Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Jolly St. Clark (1/2)

Jolly St. Clark - TOC

By: VirginiaR.

Rated: PG – for some mild language.

Description: This story is the missing Christmas episode from S1.

Set: I have set it after MoSB and Witness, but before PML. For continuity, I have returned Witness to its rightful spot after MoSB (Thanks, Kathy). MoSB is set in November, Witness has obvious Christmas décor, and PML seems so Valentine’s Day, even if originally broadcast in late November 1993. Then as I was writing I was thinking PML might also work for New Year’s! (if one discounts the whole fruit fly spraying thing, which everyone knows really wouldn’t happen until spring.)

Author’s Note: For plotting purposes, the Cost Mart “Grand Opening” scene in S2’s CoM was not Metropolis’s first Cost Mart store.

***

Part 1

Lois turned the aisle and literally bumped into Clark. His shopping cart was filled to the top with holiday decorations, lights, wreathes, garlands, ornaments, candy canes, the works. And toys. Lots and lots of toys.

She caught his eye and raised an eyebrow. “Getting into the holiday spirit, there, Clark?” she asked.

He smiled sheepishly. “Hi, Lois. What brings you to Cost Mart?”

“Holiday shopping. Same as you.”

Clark made the obvious crane of his neck to her almost empty cart. There were two pairs of gloves, a scarf, and checkered suspenders.

“Okay,” Lois amended. “Not the same as you, Jolly St. Clark.”

“Didn’t you get Perry checkered suspenders for his birthday?” he inquired.

Lois’s eyes grew large for a moment in panic. “Those aren’t for Perry,” she exclaimed quickly, too quickly. “They’re for my dad.”

“Oh.” He seemed almost embarrassed by his accurate guess, which she had made him think was a mistake.

She had planned on giving them to Perry. Now, she thought peevishly, she couldn’t. Now, she had to think of another gift for their editor. Thanks, Clark. Thanks a lot!

The lull of silence grew into awkwardness. Their banter had become more and more uncomfortable this week since he had saved her life – literally – on more than one occasion. First from the skateboarder who had pushed her into traffic and then from Mr. Make-Up, Sebastian Finn. She wasn’t quite sure why it made her uncomfortable. Superman saved her life all the time – well, not all the time, but often enough – and their discussions hadn’t become this strained. But as soon as it was Clark doing the saving, suddenly… Lois sighed. He seemed like a new person somehow. Or maybe it was how she viewed him that was different and she didn’t like that. He was her partner after all. She refused see him in another light.

“It’s great that you two are exchanging gifts this year.” Clark smiled encouragingly, breaking the silence. “I know your relationship with your father…”

Lois held up her hand stopping this line of conversation. “Did you really think we stopped giving gifts at Christmas?” she snapped. Again, he had guessed right. But it would take hell and high water before she would ever admit it.

“I had assumed…” Clark started saying. “… from the way you two had acted at Menken’s gym earlier this year…”

“There you go again, Kent, assuming relationships or non-relationships in my life,” retorted Lois, annoyed.

Actually, she wasn’t quite sure why she was annoyed. She just was. Maybe it was because Clark had pointed that keen sense of observation and his reporter skills to her personal life. Perhaps it was because when she had mentioned a date with Lex Luthor recently and Clark had said – no, not verbally, but distinctly non-verbally – mentioned his dislike for the man. Or maybe it was because he had taken upon himself to become her bodyguard, like she was something or someone valuable that needed protecting. Or possibly it was because Clark was entirely too happy that the holidays were upon them once more. Yes! That must be it. Of course, he would like Christmas, little Clarkie sunshine!

Lois needed to do something to pop his rose-colored bubble. Yes! That was what Lois Lane would give her partner, a big ol’ dose of reality. She let go of her cart and took his arm, dragging him off down the aisle.

“Lois, my cart!” he sputtered.

“Calm down, Kent. I’m not kidnapping you.” She shot him an evil grin, causing him to swallow nervously. “I’m just showing you something.”

“Of course, you are, Lois,” he replied as if she was always hauling him off on some fool’s errand.

They stopped near a huge group of mothers with snot-nosed children, standing in line to see Santa. “Look at that!” she announced, flinging her arm out at the crowd.

“And?” Clark inquired.

“You aren’t disgusted by this?” Lois said in shock, before catching herself. “Of course not. I bet this is exactly how everyone in Smallville pictures Christmas in Metropolis. This commercial cesspool of germs and greed.”

