Clark laid back on Dr Klein’s examination table and rested his head gingerly on the pillow. He knew he ought to relax – that he was in good hands – but he couldn’t help feeling nervous. He was about to subject himself to a close encounter with a variant of the mineral which had brought him an awful lot of pain and nearly killed him on more than one occasion. Was he crazy, or what?
“Comfortable?” asked Dr Klein.
“Yes.” Edgy, but comfortable.
“Relax, Clark. This won’t hurt a bit, I promise you.”
Clark nodded. “I know. Red kryptonite’s a breeze, huh?”
Because once he’d returned to Metropolis with Lois and Jon, they’d rushed over to Star Labs to tell Dr Klein about the red kryptonite theory. Surely, Clark had explained, if the mineral caused his powers to go into overdrive, then it must cause his whole metabolism to speed up. If he was exposed to red kryptonite, therefore, he would recover more quickly from the green kryptonite radiation and subsequently regain his normal fertility. Dr Klein had agreed that it was an interesting theory and definitely worth putting to the test – under strictly-controlled conditions, of course.
So here Clark was, subjecting himself to a close encounter with something he’d usually go to great pains to avoid. A breeze? Who was he kidding?!
“Exactly. Now, I’m just going to put these monitors on you, just to be safe.” Dr Klein slipped a couple of chest monitors under Clark’s open-necked shirt. He glanced at the screen to the side of the examination table which was now displaying Clark’s vital signs and nodded. “Okay, that looks fine. Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be, I guess.”
“Here we go.”
Clark tensed and held his breath as the doctor lifted the lid of the box containing the red kryptonite.
But as promised, he felt nothing.
“Still okay?” asked Dr Klein.
“Yes.”
“All right, I’ll leave you to relax for half an hour. I’ll be keeping an eye on your readings from my office, so there’s no need to worry. If anything goes wrong, I’ll see immediately,” said Klein. “Although I’m sure it won’t,” he added hastily.
“Thanks.”
As Dr Klein left, Clark reflected that the good doctor’s bedside manner seemed to be improving a little. At least he tried to offer reassurance! If only Clark could be as sure that everything would be okay. This might not be green kryptonite, but his experience with the red variety hadn’t exactly been a picnic either.
He closed his eyes and willed himself to forget his surroundings and think calming thoughts.
Lois hadn’t been as enthusiastic as either Clark or Dr Klein, of course. She’d pointed out the risks – as if Clark wasn’t already acutely aware of them! – and said she didn’t want a husband who was apathetic or not in control of his powers, or worse still, both together at the same time.
Clark had insisted that the effects would only be temporary, if they even manifested themselves at all. Dr Klein was planning on fairly controlled and minimal exposures, after all. And at least this time they’d understand what was happening to him. A day or so’s inconvenience was worth the chance of having a child, he’d told her. Privately, he’d been as concerned as she, but he truly did believe the small risk was worth the reward.
Well, in theory. Lying here with that rock just feet away from him wasn’t doing much for his nerves. His heart was thumping in his chest.
Hang on, maybe it was supposed to do that. Maybe that meant it was working. He reached over his body and felt for the pulse in his wrist. Yes, racing along as if he’d just lifted a spaceship into orbit. No wonder it felt warm in here.
So Lois had agreed – grudgingly. They’d even agreed that this was worth trying, whether or not CK came back with good news from the other universe. The sooner they got started on Clark’s ‘cure’, the sooner they could have kids – if it was good news. If it was bad news, then no harm would have been done – they’d have simply restored Clark back to normal health. Lois had added a proviso – if Clark’s health looked to be at risk at any point, the tests were to stop immediately. There wasn’t any sense in making him ill over this. What use would he be as a Dad if he was sick?
She had a point.
He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at the rock. Just as well he didn’t have a phobia about being treated like a lab rat...hold on, he did, didn’t he?
He laughed. Who cared? Lab rat, space rat – it was all the same to him. Chill, Kent, he thought with amusement.
Chill. Hmmm.
Cue the music, cue DJ Kent, king of the Kryptonian krap...rappers.
‘Well I was walkin’ along, doin’ ma’ thing, when a red rock hit me, right on the head. I said to the rock, hey give me a break, ‘cos Lois ain’t here and ya know she can’t bake.’
Nope, that didn’t sound right. Try again, DJ Kent...
‘Well, I was walkin’ along, doin’ ma’ thing...’
