These are two "deleted scenes" from
Bats in the Belfry .
Don't get too excited... Deleted scenes are usually deleted for a reason. *lol* The 1st one is a full scene, the second is just a snippet of conversation that Lois missed while she went looking for a vase.
The only reason for this was to explain something that was missing from the original: why does Bruce Wayne want to go out with Lois in the first place? Which, I admit, made him look a bit on the OOC side. Hopefully, it will make more sense now.
And I should warn you - I've been running on enough anti-inflammatory drugs to put a horse to sleep, so I'm not exactly sure how really funny this is. (some of it is hilarious in *my* head, but then... *shrugs*)
I've included parts of the original story in italics to help understand where the scenes take place.
~.~.~.~.~
~ Bats in the Belfry - The Deleted Scenes ~ As Lois and Bruce's conversation progressed, Clark became increasingly agitated. Bruce Wayne? How dare he ask Lois out to dinner? A shiver ran through him as he recalled the last billionaire Lois had been out with. This could not be happening! His worse nightmare was turning into a recurring dream. No! Annoyed, Clark opened his drawer and looked into the secret compartment for his Justice League Handbook. He read through it at super speed then shoved it back into the drawer, angrily. What had he really hoped to find in there anyway, he wondered? A rule that said "Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" - honestly? Nevertheless, it would be a cold day in hell before he let this billionaire run away with his girl.
Getting up from his chair as if it had caught on fire, Clark started towards the elevators, one hand tugging at his tie as though it was choking him. He stopped for a second when Lois asked where he was running off in such a hurry. His reply came out a scrambled mix of some of his worst made-up excuses.
"I have to go... need to return my video of the month, in the mail," he told her, not even bothering to turn and look in her direction.
Lois sat there for a moment, staring wide-eyed at his back as he kept on walking away. Had he completely lost his mind? ~.~
Superman flew over Metropolis, waiting for Batman to signal him back so he'd know where to find him. He'd sent the usual message, letting the Dark Knight know that he needed to speak to him and was now anxiously awaiting an answer. Finally, a response came and Superman headed at full speed to an alley that was actually not very far from where he'd started his search, near the Daily Planet building.
There was no one around when he got there, so he quickly scanned the area in search of his "friend" but as hard as he tried, he just couldn't find him anywhere. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited, tapping his foot impatiently. He still couldn't believe that a friend would do this to him - just waltz in and make a move on
his girl! OK, so he hadn't been able to work up the courage to make a move either, but that was beside the point. He'd get that backstabbing Bat-Billionaire to go back to Gotham City if he had to drag him back there himself!
"What's the emergency?" came a low voice, from behind him.
Startled, Superman turned around and found himself face to face with Batman. He was hanging upside down, suspended to a rope that seemed to be tied to a flagpole a few stories overhead.
"I hate when you do that!" Superman said, annoyed. He'd never been able to figure out how it was that Batman could fool absolutely all of his senses. Granted the man was a master at hiding in the shadows, but Superman should still have been able to pick up his presence with at least one of his abilities...
"What? Hang upside down?" Batman answered, a subtle but teasing smile on his lips. Immediately, he released the rope that was holding him up and, after a quick backflip, found himself standing on his feet.
"What are you doing here?" Superman asked.
"You called me, I came," the Dark Knight answered, raising an eyebrow. "What's the emergency?" he repeated. The conversation was already going around in circles and there was nothing he hated more than wasting time like this.
"Oh, ha ha. Funny. I mean what are you doing in Metropolis? The
real reason... not the cover up story."
"You didn't really ask me here for this, did you?" Batman sighed heavily. "I told you last time. I'm setting up a satellite batcave."
"I think you should stick to Gotham City," Superman said, matter-of-factly.
"Hey, what's your problem? We talked about this already. I thought we agreed!"
"Yeah, well I changed my mind. Go back to Gotham." Superman's tone was as icy cold as it was commanding. It wasn't a suggestion he was making, obviously. He turned to leave. "And stay there," he mumbled under his breath as he walked out of the alley at a little more than normal, human speed.
"Hey! I heard that, you know!" Batman shouted, now seriously annoyed. "Hey! Wait up! What in heaven's name has gotten into you?" He ran in the direction Superman had gone, trying to catch up to him. When he did, they were both out of the alley and standing on the sidewalk of a busy street, in broad daylight.
"Nothing," the Man of Steel explained. "I just don't think there's any need for you here. You should go back to Gotham."
"What? Why? Last week, you were going on and on about how cooperation was the key - and now you want to get rid of me?" As hard as he tried, the Dark Knight could not figure out what could possibly have happened to get the Man of Steel so ticked off. He was usually rational and considerate - not the type to easily get his red briefs all in a bunch!
"I can take care of things here just fine on my own."
"You know full well that wasn't the point!" Batman was all kinds of frustrated by now.
"I just don't think you don't belong here."
"Well that's just too bad, because I'm not going to abandon a base of operations when it's almost ready. Have you any idea how much money went into that? And all because you talked me into it! You're completely out of your mind if you think I'm going to walk away from this investment because you're having some sort of power trip!"
"This isn't a power trip! I'm just asking you to go back to Gotham. But if you won't be civilized about it..." Superman's eyes were narrow with anger.
