|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Once Upon a Dream - TOC I hope you enjoyed my story full of cheese, corn, and whine for Valentine's Day.  Please throw all rotten tomatoes here. Praise will also be accepted, though not expected. 
Last edited by VirginiaR; 05/09/14 01:14 AM. Reason: Added Link
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
If that's what was on the cutting room floor no wonder that everything you write is so good.  Tremendous story. 
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 635
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 635 |
Eeeeep!! The closer I got to the end, the faster my head was screaming 'omg!omg!' over and over!
Soooo good!
I'm thinking of becoming your cleaning lady, so I can sweepyour cutting room floor and see what else you think isnt worthy of posting!
.talk nerdy to me.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Ken Thank you.  I often write scenes that don't tend to work out for one reason or another. Characters know too much too soon, Clark isn't as nice as Clark should be (i.e. let's his anger loose -- this happens more with alt-Clark than canon Clark), or scenes that reveal too much to the reader too soon. I don't want to tell you how long my ML deleted scenes folder ended up being (actually, I cannot tell you because it's disappeared from my hard drive  ), but let's just say it was long. Sometimes, I move a scene I'm editing over there, in case I decide I liked the original scene better than the newly edited scene. Or if I have a favorite line that I can't use at that point but might want to use in the future. The reason I called this story "my cutting room floor" story was because it didn't meet my expectations... it didn't feel right, so I felt like I kept writing stuff that didn't work. First Kiss was it working. Once upon a dream... was everything I wrote (rewrote) to get to what I wanted. It doesn't necessarily mean it was bad, per se, just not what I wanted. Okay, that scene with Stoke with almost verbatim taken from the show with not much added... hence why I called it bad... bad as in I didn't add anything of my own (naughty writer). I have tendancy to write fast and write a lot and not trim off the fat (really? you say, surprising as he turns to his third screen of this FDK reply). With First Kiss I learned, sometimes 'Less is More'. So, thank you. I'll shut up now. (No, I don't understand Lois's rambling tendencies, why do you ask?)
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Originally posted by MrsLuthor:
Eeeeep!! The closer I got to the end, the faster my head was screaming 'omg!omg!' over and over!
Soooo good!
I'm thinking of becoming your cleaning lady, so I can sweepyour cutting room floor and see what else you think isnt worthy of posting! Thank you.  Well, Mrs. Luthor, I'm always posting as challenges story ideas that I don't have time to write. Maybe we should start a thread entitled "Lines I Love, but Had to Cut". I've got a bunch of those (of course, my inner hoarder keeps hoping they'll be of use to me someday). I just cut a Batman joke I loved from my newest drama, because it didn't work (for the context and for what Lois knew at that point; the readers on the other hand probably would have chuckled with an :rolleyes: though). /Pst. BTW, Ken, I finally found my ML deleted scenes folder. It was labeled "notes". 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12
Blogger
|
|
Blogger
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12 |
Lucky me, I've read the epilogue just after the Part Two. I hate when I have to wait =D
I definitely agree with the others. Write more, criticize less your work, and everybody will be happy. Your Clark is definitely more audacious than the Clark from the show, but you know what, it's pleasant not to see him wait and wait and wait again for once and do instead. And your Lois is very helpful.
I really like Wall of sound, and it's always a pleasure to read a story which takes places in it, moreover when it's as credible as yours.
I heard that you have one hundred pages for us, didn't I ?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
 So great! All three parts were, but I've only got time to comment on the one... Will save him a lot of future headaches.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Atalide: Thank you. I'll be kinder to myself in the future. Yes, this Clark was a little more bold, but sometimes we are in our dreams. And a part of him thought he was dreaming (part 2). The 100 pages was in reference to deleted scenes from my "Missing Lois" epic story, not this story. You don't want to know how many pages I just sent to my deleted scenes folder from my current longish story. :rolleyes: But that's a whole another topic. Mouserocks: Glad you enjoyed my little twist ending. I'm not sure about saving them from future headaches though. Where would be the fun in that?
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
<Considers settling down to read this with a nice cold drink, but decides against it for all of the laughing I have done so far during this story> Like that dream she just had about making love with Clark.  “I don’t know.” She covered up the mouthpiece of the phone and called out, “Superman, sweetie, were you jealous of Clark sweeping me off of my feet with his kisses last night?” She paused a minute. “He said he was willing to share.”  But this is the *G*fic boards! “Then I dreamed I went to sleep, dreaming of what would have happened if I hadn’t kicked you out last night,” she whispered as she felt her cheeks flush with the truth of that statement.
