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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

Where we left off in Part 76 …

“But…” Harrington stammered, pointing towards the blank TV monitor in the office, before Rourke led the man away.

Lois glanced back at Clark, who was fiddling once more with his glasses. He must have good distance vision because he kept pulling them down to see over to Apocalypse Consulting’s offices.

When she looked back at the outer offices, Bart was locking up. She shifted her binoculars over to Rourke’s office, hoping to see something that would explain Harrington’s terrified reaction to that video. Nada, except… Bart had left his leather jacket on the coat rack, the leather jacket with the filing cabinet key sitting in the pocket.

Lois set down her binoculars, and turned around to find Clark still standing right behind her.

“I’m sorry I never told you I had been engaged, Lois,” he said, picking up their previous conversation, where Rourke and Harrington had interrupted it. He glanced back over his shoulder at the fax machine, which had started to hum.

She cupped Clark’s jaw in her hand and tilted his head, so he was looking at her, once more. She assumed ‘I can’t’ could mean one of two things.. well, okay, it could mean more than two things, but it probably meant one of two things. She decided it was time to disqualify the less likely reason, knowing her luck, of the two. She knew that she had asked him this question before, but his answer had been so wishy-washy, she wasn’t at all that sure that he had told her the truth. So, taking a wild leap of faith, she asked, “Clark, are you still a virgin?”

Part 77

Clark’s eyes widened in shock. “No!” he adamantly denied, taking a step back. “No. No, I’m not. I’ve had sex, Lois.”

“Have you?” she asked again. His protests seemed a bit strong.

“Yes!” Clark said exasperatingly. “My fiancée and I had sex, just not often, but…” His voice petered off as he went to sit back down on the couch. He picked up the first page of the fax. “It’s from Jimmy; the voting records from the House defense committee,” he explained.

“But?” Lois pushed, following him.

“But… it wasn’t very good,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut and turning away. “I know that it was partly my fault, and partly hers. She never relaxed. No matter how hard I tried to make it tender and intimate, the joining of two hearts, she never tried to enjoy it. She just wanted it over with. Eventually I gave up trying, but she never did. Offering me sex became her way to control me, reward me,” he scoffed. “It ended up doing the opposite. The more she offered it to me, the less I wanted it.”

Lois’s jaw hung open. Well, that explained a lot.

She felt torn. She wanted to pull Clark into her arms and hold him, reassuring him that he had escaped that horrible woman and that part of his life was now over. On the other hand, she felt like hunting that woman down and punching her in the nose. If that woman had broken Clark, and was the reason that Lois and Clark were stuck in the “just friends” zone…

She started pacing. She couldn’t stand being in this room any longer; she was too angry at what this woman had done to Clark. Yet, underneath all that anger, there were also coals of fury, fury at Clark. When Lois had been drugged on Revenge, he had kept telling her that they couldn’t make love, because of her. He had blamed her, because she had been drugged, when all along it had been he, who had the problem, not her. Him! Even before that, when her arm was in the sling and she had asked him to make love to her, he had said ‘no’. She needed time to heal, he had said, both physically and emotionally. Her!

Lois knew she was being petty and nitpicking at Clark’s gentlemanly behavior; still, it irked her. She needed some fresh air, before she blew up at him for dropping this bombshell on her the way he had. It wasn’t his fault that he had a problem, just as it hadn’t been her fault that she had been drugged by Revenge or shot.

She glanced back over her shoulder at Apocalypse Consulting’s offices, and the leather jacket still hanging from the coat rack. She walked over to her shoes and slipped them on.

Clark was absorbed in the voting records that Jimmy had faxed over and wasn’t paying her any heed.

“I need some fresh air,” she told him, picking up her briefcase.

Clark didn’t even glance up. “Hmm.”

“Clark! I’m going down to the lobby. I need to get something from the store,” she lied.

“Okay,” he said, glancing up at her with a slight wave, before returning to his precious voting records.

“Back in a few,” she called from the door.

Clark waved again, and she was out the door. She was more than ready to channel some of this anger at Clark’s former fiancée towards Apocalypse Consulting.

