Hi Everyone!
I can’t believe that I’m doing this, posting tonight when I promised myself that I’d wait another week in an attempt to build more buffer. But the sad truth is, I’m way behind my buffer-building anyway, so hopefully the added pressure of a fic in progress will force Muse to cooperate and me to make more time for it
A couple of words in advance. This fic is the long promised sequel to
Wedding Crashers and it’s going to be about 15 parts. The first part should get you up to speed in case the details of Wedding Crashers have gotten a bit fuzzy
I’m aiming for a weekly posting schedule and am hoping there’s still someone out there remembering this universe
A huge Thank You goes to Mellie for her invaluable brainstorming and organizing this Ficathon together with Classicalla and to my BRs. Mona, Kmar, Nancy (anonpip), and Iolanthe, you’re an awesome quartet, and I couldn’t do this without you guys
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLCs.
It’s an episode crossover but I won’t say more up here because it would spoil the surprise.
Blocks in < > are literal thoughts by the character.
Rating: PG
**********
The momentous events of ‘The Wedding Crashers’ have left Lois and Clark’s lives in uproar. Find out in this sequel how they are going to come to terms with it.
Part 1 /
TOC /
Comments **********
The wind ruffled Lois’s hair as she cruised down the road in her rental car. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the corn was sprouting in the fields that stretched endlessly on both sides of the road—simply put, it was a beautiful early-summer afternoon in the middle of Nowhere, Kansas.
Unfortunately, the idyllic scenery didn’t match Lois’s distraught disposition as she pulled her convertible to a stop in front of a railroad crossing. Her fingers tapped a distracted rhythm on the wheel, and her mind flashed back to that first time she had been here, just before Thanksgiving last year. What was it that Clark had told her when she hadn’t had the patience to wait two minutes for that train to pass?
<‘It takes as long as it takes.’>
A deep sigh escaped her, inaudible over the heavy freight train rumbling past. Back then she had made fun of him, had made fun of his entire way of life, of the way he looked at the world as though it was filled with hope and understanding instead of mistrust and cynicism.
Only now, now she wished she could go back and do it all over again. Because then she wouldn’t have to be here now, on her way to his parents so she could tell them that she had screwed up big time. That she had sent their son to the other side of the universe without even giving them a chance to say good bye.
Of course, to be fair, their dolt of a son could have told her about his moonlighting in tights many times over. For instance, he could have told her in the park, right after he had told her that he loved her. And right after she had told him that he was like a brother to her. Or he could have told her later that day, when he had visited her as Superman and she had told him that she loved him. The real him, the ordinary guy whom she had shot down and crushed into the dirt just a few hours earlier.
Lois let her head drop against the steering wheel as she forced her tears back down. Breaking out in tears because she had screwed up—big time—didn’t help, especially when she was in the middle of a road and still had several more miles to drive.
The crossing was clear when she raised her head again, and she put the transmission into drive. Smallville should be just behind that little grove of trees and the Kent farm just a little further after that. She had been procrastinating far too long, and she was quite literally running out of time.
**********
Clark exited the small bathroom after using the facilities to freshen up. It had been a… unique experience, to say the least, but his curiosity was overshadowed by the news that had been dropped on him earlier. He was married. To a woman named Zara. And he was on a spaceship. On his way to Krypton. He didn’t know which had been the most stunning revelation.
He idly pulled at the bright blue ‘S’ that adorned the black bodysuit Zara’s companion had handed to him before instructing him how to use the ultrasonic cleansing system. Now he heard both their voices drifting down to him from the end of the short hallway, not that he could understand a word they were saying.
It was an eerie sensation for a man who was able to travel the globe and find his way around the local customs and social mores no matter where he ended up. And it drove one point home more clearly than the strange surroundings, the instant wife, or the fact that he was on a spaceship ever could—he wasn’t in Kansas anymore, and it was time that he figured out how to get back.
**********
The small, open-floor office bustled with activity as reporters answered phones, rushed out to meet sources, and worked hard to put a newspaper together even if the accommodations weren’t strictly adequate compared to their old newsroom.
“Meyerson!” the gruff voice of the editor-in-chief echoed through the room. “How long until I can get that article on Luthor’s involvement in Senator Kinsley’s election fund?”
“Almost done, Mr. White!”
