Clark hung up the phone with his folks, a sigh in his chest. Something felt off. He couldn't put his finger on it. It had been nearly two months since he and Lois had wed. Things should be perfect. He should be the epitome of wedded bliss.
He glanced over at Lois through the walls, reapplying pink lip gloss in the bathroom mirror while humming a tune. His heart clenched for a reason he couldn't name. His father had said that women change a little after marriage... But this was a lot of change. She was bubbly, and pink, and giggly, and--
"Penny for your thoughts."
She startled him. He swallowed thickly as he glanced up to find her draped casually against their bedroom door, batting her lashes at him demurely. He cleared his throat. "Nothing, honey. Just daydreaming, I guess."
"About me?" She brought a finger up to her lips and gave him a coy smile.
He smirked at her. "Always."
She grinned at him and started to undo the belt on her fluffy pink robe. His eyes were riveted to her hands as they made quick work of her enclosure. "That's my favorite sort of daydream. Do tell."
Clark swallowed as she dropped the robe, revealing her gorgeous pink nightgown, all silky and smooth and, God, was it hard to concentrate on his previous thoughts. She was so beautiful. She crossed the room to where he sat on the end of the bed, and sat in his lap.
"Clark," she said his name in a singsong voice, and he finally brought his eyes back up to hers.
"You're so beautiful."
"Mm, that makes two of us."
She giggled again, and he was briefly reminded of his earlier doubts. He stammered a little as he started talking. "And you're so... Happy."
She peppered kisses on his cheek, leaned in close against him. "How could I not be happy with you?"
Clark groaned. She was distracting him. She'd been doing this a lot lately. He had a half a thought and then she did something mind-blowing and he lost his whole thought process. He struggled to keep on track. "I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy. It's just... You seem too giddy. It's like you're a different person."
She paused and grinned at him. "You make me that happy."
"But Lois, it's all the time." Clark wasn't sure what he was complaining about now, but he had to at least try for answers. "At work, on a story--last week your father called and you didn't roll your eyes or complain once. It's..."
She didn't even frown at him, eyes wide, smile firmly in place. Like she didn't have any reason to be upset with her father, like it had never crossed her mind.
Come to think of it, she hadn't been cross with anybody the last two months. Not Perry for a lousy story that didn't pan out, not Jimmy for a mediocre picture, not him for... Well, not for anything. Clark frowned. Much as he loved Lois Lane, they got on like cats and dogs sometimes. Their roller coaster emotions almost kept them from getting married in the first place. It was almost like she was a Stepford wife.
He tried to focus on the implications as she began peppering his neck with kisses again. Was she brainwashed? What would the purpose be? It didn't make any sense. It would make more sense if this wasn't Lois Lane at all.
A croak sounded in the distance.
He grabbed her wrists to stop her as the thought took hold and gained steam. She looked up at him with wide eyes and a smile still on her face. "What's wrong, Clark?"
He shuddered. Uncanny. But still not right. "It's like you're not Lois."
Her eyes shuttered for a brief second before she smiled even brighter. His heart skipped a beat at the confirmation.
"Clark, why would you say something like that?"
The room started spinning around him, and he pushed her away from him gently so he could stand up. "You're not Lois. You're not Lois. Oh, God--"
"Clark, don't be ridiculous. It's me. I'm your wife."
He shook his head fervently.
"Okay, fine. Do you want to know the real reason I'm so happy?"
His eyes shot to hers again as she stood up, shock at her confession running through him. "What?"
Her hands drifted to her belly protectively, and a bout of nausea washed over him.
"I was planning on telling you over dinner. Congratulations, Superman. We're pregnant."
Clark shook his head again. "No. This is wrong."
"It's not wrong." Her smile was still affixed.
"You're lying."
Another croak sounded, this time from the bathroom. He whirled around. "Do you hear that?"
"Just the normal frog noises you hear in any old bathroom. Aren't you happy?"
Clark swallowed thickly. "No. No, this can't be happening. You're not my wife."
A frog hopped across their bedroom floor.
"Yes, I am." She stood up, her belly seemingly larger now. How had he not noticed it before?
"No, you're not my wife, and that's not my baby."
"It is. Half alien--"
"Half frog?" He challenged defiantly, chin jutting out.
"Honey, you are not a frog. You're from Krypton. Don't be so hard on yourself."
He started laughing, unable to stop. This was ridiculous. Of all the ridiculous plots he and Lois had lived through, this had to take the cake. His hands were shaking.
"Where is Lois? Where's my wife?"
"You never married Lois. That is your wife."
The gravelly transatlantic accent brought his hysteria back under control, and Clark whirled around to find Lex Luthor standing in their bedroom doorway. "Where is Lois?"
Lex grinned smugly. "She's mine now. Lois gave up on you as soon as she found out that you were having a half-clone half-alien baby with her knockoff. She said if you couldn't tell a difference, you must not love her."
"No..."
Lex laughed, the sound echoing through his brain before it was joined by a chorus of croaks and ribbets.
"No!"
Clark shot up out of bed, the dark at once suffocating and comforting. He shivered as the cool air brushed against his sweaty skin.
"Honey? You okay?"
He glanced over at his wife, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she struggled to sit upright. "I'm fine, you don't need to get up--"
"Well I'm up now, aren't I, wise guy?"
He huffed a laugh, and he was hit with a warm feeling in his stomach that left him reassured. "You're my Lois, all right."
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
He put a loving hand on her heavily protruding belly, and laughed at the giddiness that filled him. Parents. They'd be parents in about two weeks time. "It's just nice. To have you here, with me. With our little peanut on the way. You guys instantly relax me." He took a deep breath and let go of the nightmare that never was. Everything was perfect, as long as he had his Lois by his side.
It was a dream come true.