*

As soon as the door closed behind Lois, Clark lowered the pages of the fax he was reading and exhaled in relief. It felt good to tell Lois the truth about his past for once. He was a bit surprised that he had told her so much and how easy it had been. She didn’t explode into anger like she usually did, so he was able to tell his side of the story, more or less, without them breaking into an argument.

Actually, her calmness until the end reminded him of the Lois he had originally met almost two years ago, when Tempus had dropped that other Lois into his dimension. He wondered if that was why it had been so easy to talk to her, because she reminded him of that other Lois, who was just as intense as this Lois, only without the anger. Logically, Clark knew that this Lois wasn’t that Lois, being that the first Lois he had met was still living her happily ever after with her Clark in their dimension. He felt a bit guilty comparing the two Loises, but the lack of anger at him was a trait he would be more than happy to have his Lois develop.

Clark was amazed at how much lighter this weight on his chest felt, now that he had told Lois the truth about Lana. She seemed to take the news better than he had expected, giving him hope in his hopeless future. Perhaps he would be able to tell her the truth about the curse some day and have her understand why they couldn’t have a regular relationship. With any luck, Herb would soon return, and they would be able to move forward without her having to know what he had suffered to keep her safe.

There wasn’t anything he could do about the curse at the moment, but perhaps they could solve this other mystery. He glanced back down at the fax from Jimmy and wondered if there was anything in it to clue him in to what Rourke was planning.

The phone in the suite rang and, not looking up from his reading, Clark answered it. “Hello.”

“Hello, Mr. Kent,” purred Cat. “How’s the honeymoon going? Anything you want to share?”

“Not really,” he murmured, continuing to read.

“How’s the bed?” she asked. “Do you like those satin sheets? Don’t they feel delish against your naked skin?”

“They’re nice,” Clark admitted, leaning back. “The little I spent on them. I’m sure Lois will insist on staking her claim tonight.”

“Huh?” Cat coughed, sounding like she had choked on something.

“It’s only fair. Last night, I won the coin toss and got to go first. Tonight, it’s her turn,” he explained.

“I always thought you were a ladies first sort of guy, Clark.”

“I did try, but she was adamant that the pleasure be all mine. I believe it has something to do with me allowing her my bed when she stayed over before Christmas.”

“Always the gentleman, Clark,” Cat answered. “So, you guys hooked up in December, and you just happened to forget to tell me? Then what was all that in the newsroom yesterday morning? Theatrics so the Chief doesn’t know you’re intimate with his little girl?”

“What? No, Cat,” Clark corrected. “Bed versus couch. I had the bed last night, tonight she has it, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Really, Clark? You two have been locked in a hotel room for two days, and you still haven’t been able to close the deal?” she berated him. “I’m beginning to doubt that you’re really…”

“Cat!” he cut her off, before she said something on an unsecure line that he would regret. “I’m hanging up.”

“Oh. Have I interrupted something?” she said with pride. “You naughty boy.”

“Yes, you’ve interrupted me going through Congressman Harrington’s votes,” he replied. “Lois went for a walk. I told her something I probably should’ve told her long ago and…” His voice faded. Why was he telling Cat this?

“Finally! How’d she take the news?” Cat was giddy with excitement as if she had caught red-handed two of the happiest married politicians at a strip club doing a lap dance with each other instead of their spouses. “Wait. You said she went for a walk. Oh, sugarplum, I’m so sorry.” Pity dripped from her words. He was sure Cat meant it kindly, but it still hurt.

Clark was sorry, too, but Lois had been climbing the walls of the suite. He would much rather be back on the bed, making out with her, but that was playing with fire. He sighed. “Cat, I told her about…” He really didn’t want to get into his history with Lana again, let alone with Cat. “Something else. It doesn’t matter. Lois is really frustrated.”

“Her and me both, honeyboots.”

He ignored her aside, even though he could add himself to that list as well. “Rourke showed Harrington his plan, and it frightened the Congressman.”

“Really? What was it?” Cat said, suddenly all business.

“They closed the shutters, and we couldn’t see what,” Clark explained.

“Yeah, I hate it when people do that,” she agreed. “And you still couldn’t see anything? You can tell me, even if you can’t tell her.”