**********
Lois hurried into Dr Klein’s lab, conscious that she was already late. She and Clark had arranged that she’d pick him up at six pm, but a last-minute phone call had delayed her at the Planet, and now it was six fifteen.
“Sorry I’m late,” she told Dr Klein. “How did it go?”
“Oh, fine,” said Dr Klein. “We finished up about twenty minutes ago, and Clark’s been resting next door ever since. I think he’ll be glad to see you.”
She nodded. Dr Klein had warned Clark that he’d be required to rest quietly for a short period after exposure, but she knew that Clark wouldn’t enjoy just lying around doing nothing. “I’ll go rescue him,” she said with a grin.
She entered the side room where Clark was lying flat out on an examination table with his eyes closed. Smiling, she tip-toed up to him, leant over and pressed her lips to his.
She felt him smile against her lips. “Mmmm, Dr Klein, I didn’t think you cared,” he murmured.
She chuckled. “Be careful – maybe I *am* Dr Klein.”
“Nope, only my wife laughs like that.” He opened his eyes and gazed up at her. “Does this mean I’m free to go at last?”
“Yes, you’re a free man.”
She stepped back to let him sit up and swing his legs down to the ground. Beaming at her, he stood up, but then faltered and gripped the side of the table tightly.
Her heart did a small thud. “Everything okay?”
He smiled again. “Sure! Just sat up too quickly. I’m fine.” He stood up. “Come on, let’s get out of here before Dr Klein mistakes me for one of his lab rats.”
He laughed briefly at his own joke, and she looked askance at him – that subject wasn’t usually a laughing matter with Clark. He merely shrugged and walked to the door. She followed him back out into the lab, watching him closely for any further signs of dizziness. He seemed fine, but this was unknown territory for all of them, and despite her confidence in Dr Klein’s abilities, she couldn’t help worrying a little.
“So, I’ll see you in a couple of days time for the tests?” said Clark to Dr Klein, who was sitting at his workbench typing notes into a computer.
“Yes, that should be about right,” replied Klein.
“Okay.” He swayed almost imperceptibly and steadied himself with a couple of fingers on Dr Klein’s workbench. “Oops.”
“Clark?” She hurried to his side and placed a supporting arm around his back. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Just a little dizzy, that’s all. I’m fine, really.”
“Why don’t you sit down for a minute?” She indicated the stool next to Dr Klein’s, pushing him down onto it with little difficulty. “Dr Klein?” She looked anxiously at the doctor.
“Oh, don’t worry – I half-expected this.” Dr Klein slid off his stool and picked up Clark’s wrist. After a pause, he continued, “We’ve bumped up your metabolic rate so high, it’s not surprising you’re a little light-headed. It’s putting an extra strain on your power supply, so to speak.”
“You never mentioned this before!” exclaimed Lois.
“Well, I wasn’t sure,” said Klein. “This is new for me, too, you know.”
“You’re not exactly inspiring confidence, Dr Klein!” she said.
“Hey, give the doc a break, Lois,” said Clark from his stool. “He’s only doing his best, aren’t you, Bernie?”
‘Bernie’??? Since when did Clark start calling Dr Klein by his first name? Suspicious now, she reached down and turned Clark’s face towards hers. He gave her a big sloppy grin. “Hi.”
Oh, boy. “Clark, are you all right?”
“Never better, sweetness. I’m cool – real cool. I’m the king of cool.” His grin broadened. “The Klyp...Kryk...Kryptonian king of cool. The Klyp...Kryp...thing king of Kent cool. The kickin’ Klyp...Kryt...”
“Clark!”
He stopped abruptly and raised he eyebrows enquiringly at her. “Yes, oh, light of my life?”
“Are you drunk?” she asked incredulously.
“Kryptonians don’t get drunk,” he said very seriously, then brightened immediately. “Hey, that reminds me – I wrote a rap song. D’ya wanna hear it?”
“Not right now, honey.” She looked at Dr Klein accusingly. “Okay, so how long am I stuck with a drunken superman who can’t control his powers?”
“It’ll pass in a couple of hours, I’m sure,” said Klein blithely. “I guess this is just a variation on the apathetic state he’s suffered from before. At least he’s happy,” he added, as Clark began drumming rhythmically on the bench, using his forefingers as drumsticks and swaying to his own beat.
Lois sighed. “I’m not sure if that makes him any safer, though.”
