge he held in his heart.
I’m in love with Lois Lane.
What he wouldn’t have done to ensure that his hidden desires came true. He would have given anything to have a normal life and a real chance to make a fresh start. He would have done everything in his power to prove to Lois that he was someone worth getting to know. Maybe then he would have a real chance to bring his new dream of being with her come true.
But those were just fantasies. They weren’t grounded in real life. Even if Bruce made good on his promise to try and help Clark escape legal repercussions for all the lives he’d taken at Lex’s command, he stood no real chance with Lois. He’d killed her family, and she knew it. He’d crossed a line he’d never even known was there when he’d done Lex’s bidding, and there was no going back from that, ever. And it broke his heart to know that he’d destroyed his chance with her forever, before he’d even met her. Had he but known how much he would come to love this woman, he would have stood up to Lex, refused to make the kill, and happily suffered the consequences.
He would have to content himself to simply being her friend. Or…almost friend. Or…he paused for a moment, wondering what exactly he was to her. Did she consider him a friend? Would she ever? He certainly thought of her as his friend…his only friend. Could she ever see past all the crimes and bloodshed he’d committed, and see his heart? Would it even matter, in the long run?
He decided to broach the subject one night when she came to visit. By now, he knew exactly how she took her coffee, and he prepared her mug before she could even let herself into his apartment. She raised her eyebrows in surprise as he left the kitchen and brought both his mug and hers to the table. She sat down after placing a brown paper bag on the table. Clark set her mug before her, noting how limp and wet her hair was.
“Raining?” he asked as he took a seat.
Instinctively, she reached up to her damp hair. “Oh…no. Snow.”
Clark nodded thoughtfully. “Has it started to stick to the ground yet?”
“Just a dusting, but yeah. They’re calling for two to three inches by morning.”
Clark smiled to himself, recalling memories of watching the snow fall. “I wish I could see that,” he murmured softly, more to himself than to Lois. “I miss it.”
“Why? All it does is…mess up traffic, make the sidewalks treacherous, even shut down the city on occasion,” Lois grumbled.
“Well…yeah,” Clark had to allow. “But it’s also just so peaceful. Did you ever notice how, even in the city, the sounds are muted when the snow is falling? How much brighter the lights seem? How clean and pure everything looks, coated in fresh snow?”
“Until the plows come and turn it into piles of black slush so high you have to practically jump over them to get onto or off of the sidewalks,” Lois pointed out sourly.
Clark ignored the jab. “Everyone gets cozy indoors. Hot chocolate tastes better than ever before. It’s nice. It even smells good. The sharpness of the cold. The crispness of the wind. It’s…intoxicating, in a way that’s different from, say, a sunny fall day or a dry, hot summer day.” He shrugged when he caught sight of the incredulous way she was looking at him. “I…uh…super sense of smell,” he hastily explained. He turned his attention to the bag on the table. “So…what’d you bring with you?”
Lois gave him a playful look. “I thought you just said you have a super nose,” she teased.
Clark chuckled. “Well…I do. When my powers are functional.”
She laughed a little too, the sound as angelic and beautiful as all the choirs of angels in Heaven. She pushed the bag toward him. “Chocolate croissants. Go on, have one.”
Clark reached for the bag, opened it, then extracted the two croissants. He placed one on the plate before Lois before serving the other one to himself. “Thank you,” he said sincerely.
She smiled slightly. “You’re welcome.” She tore a dainty piece from her croissant and ate it. Then she took a sip of her coffee. She set it back down in surprise, looking at Clark. “This is perfect! How did you…?”
“How did I know how to make it?” he finished for her. “Simple. I watched you make it before, when you’ve visited. I…” He blushed a little. “I have kind of a photographic memory. Once I see something it’s not easy for me to forget it. Kind of a blessing and a curse, all rolled into one.”
“Well…thanks,” she replied a little uncertainly at his confession. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve been frequenting the same coffee places for years now and they still don’t get it right. I’ve had to resort to telling them not to add anything, that I’ll do it myself. But you? You see me make my coffee…what? Half a dozen times? And you nail it?” She shook her head in amusement.