“Hurry up, or do you want the Star to beat us out of the exclusive!” Perry boomed, just for good measure. He had always run a tight ship, but now that both of his star reporters were missing in action, he felt the need to keep the leash just a little bit shorter. He let his gaze travel once more across the open space before he moved back to the cubicle that he had appropriated in lieu of a real office.
When he sat down, his eyes fell on the article that he knew would cause a ripple effect through the news-outlets across the globe. An article he was still holding back, partly because he had promised as much to the female half of his former top reporting team. An article he had written himself because there was no one else who could write it. Or more to the point, *would* write it.
A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he thought back to the events from two days ago, a day that had held more surprises than he would have ever thought possible. It had started out with the revelation of Clark Kent’s volunteer work, continued with news that he had gone on a very extended leave of absence to help out his own people, and ended with Lois telling Perry that she was leaving, too, and didn’t know when she would be back.
The aging editor picked up a red pen to go through Superman’s farewell one more time in an attempt to find anything that didn’t fit—a misplaced comma, a mistyped word, a misused phrase. Of course, there was none of that left. Not after editing the article at least twenty times over the past twenty-four hours. No, the only thing out of place was the byline. It should have read ‘Lois Lane and Clark Kent’, instead, it proclaimed ‘Perry White’.
He put the article down again. It was ready for tomorrow’s morning edition where it would serve to fill the front page. Every bone in his body had screamed against holding the article back one extra day, but he had done so because Lois had made him promise to.
Perry vividly remembered the look on her face when she had shown up at Kent’s apartment. She hadn’t said much but gone ghostly white, turned around, and left again in a hurry. At first, he had assumed it was because she had found out that he knew, and so he had left her some space. But when she hadn’t called by morning, he had chosen to check up on her, fully expecting to find her and her partner debating the best way to portray Luthor’s downfall. But instead of finding his two best reporters ready to join him at the new temporary Daily Planet offices, he had only found Lois and several empty tubs of ice cream.
After some prodding, she had told him that Clark had had to leave. That the couple he had seen with her had been Kryptonians. That she wasn’t ready to come back. That he had to write the story on Superman’s farewell himself. And that he must not, under any circumstances, and sworn on Elvis’s grave, publish it in the next morning edition. That he had to hold it back one more day before he told *anyone*.
And that was exactly it! He could understand why his surrogate daughter would be distraught over her best friend leaving, especially after what they had been through, but why had Clark not said good bye himself? It was completely unlike him! And why hold the article back? The old newshound knew that there was a story buried in there, not necessarily one he could ever print, but a story nonetheless.
**********
Lois climbed the stairs that led to the Kents’ veranda with all the trepidation of a woman condemned. This was it. This was the moment she’d tried to avoid for two days. If she waited any longer, Clark’s parents would learn what had happened through the mouth of the friendly neighborhood news anchor instead of the woman whose fault it all was.
“I can’t do it!” Lois muttered as she turned on her heel and started down the three steps again, ready to flee the scene.
She only got as far as her car before her better judgment kicked her survival instinct back into its corner. The Kents were good people. Honest people. They had been nothing but kind to her. The least she could do was tell them herself what she had done.
The suddenly not-so-fearless reporter stretched her hands and balled them back into fists as she took several calming breaths and turned back towards the farmhouse. “You can do it, Lane...” She consciously put one foot in front of the other. “You owe it to them…” The stairs seemed as high as Mount Everest. “Perhaps you’re lucky and they aren’t there…” She raised her right hand to knock. “Please, please, don’t be there…” She timidly tapped the wood once, twice and then let a relieved breath escape her lips. They weren’t home.
Lois scrunched her eyes shut and tapped the door again, this time with enough force to actually generate an audible sound, repeating a whispered, “Please, let them be home…” over and over again.
“I’m coming!”
The muffled voice combined with the trip-trap of light footsteps told Lois that she was in luck. Or out of it, depending on how she chose to see her situation. Then the door swung open.
“Lois?” Martha exclaimed, shock and surprise both evident in her voice. There was a moment’s pause before the energetic woman embraced Lois in a warm hug before she pulled back again.
“Hello, Martha…” Lois said shyly.
“Jonathan!” Martha called over her shoulder. “Lois is here and Clark–” She paused and started to look around to the left and right before focusing back on Lois. “Where’s Clark?” Her voice no longer sounded cheerful but carried a distinct worry with it.
**********
Clark took a deep breath and strode through the open door into what appeared to be some sort of community area. His two travel-companions were seated at a triangular table. They immediately noticed his arrival and stopped talking as they turned towards him.