And as if he’d heard her, Clark suddenly lost his balance on the stool. “Whoops,” he said merrily, as both Lois and Dr Klein grabbed him and propped him upright again.
“Just go home and rest, Clark,” said Dr Klein. “And remember what we said – absolutely no use of superpowers tomorrow. We don’t want to risk you drilling a hole in the ground like last time!” He laughed, but at her withering glare he quickly sobered. “Just take things nice and easy and you’ll be fine.”
“See, honey?” said Clark. “I told you I’m okay.”
She eyed his upturned, dopey face and thought in addition to looking a little like the village idiot, he also looked paler than usual. “Let’s just get you home,” she said in resignation, seeing that it was pointless to argue with him. “Dr Klein, do you mind walking with us to the car? In case Clark gets dizzy again.”
“Of course!”
************
Lois drew up outside the house, put the car into park and switched the engine off. So far, so good. The worst her tipsy husband had done so far was mist up the window with his breath and then draw pictures of Superman’s shield with his finger. Jon, meanwhile, was sleeping peacefully in his baby seat at the back.
“Clark,” she said, tugging at his shoulder to draw his attention away from his finger art.
He swung around and beamed at her. “Yes, oh, light of my life? Centre of my world, focus of my entire being, the light to which I fly-“
“Stay here while I take Jon inside, okay?” she told him firmly. She didn’t want him weaving drunkenly up the steps, or even worse, deciding to fly up, or worse still, falling over his feet and crashing back down again. “I’ll be back in a minute to help you up the steps.”
“Okay,” he replied brightly, and promptly opened his door.
“No!” she said, leaning over him and pulling it shut again. “Stay here. I’ll only be a minute.”
“Okay.” Abruptly, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him. “Have I told you I love you today?”
“I’m sure you have, sweetheart,” she said, extricating herself from his embrace. “Now sit tight and I’ll be back soon.”
“But did I kiss you when I said it? That’s important, you know. Just because we’re married we shouldn’t stop kissing.” He lunged towards her clumsily, pouting his lips ready for a kiss. She caught him before he collapsed on top of her and propped him back on his seat. “You didn’t kiss me,” he said in a crestfallen voice.
Oh, for heaven’s sake! She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “There. Now stay until I come back.”
She bolted from the car before he could make another move on her, raced around to collect Jon and hurried up the steps. To her utter dismay, he was waiting for her at the top. The only way he could have reached there before her was by using his superspeed.
“Hi,” he said. “Are we going inside now?”
She glanced up and down the street, anxiously checking for onlookers. “Clark, you can’t do that!” she hissed. “People will see you.”
“No, they won’t, ‘cos I’m not wearing the suit.” He grinned triumphantly at his impeccable logic and then stroked Jon’s little cheek. “I think your Mom’s mad at me,” he confided to his son’s sleeping form.
“And you might have smashed the door down in your current state,” she hissed. She turned her attention to the door, but just as she was about to put her key in the lock, the door opened.
“Can I help?” asked Superman.
****************
CK had only been back for around an hour. He’d wandered restlessly around the house for a while before selecting a book and settling down to read until Lois and Clark returned home. His attention had kept drifting – he was too alert to their imminent arrival to concentrate – so when his enhanced hearing had picked up familiar voices outside, he’d immediately focused on the conversation. Clark had sounded a bit odd – odder by the minute, in fact – and when Lois had admonished him twice in quick succession, he’d decided that maybe he could help by pouring calming oil on their troubled waters. Of course, two Clarks couldn’t be seen on the street together, so the suit had been the obvious choice.
“Yes,” replied Lois immediately, hardly batting an eyelid at his sudden appearance. “See if you can get Mr Uninhibited here to step inside his own house without making a scene.”
She stomped past carrying Jon, leaving him with a rather loose-limbed Clark leaning up against the wall. Clark raised a hand and pointed vaguely at CK. “Hey, you’re wearing a suit just like mine! Did your Mom make yours too?”
CK craned his head forward and peered at him. “Clark? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. D’ya wanna hear a rap song?” As Clark spoke, his body slid slowly sideways, and CK had to catch him before he crumpled to the ground. “Whoops!” he said merrily. “The wall moved.”