“Nope. It’s an old building. The shutters were lead lined to help keep out radiation from…” He rolled his eyes. What? A nuclear blast? “Who knows what? Anyway, about six layers under that fresh coat of paint is a layer of old lead paint. They might as well have been on the other side of the world.”

“That sucks. Why don’t you hoof it on over there and peek inside? See what you can find out?” Cat suggested.

“Cat, that would be…” Clark paused, hearing a door shut from across the street. “Hold on a second.” He walked the phone over to the window and saw Lois inside the offices of Apocalypse Consulting. Taking a walk, huh, partner? “ – breaking and entering,” he said, before moaning, “Oh, Lois.”

“Is she back?” Cat whispered. “What is she doing to you, Clarkie?”

“I’ve got to go, Cat. She’s broken into Apocalypse Consulting’s offices,” Clark said.

Before he could put the phone down, he heard Cat holler, “Wait! Why do you have to go, Clark?”

He pulled the receiver back to his ear. “Because those guys could come back at any moment,” he stated the obvious.

“So, Lois isn’t in any immediate danger?”

“No, but…” he started, before catching Rourke and Bart, his associate, in the hall outside the office. “Oh, no! They’re back. I’ve got to…”

“Take a breath, Clark. Lois is a big girl. This is her job. You need to trust her. What’s she doing?”

“She’s heard them coming. She’s putting away the files, turning out the lights, and no! Lois!” Clark’s heart was beating so loudly it felt like it had lodged itself in his throat.

“What?” gasped Cat.

“She’s hiding the closet,” Clark said. At first, he thought she was going to crawl under the desk. “I need to go. She needs me.”

“No, she doesn’t, Clark. Trust me, big fellow, if you bust your red boots in there when she isn’t in any trouble, she’ll never forgive you. Let her do her job!”

“But…” he countered, pointing at the window. “They could find her at any… oh, I’ve lost my chance. They’ve gone into the offices already. Thanks, Cat, thanks a lot. If she dies…”

“Cool your jets, flyboy; she isn’t in any danger unless they catch her. At the moment, she’s well hidden in the closet, right?”

“Yeah, well… yes,” Clark conceded, but he still hated to see Lois at risk and not do anything about it.

“Okay, last I heard, you’re pretty fast, right?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he muttered. He wasn’t really focusing on the conversation. Lowering his glasses, he x-rayed through the window to the closet. Lois was crouched inside. She looked uncomfortable, but well hidden unless Rourke decided to open the closet.

“So, if they open the closet door and find her, do you think you’d make it over there fast enough from where you are to block any bullets?”

“Possibly. There’s always a chance that…”

“Clark! Yes or no?” Cat demanded.

“Yes. Yes, I could,” he said. He would. Secret identity and building walls be damned.

“So, chill. Anyway, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“You’re kidding,” Clark scoffed. How would he be able to concentrate on Cat when Lois was in the dragon’s lair?

“No. I need some relationship advice,” she replied.

“And you’re coming to me?” he asked in surprise.

“Well, can you picture me calling up Lois and asking her for advice on men?” she scoffed. “Although, this is up her alley. You’re my best friend and, loathsome as you are with women…”

“Thanks,” he grumbled, continuing to stare out the window at the offices across the street.

“Are you going to deny it?”

“No,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t have chosen ‘loathsome’.”

“You can edit Lois’s copy, not mine. Anyway, as I was saying, I’ve met someone,” she said, her voice changing pitch as if she were slightly embarrassed about saying those words.

“Cat, you meet new men every day,” Clark reminded her.

“I know, I know, but this is different. I can’t get him out of my head,” Cat said.

“So, have sex with him. Isn’t that what you usually do?” It wasn’t what Clark would do, or recommend to anyone else, but Cat wasn’t like Clark, or anyone else.

“Oh, trust me, I did. He’s fantastic! Hands down the best lover I’ve ever had,” she explained. “He’s even better than you.”

“We haven’t had sex, Cat,” he reminded her.

“Oh, I meant my fantasies about you that I had when I first knew; he blew those out of the water and he doesn’t even have your abilities,” Cat clarified. “Don’t worry, sweetstuff, I haven’t thought about you that way in months.”

Thank goodness! “Go on,” Clark said, continuing to watch Rourke and Bart work quietly in the office. Luckily, neither man had approached the closet where Lois was hiding.

