You can find the
Another Dimension, Another Time, Another Lois[/i] TOC here.
Where we left off in Part 20…“I’m not really insane, you know,” Lois told Jimmy as she got out of the car. “I just feel crazy sometimes. I just learned that Clark’s been lying to me and, well, I didn’t take it well. Actually, I got steaming mad.”
“Right. Lying to you,” Jimmy replied with a total lack of conviction, before mumbling, “Smooth move, CK.”
[i]Tell me about it.
Lois threw her hands up in the air. “You know, Clark, if you want to haunt Jimmy for a while, so you two can insult me in private, feel free to jump ship at any time.”
Jimmy shot her a perplexed look.
I’m sorry, Lois. This is very frustrating for me. As much as I love you, I miss hanging out with Jimmy, Jack, and Perry too. You know, going to baseball games, to action movies, and car shows, just being one of the guys.She rolled her eyes.
“What?” Jimmy asked.
“He misses you,” she translated.
“Misses
me?” her real-life partner said with gulp. “Clark knew me?”
She flipped up one of her hands. “You two were apparently the best of buds.”
“Really?” Jimmy sounded like he didn’t know what to do with that information. “He’s not actually going to haunt me, is he?” he asked, eyeing her warily as they went into the lobby of the Daily Planet.
“Of course not,” Lois scoffed. “If he could, he would have left me by now.”
Don’t say that, Lois. I love you so much , I once wished we could always be together, every moment of the day. Clark laughed quietly to himself.
I guess I should be more careful what I wish for, huh?~Ha ha,~ Lois replied to the voice in her head. “Anyway, I asked him once if he could contact H.G. Wells directly – you know, in the great beyond – and he told me I’m the only one with whom he could communicate.” Her brow furrowed. “Of course that was before he talked to Star.”
They stopped to wait for the elevator, and Jimmy grabbed her shoulders, turning her to face him. “Star, Lois? H.G. Wells – the author?”
Lois waved off those juicy tidbits. “Never mind. It’s not important.” She heard Clark breathe a sigh of relief.
“Right. What exactly did CK lie to you about?” he asked as they stepped into the elevator. It was late enough in the morning that they were alone.
Lois, it’s enough of a stretch to believe that you’ve been contacted directly by a ghost, add in Superman…She looked down at her feet, not knowing what to believe. If she trusted the validity of Clark’s story and her repressed memories, she had to believe that Superman had been real too, that Clark was really and truly Superman.
“Well?” Jimmy inquired after another minute of silence.
“He lied to me about Superman,” she replied as Clark groaned.
Jimmy ran a shaking hand through his hair. “
What about Superman, Lois?”
She glanced up at Jimmy and exhaled.
No, Lois, don’t…“That before Clark was killed, Superman was real.”
***
Part 21“You want to run that past me again?” Perry asked as he leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed with one hand contemplatively sitting on his jaw.
Lois looked over at Jimmy, who shrugged his shoulders in his ‘you walked into this mess on your own free will’ manner, and then back at Perry. Thanks, partner. She went to open her mouth, but the Chief interrupted her, so she closed it again.
“You’re saying that your secret source for your Lex Luthor articles is a ghost?”
“I verified all the information,” Lois defended herself. “Double checked all the facts.”
“Uh-huh,” Perry said with a nod. “A ghost that only communicates with you?”
“And Star…”
Probably best not to mention the psychic, Lois, Clark suggested in his tone that, unlike Jimmy’s shrug, reminded her that, no matter what, he was her true partner.
“Star?” her boss echoed curiously.
Lois waved the name out of the conversation, deciding to take Clark’s advice this one time.
“Star is the psychic that moved into Lois’ building while she was away on vacation,” explained Jimmy.
She pinched her lips together and glared at the young man. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Jimbo.
“Uh-huh. So, what you’re saying is that none of this is real? Our lives are supposed to be completely different, better even, but because some man hitchhiked back in time from the future and killed your friend, currently a ghost, we now have a ‘death ray’ destroying cities?”
Lois smiled nervously, helplessly, as her sanity sounded even more in doubt than before Perry had called them into his office.
“And
why is that exactly?” Perry inquired.