“Well, it’s what friends do, right?” Clark ventured. “Uh…I mean…we are friends, aren’t we? You keep visiting me and all and…well, I can’t speak for you but…I consider you a friend. My only friend, to be honest.”
“Bruce is your friend,” Lois said carefully.
Clark shook his head. “I’m…not sure about that.”
“He is. It might not seem like it at times but…trust me. He’s on your side,” Lois pressed.
“Either way…what about us?” Clark asked again, shoving aside the matter of Bruce.
Lois sighed noisily as she thought. “I’m not sure,” she finally confessed. “I’ve seen this whole new side of you. But…”
“But I ruined my chance to befriend you when I kil…completed the mission Lex sent me on,” Clark supplied with a heavy heart. He looked down at the table, unable to meet the hurt in her gaze.
She swallowed hard, her eyes misting over slightly as she looked away to study the wall. “I wish I could forget that,” Lois replied in a barely audible whisper. “It would make things so much easier.”
“I don’t blame you for holding a grudge against me,” Clark gently said in support.
“That’s the thing!” Lois said with sudden animation in her voice. She slapped her palms down on the table and jumped up out of her chair, like the piece of furniture had bitten her. She began to pace in front of the small table, shaking her head in the process. “I’m not sure if I do or not! You’re the one who actually went out there and caused the car accident. But you only did what you were ordered to, under the threat of death. Should you have stood up to Lex and not killed my family? Absolutely! And yet…I can’t say I would have had the guts to do that, if I’d been in your shoes.”
She sighed again, this time in frustration. She halted her pacing and looked him square in the eyes. “I hated you, when you first admitted that you killed my family. But once I learned your story, about how Lex manipulated you and threatened you…I came to pity you. Now? Now I see this new side of you. My heart hurts for what you stole from me, but it also aches for what Lex put you through, emotional, physically, psychologically. And I see this…this eagerness in you to get as far away from your old life as you can and…I can admire that.”
“Thank you,” Clark said modestly, tamping down a blush, his words gossamer thin and soft. He dipped his head in acknowledgement.
“You’re the kind of person I might have become fast friends with, under different circumstances.”
“So…that’s a no?” Clark asked, hiding how crushed he was.
“No.” She shook her head, sat back down, and took a sip of her coffee. “It means…I’ve had to work a lot harder to get to a point where I can feel like I can trust you.”
“You…trust me?” Clark sputtered, blinking in disbelief.
“Not the old you, who tried to kill Bruce,” she said, wagging a warning finger at him. “But this new you? The one who’s admitted his faults and who isn’t recognizable as the man I met six months ago? Yes. And, weirdly enough, we do seem to…connect, don’t we?”
“I like to think so,” he confessed, swallowing hard around the nervous lump in his throat.
“I guess…I guess we really are friends then, huh?” she mused.
“I guess so,” Clark replied cautiously. He grinned happily. “Friends.”
***
“Clark! Clark! Get up! We need to move!”
Clark was torn from the pleasant dream he’d been having – about walking on a beach in broad daylight, Lois by his side, holding his hand, looking at him with love in her eyes. Regretfully, he cracked his eyes open, and then, only because of how urgent Lois’ voice sounded. With a yawn, he sat up, instinctively facing the door.
“Huh?” he mumbled, still half asleep.
“It’s Lex. We think he knows you’re here,” Lois explained breathlessly, as she opened the lock to his door.
That snapped him fully awake. “What?”
“We know he’s had people out for a while, looking for you,” she elaborated, as the lock gave way and she opened the door. “Bruce has done his best to keep Lex’s eyes elsewhere, but either he’s not being fooled anymore or he’s gotten lucky. Word is, he’s going to check the underground bunkers for you. We need to get you out of here, fast.”
Clark swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. “No offense, but I would think Bruce would be handling this, not you.”
“He’s waiting for us at his private jet. He didn’t want to draw more attention to this place by coming down to get you. So come on. Get dressed and let’s move.”
“Great,” Clark mumbled irritably. “Should I pack anything?”
