Sorry it took so long for me to update this series. I guess I was a bit lazy
Plus school has been rearing its ugly head, too.
Since it's been a while since I've updated this, I guess I should give a quick recap.
Basically, the premise of the series is that Clark experiences a psychotic break after donning the suit for the first time, becoming two people who inhabit the same body - Clark Kent and Superman.
Probably makes more sense if you read this series in order.
****
“The game starts at 9:00. Tonight. Right here. See you then,” Perry grinned at Clark as he walked away.
“Uh, game?” Clark asked.
“Poker. I bet you were a real monster around the tables back in Smallville.”
“Actually, I was never really good at poker, sir.”
“Oh, well that’s uh…even better,” Perry chuckled.
<Well, Superman, looks like we’re stuck here tonight.> Clark sighed to his companion.
<You don’t want to play poker with your co-workers?> Superman asked.
<Not really. I was never really much into poker.>
<Well, since you have to be here anyways, if you don’t want to play, why don’t I play for you? I’m starting to get a little bored in here, what with not being needed since the capture of the Barnes gang.> Superman suggested.
<Works for me. OK, the game’s pretty simple, here’s how you play…>
****
“I’m out.”
“I’m out.”
“$20.” Clark said, throwing a chip in. They had decided that Clark would remain in control of the body, but Superman would tell Clark what moves to make in the poker game.
“Too rich for my blood,” Lois remarked, putting down her cards.
”All right, let’s see, Clark, just to…make this interesting, I’m gonna to, uh, see your twenty, and I’m gonna raise you, uh, how much do you make here in a week?” Perry asked, the quivering in his voice belying his bravado.
The other players chuckled nervously, knowing that he would never be so foolish, given Kent’s apparent luck. Unknown to them, however, Superman was dictating every action to Clark, and he happened to be a naturally gifted poker player.
“Let’s just say, uh, $50,” Perry finished.
“You know who would be a great poker player? Superman,” Jimmy commented.
“Great, Jimmy. We’ll just invite him here next week,” Perry said, a bit sarcastically.
“I don’t even know if Superman gambles,” Lois added.
“But in his case, it isn’t gambling. He’s got x-ray vision. He can look at everyone’s cards,” Jimmy pressed.
<Funny he should say that. Since you’re in control right now, I actually *can’t* look at everyone’s cards. Besides, I wouldn’t do that anyways.> Superman said.
<Yeah, it wouldn’t be fair. You seem to be doing well enough as it is anyways.> Clark agreed.
<Let’s see, three jacks. The probability of winning with this hand is approximately [1 – [1/649000] – [1/72193.33] – [1/4164] – [1/694.16] – [1/508.8] – [1/254.8] – [3/47.32]], or about 92.9%, the amount lower than that depending on how well Perry choose which of his cards to exchange. Still, not bad. Go for it.> Superman said decisively.
“I’ll see your fifty and raise you…”
Thanks to Superman, Clark ended the poker game a bit wealthier than he had begun.
****
“Howdy, partner,” Clark said, grinning at Lois after Perry had forced her to partner with him, “What sounds better? Kent and Lane, or Lane and Kent? Kent and Lane…Lane and Kent…”
“Neither.” Lois stated evenly as she stopped in front of Clark.
“Lane and Kent, definitely,” Jimmy said from the background.
<Actually, traditionally the surnames are ordered by alphabet. So it would probably be Kent and Lane.> Superman said.
“Either way, it’ll never work,” Lois said flatly.
“It won’t be that bad,” Clark denied.
“It’ll be that bad! It’ll be *worse*. Let’s go, he wants to see us.”
Clark smiled as he chuckled at Lois’s discomfiture.
<Clark, I know you don’t really have a choice in this, but why are you taking this so calmly? You heard her yourself – she has no patience, understanding, or willingness to be supportive. But you’re acting as if you’re actually *looking forward* to being partnered with Lois!> Superman exclaimed in confusion.
<Oh come on, she’s not that bad!> Clark insisted, blushing.