She looked at Jimmy, who held up his hands unwilling to contribute, and then returned her gaze to her boss. “Because Clark, Clark Kent is the man who was killed, if brought back to life will be able to contact a superhero who will fight for truth and justice.” She smiled in such a sheepish way, she wondered if Clark was controlling her lips.
“Superman,” Jimmy clarified.
“Uh-huh.” Perry shifted his position and leaned forward over his desk. “Lois, honey, if you want more vacation time, I have no problem giving it to you. You didn’t need to bring this pile of horse manure…”
“I know this all sounds implausible and crazy, Chief…” Lois stammered, bringing her briefcase into her lap. “It’s taken me months to believe it myself.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’ve got proof!” she said, pulling out the piece of notebook paper and setting it on Perry’s desk.
Her boss looked down at the plastic baggy containing the note H.G. Wells had written to her with her scrawl at the top. Jimmy leaned forward to get a glimpse of this proof himself. Perry lifted up the note and began to read: “‘Clark Kent is real. Research Tempus to rescue Clark from dying in the past. H. G. Wells will help you.’ Darlin’, this is in your handwriting,” he said, dropping the note back down on the desk.
“Well, yes…” she agreed. “But I wrote it when I was back in 1966. I didn’t remember doing so until Star unrepressed my repressed memories this morning.”
“Star? The psychic?” Perry gazed at her sadly. “Honey, let’s go on a wild adventure for a moment and just assume what you’re telling me is true – that time changed completely when your friend Clark was killed as a baby – if that were so, how were you able to go back and visit 1966 to write this note with H.G. Wells?”
Lois opened her mouth and then closed it again.
You’ve come this far, Lois, you might as well go all the way, Clark said supportively.
“Because even though Tempus changed the future, we didn’t erase ourselves from 1966 until we traveled forward in time and H.G. Wells dropped me back in 1995,” Lois explained.
“Uh-huh.” Perry studied Lois for a minute. “So, what you’re telling me is that you’re not crazy because you’re hearing voices, but that you’re on the biggest story of your life?”
Lois sighed and a natural smile graced her lips. Yes! He believed her.
“And that’s why I shouldn’t put you on administrative leave and make you go through mandatory counseling sessions,” Perry continued. “— despite you hearing voices in your head and taking their advice?”
Or not.“Just Clark’s voice,” she snapped, rising her feet. “And he doesn’t give me story leads, Chief. I got all those from my repressed memories, and I independently verified all the information. Clark hasn’t stopped me from being a good reporter; he’s made me a better one!” She grabbed up her notebook paper from Perry’s desk.
Thank you, honey, Clark said, his voice hoarse from her praise.
Hearing Clark reminded her what was at stake. She took a deep breath to calm down her rage. “But what if I’m right?” she asked Perry. “What if Clark is the key to bringing Superman to Earth? What if by saving Clark,
we save all those colonists on the Prometheus? All those people in Pacifonesia? Stop Jimmy’s cousin Jimmy from being killed, Ralph from being murdered, and Johnny Taylor of the Metro Gang from dying? And those kids from the Beckworth School from being killed? And Secretary Wallace’s assassination? And President Garner’s kidnapping? And Lex Luthor from dying? And… and… and…” She snapped her fingers as she tried to think of all the people Superman could have helped since he arrived on the scene. There were so many. “All those little crimes that he stops every day. Think of how much better Metropolis would be with Superman here. Think of all the page one stories such a man would generate.”
Jimmy cleared his throat. “My cousin Jimmy doesn’t die?”
Lois shook her head. “Clark saves him.”
Her friend’s eyes open wider.
Perry raised an eyebrow. “Superman saved Ralph’s, Johnny Taylor’s, and Lex Luthor’s lives?” he asked skeptically. “I thought he was supposed to make the world a better place?”
I don’t judge…“Every human life is sacred to Superman. It isn’t his job to decide who is worthy of living and dying. He’s not God,” Lois retorted.
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Clark replied. She could almost hear the smile on his lips.
“Uh-huh.” Perry was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed once more. “And what exactly in Elvis’s name happens if Lex Luthor survives?”
“Uh…” Lois didn’t know. She closed her eyes. What had happened after the hostage situation at the Daily Planet, after Clark had healed Lex? Her head began to swirl with images and information.
