Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Death in the City 2

Okay, it's a little emabarrasing to post two sections of a story and not get a single comment.
I know it's a TOGOM redo. I know I didn't put up a WHAM warning (it's a cliffhanger, not a WHAM) But come on!

Okay, my excuse is two-fold.

One, I still can't get on these boards with my normal PC, and so I'm relagated to my old iMac. It's not as comfortable working on a small table in the bedroom rather than my nice computer set up in the living room.

Also, I never start threads. I only jump on occassionally when I have something to say that everyone else hasn't said.

To the point. I like how you've set this up so far. I think that the fact that you haven't started to stray away from the actual episode yet has kept people from jumping on board with any comments. Most of the TOGoM rewrites start at where your instalment number three has left off.

I like the implication that there might have been some kryptonite in the club and that Clark is actually bleeding, but not much (part 3). The inclusion of Nigel is fun also.

But beyond that, there hasn't really been any divergence from the episode yet. I suspect once you get into part four, and start veering off the series episode the feedback will pick up as people will comment on the different direction that you may be taking, and the angst that we'll be able to see Lois under going.

Going good so far, looking forward to more.

Tank (who is always up for a good TOGoM based fic)

I agree with Tank, lack of feedback is probably because most of your story so far is a rendition of the TV episode, but I think that's about to change with Clark bleeding.

I've read all the 3 parts and am definitely looking forward to more..

That's what I wondered.

Clark's careful enough for the both of them. Funny.

Poor Jimmy. He's such a trooper.

You write very well, both dialogue and description. But sometimes it still feels like I'm just watching the episode. Play up the differences between your story and the show and it'll read even better.

(Oh, by the way, you don't need to include a WHAM warning when the original episode included a similar WHAM.)

Elisabeth