<She is that bad! She’s *worse*!>
****
“Menken’s the promoter. We’d like to speak to the fighters, if that-“ Clark told Allie.
“I’m sorry Kent, but we can’t do-“
Allie stopped short as a towel was dropped onto Clark’s shoulder from the boxing ring behind him.
“You wanna talk to me? Okay, but you can’t learn anything from down there. Come on up. See what it feels like,” the fighter said challengingly.
Clark began to refuse, but Lois cut in, “Go on, Clark. Go on, get in there!”
“Uh, maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Allie warned.
“This is what we came here for! If you’re not gonna go out there, I will,” Lois threatened.
“Uh, ok ok,” Clark agreed hastily.
<Clark, you can’t get involved in a fight just because someone dared you to!> Superman protested.
<Well, if I don’t go up there, I’ll look like a coward!> Clark responded.
<Well, giving in to bullies only serves to encourage them further. You’re setting a bad example to everyone around you.> Superman said disapprovingly.
Clark sighed at Superman as he got into the ring.
****
“Forget it, Clark. That guy’s a jerk,” Lois said after Max Menken showed up to tell the fighters to hit the showers.
“I guess you can get away with a lot when you’re the strongest man in the world,” Clark replied.
“*One* of the strongest,” Max Menken cut in, “Saturday night, you can see them all. The ultimate street fight! The most spectacular night of boxing there ever was – and the winner is going to fight Superman!”
Clark stopped paying attention as he suddenly had to deal with Superman again.
<Like that’s ever going to happen. Unlike you, Clark, *I* don’t get involved in unnecessary fights.> Superman chided.
****
“A lot of parents are workaholics,” Clark said to Lois.
“Well, the ones that I knew at least tried to spend some quality time with their family,” Lois retorted, her voice cracking a little, “My dad just came home to criticize. ‘Daddy, I got a 98 on this test.’ ‘Well, that’s good, Lois. That leaves two points for improvement.’”
Clark had nothing to say to that.
<It’s kind of sad, that Lois had such a poor relationship with her father. I guess that’s part of the reason why she’s so impatient and lacking in understanding – it’s not all her fault, really.> Superman reflected.
<Yeah. Kind of puts things into perspective – being adopted doesn’t really matter at all, as long as you’re loved by your parents.> Clark replied.
Lois’s phone started ringing.
“Lois Lane,” she answered. “Allie? Calm down, what’s wrong…ok, just tell me where and when…ok.”
“Allie Dinello,” Lois said to Clark as she finished the call, informing him as to whom the call had come from.
During the phone conversation, Clark had been listening in and had heard Allie say that he wanted to speak to Lois alone. Of course, Superman had been able to hear everything that Clark heard, and was now giving him a hard time for it.
<Clark, you can’t listen in on people’s private conversations! Now, I know Lois has her father as an excuse, but you…>
****
“Are you sure you want to break into your dad’s office?” Clark asked.
Superman was equally apprehensive. <You can’t just break into people’s offices! It’s against the law! Besides, what about their right to privacy?>
“He’s hiding something. I’ve seen Jimmy do this before, it always works,” Lois responded as she unsuccessfully tried to jimmy the lock open. Or rather, pick the lock open.
<Well…it should be OK…she *is* his daughter after all.> Clark said, to placate Superman. Why did his behavioral guidelines have to be so overly rigid?
<I guess…> Superman said, sounding half-convinced.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Lois said.
“Nothing. You did it,” Clark said as he opened the door, breaking the lock in the process.
“Oh, that was pretty good for a first time,” Lois remarked, pleased at her apparent success.
****
“Oh my god, Clark. I’m Dr. Frankenstein’s daughter,” Lois said in horror as she and Clark surveyed the mechanical parts Dr. Sam Lane was using to enhance Menken’s fighters.
<So, they’ve been cheating. Well, you know what to do, Clark. Just get me close to them.> Superman said.
<Yeah. Although the police should be good enough to handle this one.> Clark replied thoughtfully.
