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Krissie Offline OP
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As I said in the comments folder for part 26, I have some doubts about this part. Is it nail-bitingly suspenseful enough? I have my doubts...

Chris

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Hi,

Great part. smile1


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"Maybe for you this is the end, but for me this is just the – how did Churchill put it? – end of the beginning. We've still got the arraignments to look forward to, and the trial. I dare say that I won't be the one prosecuting, even for the State offences – I'm too close to this – but it'll be my office. My colleagues." He shook his head. "No, Lois. We've got a long way to go before we can say that we've won."
confused Lois won't have access to inside information.

More soon, please.

MAF smile1


Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
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In some respects this came off sort of keystone cop like. Pagiliano was so stupid that you knew he had to die, but the police seemed so inept in their inability to protect him.

I'm not sure that even Luthor's calculating vengeful stare could fluster Lois, but it might have been more fun if she'd made him so angry that he would lunge at her so CJ could physically stop Luthor. After all, we know that Luthor is going to get Lois, so why not CJ also.

I wonder how he'll be able to strike at Lois while in custody... oh, of course. Nigel, Asabi, and a host of others. Looks like Lois is toast.

Tank (who reminds Chris that she promised some whams that haven't been delivered yet)

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Pay no attention to the man in Minnesota wink

Chris, you had my attention riveted. Pagliano was being an idiot, but it seemed perfectly in character for him. And it was a huge estate; they couldn't cover everything.

It was frustrating not to hear them (though as an author, it probably made your job a lot easier goofy ) but that video should be pretty convincing. <shudder>

CJ's right, they still have a lot of work to do -- but I'm glad they're taking a break to celebrate their progress smile

PJ
who was away for the weekend, and chose to catch up on this before WLMC <g> You should be flattered, Chris!

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Nice part. It's just a shame Luthor didn't go for the "suicide by cop". Or that the SWAT team didn't have a couple of snipers stationed to cover the grounds "just in case".

One little "Americanization" comment. Over here the phrase "armed police" is redundant. They're the police - of course they're armed, all the time.


WAC
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Krissie Offline OP
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I'll reply to the comments thread properly another time. Meanwhile I just want to ask a quick question. WAC -- and welcome on board, so to speak -- said:
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One little "Americanization" comment. Over here the phrase "armed police" is redundant. They're the police - of course they're armed, all the time.
Fair point, for which I thank you! smile What I would like to know, though, is this: wouldn't the police have to give a warning that they might *use* their guns, or is that simply assumed, too?

Chris (who'd like to get the details right smile )

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There's no point in carrying guns if they're never going to use them... they're required to identify themselves, I think, to give a person a chance to cooperate. And the ideal is that they never have to shoot. But it's an option, all the same.

Or at least, that's what I've gathered from watching TV <g>

PJ

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Chris

WOW! Love this part! razz

At last he's arrested. Now CJ and Lois have to make sure that the charges stick.

I can't wait to read the next part. I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

Tricia cool

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Yeah, what Pam said. In the scenario in your story they'd identify themselves as "Police" to get attention, along with some sort of demand to raise arms/drop any weapons. Since shots had already been fired they would already have their weapons drawn and aimed when they do this, so it should be fairly intuitive to the criminal that anything other than immediate obedience might result in a severe case of lead poisoning.


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Chris
another great part
and progress is being made
more soon please
merry

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I'm glad they got him, but I'd never count Lex out, no matter what.

However, I think they have a few more things to get ironed out before this is over. Don't take too long.

Nan


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Playing catch-up on the last three sections... smile

Wonderful, riveting story. I loved the neat parallel of Lois and secrets, and her plea that CJ never think that keeping secrets will work between them. I tried to imagine "our" Lois making that request and... "irony" is too small a word. smile Just lovely.

While the fellow's death was fairly awful, it did serve a purpose in neatly trapping Lex (especially with his "happy Snoopy dance" afterwards, ugh!), and I did like the way you made his stubborness (and stupidity) fit very nicely with his personality.

I very much enjoyed the quietish interlude, when Lois was forced to recognize that life goes on after the "next big story" and that CJ was the perfect partner. I have to admit that when Perry started chewing out the guy who kept calling in sick, I had a wild moment of wondering whether Lois was going to suggest that CJ be hired on the spot. goofy Then, when you so neatly tied in the Arcadia thingy... Wonderful! You do realize, don't you, that when Perry skims the article, it's also the first time that we, the readers, discover what's wrong there? Saxon alludes to it, and we see CJ and Lois react to it, but we don't actually find out what was wrong until now. BTW, I adored Perry in Perry mode. From furious boss to caring employee in sixty seconds or less! goofy

Little typo correction from part 25: "displaying a flare" -- I admit it amused me, since CJ has a "flair" for cooking in the following section. wink

I'll be offline for a couple of weeks, so I might miss the next few sections. But rest assured that I look forward to reading MORE as soon as I can!