“No, you did, Clark,” said CK, holding onto him firmly to keep him upright. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
CK wrapped a firm arm around Clark’s back and under his arm and marched him through the door, flicking it shut behind him with his foot. Once inside, he frog-marched a fairly willing Clark over to a sofa and sat him down. “Clark, are you drunk?!” he asked, hardly believing he was even asking his level-headed double such a question.
Clark shook his head vigorously, then stopped suddenly. “Whoa,” he said, looking incredibly dazed. “Who turned on the special effects?”
Well, it might be an impossibility in CK’s experience, but it certainly appeared that Clark was indeed drunk. “I think maybe you should lie down,” he said, standing up to give Clark room to lie flat. Without waiting for his permission, he picked up Clark’s feet, swivelled him around and laid his legs full-length on the sofa. Clark didn’t seem to mind a bit, and simply let his top half flop down onto the cushions.
CK stared down at him, unsure of what to do next.
“Be gentle with me, Superman,” said Clark with a sloppy grin.
While he was thinking of a suitable riposte to that, CK was relieved to hear Lois returning to the living room. “Thanks, CK,” she said. “That’s the best place for him right now.”
“What happened?” he asked immediately, and listened with surprise and interest to Lois’s tale of bright ideas, red kryptonite, and the results of the first test. They’d certainly been busy while he’d been at home! He was impressed with their inventiveness – using red kryptonite to speed up Clark’s metabolic rate was a stroke of inspiration, even if it did seem to have some undesirable side-effects. Together with his news from home, the future was looking pretty bright for Lois and Clark.
“So Dr Klein thinks it’s working, but now I’m stuck with this,” said Lois, indicating her husband. “For who knows how long.”
“Um...” said Clark from the sofa.
They both turned to him. To CK’s horror, two narrow red beams of light went from Clark’s eyes all the way up to the ceiling. There was a blackened patch on the ceiling, plus two small holes. CK dove over to Clark and placed his hand over Clark’s eyes. He could feel the heat from the beams warming his palm.
“Clark!” exclaimed Lois. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry,” mumbled Clark. “Wrong setting.”
“Close your eyes,” instructed CK. He felt the heat recede. “Now open them again.” He waited, but his palm remained cool. “Do you have them open?” he asked, keeping his hand over Clark’s eyes for safety’s sake.
“Yeah, but I can’t see anything,” said Clark.
CK took his hand away cautiously, but the beams thankfully didn’t reappear.
“Hi, Superman,” said Clark. “You’re still wearing my suit.”
“Clark, listen to me,” said Lois, perching on the sofa beside him. “This is really important. Are you listening?”
“With both ears...hey, did you know that next door are having an argument? Maybe I should go and straighten them out.” He started to rise, but Lois pressed him down into the sofa with a hand on his chest.
“No, honey, but that’s what I’m talking about,” she said. “You have to stop using your powers. It’s really important, Clark.”
Clark frowned. “But I thought you liked my powers. Do you like Superman’s powers?”
“I think they’re just great, but yours are a little out of control right now, honey. You could hurt someone with them,” said Lois.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Lois glanced up at CK, apparently looking for inspiration. He shrugged at her, not really sure what she was expecting from him. Then he had an idea. “You could hurt Lois, Clark,” he said gravely. “You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
Clark shook his head.
“So you’ll make sure you don’t use your powers at all, won’t you?” CK added.
Clark nodded. “Yes, Superman.”
Lois sighed. “Okay, honey, that’s good. Why don’t you see if you can sleep a little? That’s probably what’s best for you.”
Clark nodded. “Okay, Lois.” He shut his eyes immediately. “I’m sleeping now.”
CK grinned and shared an amused glance with Lois. Clark was really pretty funny when he was like this. CK just hoped the effects would wear off before too long – Clark wouldn’t remain quiet on the sofa for more than a few hours.
Lois gestured at CK to move away from the sofa, and together they tip-toed into the kitchen.
**************
Thankfully by the next morning, Clark had recovered and was completely sober. Moreover, to Lois’s mild irritation, he didn’t have even the slightest hint of a hangover.
“Trust you not to suffer like the rest of us,” she grumbled darkly. “I suppose you remember everything, too. None of that scary blank space where a few hours of your life once existed.”
“Um...well, actually...” said Clark, propping himself up in bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Things are a little hazy. Did CK really tie me up?”
Lois paused in her hunt for her favourite bra and looked up. “Not exactly. He just tucked you in very tightly after you’d floated up to the ceiling for the fourth time in your sleep.”
“You could have just left me up there,” he said.