“Anyway, I did something I usually never do with random hook-ups, I gave him my phone number,” Cat rambled on, before whining, “Oh, Clark. It’s been two weeks and he hasn’t called.”

Two weeks? “Cat, are you talking about the copier repairman you met while the whole office was drugged on Revenge?” he asked in amazement. If he pictured someone, who Cat would describe as ‘fantastic’ when it came to sex or ‘the best lover she’d ever had’, that guy wouldn’t have been it.

“Yeah, Phil,” she sighed.

“Cat, are you sure you didn’t come into contact with Miranda?”

“Positive. If someone sprayed me with something that smelled ‘eau du sweat socks’, I’d have gotten their license plate,” Cat retorted.

No, Clark couldn’t picture Cat standing for that either. “What about Phil? Do you think he had been sprayed?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I hope not,” she said with slight panic. “No, I don’t think so. He seemed more surprised than gung-ho, at first. Oh, Clark, why hasn’t he called? Should I have let him chase me more?”

“Well, there’s an old Kansan saying, if the farmer gets the milk for free, why should he buy the cow?” he replied.

There was silence on the other end of the line. Finally, Cat spoke, “Excuse me?”

“Let me put it in your language. Once a bull has visited a cow, why should he return?”

“Clark,” Cat said sharply. “Are you calling me a cow?”

“No, of course not, Cat; it’s just a saying, a metaphor,” Clark explained.

“So, how’s your cow doing?” she snapped, either not understanding his metaphor or clearly upset by it.

“Cat,” he groaned. “Lois isn’t a cow.”

“Fine. In your case, she’s the bull and you’re the cow. Why haven’t you grabbed that bull by the horns and let her milk you?” Cat replied tersely. “Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

Clark felt like banging his head against the wall, knowing darn well Cat wasn’t talking analogies. “Livestock metaphors aside, Cat, Phil clearly doesn’t know that you have more to offer him than sex. I’d say, yes, if you want to see him, find a plausible excuse to have the two of you bump into each other again, and show him you do.”

“You don’t think it would be a bit forward?”

“Best for you to know upfront if he doesn’t like forward women, Cat. You can’t pretend to be timid, something you’re not,” he said. “Be yourself. If he likes you, fine; if he doesn’t, at least you know.”

“Spoken like a true hypocrite,” she rebutted.

Clark sighed. “My situation is completely different from yours.”

“Is it? I can pretend that I had acted like that, only because of Miranda’s perfume, but that I’m normally more reserved. Isn’t that what you do every day?” she said.

Thankfully, before he could delve further into defending how his lifestyle choice protected everyone close to him including Cat, Rourke and Bart locked up their offices and left.

“At least, I don’t pretend to be two people,” Cat went on. “Ooooooh. Twins! I could pretend to be my own twin sister.”

Clark exhaled in relief, disregarding this suggestion. “They’ve gone. You’re right,” he said softly, feeling like an idiot. “Lois didn’t need me.”

“Of course, Lois needs you, Clark, just not in the way you think she does,” Cat replied.

Neither of them said anything for a minute. Clark watched as Lois slowly opened up the door to the office closet and peered out. Instead of turning on the desk lamp again, she snapped on her flashlight. She went back to the filing cabinet, but it was locked tight. Lois reached for the coat rack, but finding nothing there, ended up slapping the cabinet. She shook her sore hand as she returned to Rourke’s desk. She shifted around the papers that he had left on top, but rolled her eyes at what she found. She tried the drawers, but Rourke had also locked these. Looking at the floor by her feet, her brows furrowed. Bending down, she retrieved something and gazed at it with the beam of her flashlight. Whatever it was made her eyes open widely in alarm, before she slipped it in her pocket.

“Clark, did you say that Congressman Harrington left Rourke’s offices?” Cat asked.

He had almost forgotten that they were still on the phone. “Yeah, a few minutes before you called. Why?”

“Because he didn’t leave the building the same way he came in,” she swore. “Damn! I’ve surely lost him by now. So much for my super-glue. Thanks, Phil.”