Hazel


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Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

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Yay, they got Luthor. Good going.

I do find that Pagliano is being extremely stupid in allowing Lex to get him away from the house. He must know how much danger he's in. I wonder if you could tighten Pagliano's reasoning up. Otherwise I just see it as a way for the writer to get him out of the house.

Otherwise, I truly enjoyed this section. The bloodthirstyness of the killing was extremely well done.

gerry

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Krissie Offline OP
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Tank:
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I wonder how he'll be able to strike at Lois while in custody... oh, of course. Nigel, Asabi, and a host of others. Looks like Lois is toast.
But Tank, remember that Nigel is a gay hairdresser and Asabi is a family man who owns a rather nice restaurant. Okay, so these could be covers... but they're not.

As for the whams... wasn't CJ almost dying a few chapters enough for you? Anyone would think that you're blood thirsty.

Pam: thanks for the reassurance. smile
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who was away for the weekend, and chose to catch up on this before WLMC <g> You should be flattered, Chris!
Believe me, I am! Very.

Hazel: thank you, thank you and thank you. And I'll correct the typo. smile

Maria, Merry, Nan: thanks for your feedback, too. It makes a huge difference knowing that people are reading this... particularly knowing that people have managed to stick with this all the way through.

Gerry: thanks for the input. smile Okay, so Pagliano is stupid...

I don't think that I can prevent him being an idiot, but I have put in some hints as to his personality traits in an earlier chapter (Twenty-two, where Lois is on Henderson's stakeout). Thus (new stuff in bold):

Quote
"And how, precisely, do you know that?"

"His wife and I belong to the same health club," answered Benton. Then, to make it clear that this wasn't simply a happy coincidence, she added, "I joined two weeks ago. Sylvia Pagliano spends most of her time in the members' bar. She gets quite talkative after a few spritzers. I gather," continued Benton, "that she would do more or less anything to get hold of some money."

The unspoken suggestion hung between them. Then Luthor said, "Hypothetically speaking, if Mrs Pagliano got hold of a few shares in MaxiComm, would she sell?"

"Yes, she would. Hypothetically speaking."

Luthor sounded thoughtful. "What else can you tell me about this Pagliano character?"

"Not a lot," answered Benton. "His wife described him as 'ugly and perverse'. She says he has an almost pathological hatred of taking advice or orders from anyone else. He'll argue that black is white, even when he knows he's wrong, just to exercise his autonomy. I gather his behaviour leads to lots of arguments. He likes arguing, but she doesn't. She says he's impossible to live with."

Sounding surprised, Luthor said, "He behaves like that, but he still manages to be a success in business? Even *I* have take advice sometimes."

Lois thought she heard Carnes snort with suppressed laughter at that. Maybe she was wrong, though, because neither Benton nor Luthor gave any sign of having heard anything amiss.

Benton must have nodded then, because she didn't give a verbal answer to Luthor's question. "MaxiComm's board members might all hate him," she said, "but they know which side their bread is buttered on. They're all yes-men – no women on his board. And, when he's not being awkward, Pagliano allegedly verges on the brilliant." There was a pause, before Benton asked,
"So what do you want me to do next?"

"Nothing yet," answered Luthor. "I think we can handle it from here."
I've also inserted a line in the most recent chapter to the effect that:
Quote
There was a glint of defiance in Pagliano's eyes, and Lois could tell that, no matter how willing he had been to be used as bait, he wanted to do it on his own terms. He was obviously a man who liked to be in control of situations and he resented the fact that, having agreed to help the police, they were trying to tell him what to do. Fool, she thought, sympathising with Plotnek's anger. This was hardly the time to be having a fit of post-adolescent rebellion. Then she remembered what Benton had said about Pagliano during the previous stakeout, and Lois wondered why she was surprised that he was behaving this way now; she – along with everyone else – should have expected it. Knowing that did nothing for the knot that had suddenly developed in her stomach, however.
Is this an improvement?

I didn't mean to make the police look foolish here; they should have planned for every contingency, but not everything can be so carefully orchestrated as they perhaps would wish. Again, I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do to make that clear.

Oddly, the main doubts I had with this section had to do with whether or not it was suspenseful enough, or whether, as dramatic A plot it wasn't a bit... well... boring. (Then again, this isn't the climax of the story, so I didn't want it to overshadow what is to come.)

WAC: I have changed the 'armed police' bit, too. Thanks for the heads up on that.

Chris


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