The man rose from his seat and did a half-bow, Zara stayed seated but nodded at Clark. “Kal-El. It is good to see you have recovered.” She gestured towards the base of the triangular table, to the right of where she was sitting. “Please, have a seat.”
“Ah…” Clark took a moment to wrap his head around her sudden switch to English, then he was confused by the lack of a chair. As if on cue, there was a flash of light and a simple, round stool materialized. “Hello…” he offered as he took a careful seat, unsure it wouldn’t suddenly disappear again.
“I assume you have a lot of questions, Kal-El,” she started again, and Clark simply nodded, still trying to get his bearing in this alien environment. “Do you remember what I told you while you were recovering?”
“Y—Yes…” The displaced reporter looked around for a moment, noting that the man hadn’t taken a seat again but was now standing behind Zara. “You said your name is Zara.” Clark focused his attention on Zara’s… he couldn’t help but think of the other guy as a bodyguard. “But I haven’t yet had the chance to learn your name…?”
The stone-faced man turned more fully towards Clark, and it looked as if he stood even straighter than he had before. Clark was surprised that was even possible, because even as Superman, he had never appeared this formal and forbidding as this man did right now. “I am Lieutenant Ching, advisor, bodyguard, and defender to the death to the Royal Lady Zara of the noble House of Ra on Krypton.”
Clark offered him a slightly uncomfortable smile as he rose and offered the man his hand. “Clark Kent, nice meeting you. I don’t believe I’ve had a chance to thank you yet for the change of clothes.” When Ching didn’t appear to take the offered hand, Clark sunk back down. Somehow, he got the feeling that the whole ‘defender to the death’ bit had been more than just an empty phrase. Especially if he added the look he had received during that little speech. That stare had carried more of a threat than the look of open mistrust and implied warning he had received from George Lang when he had taken Lana to the Junior Prom.
His eyes returned to Zara, and he tried to lighten the atmosphere a bit. “Royal Lady? Um… you said you were my wife, and so does this mean that I’m…”
“You are Lord Kal-El,” Zara interrupted him. “And you are the heir to the throne of Krypton.”
**********
Janice Cox, better known to her associates as Mrs. Cox, held on tightly to the small carry-on bag as she made her way through Chicago Union Station. To say that the past two days had been harrowing would be a colossal understatement, but at least she had managed to steer free of the investigation that had followed the suicide of her former employer.
Of course, there was nothing to guarantee that she wouldn’t become a person of interest as soon as the D.A. was done sifting through all the records seized after Luthor’s fall from grace. And so she had opted for the anonymity of a train-ride out of Dodge as soon as she had felt strong enough to leave the hospital without collapsing right then and there.
Janice carefully touched the tender spot on her scalp where she had been hit during those fateful events before she let her hand drop back to her side. She probably should count herself lucky; from what she had read in the newspaper, Nigel was still in the hospital, and she hadn’t heard squat about what had happened to Asabi.
She shook off the notion and focused on the exit several yards away. That life was behind her now, and all that counted was the future. Fortunately for her, she was not only in the possession of Kryptonite, no, she also knew someone who might be interested in buying. Three months ago, she had seen it as a personal affront when the old buzzard had survived the potassium chloride attack. Now, it was a career opportunity.
**********
“Lois?” Martha asked again, and Lois forced her mind back to the here and now. “What’s going on?” she carried on as she led the younger woman farther into the farmhouse.
Lois looked around the room. It hadn’t changed at all since she had last been here. And why should it have? It had probably been the same homey living room since Clark had been a little boy, complete with warm colors and the aroma of fresh baking in the air. Her eyes fell on a canvas. “New painting…?”
“Hmm?” Martha mumbled distractedly before catching on. “Oh, yes. I’ve been dabbling in abstracts lately…”
Lois nodded absentmindedly at the colorful swirls, but since her hostess didn’t seem inclined to go into it further, Lois didn’t remark on it either. Instead, she chose to turn left, towards the dining area before she started with almost a whisper, “There’s something I have to tell you…”
Martha was immediately at her side, her hands pulling at Lois’s arm, her eyes frightful again, her voice wavering, “Has something happened to my boy? Jonathan and I, we’ve both seen the news. We knew about Clark’s suspicions about Luthor, and we haven’t heard from him in three days…” Lois could see and feel that the usually steady woman was shaking. “Did he…? Is he…? Please, don’t tell me…?”