“You were banging your head against the ceiling,” she said acerbically. “It was a great rhythm, but we weren’t sure the house could stand it.”
“Oh.”
She turned back to her search. She knew it was in here somewhere...
“Lois, why are we getting up so early?”
Ah, there it was! She grabbed the bra and turned around to find him holding the alarm clock and staring at it blearily. “Because while you were in cloud cuckoo land yesterday, CK said he’d tell us both this morning what he found out about Lois. He wouldn’t tell me last night – said he’d prefer to tell us together. Something tells me it won’t be just a five minute conversation, so I got us up a bit earlier.”
“And does he know we’re getting up *this* early?” he said, pointing at the face of the clock.
“Yes,” she said crisply. “So shake a leg, honey! Only don’t do it at superspeed.”
He grimaced. “Thanks for the reminder.”
*************
CK sipped his coffee and regarded Lois and Clark over the brim of his cup. He’d related his conversation with Dr Fielding, and now they were sitting quietly – maybe a little too quietly. Perhaps he hadn’t been unbiased enough in his account of Dr Fielding’s findings. After all, despite her insistence, he himself couldn’t help wondering if his special circumstances had been a factor in causing Lois’s problems. There were no precedents – no-one knew what happened when a human and an alien made a baby together. So maybe he’d let his doubts show. He’d tried not to, for Lois and Clark’s sake, but maybe he hadn’t succeeded.
It probably didn’t help that Clark seemed a little edgy this morning. A couple of times, he’d stopped just short of touching Lois, frozen momentarily and then withdrawn. Lois hadn’t noticed his hesitation the first time, but the second time she’d placed gentle hands over his, murmuring, “It’s okay.” CK had been puzzled until he’d realised that Clark was worried he’d lose control of his powers and hurt her. It hadn’t occurred to CK before then that Clark’s exposure to red kryptonite would affect his home life as well as his Superman duties. He hadn’t gone anywhere near Jon, presumably for the same reasons. CK found he had a new admiration for Clark, for putting himself through such an uncomfortable experience. He had to be finding this a lot more difficult than he was letting on.
“Well, I think it’s great news,” said Lois suddenly. “Seems to me there’s nothing left to stop us having kids of our own. Thanks, CK.”
CK let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding on to. “Well, I’m just glad I found out what really happened to her,” he said. “It’s kind of put my mind at rest. I mean, the place itself wasn’t exactly luxurious, but the staff were great. I think she would have been well cared for.”
Lois smiled warmly. “That’s good, CK. I’m pleased for you.”
“What about you, Clark?” he asked, wanting to draw Clark into the conversation. So far, Clark didn’t look as though he shared his wife’s enthusiasm and was remaining quiet.
Clark studied his coffee mug for a moment before replying. “I don’t know. I guess we have to listen to the medical experts, but still...I wish there was some way of knowing for sure.”
“But there isn’t, honey,” said Lois. “You just have to accept that.”
“I know, but...”
Lois put a hand over his. “Remember when you asked me to tell you when I thought you were obsessing...?”
He frowned. “Actually, no.”
“Well, you should have,” she said. “And you’re doing it now. Relax, honey, there’s a million and one things that can go wrong during pregnancy, and none of them have anything to do with who the father is.”
A corner of Clark’s mouth turned upwards in a half-smile. “And this is supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, it’s putting you on notice that you’ve got a lot of reading to do between now and whenever we get pregnant,” she said. “I expect you to be my expert.”
Clark’s half-smile turned into a full smile. “You mean I can’t delegate the research to Jimmy?”
“Absolutely no, you cannot! Not unless you want Jimmy to be the one at my Lamaze classes,” she added darkly.
CK laughed. “Clark, you better start hitting the book stores. Something tells me she’s not kidding.”
Clark met his gaze across the table. “And something tells me that you’ve done us a big favour. Thanks, CK – going back can’t have been easy for you.”
He shrugged. “Well, like I said, I did it for my own peace of mind as much as for you two. But I’m glad if I’ve been of some help.”
“Definitely,” said Lois. “And thanks for offering to be Superman for the day.”
He’d mentioned it earlier. Clearly, Clark couldn’t safely do rescue work until the effects of the red kryptonite had worn off, so CK had thought it the obvious solution. In fact, he actually found himself looking forward to the day and the chance to help out wherever he could. Jon would go to the day care centre for the day.
*************