"Civilized?" Batman exploded, gesticulating madly as he shouted. "I am being civilized! You're the one who's not! And you're not making any sense, either! What's gotten into you, for crying out loud? We're supposed to be on the same side! What have I done to you, for Pete's sake?" He stopped cold, suddenly having put two and two together. "Oh, wait a second... I know what this is! This isn't about me, it's about your pretty reporter friend. Isn't it?"
It was the only logical explanation, he knew.
Batman hadn't done anything, but
Bruce Wayne had - he'd invited Lois Lane to dinner. He should have known this would get him in trouble! The original plan hadn't included a dinner invitation, only granting her an interview. But she was a smart cookie and he was afraid she might have found it odd if he
hadn't acted all suave and playboyish when he'd spoken to her on the phone. He had a reputation to maintain - as silly as it was for him to pretend to be a dim-witted Don Juan. People expected Bruce Wayne to act this way. Surely Superman could understand the need to protect his secret identity?
"Brilliant detective work," Superman replied. "I'm not letting another billio-"
"You're really
jealous, aren't you?" Batman said, interrupting Superman before he could give away his alter-ego. "You're afraid I'm going to swoop right in and steal her away, don't you?"
"Steal her? Ah!" Superman retaliated. Of course he was scared. He was petrified at the thought. But he wasn't going to let Batman see that. "You're not man enough to even consider dating Lois Lane," he added quickly. As things stood, he wasn't really sure he was man enough for it himself - at least, not his
real self - but there was no way he was going to let anyone just make off with the woman of his dreams. Especially not a trusted ally!
"Hey, well at least I'm not an alien!" the Dark Knight spat back. How dare anyone accuse him of not being man enough to handle a woman? He had women falling all over themselves to be seen with his alter ego and melting in his arms, too! He was more than man enough!
"What's that supposed to mean?" Superman was very agitated now, his eyes shining with anger and his face turning a shade of red that closely matched that of his cape. He might not be from
this planet, but he was most definitely all man - anatomically or otherwise! How dare Batman insinuate that he wasn't?
For a long minute, Batman just stood there, mere inches away from Superman's face, eyeing him defiantly. "You heard me," he said, his voice low and even.
"At least I don't hide my face like a coward," Superman replied in a similar tone.
"I'm not a coward! And you're a fool!" Batman threw at him. "Let me remind you that you're the one who said I should get in touch with her. And you know perfectly well why that is, too!"
"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"
"You know, I really couldn't see what it was about her before - I mean obviously she's got something special - but now I'm starting to think that maybe I'd like to find out what all the fuss is about."
"You will do no such thing!"
"Just watch me!" Batman spat and he started walking away, only to have Superman catch up with him at super speed. He tried leaving again in another direction a few times, but Superman always caught up with him faster than he could blink. "Stop that, will you? You have absolutely no right to dictate my actions."
"Well you'd better wish your sense of loyalty returns to you soon, then."
"Speak for yourself! You're the one who's doing a 180 on me, not the other way around. Your ability to think logically went right out the window the second she started batting her eyelashes at you, it seems. You really need your head examined, pal!"
Suddenly, they realized that Lois Lane was standing a few feet away from them.
~.~. END OF DELETED SCENE #1 .~.~
Not very long afterwards, a very handsome man wearing an expensive suit walked out of the elevator. Lois immediately recognized him as Bruce Wayne. He was carrying a rather large bouquet of roses in one hand. He strolled towards Lois's desk, offering her the flowers as soon as he got there.
Blushing, Lois mumbled a thank you and, excusing herself for a short moment, set out to find a vase to put the flowers in. ~.~
Bruce turned to watch her leave and found himself face to face with a rather angry looking Clark Kent.
"You again," Clark said in a low voice, hoping to keep the conversation as private as possible.
"Look, I should apologize. I was a bit out of line before," Bruce told him, sincerely. "Can we talk about this? Like reasonable adults..."
"Oh, sure! And that's supposed to explain the red roses? How stupid do you think I am?"
"I don't think..." Bruce started. He shot a few glances around him and, satisfied that no one seemed to be paying much attention to them, went on quietly, but firmly. "Look, that's the cover story, you nitwit! There's no way I could explain why I'd come all the way here just to see
you."
"Wow. You're even better than I am at coming up with phony excuses. We could have done this over the phone!"
"So sue me for wanting to do this in person. It seemed like a good idea at the time," Bruce replied, getting more annoyed by the second. "I just thought that since I invited Lois to dinner and since I was in the neighborhood and -"
"I told you before to stay away from Lois," Clark mumbled in a low and uncharacteristically commanding voice. "You're not man enough to be with her."
"At least I am a man," came Bruce's biting retort.
~.~. END OF DELETED SCENE #2 .~.~
Bottom Dweller's Notes:
...we
told you the scenes had been deleted for a reason!
There is such a thing as
satellite batcaves, in case anyone wonders. Batman set them up at one point, in case he needed a place to hide or re-supply. They're all in Gotham, of course... But it wouldn't be that illogical for him to have some elsewhere. Having one in Metropolis would be a good idea in the event Superman ever went completely berserk (like in the
Hush series) - Batman has a Kryptonite ring exactly for that purpose and it would stand to reason that the Dark Knight might need a place in Metropolis to coordinate an attack or simply hide in case he ever got hurt while trying to overpower Superman.