“Where are you?” Clark asked, pulling his gaze away from Apocalypse Consulting’s offices and scanning the street below. He saw Cat wave up at him from a phone booth and returned the wave. “Good night, Cat. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Clark. Have fun with your bull, you cow, you,” she teased, hanging up the phone.

When he glanced back up to Apocalypse Consulting, Lois was just leaving. He returned to the couch to finish perusing Jimmy’s fax. A few minutes later, Lois burst in.

“I got it, Clark! I got it!” she said, pulling out a videotape from her briefcase. “The video that Rourke showed Harrington. He left it in the VCR.”

Clark grinned and stood up. “That’s terrific, Lois.” He wondered if he should mention how much it had scared him to see her in trouble at Rourke’s office, but somehow the words failed him. He didn’t want to start an argument when she was this happy.

She launched herself into his arms. “I feel like celebrating!”

“Celebrating?” he echoed, instinctively wrapping his arms around her waist. He was so happy that she was safe. His heart hadn’t slowed down from its double-time rhythm of knowing Lois was in danger and his not doing anything about it. Cat was right. He needed to trust that Lois was able to do her job, but he was at his best when being proactive about her safety.

“Yes! There’s nothing like an adrenaline rush to make you feel like you can do anything,” she said and pressed her lips to his.

Yep, that was exactly what he was afraid of when she mentioned celebrating.

“We should really watch that tape,” Clark murmured between kisses.

He knew he was an idiot. He should tell Lois that they couldn’t be more than friends, that the intimacy she wanted from him just wasn’t possible, but despite having the best motivation in the world, he didn’t have the willpower to deny Lois anything she wanted from him at the moment... well, almost anything. He had craved her affection for so long that to have it finally so willingly thrust upon him was like offering water to man coming off a trek in the hot desert sun.

“Yes,” Lois moaned. She kissed him again. The moan turned to a groan as she pulled her lips from his. “No, you’re right. You know how much I hate it when you’re right.”

A smile slipped onto Clark’s lips. “I know.”

She looked around the room and found the television. “Crap!” she swore. “No VCR.”

“We could ask to have one sent up?” he suggested.

“No, that would draw too much attention to us,” she said, looking at her watch. “Look, it’s already past midnight. Why don’t we crash, and get up extra early to take the tape into the office with us?”

Clark’s nerves started to tingle at this idea as panic set in. “That’s means we’ll get less than five hours of sleep,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, I know. The idea sucks. We should go to the Planet right now and view this tape, but even if we did, there really isn’t much we could do about it until tomorrow morning anyway,” she said, rubbing her neck. “I didn’t sleep well last night and could use a couple of hours of shut-eye. I don’t know if I could sleep though. My blood is pumping, and I’ve developed this crick in my neck from hiding in that cramped closet.” She glanced up at him, realizing what she revealed.

“You need to thank Cat,” he said, moving around to be standing behind her. He started rubbing her tense shoulders.

“Cat?” she stiffened, before she started to relax at his touch.

“If she’d let me off the phone to go find Superman the moment I saw you in those offices over there, we’d never have gotten that videotape,” he admitted.

“I’d never have found that videotape, you mean,” Lois corrected, before turning to face him. “What did she want? Pumping you for all our intimate details? Did you tell her you had me up half the night begging for more?”

“That’s uncalled for,” he retorted. “I’ve never spread untrue rumors about the status of our relationship. Frankly, I believe I’ve implied around the bullpen that there’s less between us than there actually is, because it’s none of our co-workers’ business.”

“Okay,” she said, rubbing her neck again. She did a few arm circles. “It’s just this nerve is pinching me. In the closet, I was twisted at a weird angle and something was poking me in the shoulder.”

“Come here,” Clark said, spinning her around and starting to rub her shoulders, neck, and spine again.

“So, what’d Cat want?”

“She was asking me for some advice.”

Lois turned and looked at him skeptically.

Figuring he would damage the tentative progress they had made with his earlier confession, he decided to tell Lois the gist of the call, just not the specific details. “She has a crush on someone and wanted my feedback.”

“Fine! Don’t tell me,” she said, crossing her arms.

Evidently, he couldn’t win without revealing Cat’s secret, which she didn’t deserve since she had kept his. “I don’t have Cat’s leave to divulge her confidences,” he murmured.