“What?” He shook his head in confusion. “It’s just a department store Santa, Lois. What’s wrong with that?”

“Oh, Clark,” she said with a mouthful of pity. “I bet this is where every family with a child comes to catch the winter flu. Look at all those whining children with dripping noses… no, even worse! Look where they end up! Santa looks more homeless than Ho, Ho, Ho. His wig is ratty. His beard is fake…”

Clark grabbed her arm and dragged her away down another aisle with more strength than she knew he possessed. “Lois,” he hissed under his breath. “I know Christmas isn’t in your top ten holidays…” He paused to give a chance to rebut; instead she agreed with a shrug of her shoulders. “But it’s theirs. Those children with the dripping noses who begged Mom to drag them down to meet Santa, so they could get a good word in with the big man before the big date. So don’t ruin it for them, please. If for no other reason than Perry will tan your hide for decreasing circulation of the Daily Planet if any of those good folk out there tie the woman who ruined Christmas for their child to your name.”

Tan her hide? “What planet are you from?” she replied with anger, throwing her hand back the way they had come. “Most of those kids are terrified of Santa. Judge and jury of their ‘goodness’ and ‘naughtiness’. The only reason that they’re in that line is because Mom is hoping for a photo of her darling child in ‘Santa’s’ lap. And this after all they’ve ever were told is ‘don’t talk to strangers’, ‘don’t touch strangers’, and, oh, don’t forget ‘never accept candy from strangers’, except this one!”

Then Clark said the three words, she had rarely heard from him and never thought she would again, especially since they had become partners. The phrase she would dream about for months in fantasies. It made her body tingle and throb with desire.

“You’re right, Lois.”

She was so stunned by the suddenness of it, she almost replied, “I am?” Instead she said, “Of course, I am. Which is why all Santas should have a thorough back-ground check, especially for sexual predator charges. They should be well paid, well groomed, and preferably with natural grey or white hair, and a beard.”

“In Smallville everyone knew the Santa. It wasn’t a position given to the town ne’er-do-well, but one of honor.” Clark sighed wistfully. “My dad was Santa last year…” His voice faded and he sniffled.

Lois forgot that Clark was all alone this year. As low man on the reporting totem pole he was required to work the holidays his first year. Plus, he got himself extra well stuck in Metropolis after quitting – when Superman was almost banished from town last month during the heat wave – and using up any vacation days he had accrued. She knew that there wouldn’t be the time nor money to jet half-way across the country home for one day. His parents probably couldn’t change their plans and come out here to be with him; therefore, her partner would be reluctantly alone for the holidays. And the closest thing he had to a friend in town was standing in front of him at that very moment. Her! Yet, until she had started on her personal vendetta to Grinch the Christmas out of her partner, he had seemed genuinely happy.

“I’m sorry, Clark,” Lois said softly, placing her hand on his arm.

Clark responded with a smile. She wasn’t sure if it was real, but she knew it was well-intentioned. “And I made a vow to myself a few years ago, no matter my circumstances I would never wallow in self-pity at this time of year. Instead of focusing on myself, I give to others and I find it bolsters my spirit throughout the whole year.” He nodded. “I agree with your assessment of the Cost Mart Santa though. Unfortunately, it’s too late to make a difference this year. But if you feel so passionately about it, Lois, maybe Perry would let you write something for the Op Ed page.” Then Clark walked off, returning to his cart.

Too late? It was never too late to make a difference. She marched over to Cost Mart’s management office to offer up her services.

***

“You should take it as a compliment, Lois,” Perry told her the next morning.

“A compliment? Ha!” she snorted.

Perry grinned. “You must have some reputation as an investigative reporter, honey, if they have your name and photo on a blacklist.”

Lois’s eyes brightened. “Why though? I just wanted to investigate Santa, not Cost Mart itself. What are they afraid I’ll find?”

Their gaze met over Perry’s desk. “Bill Church is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Lois. He wouldn’t be involved in something illegal,” Perry warned her.

“What are they hiding, then, Perry?” She raised a brow. “Why don’t they want me sniffing around their store?”

Perry paused long enough for Lois to take it as an agreement for the story. She leapt out of her chair and bolted for the door before he could change his mind. “Thanks, Chief.”