Lois sat on leather sofa in a private jet with Lex Luthor. They were heading to dinner in Italy and drinking champagne. Oooh, la, la. There was even a woman playing a violin in the seat across of them. Lex opened a ring box and held it out to her.“Oh, my God!” Lois gasped. “Lex proposes.” She felt sick to her stomach. Oh, God. Oh, no! Anything but that.
“Lex Luthor wanted to marry you?” Jimmy stammered.
“Apparently.” She shook her head, hoping the information inside would change. Please, please, please, have her turn him down!
Jimmy and Jack pulled pink slips out of envelopes. They had been laid off. The paper was losing money, circulation was down, advertisers dropping the Daily Planet, something was really wrong. Then the elevator doors opened and out stepped Lex Luthor and a group of people. “Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lex Luthor… I know your problems can be solved with strong leadership and fiscal responsibility. So, therefore, I’ve taken the one step necessary to guarantee the future of this great newspaper …”Lois placed her hands to her head. “No! No! Clark, please tell me this isn’t so, this can’t true,” she pleaded.
I’m afraid it did happen, Lois. No matter what you see, what you remember, please know that I love you and that I always will love you. We will survive this; life does get better… eventually.Her heart wrenched. It was going to get worse? How could it get worse?
“What in Sam Hill are you talking about Lois?” Perry demanded.
She swallowed and looked at her boss with wide eyes. “Lex buys the Daily Planet.”
***
“Trust me. Everything will be fine,” Lex whispered in her ear as he stood behind her in Perry’s office. He kissed the back of her head tenderly.
Of course it would be fine. It had to be fine. She wouldn’t be contemplating marriage to a man who would ruin the lives of all her friends and colleagues. It was just a mistake… a temporary glitch. Clark’s assumption that Lex was evil was just ridiculous. Ridiculous! Actually, she was going to go out and tell her partner that right now, remind Clark that it was better to have a job and that there would be a transition period with any new owner.Lois rubbed her temples. These new memories were painful. Clark was right about that, but he had reassured her that life would get better. Maybe almost dying at the hands of terrorists changed Lex, she thought hopefully. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as he had been before. She tossed up her hands at that preposterous theory. If she believed that, perhaps she was crazy.
She caught up with Clark at the break table where he was drinking his coffee. “It’s going to work out fine, Clark, just give it time. Lex will turn things around.”
Clark winced at her words. “Incredible,” he scoffed.
“What?”
He stood up to look her in the eye. “You! Prize winning investigative reporter,” he said as if those two things didn’t go together.
“Is there a point?” Lois asked as the hairs on the back of her neck started to bristle.
“How can you be so blind, Lois?” he asked with complete disbelief. “I mean, you look right at the guy, and you still haven’t a clue on who he really is.”
“Who?”
“Luthor,” he spit out the name, pointing his spoon towards Perry’s office.
Lois rolled her eyes. Oh, great, this again. She had never seen Clark so adamant about anything before, not in the whole year that she had known him. She turned back to Clark and lowered her voice, not wanting everyone else to hear what she was going to say. “Look, Clark, I’m not naïve,” she said, sitting down across from him at the break table.
He sat down as well and leaned in to hear her.
“I know that Lex didn’t reach his station in life by being a nice guy, but look at all the good he’s done: Luthor Hospital, Luthor Home for Children, Luthor Foundation for the Arts, not to mention, employing hundreds of thousands of people in Metropolis,” Lois said, pointing at Clark to drive in her argument. “Most recently saving our jobs.”
“Cover. It’s all a cover,” he replied.
Oh, come on, Kent. Please. Nobody was that bad. “Why? If he’s such a rotten human being, why bother?”
“Because that’s what he enjoys most: getting away with it.”
She shook her head in disappointment. Really? This was the best that he had? Or should she say, the worst that he had on the man? Vague claims.
“I mean the man is more than just evil, Lois,” he continued. “He’s a monster.”
Lois stood up. “I’m… I’m not going to listen to this.” Clark’s irrational theories about Lex had to stop. If she was the only one who could put a stop to it, then so be it. Clark usually listened to her… okay, perhaps not, but he trusted her judgment. If she became engaged to Lex, Clark would come to realize that Lex wasn’t as bad as he thought. “Especially not now.”
