Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
KenJ Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Comments are always welcome.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Okay. Now, this is the third time I've read this part and it already sounds better, clearer than the previous two versions. clap

Quote
She was wearing a smart dress suit in dark burgundy, a short jacket over a dark red silk, scoop neck blouse (which showed off an ample amount of cleavage), a very short burgundy skirt and high heeled pumps in red, which showed off her legs quite nicely.
Herb!

Quote
Yes, Uh, I would like to speak with Lois Lane-Kent if you please.”.
Did canon Lois officially take Clark's last name?

Quote
We recently purchased the old Delfino mansion out on Wisteria Lane.
clap

Quote
What Herb couldn’t see since the door to the kitchen was closed was that after filling the tea pot with water Lois simply looked at it for a few seconds and it started to boil. She was careful to do everything else at normal human speed so that Herb wouldn’t suspect. She projected a thought to Clark /Be careful on how much you say. Remember what Herb 1917 said. “Too much information too soon is not good.”/
twins (or 3! no, 4! for Clark)? Or since they are old enough they've been let in on the secret? We're the kids at CJ's wedding?

This version is more clear, but it ruins to whole surprise / mystery that young Lois and older Lois are the same person! I love that from the earlier version. It's good to keep the reader guessing. I would take out Lois's & Clark's thoughts / telepathic messages, so that surprise for the reader is still there and the scene remains fully in Wells POV. But maybe that's just me. wink

Now, I've got to read on to find out what happened to canon Lois. And that tease about alt-Clark!


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
KenJ Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Quote
” Okay. Now, this is the third time I've read this part and it already sounds better, clearer than the previous two versions”

Hopefully third time's the charm.

Quote
“Did canon Lois officially take Clark's last name?”

I don't think that was really discussed in detail but if she had hyphenated it she could legitimately continue to used Lois Lane.

Quote
"HOW did Lois get Clark's powers!?! Is this another aura bounce? So, not only telepathy, but also heat vision and speed! Is she UW again?! This is NEW!"

You’ll just have to read the rest to find out.

Quote
“Love the necklace BTW. Is that your design?”

No, I found it on e-bay and saved the picture. I am hosting the picture on my site because it disappeared from e-bay.

Quote
“So do the kids know that Mom and Dad are each two people (or 3! no, 4! for Clark)? Or since they are old enough they've been let in on the secret? We're the kids at CJ's wedding?”

This story is more or less exclusively about this one incident, but in other volumes that is explained.

Quote
“This version is more clear, but it ruins to whole surprise / mystery that young Lois and older Lois are the same person! I love that from the earlier version. It's good to keep the reader guessing. I would take out Lois's & Clark's thoughts / telepathic messages, so that surprise for the reader is still there and the scene remains fully in Wells POV. But maybe that's just me. ”

That was a mistake on my part and I have corrected it.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5