“Bruce has everything all taken care of,” Lois replied, ignoring his sarcasm. “Hurry.”
“What’s it like out?” he asked conversationally as he went to his closet.
“Cold. So bundle up,” Lois replied, turning her back to him.
“Bruce didn’t exactly stock my closet with a coat and hat,” Clark teased back as he grabbed a thick black sweatshirt and a matching pair of sweatpants. He draped them over his left arm, then grabbed some socks and a fresh pair of underwear.
“Don’t worry. There’s stuff waiting for you by the elevator,” Lois replied as Clark crossed the room to change in the bathroom.
“Okay, just give me a few minutes,” he answered as he gently shut the door.
Once inside, he splashed some water on his face in order to wake himself up further, then he used the toilet and changed his clothing as swiftly as he could. Less than three minutes later, he emerged, ready to follow Lois. But he hesitated for a moment before he could bring himself to leave. He simply stood in the middle of his apartment, taking one last, long look around the place. It seemed surreal that he was leaving, after all those long moments of living underground. Had he even had his apartment for a month yet, he wondered. He shook his head, clearing his mind. What did it matter? Lex might know he was here, and that was the most important thing. He had to get out of there, to safety. Without his powers, he wasn’t sure he was ready to take on his “brother” just yet. He probably could, he reasoned. He’d fought and killed some of his targets without using his abilities. But he’d been invulnerable back then. If Lex had a knife or gun, it could be disastrous for Clark. For everyone else too, he suddenly realized. Lex would kill everyone and anyone he suspected of harboring Clark in secret all these months.
Including Lois, he thought with a shudder. I can’t let that happen.
“You okay?” Lois asked in a gentle, concerned tone as she tugged on his arm to get him to start moving.
“I…yeah,” he lied. “You’re right. We need to get going.”
Lois nodded once, then lead him out of his apartment and through a complex series of corridors until they reached an elevator bank. There, armed guards stood waiting for them. Lois gestured to a heap of clothing on the floor. Clark immediately went to investigate it.
“That should all fit you,” she explained. “Put it on, now, before we get to the surface. And make sure to cover up your face as much as possible,” she instructed.
Clark did as he was told. While Lois called the elevator with the button, he slipped the olive green, puffy winter coat on and zipped it up. It was a bit snug on him, but it would suffice. A black wool hat was next; Clark pulled it as far down on his head as he could. Then he wound the matching scarf around his neck and up over his nose and mouth, so that only his eyes could be seen. The elevator door opened before he could pull on his black leather gloves, so he did that once he and Lois were on their way up to the surface.
In the meanwhile, Lois had donned a long gray coat of her own, ear muffs, a hat with a faux fur trim, and gloves that looked very much like Clark’s. Her own scarf hung loosely around her throat, giving her a natural, casual appearance. She turned to Clark after pressing the elevator button they needed and gave him a once over with her eyes.
“Not bad. You’ll look just like half the miserable commuters in the city,” she declared approvingly.
“Really? I don’t look…conspicuous?” he asked, feeling very self-conscious.
“You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. The good news is, it’s still early enough that most people are still asleep. Hopefully that includes Lex’s henchmen.”
Clark snorted a laugh. “You don’t know Lex that well. If he thinks he’s close to his goal, he’ll have his thugs out day and night looking for me.”
“Then we’d better keep a low profile,” Lois said with a wry smile. “And it’s probably better if you don’t speak at all when we’re topside.” She paused, thinking. “I think maybe we shouldn’t be seen together either. But…”
“But you don’t trust me not to run away on you, right?” He hated that the scarf muffled his words so that the full effect of his tone of voice was lost.
“Well…” Lois answered, drawing the word out a little longer than was necessary.
“I’m not going to run, Lois. You have my word,” he vowed.
“I’m not sure…” she stammered.
“What isn’t there to be sure of? That you can trust the word of an assassin?” he scoffed, hiding his hurt.
“What if you’re spotted?” Lois retorted.