“Now, hold your horses, young lady,” Perry said, following her out into the newsroom.

“Chief,” Jimmy said, coming between them and standing with his shoulders back, full of determination he hadn’t before then possessed. “I want you to give me a reporting assignment.”

“Not now, Jimmy!” Perry growled, trying to maneuver around the young man.

“Then when, sir?”

“You aren’t ready, Olsen,” Perry barked.

“But, Chief…” Jimmy’s shoulders started to sag, but their boss stormed back into his office grumbling and slammed his door.

Lois suddenly got one of her brilliant ideas and called to Jimmy from her desk. “I think you’re ready.”

Jimmy’s jaw dropped in shock. “You do?”

“Yes.” She left it at that. She might not know how to fish, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to use a lure.

Jimmy sidled up to her desk. “Thanks, Lois. That means a lot coming from you.”

“There are just some stories, I believe you’d be uniquely qualified for…” she said off-hand, hinting that there was more but not yet revealing anything.

The young man sat down in the chair next to her desk. “Really?”

“Of course. Take the assignment I was about to suggest to Clark…” She lowered her voice conspiratorially with a glance over at her partner.

Clark looked up from his typing and caught her eye. Damn! How did he always know when she was talking about him?

“I think you’d be a much better match for the story – the undercover work – that is. But it could be something big… maybe even dangerous… “ Lois let her voice fade off as if reconsidering the idea.

There was no way she could get Clark to go undercover for her story. Anyway, no matter how much the man loved kids, the holidays, or the man in the red suit, Clark would never be hired as one of Santa’s elves at Cost Mart. He was too tall, too brawny, too… Oh, God! She was picturing him in that elf uniform and the man even made that look good. Like he was built for uniforms or spandex tights or something. She swallowed. Right. Jimmy.

“No, I better offer it to Clark first, being that he’s got more experience at undercover work.” She sighed, trying to sound disappointed.

Clark rolled his eyes and shook his head as if responding to the suggestion she had never planned on offering him. Still… Clark in green short-shorts, red striped tights, and those cute little red and green vests, not to mention that hat. She bit her bottom lip, picturing Clark in that uniform again and again liking what she saw. A grin slipped onto her face. Hot stuff! What in the hell was she thinking? She shook her head.

“Okay,” Jimmy said sadly, standing up in defeat.

Oops! She was about to lose her fish. “Of course…” Lois paused as Jimmy sat back down all-ears. “You’re a much better match.”

“Why aren’t you doing it, Lois?” Jimmy asked, unexpectedly wary.

“Regrettably, I did try,” Lois told him, her annoyance at being rejected shining through. “They wanted…” Someone younger? Less well-known journalistically? A-ha! “A man. And even though we both know, I do a great impression of a man. They were looking for someone…” She gazed at Jimmy, taking in his whole persona. What could she say that he would believe that he had that she didn’t? “Stronger.”

Jimmy’s shoulders went back instinctually with this compliment. “Stronger?” He didn’t want to believe her, she could tell. But that little movement informed her that he had bought her load of dung – hook, line, and sinker. Like Jimmy would ever be stronger than her? Ha! But she wouldn’t argue this one point, being that she had him just where she wanted him.

The young man swallowed. “And you think I’d be a better match than CK?”

Uh-oh! There went Jimmy’s skepticism again.

“Oh, not because of that.” Lois laughed, taking another glance across the room at her well-defined partner. Of course, how many jars of food had she opened for that man? “You have other qualities that make you more suited for this story,” she responded vaguely.

“Give me a chance to show Perry I’ve got what it takes, Lois,” Jimmy pleaded with her.

“Oh, I don’t know, Jimmy,” Lois pretended to hem and haw. “Well, okay,” she finally gave in. “But if you come across something… anything, you’ve got to call me and Clark for back-up.”

Jimmy practically floated to his feet with joy. “What do you need me to do?”

Lois grinned larger than Cat in a room full GQ models.

***

“Have you got any place to be for Christmas Eve dinner?” Lois overheard Cat ask Clark the next morning before the meeting.

Oh, please! Was the woman still after Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? How many times did a man have to say ‘no’? How many times had he said ‘no’? And the sixty-four thousand dollar question: why did Lois care?

“I’m working Christmas,” he responded as if the gossip queen wasn’t asking him out. “You?”

“Dinner with my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brother, and cousins,” Cat told him. “The Grants love Christmas. I bet one more wouldn’t even be noticed.”