“N–… No,–”
“Martha?” Jonathan’s voice preceded his entrance from the kitchen just by a second. “What’s going–” His face grew more animated. “Lois! Now that’s a surprise…”
“Lois?” Martha interjected.
Jonathan then seemed to notice the pent-up tension because his voice turned serious. “Martha, what’s going on?”
There was only a sob from Martha, and Lois hastened to get to explaining things. Or at least, alleviate the immediate fears. “No, Clark’s all right. Sort of. It’s just…” Lois could feel the relief in Martha immediately when the vise-grip on her arm lessened. She took a deep breath while letting her eyes wander back and forth between both Kents before she settled on staring at the wooden floor in front of the dinner table. “It’s a long story and I…”
“Then you should sit!” Martha interjected and started to pull Lois forward again. “Whatever it is, I’m sure we can talk about it much easier while we’re sitting.”
Lois offered the woman a timid smile and a nod of thanks as she let herself be steered the rest of the way.
“I’ve just finished a fresh batch of double-chocolate-chip cookies,” Martha offered after Lois had taken a seat. “How about I get them, and then you can tell us what’s going on?”
A hint of a smile traveled over Lois’s face as she whispered a thank you. She still remembered the delectable treat from her last visit and the odd late night stint at Clark’s place when he had gotten a care package out and treated Lois to a reminder of Midwestern lifestyle. Of course, now she knew why the cookies had always been fresh. <The fink!> she thought before her thoughts turned darker again.
“Lois?” Jonathan asked with a friendly palm on her forearm. “What has happened?”
She was just about to start when Martha walked in, carrying a tray with a plate of cookies, a jug of milk, and three glasses. “Jonathan, let the girl catch a breath!” She put the tray down and offered Lois one of the dark brown cookies. “Here, honey. You will feel better once you have some chocolate in you.”
Lois smiled dolefully and took a dutiful bite, closing her eyes as the still-warm treat dissolved in her mouth. She had forgotten what they tasted like when their aroma developed and turned to melting luxury on her tongue. Despite her morose state of mind, the chocoholic in her couldn’t help but enjoy the delicacy. She licked the crumbs off her fingers before she looked guiltily to Martha and Jonathan. They both had big smiles on their faces, and Lois shyly averted her eyes. “Clark…” she started before grabbing for the glass of milk that had appeared in front of her to take a big gulp. “I really should start…”
“Take all the time you need,” Martha encouraged her. “To know that our boy is safe is the most important thing now. The rest, that’s just details…”
<Yeah, some details,> Lois mused in resignation before she gathered all the courage she had left. “That’s just it! I was just about to marry Luthor when this weird couple showed up and told me that they needed my help. Clark was in danger, they said; only it wasn’t Clark, it was Superman they were talking about, but I had no idea.” There was a sharp intake of breath from both Kents, but Lois didn’t pause. “So, anyway, they took me down into the wine cellar, and there he was in a cage made of Kryptonite.”
“Kryptonite?” Jonathan asked apprehensively.
“My poor boy!” Martha exclaimed fearfully.
“Luthor!” Lois spat through her babble. “He had him down there for I don’t know how long, and there was no key, and I had to get him out, and I was all alone because Zara and Ching, they couldn’t help me because they’re from Krypton, too.” Lois looked back and forth between the shocked faces of Clark’s parents. “I mean, you know he’s from Krypton, right?” Not able to control the urge to move any longer, Lois sprung to her feet and started pacing in front of the older couple. “What am I saying? Of course, you know he’s from Krypton. He told me so himself; so he told you, too, and I put it in the paper, and I had to get an axe, and the lock wouldn’t break, and when I finally got him out, he wasn’t even moving, and I was dragging him out of there on his cape that you made for him.” She looked into the saucer-sized eyes of Martha. “And it was one hell of a cape, didn’t tear for most the way, and when I had him out of there, we went home, and they told me that he was supposed to marry her, and they would take him with them so he could be their ruler, and I had no idea what to do, except that Superman had only been here on borrowed time, and that it was time for him to go home to his people, and I said good bye to him, and he told me that Clark loved me, and I went to see Clark, but he wasn’t home, and Perry told me that Clark was Superman, and now I’m here to tell you that your son is all the way across the universe because I had no idea, and I’m so sorry!”