“Oh, really? I had a similar dream myself.” She could hear the smile in his voice again. “Shall I tell you about it?” Ooooh! “Did I now?” Lois could feel her heart beating against her ribcage. It was just a coincidence that Clark used those words, wasn’t it? Ummm....Nope. “Yes, you did. And that I confessed to you that I am in fact Superman.” “Lois, are you all right? I knew the air was too cold last night. I’m sorry, I should have offered you my jacket,” Clark sounded honestly chagrined. No, no, no, Clark. That's Lois choking on her own spit. “No, Lois. What I’m saying is that without you, I’m just a farm boy from Smallville, Kansas. With you, because of you, I’m Superman,” he told her. <melts> Lois bent down to pick up whatever had fallen. The phone slipped out of her fingers and hit the floor. She could hear Clark’s echoing voice calling to her over the receiver, but she could not move. A bolt of lightning seemed to consume her in its blue flames as the realization that her dream – the one where she had made love to both Clark and Superman – hadn’t been a dream after all. She heard a swoosh of wind and suddenly Superman stood in front of her, wearing her favorite Clark Kent sheepish smile. She pulled her gaze away from his eyes. In the palm of her hand Lois held Clark’s glasses.  I SO did not see that coming! Excellently done! I enjoyed every moment of this hysterical little tale!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Deadly Chakram: Oooh! More FDK!  <Considers settling down to read this with a nice cold drink, but decides against it for all of the laughing I have done so far during this story> Terrible sorry. My next story (stories) are darker more serious works of fiction with which you can bring drinks to enjoy. But this is the *G*fic boards! <<cough, cough>> She's talking to Clark, so Superman isn't really there. Oooh, slightly naughty Clark! I like! Yep, this be one naughty Clark. No, no, no, Clark. That's Lois choking on her own spit. I SO did not see that coming! Excellently done! hee-hee.  I enjoyed every moment of this hysterical little tale! Thank you. /pst. my next vignette was inspired by your latest story "Operation: Cupid" (although, it's nothing like it). Coming up in March for St. Patty's Day. It's currently in the aging process. (And as I mentioned, not LOL inducing. Probably not WAFFy either. Just two lost souls searching for each other - romance. ) In other words: how I procrastinate from working on my current epic saga.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
/pst. my next vignette was inspired by your latest story "Operation: Cupid" (although, it's nothing like it). Coming up in March for St. Patty's Day. It's currently in the aging process. (And as I mentioned, not LOL inducing. Probably not WAFFy either. Just two lost souls searching for each other - romance. ) In other words: how I procrastinate from working on my current epic saga. Procrastinators unite...tomorrow! I'm actually really flattered that Operation: Cupid inspired your next little foray. I look foward to reading it. I've considered doing a St. Patty's Day one myself, but I'm refusing to allow my muse to do anything until she finishes the Alt Universe tale Contractually Bound. Operation: Cupid and The Passing Of A Legend were my two procrastinations from that one. Also, you've got to give me your secret for the aging process. My stories burn a hole in my hard drive. They get finished, edited once or twice and then my muse demands that I post them right away. She's a bit impatient. :p
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
Also, you've got to give me your secret for the aging process. My stories burn a hole in my hard drive. They get finished, edited once or twice and then my muse demands that I post them right away. She's a bit impatient. :p My next story is set on St. Patty's Day, so I couldn't possibly post it before then. Plus, I believe I need to add another line or two to the ending. (I only finished it this afternoon.) Possibly convince a Beta or two to give me feedback. (I've already written a short to go between the Book 1 & Book 2 of my Epic Trilogy I'm writing... but since that's plot based - it can't be posted earlier either.) I didn't age Nightfall Honeymoon and I think it suffered (IMO - plot wise) because of it. I'm currently reviewing it to send it to the Archives and so far, I'm surprised to find there isn't much I'd change. Not that I'm really going to change something THAT much that has already posted to the boards -- after something is written it's written. Any major rewrites, I'd rather put into another story entirely 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,085 Likes: 39
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,085 Likes: 39 |
Had he kissed her so powerfully that she could no longer feel her feet on the ground?  Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Michael: Oh, Clark…
Looo-iiiisssss!
/carefully removes spittle from screen/ Hence the title: "Over the Top" Epilogue. /remembers Jimmy’s ‘Make a man out of me, Lois’ remark/ Must be a running fantasy around the bullpen. Jimmy, Clark, Ralph, Jack. This surprises you? What? You thought all the men wanted Cat? No, no, no. Men want want the forbidden fruit. That which is harder to pluck from the tree. Or have I been reading my manual upsidedown again? Now look at that… Oh, that was…evil, Virginia! Very evil. And on the wrong side of the board Well, I thought, I'd take a chance... since I didn't describe said dream in detail and added the PG-13 warning for the Epilogue. We'll see if it makes it to the Archive or if the 'both Clark and Superman' gets cut. What's the fun in not being a little naughty for Valentine's day?
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,085 Likes: 39
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,085 Likes: 39 |
This surprises you? What? You thought all the men wanted Cat? No, no, no. Men want want the forbidden fruit. That which is harder to pluck from the tree. Or have I been reading my manual upsidedown again? Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Originally posted by Darth Michael: Umm...nono, this was perfectly fine for PG-13. Which would be the above mentioned issue Sorry, this dream will NOT be coming to a Nfic Board near you... at least, not care of me. Anyone else more than willing to try writing it... well, I'm sure it will be readily accepted.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
|
|
|
|