“Wha…?” Clark sputtered. “You aren’t actually considering his proposal, are you?” He looked at her with a new incredulity as if he didn’t recognize her.
“I… I don’t know, Clark,” she said hesitantly. At first she wasn’t going to consider Lex’s proposal, but now, she wasn’t so sure. In light of Clark’s blatant distrust of the man, she felt like she needed to prove to her partner once more that she was right about Lex, and he was wrong. If Lex were as bad as Clark said, what did that say about her as an investigative reporter? She would be the laughing stock of Metropolis. No, she had to be right and Clark wrong. That was how it had always been. That was how it would always be. “I’m thinking about it, that’s all. I’m just thinking about it.” She walked off, unable to be around her partner any longer.
What was the matter with Clark anyway? Had he fallen off his rocker due to the upheaval at the Planet? She knew he didn’t deal well with change. That was made abundantly clear after he left Metropolis when Superman was practically drummed out of town.
She sighed. Superman. Now, there was a man worth risking everything for. Her smile fell off her face. Perhaps… No, she wouldn’t give Clark’s ideas credence by asking Superman his opinion. Anyway, hopefully Superman would give her a reason never to accept Lex’s offer.A cold sweat beaded over Lois’ forehead, and she leaned over her knees, eager to stop the nausea that accompanied these new memories. Clark had warned her about Lex, and she hadn’t listened to him. She had been so hell-bent on proving to him that she was right. Her stomach lurched.
Perry opened the conference room door and peered over at her.
Lois glanced up at her boss and the room started to spin around him. These repressed memories flowed into her head so fast, she couldn’t see straight. Why? Oh, why had she asked for them to come back to her like a flood?
“Darlin’, you okay? You look sicker than a dog that’s taken a bite out of a Junebug,” Perry said, coming to her side.
“It’s just…” She tried to swallow the bile back down her throat. “Just these memories that Star let loose for me. They’re a little hard to take, especially all at once.”
“Better life, huh?” He chuckled a bit at her misery. “So, what’s your imagination saying that Lex is doing now?” he asked with a wry amount of humor.
She looked up at Perry, and the tears in her eyes made him blurry. “He’s hired a ‘Supervising Editor-in-Chief’ straight out of Harvard Business School to take some of the load off of you.”
Perry scowled. “Supervising? That bastard. Please tell me, I didn’t I stand for it,” he pleaded.
Lois smiled weakly. “You grabbed your Elvis photo by the door and marched out, telling Lex exactly what he could do with that young whipper-snapper.”
Her boss laughed. “Glad to know I don’t lose my marbles in your alternate life for me.”
“Only Clark sees Lex for who he really is. Even I am blinded by the billionaire who ‘saved the Planet’.” She tried to roll her eyes at herself, but the action just made her dizzy. “Lex has demoted both Jack and Jimmy down to the printing plant,” she told him.
“Jimmy at the printing plant? Poor fellow. Who’s Jack?” Perry inquired, his brow furrowing.
“Oh… uh… A runaway that Clark rescued off of Metropolis’s mean streets and got a job here as gofer,” Lois explained. No Clark meant no theft of the globe and no rescuing of Jack and his brother. She flinched. She bet that they were still out there somewhere. She wondered how they were doing without Clark’s help.
I wouldn’t even know where to tell you to start looking. I doubt that they’re in the same place I found him eighteen months ago.Perry smiled. “It sounds like you’ve found a keeper in that Clark fellow. I can see why you want so much to believe in him.”
Thanks, Chief.The tears in Lois’ eyes overflowed. Perry didn’t accept Clark as true. He was someone in her ‘imagination’, someone she ‘wanted to believe in’. She took hold of her boss’ hand and squeezed it. “Everyone loves Clark.” She winced. That wasn’t true. Almost everyone. Lex claimed to like him, but he never did. He didn’t like that Lois trusted Clark so much and that Clark was important to her. She let go of Perry and raised her hand to her head. Her icy fingers felt good there.
“You lie back down there, Lois. I’ve got Jimmy making you some tea and I’ve called a doctor. She’ll be here soon.”
Lois nodded, resting her head on the arm of the sofa. “He’s real, you know, Perry. I’m not crazy.”