The last of her explanation came out between hiccups, and when she was finished, Martha was there to wrap her into her arms. Clark’s mother held her tight as the pent-up sobs raged through the young woman. Lois felt herself slowly relaxing; she could finally let go of the tension that had built up since she’d learned about what she’d inadvertently done.
**********
“The throne of Krypton?!” Clark exclaimed stupefied. “But I’m just a reporter. I’m the son of farmers. I… I… I have a *life* on *Earth*. I can’t–”
He didn’t get any further because Ching chose that moment to intervene. “Do not embarrass yourself or the Lady Zara, Kal-El.” The bodyguard had started to walk around the table, towards Clark, his arms clasped behind his back. “You are the son of Jor-El, sprung forth from the union of the Houses of Lo and El, two of our oldest and most noble families. You have obligations and responsibilities, and it is my sad duty to ensure that you are indeed worthy of your heritage.”
The entire speech had been delivered in a measured and respectful tone, but now that he was staring straight up at Ching’s imposing form, Clark felt like a schoolboy, caught cheating during a math test. It grated, and not just because he had never cheated during a math test.
“Excuse me?” Clark shot back as he stood, finally able to meet the ‘lieutenant’ at eye-level. “Do you really believe that you have a right to be this self-righteous?” His opponent didn’t blink but merely stared back at him, unwavering, observing, calculating. “I never asked to be taken from my home, my family, my friends, without so much as even a word until *she*–” Clark pointed at Zara, who sat frozen with wide eyes, watching both men spare off. “–woke me up and told me that I’m married. To *her*!”
A frightening implication suddenly popped into his mind. “Lois!” Clark grabbed with both hands for Ching, trying to get a grip on the sleek bodysuit and when finding none, he resorted to pushing the man backwards against the bulkhead behind him. “What have you done to Lois? I swear, if you hurt her in any way then by God I will–”
“Kal-El.”
Zara’s voice penetrated his raging mind, but he ignored it. Instead, he projected all the anger he had felt for Luthor onto this new nemesis.
“Kal-El!”
Zara’s voice was more pronounced now, and Ching gripped Clark’s wrists, working to push him away.
“Clark!” she called him again, her hand on his shoulder.
“What!” The furious farmer’s son turned around, releasing his grip on Ching as he glared at Zara. “What have you done to Lois?” he implored her, begging with his voice and eyes that she was all right.
“Nothing,” Zara replied calmly. Far too calmly for a human. “Lois is unharmed. You talked to her before we left. Do you remember?”
Clark forced himself to calm down, to steady his heart. She was right. Lois had talked to him. She had told him that he had lost his powers. He worked hard to remember her words; the Kryptonite must have really knocked him out because normally he could easily recall every moment he had spent with Lois.
<‘Us has been a fantasy.’>
<‘But I’m still going to miss you.’>
<‘Superman, you will never be an ordinary man. It doesn’t matter if you’re here or on Krypton.’>
“You told her, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice defeated. “You told her that you were going to take me with you.”
“Yes.”
He looked back at Lieutenant Ching, who was readjusting his uniform, although what could possibly be out of place, Clark couldn’t tell. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that. It’s just... I’ve had a couple of really stressful days.” He received only a blank stare in return, seasoned with a hint of contempt before Ching moved to stand behind Zara.
Something still nagged at his mind. He started pacing as he tried to remember more of the details, working to sort between hallucinations caused by the Kryptonite fever and real events.
Suddenly, the veil lifted, and he remembered more bits from their last conversation.
<‘You still need to talk to Clark.’>
<‘I’m sure Clark will be able to help you.’>
<‘Clark.’>
<‘Clark.’>
<‘Clark.’>
The whole way through their farewell she had never called *him* Clark. And neither had he. Lois, she didn’t know. He hadn’t told her. She hadn’t seen past the spandex. To her, he had been just Superman when she had sent him away. Nobody had told his parents. Nobody was there to tell Lois where Clark had gone.
<‘He loves you.’>
<‘I know.’>
“I need to go home!” he exclaimed.
There was a distinct sigh from Ching, but Zara simply told him, “I am afraid that is not going to be possible.”
**********
tbc
**********
The assignment:
Three things I want in my fic:
1. Clark surprising Lois
2. A familiar setting used in an unusual way
3. Chocolate
Preferred season(s)/holiday [if applicable]: any
Three things I do not want in my fic:
1. Luthor
2. Mxyzptlk
3. Clark showing Lois how good Christmas can be