Smooth. Lois rolled her eyes.

“Hhmmm,” Clark responded non-committally. Did he not know that Cat had just asked him out? Point blank? Can we say ‘dense much’?

“The food’s really good,” Cat coaxed.

Clark’s brow furrowed as if he just realized it had been an invitation. “Oh?” Then he glanced at Lois – just for a second – before focusing his gaze on Cat. “Thank you, Cat, but I have made…” His eyes darted towards his partner a second time as he paused. “… plans.”

Plans? They most certainly did not have plans! Lois glowered at Clark. At his startled and confused expression, Lois discovered her eavesdropping had become overt. Damn! Now, her partner knew she was interested in his holiday plans, even if she had no idea why she was interested.

“How about you, Lois?” Clark asked, unable to keep her from their private conversation since she had butted in. “Do you have any plans?”

“If you must know,” Lois admitted. “I too am working this Christmas.”

“Oh! I see, how it is,” Cat implied, as her gaze went back and forth between Lois and Clark.

“No!” Lois denied adamantly. “I always work Christmas!”

“Right,” said Cat in disbelief.

“And since I tendered my resignation during the heat wave, I volunteered to work the holidays, so everyone else could spend it with their families,” Clark explained with a knowing look to his partner.

Oh, God! Clark wasn’t expecting Lois to take the day off and spend the holiday with her family, was he? Anything but that!

“I don’t do Christmas with my family,” Lois mumbled under her breath as Perry walked into the conference room.

“Where in blue blazes is Olsen?” yelled Perry.

“Jimmy’s working on something for me,” Lois confessed.

“Lo-is,” Perry growled, knowing exactly what. “You didn’t, honey?”

The young man in question marched into the conference room decked out in red and white striped socks, bright green knickers, the cherry-apple red and green vest, elfin shoes that curled up at the toes, and a hat that had built-in pointed ears and jingle bells. “She did,” he announced.

The entire office burst into snickers.

“Go ahead,” Jimmy said, slowly spinning around, his arms out-stretched. “Get it out of your system.”

The snickers turned to outright laughter.

Lois clapped with delight. “Jimmy, you got the job!”

He pulled off his hat and dropped it on the table. “Strength! Ha!” he grumbled, sticking his nose in her face.

“Strength of character,” Lois said, defending her weak argument.

“You owe me, Lane,” he replied.

She smiled demurely. “Undercover work is undercover work, Jimmy. It’s not always pretty.”

“A better match than CK, huh? I’d like to see him try to work for Santa,” Jimmy griped, leaning against the wall behind Lois and Clark.

“Hey!” Clark said in his defense.

“Sorry, big guy. But I can’t picture you in this outfit,” Jimmy admitted.

“I can,” Lois murmured under her breath to herself. She glanced again at Clark and noticed he was staring at her with his mouth agape. He hadn’t heard her, had he? No. Impossible.

“If you are finished with your fun, I’d like to get back to running a newspaper,” Perry stated loudly, instantly quieting the room. “Eduardo, have you finished your series on the environmental impact of Metropolis’s boiling aquifer?”

***

Lois gave Jimmy a list of things she wanted him to check out regarding the Cost Mart Santa and sent him on his way. She went over to Clark’s desk and saw him shaking his head.

“What?” she inquired.

“I can’t believe it. Actually, I don’t know why it surprises me. You’re really spying on Santa,” he told her.

“No, Clark. I’m investigating Cost Mart and the man pretending to be Santa. I want to make sure he’s not some crazy, diseased lunatic,” she replied.

“Lois, crazy and lunatic mean the same thing,” he corrected her.

“Thank you, Einstein,” she snapped. “It was your idea. Have you changed your mind?”

He sighed. “What I’m wondering is why you aren’t the one bedecked in green and red?”

She sneered and responded with a slight pout, “They rejected me.”

“Not enough Christmas cheer?” he asked with mock-shock and plenty of mirth.

“No. If you must know, I was at the top of a list of do-not-hires in their management office,” she informed him.

His brow furrowed as he thought about that. “They have a blacklist for journalists? A retail store? Even a big chain like Cost Mart.” This seemed to stump him. “Why?”

“My sentiments exactly! And precisely why I sent Jimmy in.”

“Jimmy?” Clark said, questioning her choice of undercover operatives.