“I can handle myself,” Clark said with more conviction than he felt. Then, softer, “Lois, look. I can’t risk you being hurt if Lex’s thugs do find me. I swear, I’ll meet up with you…wherever it is that you want me to. I know what it probably sounds like, but I know I’m not ready to face Lex. Not like this. Not without my powers. And I know you and Bruce need me to testify against him. I’m not interested in running away.”
He could read the indecision in her eyes as she studied him. Then, slowly, she nodded. “Okay. Maybe I’m crazy but…can you get to the private strip at the Metropolis airport?” she asked, digging through her purse. She handed him a slim stack of bills. “This should be enough for a cab. Stay out of crowded places. Don’t take the bus or the subway anywhere. Got it?”
“Your wish is my command,” he said with a stiff nod. He took the money and pocketed it.
“Good,” she replied as the elevator slowed, came to a stop, and the doors opened with a soft ding! “Don’t let me down, Clark.”
“Lois, I would rather die than disappoint the one friend I have in the entire world,” he said, his voice as grave as though he were swearing a solemn oath.
“Good luck,” she told him as they exited the elevator car. She turned to him and offered her hand.
“You too,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it through the material of his scarf. “I’ll see you soon.”
“You’d better,” she responded with warning wag of her finger. “Stay here for a few minutes. It’s better if we each leave this place alone.”
“Got it,” Clark agreed, looking around at the uncared for, deteriorating building around them. It seemed that the elevator had once been housed in a small, unmarked and unused, little building that was meant only for the elevators that would bring people down into the underground city.
He waited a solid ten minutes, then carefully checked his surroundings to the best of his abilities before slipping outside. Not wanting to stay so close to the entrance to the underground bunkers, he jogged a few blocks in no particular direction, just wanting to put some distance behind him. Finally, a good twelve blocks later, he stopped and took stock of where he was. Just one block up, he could see the globe on the Daily Planet building. That seemed as good a place to hail a cab as any, so he crossed the street and made a beeline for the newspaper building. Now that he was moving at a slower pace, he noticed that the first tinges of pink were lightening the sky overhear. Dawn was breaking over Metropolis. He stopped once he reached his destination and put his face up to the sky, wishing the healing sunlight was able to reach him. But the sun was still too low and he was far too bundled up against the chilling, below freezing temperature.
I’ve waited this long for my chance to recharge my powers, what’s another hour or two? he told himself.
A cab let two passengers out right in front of the Daily Planet, so Clark took the opportunity to snag his ride to the airport. The driver barely spoke two words to Clark during the trip; Clark chalked it up to the extreme cold and early hour of the morning. Whatever the reason, he was glad for it. He didn’t want to have to carry on a conversation. All he wanted was to get out of Metropolis. He tipped the driver well for his silence and his quick, but safe, drive to the airport. It had cost him most of Lois’ money, but he pocketed the rest with the intention to give her what remained. Then he made his way to where she and Bruce awaited him.
By then, the sun was a little higher in the sky, and Clark wondered how long it would be before he was fully recharged. He’d never spent so much time in between Kryptonite exposure and healing in the sun’s light. He sighed to himself as he walked, resigning himself to what would likely be a long wait. He remembered going a couple of days before his powers had returned after the first time Lex had subjected him to the deadly rock.
Probably won’t be myself for days, at the minimum, he thought to himself. Hopefully Bruce hasn’t figured out that sunlight is the key to restoring my abilities. If I can manage to stay out of another underground prison cell, maybe I’ll get my chance to get away after all.
***
Clark could see Lois impatiently looking around, checking her watch, and bouncing on the balls of her feet in anxious anticipation. He knew automatically that she was worried that he’d chosen to bolt, rather than honor his promise to meet her. She kept checking this way and that, sizing up the desolate private tarmac. Behind her, the small plane’s door was open and the stairway was down, inviting her to go inside. As Clark watched, Bruce emerged from inside the plane, speaking to Lois, though Clark couldn’t hear the exchange from where he was, even if the plane’s engines hadn’t been idling. The billionaire pointed to his watch and Lois shrugged helplessly.