He moved his hands down Lois’s arms, continuing to massage her until she dropped that rigid stance. Then he shifted her over to the wall and had her press against it with her hands so that he would have a firm work surface to rub. The best solution would be for both of them to lie down on the bed, which he wasn’t going to suggest in this century… or until Herb gave him the green light. As he massaged, he applied a low beam of heat to where he was rubbing to help relax the muscles. She moaned in acceptance of this action.

Lois was quiet for another moment before asking, “Are you saying that you almost called Superman on me, Clark?”

“Yes.”

“And the only reason you didn’t was because Cat told you not to?” she pressed.

“Yes,” he said. He might as well tell her all his fears upfront. “Your safety means the world to me, Lois.”

“Uh-huh,” Lois said. Her eyes closed and her head lolled forward.

“Because…” he went on.

She held up her hand to stop him. “Is my safety upmost in your mind because you think Superman would kill you if anything ever happened to me?”

“If you died, Lois, so would I,” he murmured. “Regardless of Superman.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, digesting that.

“But it doesn’t…”

Again, she stopped him; this time by placing her fingers over his mouth. She replaced her fingers with her lips in a soft kiss. “And if we were to make love?” she whispered, her arms wrapping around his neck as she leaned against his chest. “Would he kill you then?”

Clark glanced down at the floor. “Lois, I can’t…”

“I know. You mentioned that. This is purely hypothetical,” she said, cupping his jaw and bringing his focus back to hers. “Does he love me so much that the thought of me being physically intimate with you, would cause him to forget his morals, lose his sense of right and wrong, and allow him the justification to hurt or kill you?”

“No, of course not, Lois,” he said. How could she think that? He entertained such thoughts in his head all the time, and he hadn’t once tried to kill himself over them.

“No?” she repeated. “So, you being unable to make love to me doesn’t have anything to do with a fear of what Superman might do to you?”

No, but it had everything to do what could happen to her.

“Superman wants you to be happy, and he wants me to be happy,” Clark explained. “He would like nothing more than if we could live happily ever after together.”

“Oh. So, that isn’t part of your…” She cleared her throat. “— problem?”

What exactly did she think his problem was? Did she think that he was… what? Impotent? Clark blushed. He knew he should correct this error in her reasoning but, from a certain point of view, she was correct. His fear for her life made him physically unable to consummate their relationship. “Lois, believe me, if I could make love to you, I would.”

“Uh-huh,” Lois said with another nod, setting her hand on his chest. “Well, thanks for being honest with me, Clark.”

What was left of Clark’s self-worth burned a fiery death, leaving only ashes in its wake.

“Thanks for relieving this kink in my neck. I’m going to take a long hot shower and then I’m going to bed,” she went on. Her eyes focused on his chest and her fingers drew patterns across it in a most delightful manner. “It’s probably best if you sleep on the couch.”

He nodded in agreement. The more she touched him, the more he lost his self-control.

Her eyes widened in panic. “It's not that I’m rejecting you, Chuck, because of this; I’m not. I just think that if you were in bed with me, I’d be distracted from sleeping, and…” She cleared her throat. “I mean, we both need our sleep, and you’re this engrossing puzzle I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of.”

Nice to know, he thought, raising a brow.

“No! I mean, your problem… your difficulty… your dilemma would be on my mind, and I wouldn’t be able to think… function… sleep until I had solved it, and this really isn’t the time or the place to work on it,” she said, backing towards the bedroom door. “Well, it is the honeymoon suite, so I guess this is the place, and we’re supposed to be on our honeymoon, so it would be the time.” She stared at him for a moment as if she were having second thoughts about her earlier decision to stick him on the couch. Then she shook her head. “Of course, this is artificial.”

“And temporary,” Clark concurred.

“A charade,” Lois said.

“An act.”

“Pure make-believe,” she agreed, opening the bedroom door and quickly passing through.

“Good night, Lois,” he called to her.

“Good night!” she replied and slammed the door shut.

Clark sighed. Well, that was awkward. His eyes widened in alarm as he thought over their conversation.

Not tonight, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon Lois planned to start working on solving his ‘difficulty’. He didn’t know if it would turn out to be heaven or hell.

***End of Part 77***

Part 78

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