She grinned. “I agree it was your turn for the goofy suit as I wore the chicken outfit during the last assignment, but …” She shrugged, knowing Clark would never have agreed to work for Cost Mart during the holiday season, let alone dressed up as an elf. He just didn’t seem the costume type of guy. She decided to go with the less offensive route. “I figured if I was on their blacklist, as my partner, you probably were too.”

“Really?” he replied skeptically. “You’ve got three Kerths under your belt and, as you’ve reminded me on numerous occasions, I’m just a hack from Nowheresville.”

She raised a brow. “Well, if you want to march down to Cost Mart and fill out an application, I’m sure that Jimmy…”

“I never said that!” Clark pointed out. Then he smiled. “Although, I’ve heard I do look good in green.”

Lois flushed. Had he heard her? “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said and quickly changed the subject. “So, what are your holiday plans?” Oh, geez. Why had she asked that?

His smile grew larger. “As I mentioned before, I’m working.”

Her eyes turned to slits. “You didn’t sign up for the Christmas shift because you knew I would be working it too, did you?”

“And you’re so irresistible that I can’t stay away from you?” he asked rhetorically with a hint of cynicism.

Rhetorically, because there was no way in heaven Clark ever expected an answer to such a ridiculous question. Lois harrumphed and returned to her desk.

Of course, she was so irresistible to him that he couldn’t stay away! Wasn’t that why he begged to be her partner until Perry caved? Wasn’t that why he never seemed to respond to Cat’s blatant attempts to seduce him? Wasn’t that why he was always offering to walk her home? Wasn’t that why he went undercover at the Metro Club to keep an eye on her? Wasn’t that why he had kissed her goodbye on the lips when he quit the paper? Wasn’t that why he had sat outside her door all night after she witnessed that murder last week? Wasn’t that why he hated Lex Luthor? Did her partner just have a crush or was he half in love with her?

Lois looked over at Clark, adrenaline rushing through her veins. He was busy typing on his computer, oblivious to her thoughts. Was he in love with her? Really? Lois wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that.

Luckily at the moment, her phone rang.

“Lois Lane.”

“Lois,” said Lex into her ear.

“Lex,” Lois replied with enthusiasm and relief. She needed a good distraction from thinking about Clark’s possible feelings for her. And even more distraction from how she felt about him… it!

“I’ve had a change of plans and was wondering what you were doing on Friday night?” he asked.

Lois watched as Clark got up from his desk. Her eyes followed him as he disappeared in the direction of the store room. Had he heard Lex ask her out? Was Clark jealous? No, she must be leaping to conclusions again. How could Clark possibly hear what Lex was saying to her from across the room?

“Friday,” she repeated and then realized she wasn’t concentrating on her conversation with Lex. “Friday?”

Lois waited for Clark to reappear.

“Yes, Friday. This next Friday.”

She glanced at her calendar as if to recheck the date. Christmas Eve?

Oh, God! Was Lex Luthor asking her to spend Christmas Eve with him? Should she say ‘yes’? Did she want to? Did she really want to spend Christmas with a man whose nuclear power plant had made it hit over hundred degrees in November in Metropolis? Even if it had been inadvertently? Could she blame Lex personally for a problem at one of his companies? No, she guessed not.

Clark did say he would be working Christmas so others could have the day off. To spend with their families. Lex Luthor was not family. And Clark did not like him, didn’t trust him. Would it offend Clark if she agreed to go off with Lex while knowing that Clark liked her for more than friends and disliked Luthor? Or would he become more jealous? Did she want him to be more jealous?

What exactly would that be saying to Lex?

What exactly would that be saying to Clark?

What would it be saying to Perry after agreeing to work Christmas?

Should Clark’s opinion make a difference on whether or not she should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to Luthor? It shouldn’t. It was her life after all.

Did she like him enough to spend the holiday with him? What did it mean if she did spend the holiday with him? Would it be admitting feelings for him that she wasn’t sure that she had? She swallowed.

It was times like this Lois wished she had a family event to use as an excuse to get out of seeing either man. Yikes! What was she thinking? This decision was less torture than being even on the telephone with her family. Telephone! Lex.

“Why don’t I tell you what I’ve got going on and we’ll see if that fits in with your plans?” Lois finally replied, wondering why Clark still hadn’t returned from the store room.

***End of Part 1***

Part 2

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