A pang of guilt shot through Clark. He’d never meant for Lois to think he was incapable of sticking to his rendezvous with her. He stepped out from behind the corner of the building where he’d been hidden in shadow, and confidently began to cross the tarmac with long, self-assured strides. As he neared her, he could see the lines of worry leave Lois, leaving a trail of relief in their wake. She eagerly waved him over and Clark quickened his step in compliance.
“About time,” Lois said with only mocking sarcasm when he reached her side.
“Aww, miss me?” he replied, pulling down his scarf so she could hear him better. He batted his eyelashes seductively at her.
“What took you so long?” she prompted.
“How’d you get here so fast? Teleporter?” he lightly tossed back. Then he shrugged. “I told you I’d be here. I may be a killer, Lois, but I am a man of my word.”
She eyed him uncertainly for a moment, as if the reminder of his assassin’s career had jolted her into remembering what an awful person he’d once been. And he had to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t have said anything at all. But then, the clouds in her expression parted and she nodded briskly.
“Thank you,” she said instead of making some biting remark or another. “I…I don’t trust people easily…especially not ones in, well, your situation…so this means a lot, that you kept your word.”
“Come on, you two! Get on the plane already!” Bruce shouted as he mounted the steps back inside.
“I hate to say it, but…he’s right,” Clark acknowledged. He swept a hand toward the stairs. “Ladies first.”
Lois nodded once, then went up the steps into the plane. Clark lingered for a moment, appreciating the view of her as she climbed inside the aircraft. What he wouldn’t have done for her to see him in a romantic light! He might have been a skilled assassin, but her body and looks alone could kill. He groaned as he willed his body not to react to her. He had to do that often, he realized. Practically every time he saw her.
Once she was securely inside, he followed. The interior of the small plane was lavish and plush, but he’d expected nothing different, considering that it was Bruce’s private jet. Bruce was already seated and talking to an older man. Clark vaguely recognized the older gentleman as Alfred, Bruce’s butler. The two were having a heated, but hushed, discussion that Clark paid no mind to. He decided to sit in the seat across from Lois. It meant he’d be traveling backwards, but that didn’t bother him at all.
He slipped into his seat while she was buckling in. “Mind if I sit?” he asked as he sat.
“I think you already are,” she replied, softly teasing.
The door to the cabin was shut and the pilot made a quick announcement that they were about to take off, and to buckle their seat belts. Clark did as he was told and braced himself as the plane began to taxi down the runway. Lois noticed him tense up as the plane’s wheels left the tarmac and the aircraft angled into a steep incline. She sat forward and reached out, taking his hand.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, concern shimmering in her gentle brown eyes.
He gripped her hand a little firmer, careful not to harm her. “Yeah. I, uh, I guess I’m not used to flying this way. You know, with someone else at the controls, not under my own power.” He grinned, but it was a sickly, not at all at ease grin. “At least, not for a good ten or so years now. I guess I’d kind of forgotten with it feels like, to be seated inside a metal tube on takeoff.”
“Isn’t it scary, having nothing between you and…well…everything else, when you fly?” Lois wondered, her eyes searching his as though looking for the answers to all her questions.
He shook his head. “No,” he said in a confident, but quiet, voice. “It’s…” he shook his head again. “It’s the greatest feeling in all the world. I’ve never felt so free as I have darting amongst the clouds, racing the wind, seeing the world spread out and speeding by underneath me. It’s like…like I was born to be doing it. It’s as natural to me as breathing.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Lois said almost dreamily.
“It is. Maybe one day…I can…show you?” he ventured timidly, very aware that he was almost asking her on a date, in a way.
To his everlasting surprise, she nodded. “Maybe,” she replied in a non-committal way. But he could see the thinly veiled eagerness she harbored.
“It’s a date then,” he pressed, feeling a little bolder.
“I never said it’s a date,” she tossed back, rolling her eyes in a good-natured way.
“It’s a date,” he repeated, grinning impishly.
“I’m surprised Lex let you fly around at all,” Lois said a few minutes later, in a quiet, contemplative tone. “Seems risky.”