“Sure, honey. Whatever you say,” he reassured her with empty words, she knew he did not mean.
She sat back up. “If I can prove to you that Clark Kent is real… if I can dig up a cold hard fact for you, will you believe me?” she said, looking up into his face. She couldn’t stand being a disappointment to this man to whom she had grown closer than her own father. She hated seeing that same look in his eyes that she had often seen in her father’s.
He grinned at her and then winked. “Of course, honey. Rest. Don’t you worry about that right now.” She then watched as the grin fell from his face, and he left the room.
Nope. He doesn’t believe she can do it. She picked up the plastic baggy with her note in it. She took the paper out and studied it again. There had to be some way to convince her boss that Clark was real… had been real.
She groaned. All the names on the paper that H.G. Wells had given her were a dead end. No wonder she hadn’t realized that the numbers were dates; they were all in the future, far in the future. How could she research the history of people who wouldn’t be born for almost seventy-five years? No wonder Wells thought her idea improbable. Tempus must have come from much further in the future than she had thought. Twenty-third century? Wasn’t that what he had told her?
Lois scoffed, wadding up the paper and throwing it in the nearest trashcan. It had been her lifeline, her proof that Clark was real, but other than that… useless. She sighed. There had to be another way, she could prove her sanity. Why had she let her anger get the best of her? Why had she told Jimmy and then Perry about Clark? She should have just kept all knowledge of Superman to herself. She buried her face in her hands. She had been so stupid.
There was loud BOOM, and the building of Daily Planet jolted and shook. She could hear explosion after explosion rock the building, her home and her world. Clark hollered for everyone to evacuate, and she ran to the stairs with the others. She lost sight of her partner in the hubbub. Down on the street, she saw Superman carrying an unconscious Jack to a stretcher. Jimmy walked up to her holding his arm. It seemed so surreal. Who would bomb the Daily Planet? Why?When she opened her eyes, Lois found herself lying on the floor of the conference room. It felt like her world was turning upside-down. Her ears were still ringing, her eyes still stung, and she could still smell the smoke from her memory.
This wasn’t a dream.
This wasn’t her imagination.
She had been there.
She had experienced the event.
This was a memory.
If she had harbored any last doubts about her sanity, they were now gone. Clark was real and she needed to save him. She crawled across the floor and found a trash can and threw up. Luckily, she hadn’t had the time or desire to eat much that morning.
Jimmy rushed into the room, carrying her grey mug full of tea. “Lois! I heard you scream. Is everything all right?”
She had screamed? Lois had no recollection of it. She stared at Jimmy, and after he had helped her to her feet, she wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug.
“Lois?” he whispered. She could hear the uncertainty in his voice. She knew she wasn’t a big hugger, but after this newest memory, she was relieved that this Jimmy was alive, even if his cousin, the first Jimmy Olsen she had met and known, no longer was.
“Sorry, Jimmy. Someone bombed the Planet… the Daily Planet, and your cousin was hurt. His arm,” she stammered, letting her hand coast down his left arm, his perfectly healthy left arm.
“I’m fine, Lois. Sit down. Nobody’s bombed the Planet,” he said, leading her back to the couch and then retrieving her tea. “Here. Drink this. It will make you feel better.”
Lois smiled at him. “You know, you remind me a bit of Clark. He’s always saying that tea will make me feel better too.”
Jimmy gazed at her sadly, and then nodded. “It does.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking a sip. The hot liquid did make her feel better. She nodded at Jimmy and he patted her on the arm and left. Being around her was making people uncomfortable. She could understand that. Being her was making her uncomfortable too.
Does that mean I’m right? About the tea, I mean.She smiled. “Maybe just this one time.” Twice, if she included Lex. “Oh, Clark, what did we do while waiting for Lex to rebuild the Daily Planet?” Lois groaned, unable to picture herself without a story.
Uh… Lois… She took a deep breath and exhaled, somehow knowing what he didn’t want to say. “He didn’t rebuild it, did he?” She slowly raised her mug to her lips.
No. He told you that it was underinsured, and it would cost too much to rebuild.“And I believed him,” Lois scoffed at herself with a shake of her head. Clark had been right. Some investigative reporter she was! “Why do you still love me, Clark?”