Suddenly, he thought he heard footsteps. Motioning for Lois to be quiet, he asked Superman, <You hear that?>
<Yeah, footsteps.> Superman responded.
“What?” Lois asked.
“I heard something. I’m going to check it out. Stay here,” Clark said decisively, knowing that if Superman had heard it too, it couldn’t have been a figment of his imagination.
“I could take him! I could take Superman!” That came from Tommy Garrison’s voice.
“You ain’t ready, kid,” Menken replied.
<Well, Menken’s right. That’s highly unlikely. Given the average density of these mechanical parts, they would have to be over 1000 standard deviations over the mean for him to be anywhere near as strong as us. The odds of that are even less than those of getting a royal flush.> Superman remarked.
Clark used his own super brainpower to quickly do the calculations in his head. <You’re right. Just…don’t start getting too much into poker on me, ok?>
As the voices got closer to the office, Superman started worrying, although he remained calm. <Clark, what are you going to do?> he asked.
In response, Clark jogged in place, creating a miniature earthquake.
<You can’t do that! Think about the property damage!> Superman exclaimed in alarm.
<Superman…please, just…give it a rest already.>
****
“I’m not so sure we were at your father’s office last night,” Clark said pointedly.
<Clark, that’s a blatant lie! Why are you telling her that? She’s not going to believe you anyways – she was there too!>
Clark ignored Superman, focusing instead on his conversation with Lois.
”What?” Lois asked.
“Maybe I was home asleep, and you were watching a late movie on TV,” Clark continued, trying to get Lois to see the point.
<That’s ridiculous. What’s the big idea, Clark?>
“What is with you? We were together. We took those pictures,” Lois insisted.
“What pictures?” Clark asked, raising his eyebrows for emphasis.
“Clark, this is the biggest scandal in boxing history,” Lois said, losing patience with whatever game her partner was playing.
“No doubt about it. Look, we print this…whoever killed Allie is going to want your father out of the way, too.”
The revelation his Superman like a ton of bricks. <Oh my god, you’re right, Clark. You really can’t print this! It’s a good thing you thought of that…that’s something that I never would have even considered…> he said in horror.
****
“Police academy graduation,” Clark said, telling Lois what he had been assigned after Lane and Kent had come up with squat.
“Nice,” Lois remarked in a businesslike tone, “Well, guess we’re not partners anymore, Clark.”
“Guess not,” Clark said ruefully.
“I’m sorry, Clark. Really,” Lois sighed.
“It’s just as well.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it is just as well. I mean, you don’t want to be partnered with a hypocritical reporter who talks a good game but backs off the minute things hit too close to home,” Lois said bitterly.
“Yes, I do,” Clark said sincerely, smiling at her.
Lois’s face registered surprise for a brief moment, before she smiled regretfully and walked away.
<Wait a minute, you didn’t say that just to cheer her up!> Superman realized. <Clark, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to understand what goes on in your mind. Besides my own thoughts, I mean.>
And when it comes to Lois, I hope it stays that way for a while at least, Clark thought to himself.
****
The rest of the afternoon’s events passed like a blur. Lois and Clark had met with Sam Lane, who had urged them to print the story, and had even provided them with a tape recording implicating Max Menken in the murder of Allie Dinello. Perry had been most pleased with the results, and had declared Lane and Kent to be the “greatest writing team since Woodward and Bernstein”.
Soon, it was time for the scheduled street fight, which would not be held due to the mechanical parts scandal.
“Nobody alive can hurt us! We’re the greatest of all time!” Tommy Garrison declared as he protested the cancellation of the fight from the center of the boxing ring.
“And no two-bit boxing commission, or a bunch of loudmouthed, no-nothing fans can change that! Bring me Superman, I’ll show you!”
****
Meanwhile, at the Daily Planet
****
Lois and Clark walked down the stairs, exchanging congratulatory smiles at each other.