Clark sighed. “Once he had the collar on me, it was easy for him to track me. A headset let him order me around and a camera let him see what I was seeing. At the first sign of ‘disobedience,’ he could have any one of his satellites open the vents to expose the Kryptonite. I…never dared to disobey him, not with that kind of threat hanging over me. At least, not until I tried to save you that night.”
“So…have you ever been on a plane then?” Lois asked after another short silence.
“I used to fly on Lex’s private plane all the time,” Clark said as the ghosts of his memories passed before his waking eyes. “I was younger then. Blinder to what he was really doing to me. I didn’t gain the ability to fly until I was eighteen. By then, I’d been on Lex’s plane dozens of times. Never for pleasure. Always to make – or return from – a kill.” He looked away, ashamed.
“No wonder you hate being on this plane now,” Lois replied, her voice just barely breaking a whisper.
Clark nodded shallowly. “I’ve never once been on an airplane when I haven’t needed to kill someone. This…not knowing where we’re headed, not knowing what Bruce has planned…I’m not used to this.”
Lois squeezed his hand in support. “It’s okay. You’ll never need to kill again,” she vowed.
“What about you?” Clark asked, deflecting her promise. “You seem pretty at ease with flying.”
She shrugged. “I’ve had to do a bit of traveling with the Daily Planet, at least in my first couple of years with the paper, before Perry decided to keep me in Metropolis.”
“Let me guess,” Clark interrupted, waggling his eyebrows. “His decision was based on you demanding to be kept in the city or he’d lose his top reporter.”
Lois’ eyes widened and her brows shot up into her hairline. “How did you…?”
“It makes sense,” Clark explained. “Ever since Bruce started supplying me with the paper, you’ve almost always had the front-page article. You don’t get stories like that by bouncing around from place to place. And you don’t get the front-page unless you’re the best.”
She withdrew her hand as the plane reached its cruising altitude and leveled out. “Very astute,” she praised him. She crossed her arms. “I still think you’d make a decent reporter.”
“Maybe,” he allowed, sitting back into his seat as deeply into the seat cushions as was possible. He folded his hands behind his head and tilted his head toward the window and the small pool of sunlight it allowed in. He didn’t know what else to say, so he simply didn’t speak.
Luckily, Lois seemed to get the hint. She chose not to continue the conversation. Or perhaps she was just tired. In no time at all, she was dozing in her seat. Clark shut his eyes too, but found sleep elusive. He was too worked up and anxious over their unknown destination. For a little while, he floated in that gray realm between asleep and awake, before deciding to call it quits. He opened his eyes and looked around the cabin. Alfred had since left Bruce’s side, and was in the back fiddling with something. Clark saw the quick flash of an electric tea kettle. Bruce noticed he was awake and waved Clark over to the seat Alfred had been in earlier. Figuring that he might get some answers as to their whereabouts or destination, Clark unclipped his seatbelt and crossed the tiny cabin.
“Nice plane,” Clark commented conversationally as he sat down.
“You did a good thing today,” Bruce said, choosing to overlook the comment.
“What? Get on the plane? It’s not like I had much of a choice,” Clark said dismissively.
“Yes, you did. You could have run away,” Bruce pointed out, a little gruffly. “You could have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Who could stop you, if and when your powers return? Not even Lex Luthor can control you, not without that collar.” He paused and shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. “But, that isn’t exactly what I meant.”
“Oh?” Clark asked curiously, sitting back in his chair, a smug poise to his body.
“You kept your word to Lois.”
“I…” He sighed. “How could I not?”
“Maybe you don’t realize it, but that means the world to her. When she told me that she’d set you free in the city with nothing but a promise to meet up with us at the airport, I thought she was crazy. I understood why she’d done it – trying to keep a low profile and all – but I was furious that she’d let you go. I was sure we’d never see you again.”
“She mentioned that she doesn’t trust people easily,” Clark hedged, ill at ease with the conversation centering on what a good deed he’d done.
Bruce nodded. “Nor do I. You proved me wrong today, Clark. And I…I appreciate that, as much as Lois does.”
Clark looked over to where Lois slept and his heart throbbed with a longing to be worthy of her love. “I…” he stammered before clearing his throat and starting over. “The truth is, I couldn’t let her down.”