You play a mean game of Trivial Pursuit.She laughed.
You’re intelligent and beautiful. You give everything you have and are to your stories and then some. You want the world to be a better place and you’ll fight anyone and everyone to make it so. I love your smile. I love how you growl in the morning before you get your first cup of coffee. I love how you feel every emotion, not just with your face, but with every cell of your body. When you’re happy, you glow. When you’re sad, it’s painful for others to witness. When you angry…“Watch out world?”
Precisely.Lois took another sip of tea. “I’m sorry, Clark, for not listening to you about Lex.”
Me, too.“Thanks,” she retorted, heavy with sarcasm.
No, I mean I’m sorry I didn’t explain better how I knew Luthor was evil. If I had told you the truth about me and how and what I knew about him, maybe I could have… Clark sighed and she could hear the anguish he was trying to hide from her.
Lois swallowed another gulp of tea, burning her throat slightly, and stood up. She was tired of thinking about Lex. She was ready to get him out of her life for good. The only way she knew how to do that was proving her sanity to Perry, saving her job and herself. She needed to hold out that much longer until H.G. Wells showed up to take her back into the past to rescue Clark. If she lost this job due to mental instability, the only one she could get would be alongside Leo Nunk at the
National Whisper... if she was lucky. If she lost this job, how would Wells find her?
Hopefully, Wells had already figured out how to save Tempus from extinction, so time would no longer be shattered, so that they could go back far enough and make sure her friend had a chance to live. Maybe now that her memories had returned and she had let others know about Superman and Clark, Wells would discover it was safe to come for her. She didn’t know how Wells would find out, but since he had a time machine, hopefully the wait wouldn’t be too long.
In the meantime, she needed to do something to prove her sanity. Since the only people who knew for a fact that Clark existed, besides herself, were his parents, she needed to get them to acknowledge that fact. Picking up her briefcase, she dug around inside of it until she found the napkin on which Maisie had written the directions to The Farm. She sighed. No phone number. Damn. She went to the phone and dialed information.
“I need a phone number for the Kent Farm or The Farm or Martha and Jonathan Kent in Smallville, Kansas,” she told the operator. A few minutes later, she not only had a phone number, but a fax number as well. She dialed the number and hoped someone would answer.
“Hello, The Farm. Jonathan speaking,” Clark’s father said into the phone.
Lois wasn’t sure what to say. “Mr. Kent… Jonathan, it’s Lois… Lois Lane. Clark and I need your help. Please, don’t hang up… Damn!” Well,
that obviously wasn’t it. She replaced the receiver.
Okay, clearly the Kents weren’t ready to talk to her yet. She glanced down at the notepad on which she had written their number, and a determined expression crossed her face. Sitting down at the conference room table, Lois picked up a yellow, legal pad someone had left there and started drafting a letter. A few minutes later, she held it up and nodded. It looked good. It wasn’t the best letter she had ever written, but it would get Martha and Jonathan thinking.
Honesty is always the best policy with my folks. They might not want to talk to you, but they’ll read what you have to say.Lois went to the conference room door and looked out into the bullpen. She doubted either Perry or Jimmy said anything to anyone else about her hearing Clark’s voice; maybe about her not feeling well, but not about her sanity or lack thereof. No one seemed to be paying any attention to her or the conference room, so she opened the door and casually walked across the room to the fax machine. She wrote up a quick fax cover sheet, dialed the number from her notepad, and added her pages to the machine. Her fax seemed to crawl through the machine slower than a snail. Her foot tapped impatiently as she waited.
Finally, the last page went through. Lois confirmed transmission, grabbed her letter, and went straight to the shredder. There were still a few details of Clark’s story she hadn’t shared with her partner or boss, and she planned on keeping it that way. Clark’s secret was one she hadn’t kept this morning, and she didn’t plan on making another such mistake again.
After the pages had been shredded, she glanced down and saw how blatant the yellow paper contrasted with the normal white computer paper. It would be too easy for someone to piece back together, if they wanted. She grabbed a fistful of yellow strips and went around the newsroom, tearing them into smaller pieces and dropping a few in every trashcan she passed.