Suddenly, Lex Luthor walked through the front door. “Miss Lane. I was hoping to find you. I was hoping these rumors about your father were unfounded.”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Lois, your father is a visionary, and I have nothing but contempt for those who have led him down this path. I will do everything in my power to see that your father redirects his energies…to the injured and handicapped,” Lex said.
<Oh please, he’s such a fake. Clark, you have to tell her about what Lex is really like.> Superman said, his voice dripping with contempt.
<Well, I wish we could, Superman, but we have no evidence!>
<I suppose you’re right.> Superman sighed.
“I don’t know what to say,” Lois said, buying his whole spiel.
“Well, ain’t this touching!” Max Menken had suddenly came through the door, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Menken?” Lois asked, surprised.
“I think someone’s looking for you, Max. Maybe the D.A.,” Clark said pointedly.
“All right! Let’s nobody get heroic here!” Max crowed, whipping out a pistol. Lex made a move as if to reach for the gun, but quickly backed off as Max said, “Back off! She’s taking a ride with me!”
Lois gave a short scream as Max seized her. “Haven’t you caused enough trouble?” Luthor demanded, continuing to play his part.
“I’m just warming up,” Max grinned as he pushed Lois out the door.
“I’ll go for help,” Clark and Lex said simultaneously to each other as they split up.
****
Superman soared over the skies of Metropolis, searching anxiously for any signs of Max and Lois. Spotting them, he dropped down to Earth.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Menken.”
As two goons began to creep up behind Superman, Lois called out in alarm, “Superman, behind you!”
Superman turned around and, sighting the pair, quickly became a blur as he used his super speed to wrap them up into a nearby fence. He wasted no time playing around with them, taking unnecessary hits in order to gauge their strength, or cracking jokes.
Max’s eyes widened, and he turned to point his gun at Lois, but Superman’s hand was already on the gun, crushing it.
Suddenly Lex ran up, holding a pistol of his own. “Are you ok?” he asked Lois, looking quite nervous as he glanced at a dejected Max Menken.
Lois ignored Luthor, and looked wide-eyed at Superman. “You saved my life,” she said breathlessly.
“Well, I couldn’t let-“
<Wait, Superman! Remember what we discussed about sending Lois the wrong messages??> Clark interrupted from within Superman’s mind.
<Oh, right. I almost slipped up again, didn’t I…>
“uh…I couldn’t let this criminal get away,” Superman amended. He had been about to tell Lois that he couldn’t let any harm come to her!
Lois, for her part, was staring at Superman in rapt admiration.
****
“Superman! I want to see what makes you so super! Where do you suppose he is? You don’t think he’s scared, do you? Why would he be scared of me? Superman? Oh, Superman!” Garrison hollered as he tried to taunt the Man of Steel into a physical confrontation.
He continued in this manner until armed policemen came to take him away.
****
“By the way, Kent, where were you when all this went down?” Perry asked.
“I went for help!” Clark protested.
“No criminal charges against Dr. Lane, oh now, that’s great. Oh, well this is nice. Lex Luthor offered to testify as a character witness before the medical ethics board,” Perry read from Lois and Clark’s article in the Daily Planet. “Well, good for Lex! You know, he carries a lot of weight in this community.”
“Yeah. And can you *believe* how that creep Menken tried to claim that Lex put him up to all of it? The nerve of that guy!” Lois agreed.
Clark grimaced in silence.
“Well, looks like my instinct was right. You’re a great team. Circulation ought to hit the roof with this piece,” Perry continued.
“So, I guess that means we’re full-time partners now?” Lois asked with a smile.
“Oh, no no no no. Let’s not overdo a good thing. Only when the time is right, and only on special stories,” Perry grinned, tapping his head as he said the word “special stories”.
“What did he mean, ‘where was I’?” Clark said petulantly.
“You were going for help. Come on. Let’s get something to eat,” Lois said cheerfully.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Clark, if it makes you feel any better, even Lex got there too late,” Lois pointed out.
“Actually, now that you put it that way, I do feel better,” Clark grinned, getting up from his seat to follow her.
****
<to be continued in Identity Crisis 6: I Have a Crush on You>