She’s…changed me, he thought to himself as his heart panged with both longing and a sense of almost hopelessness that she could ever love a monster like him. Because I love her.
“Love will do that to a man,” Bruce quietly said, his voice not much higher than a baby’s sigh. “It changes him. Even you.”
Clark was about to lie through his teeth and claim that Bruce was wrong about his feelings toward Lois, but stopped himself before the words could spill from his lips. What was the point in denying it?
Love, his mind echoed. Is it really that obvious? It must be, if even Bruce can see it.
It was as if a bolt of lightning stuck him, freezing him in place, leaving him unable to decide if he should be relieved or petrified that his feelings were so apparent. If Bruce could see the love he harbored in his heart, could Lois? Suddenly, he recalled an old fable he’d heard as a child, back before he’d been enslaved and forced to commit atrocities beyond counting. For the first time, he noticed the way the story seemed to parallel his own life.
And so the Beast came to love the Beauty.
“Maybe,” he grudgingly agreed.
Maybe? his mind snorted at him.
Then, before he could stop himself, he asked, “Hey Bruce? Can I ask you something? You know…man to man.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Do you think I can ever…be redeemed…for the things I’ve done?”
His voice trembled slightly and went whisper-soft. He looked out the plane’s windows, scanning the tops of the clouds, a simple pleasure he’d been denied for too long. But in that moment, he couldn’t even bring himself to miss his powers. He was solely fixated on the love he had for Lois. He forced himself to look back at Bruce, noting the contemplative expression on the other man’s face. It almost looked like Bruce was struggling to answer him, and Clark’s heart sank a little at that idea. If Bruce didn’t know how to answer him, what hope was there that Lois herself would be able to look past his former life of bloodshed? But he forced himself to continue with his question.
“Do you think I’ll ever be…worthy…of having a real life? Someone to love? A family?”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his snapped his jaw shut and looked away again, embarrassed and ashamed of himself.
I never should have said anything, he berated himself. It’s not like a deserve a second chance. It’s not like a deserve Lois’ love. I’ve ruined any chance I might have had with her when I killed her family. What am I thinking? I don’t even deserve her friendship, let alone her love.
“I can’t comment on how Lois might view you in the future,” Bruce replied diplomatically. “But I can say this – you’ve already started on the path to redemption.”
“Why doesn’t it feel like I have?” Clark wondered, but the question was directed more at himself than to Bruce.
Bruce folded his hands in his lap, relaxed. “Guilt does strange things to people. The world could call you a national hero for helping to bring down Lex Luthor, but, unless you come to terms with how little choice you had in helping him, you might never feel like the blood has been washed from your hands.”
“Because it never will be,” Clark insisted. “Slave to Lex or not, I’m still the one who went out killing people.” He shook his head sadly. “I can’t just make excuses for my actions.”
“Maybe not,” Bruce allowed. “But in accepting what was done and expressing remorse for it…you’re a different man than the braggart who flew to my house that night to kill me.”
“I…yeah,” Clark stuttered, blushing. “I guess I never apologized for that. I’m sorry about that. I wish…things hadn’t gone the way they did. I wish I’d never gone to your home when I was younger. I wish I’d never acted without checking my target. Maybe then your friend would still be alive. I wish I’d broken free of Lex’ control on my own, before I made a second attempt on your life. Although,” he said, unable to hide the slight mischievous grin that popped up on his face, “I guess, if I hadn’t tried to kill you twice, I never would have met Lois. So…maybe I owe you one after all.”
Bruce cracked the barest of smiles, though it seemed a bit tight. “You have an odd way of looking at the world,” he accused, but his tone wasn’t harsh. It was almost amused, but not fully.
Clark shrugged casually. “Oh, I’m completely warped. Comes with the territory of being raised by Lex.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, hoping to at least annoy Bruce a little bit.
Bruce looked like he was about to respond when Alfred interrupted them. The old man was carrying a tray with hot tea and coffee cake.
“Sir?” he asked as he approached.