Lois glanced at Jimmy, but he was busy on the telephone. She looked over her shoulder towards Perry’s office; he was gazing into newsroom, but she couldn’t tell if he had been watching her. He lowered his eyes back to the papers on his desk and she rushed back to the conference room. No point in adding paranoia to her list of symptoms.
Her heart was racing as she shut the conference room door behind her, leaning up against it. The room began to swim again. No. No. No! Not again. She made it back over to the sofa, before the memory hit her.
Lois was giddy with excitement. Lex had offered her a job at LNN: Luthor News Network. At first she was blasé. It wasn’t the Daily Planet. Nothing could replace the newsroom in her heart. Then she had toured the LNN offices. They were modern, fast-paced, and efficient, and she couldn’t wait to share them with Clark. Without her partner, this place would seem sterile, soulless, and superficial. She needed her partner to join her, for his sake, not hers.
Without her working with him, Clark would feel lost in Metropolis. Without Lois, Clark wouldn’t be able to go on. Lois knew that if Clark couldn’t handle the transition of Lex taking over the Daily Planet, how was he going to come to terms with the fact that their beloved newspaper was no more? She knew that without her Clark wouldn’t be able to stay afloat. He needed her. Clark was her partner, now and forever more. Lois refused to work with anyone else. Not to mention, nor would she to another living soul, Clark knew how to contact Superman better than she did. That was one source, she could never give up.
But when Lois showed Clark around LNN, he wasn’t interested. He didn’t want to work in television. He flat out refused to work for Lex Luthor. He wanted to still save the Daily Planet, even though Lex had told her there was no way to do so. She had moved on, so should Clark.
Okay, true, it had only been a day or two since the Daily Planet had been bombed, but life and news went on. They had to land on their feet and recover quickly in this business. One was only as good as one’s next story. If she stood around and thought about what had happened to the Daily Planet, she would lose it, and she refused to break down and cry. She refused to let the bomber win!
Clark continued to groan about Luthor. What she needed was a good two-by-four to hit some sense into her partner. When she reminded him of their partnership, he asked to talk to her in private. She agreed, but she knew what he was going to say; he had said it all before. Lex was the devil incarnate, blah, blah, blah. Sure, Clark. Where were his cold hard facts? Did he expect her to believe him without any of those? Hello, reporter here!
But that wasn’t what Clark told her. Instead, he sat her down on a bench in Centennial Park, and told her that he was in love with her and had been for a very long time.
Lois couldn’t believe it. Did he really expect her to believe him? It felt like just yesterday that she had poured out her heart to him, telling him that she loved him, and he had stood there like a bump on a log – his mouth hanging open, catching flies. Now, suddenly, he was in love with her? And had been ‘for a long time’? Right. Whatever you say, Clark.
Had Clark given up spouting the evils of Lex in exchange for professing his love instead? Was Clark now using her obvious attraction for him to try to dissuade her from accepting Lex’s offer? Did he really hate Lex that much to use her in this manner? That just hurt. She couldn’t believe Clark, of all people, would stoop so low. That just didn’t seem like the honest, genuine guy she knew. No, she must be wrong. Could he really be in love with her?
Lois thought about what he had said again.
“When I thought about losing my job at the Daily Planet, saying goodbye to Perry and Jimmy and everyone, I realized something. I realized that I could lose all that but still go on. I realized that there was really only one thing I didn’t want to live without and that was you. Seeing you every day, working with you, just being with you.”
She had misunderstood at first, and replied, “See, that’s why you should come and be my partner…”
“No, Lois, I’m not talking about partnerships,” he interrupted. “I’m talking about us. I have been in love with you for a long time. You’ve had to have known.”
Suddenly, she realized what had happened. Clark wasn’t in love with her, not like she was in love with him. They had already discussed that back during Nightfall, and she had accepted that fact and moved past it. Book closed.
No, Clark must be confusing their friendship, their partnership for love. When the Daily Planet had exploded… maybe even before, when the layoffs had started… Clark had moved his attachment disorder from the paper to her. He was under some misguided notion that he could lose Jimmy, Perry, and the Daily Planet, but still be okay as long as he had her.
It was the same thing that had happened during the heat wave, the same thing as when the layoffs had happened, and when Lex had bought the paper. It was too much change all at once for the poor little farmboy. So, Clark had convinced himself that as long as he was with her, he would be okay, he would survive.