“Good timing, Alfred,” Clark laughed. “You’ve spared our dear Brucie from needing to figure out how to respond to me.” He looked at Bruce, a devilish grin on his face. “You really ought to give the man a raise for that, Bruce.”
Bruce rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Alfred. How long before we land? I lost track of the time.”
“I believe we’re roughly an hour from beginning our descent,” the butler replied with obvious paternal affection.
“Good. And the rental car?”
“All set up and waiting,” was the old man’s answer.
“Perfect. Thank you.”
Alfred dipped his head in acknowledgement. “If you don’t mind, sir, I’ll be taking my own tea now.”
Bruce nodded once in return. “Go on. Make yourself comfortable.”
The other man shuffled back off to the rear of the plane, to the tiny kitchenette area, wobbling slightly as the jet hit a small pocket of turbulence. Bruce watched, concerned, until the plane evened out again. Then he turned back to Clark and poured two mugs of steaming hot tea.
“I have a question for you,” Bruce said as he poured in the creamer and added two spoonfuls of sugar.
“Shoot,” Clark encouraged, distracted by fixing his own drink.
“Let’s say I’m successful.”
“Why, Bruce,” Clark interrupted, teasingly. “I thought being a multibillionaire meant you are successful.”
Bruce frowned and continued. “Let’s say I’m successful,” he started anew. “And I’m able to ensure that you get immunity when you testify against Lex.”
“If I testify,” Clark correctly with a sharp lash of his tongue. “I haven’t agreed to do it yet.”
“Okay, fine. If you testify,” Bruce said, his voice hardening at Clark’s obstinance. “You’ll be free to do whatever you want. Have you given any idea to what that might be?”
Clark didn’t reply right away. Instead, he eyed Bruce up and down as he sipped his tea, trying to gauge where he was going with this. He certainly wasn’t asking out of curiosity – that much was painfully obvious from his stoic tone of voice. But he didn’t look like he was about to launch into one of his “fatherly lectures” as Clark had come to cynically dub them in his mind.
“I’m not sure,” Clark carefully said after a moment. “Lois thinks I’d make a good reporter.”
“Did she?” Bruce asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
You know something? If things had turned out differently, you might have made a decent reporter, she’d told him, when he’d used his powers of observation to correctly infer that his apartment had been in the fall-out shelter behind midtown Metropolis.
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, she did. But it’s a bit far down the road. I’m still not sure I want to take the stand, and, even if I do, there’s no guarantee I’ll be granted immunity. For all I know, I’ll be killed for my involvement with Lex’s crimes.”
“Journalism is a noble profession,” Bruce noted. “You could do a lot of good as a reporter. You talked about earning redemption. That might be a way to do it. Uncover evil and set it right through the power of investigation and your words.”
“Maybe. I’m not exactly much of a writer. I never really did much of it at Lex Tower. At least, nothing like what I’d have to do as a reporter. I’m not sure any editor would waste their time on me.”
“So, then you are interested in journalism?” Bruce asked neutrally.
Clark shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I could possibly be good at it. At the very least, I’d probably be able to use my powers to aid in an investigation. But I could also use them in other professions too. I don’t know. I’ve never had a choice in my career before. I’d rather not rush into the first suggestion someone tosses at me, even if it comes from someone I trust.” He glanced over at Lois for a brief second. “All of this assuming, of course, that I’d allowed to even have a future.” He gave Bruce a very pointed look over the rim of his mug.
“As I said, I’ll lobby as hard as I can to make sure that happens,” he replied blandly, not rising to Clark’s bait.
“When?” Clark asked, just the barest hint of a challenge in the word.
“As soon as Lois and I finish gathering all of the evidence we need against Lex Luthor,” Bruce answered, sweeping his hand, palm up, before him, as if gesturing to encompass the entire future. “We’re getting close, but we’re not quite there yet.”
“I see,” was all Clark would comment as he drank another sip of his tea. “A word of caution though. Lex has some of the best lawyers on the planet working for him. Make sure anything you find – or think¬ you’ve found – is well beyond iron-clad.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Bruce replied darkly.
To Be Continued…