No, as much as she wanted it to be true, Clark wasn’t in love with her. He was anchoring himself to her, hoping that she would keep him afloat. As much as she loved him, she couldn’t let him attach himself to her in that way, not if he truly didn’t love her. She couldn’t do that to him. She couldn’t do that to herself. She sighed and tried to think of a way to let him down gently.
“I knew… I mean, I guess I knew that you liked me…” Lois said, hating every word, every lie coming out of her mouth. “… that you were attracted to me…” She stared into his deep soulful eyes. How she wished he liked her. How she wished he was really attracted to her. She looked away. If she continued to talk about this with him, her already fragile heart would shatter again. “Clark, I’m sorry… I just don’t feel that way about you…Romantically…”
It broke her heart to lie to Clark like this, but it was for his own good. She had been his lifeline for too long. He needed to stand on his own two feet. She couldn’t have him clinging to her when she knew, deep in her heart, that he didn’t truly love her. He just didn’t want to be alone. What was she thinking? Of course, he wasn’t going to be alone. She would still be there for him.
“You’re my best friend and the only partner I could ever stand to work with,” Lois continued with a self-mocking smile. “I admire you, and I respect you and I do love you.” There she said it again. Why was she tormenting herself in this way? “As a friend.”
Why? Why, did she always have to include that stupid disclaimer? She loved him… as a man. Why did she always have to be the strong one in their relationship? Why couldn’t she just accept Clark’s offer for love for what it was and kiss him and walk into the sunset? Oh, no, she had to be the realist. Clark had already unintentionally broken her heart once. She didn’t want to give him the opportunity to do so again. She knew she couldn’t survive it a second time.
Clark stood up and walked a few feet away.
Lois knew that she had hurt him; she could see it in his eyes.
“What about Luthor?” he asked. “Do you love him?”
Love? Lex? No, she didn’t think so. “I don’t know. I mean I have feelings for him.” Not like she had feelings for Clark, no, but that was a good thing. If she loved Lex like she had had allowed herself to love Clark, then that would open her heart to break again. No, she would never love Lex that way. “I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet, and I won’t until I talk it over with someone else.” Out of the two men left with whom she would be willing to spend her life – who couldn’t hurt her like Clark had – she preferred Superman, a hundred to one. Him, she could love.
“Who?” Clark asked.
“I think you know who,” she said almost shyly, and watched as Clark glanced to the sky before dropping his gaze. Yeah, he knew who she was talking about. “If you see him will you tell him I’m looking for him?”
Clark sucked his lips inside his mouth and murmured, “Yeah.”Lois gasped. Oh, God! What had she done? She had dismissed Clark’s feelings, his pronouncement of love, as some school boy crush? She buried her face into her hands and began to sob. How could she have been so cruel? She had loved him, yet she had rejected Clark because she didn’t think he loved her as much as she loved him. What a fool she was!
“Oh, Clark! Clark, I’m so sorry,” she cried. “You deserve someone better than me.”
The door of the conference room opened and Perry walked in.
Lois looked up at them through her tears. What now? “I can’t take anything else right now, Perry. Please, just leave me alone.”
Perry knelt down in front of her. “Are you all right, darlin’?”
“Peachy,” she grouched. “I just rejected Clark and broke his heart for no good reason, no good reason at all. I’m a bitch with a capital ‘B’.”
He raised a brow. “Lois, are you saying that you sent that voice inside your head away?” her boss asked softly. She could hear the hopeful tone ringing in his voice.
“No! Back… back in our other life. I loved him, but told him I didn’t, because I thought he didn’t really love me or that he was just trying to get me to refuse Lex’s offer… or something…” she tried to explain. It was hard to see him through her tears and hair. “I don’t know.”
“And what offer would that be?” a female, crisp British accent said from behind Perry.
Lois pushed back her hair and looked at the petite brown-haired woman standing there. She hadn’t realized that Perry had brought anyone into the room with him. “None of your damn business.”
“Uh…Lois?” Perry cleared his throat. “This is the doctor I told you about. Lois Lane, Dr. Arianna Carlin.”
***End of Part 21*** Part 22 Comments
