Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Practically Married (1/1)

So. Please give me some feedback and comments. The change in POV between Lois's narration and the flashbacks in 3rd person are on purpose.

Oh, and did anyone notice just a couple of minor Smallville influences? Points for anyone who can list them.

I'm afraid I can't mention any 'Smallville series' references as I'm guessing they are from the later years and I'm still stuck in S5.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww. This story is so adorable.

This was so adorable! I admit I was a little bit thrown by the switches from first-person to third-person, but it didn't keep me from enjoying this.

Short and sweet! I really like the way they gently fell into love -- no angst, just a gradual movement from friendship to something more.

The message recording was particularly fun:

Lois doesn't miss a trick does she?

I also really liked the explanation of how she figured out he was Superman:

The tense changes were an interesting way to present this story - I think it worked well.

Your 'Lois voice' was perfect.

Great final line. I figure by the time they were living together, Clark wasn't that interested in protecting the secret. In fact, he was probably hoping she would twig, so he wouldn't have to tell her.

Lovely story, Victoria.

Corrina.

I really enjoyed this story. It was fun and well written.

I like how Clark being in love with Lois was the true secret.

Aww :-) what a great story! And Congrats on your first!

I rather enjoyed the POV changes. They helped to tell the difference in what was present and what was a flash back. I would never have thought to do it that way. But I guess that's why I've always been more of a reader than a writer. Lol.

Personally, I think that the kind of intimacy that Lois and Clark shared as roommates, and then as bed-mates, is far more important in the long run than sexual intimacy. (Although the physical intimacy is a lot of fun it doesn't build a solid foundation for a relationship. Lol ) Learning to live with someone like that and placing complete trust in them. After two years of living together so closely, the next step should be made a lot easier.

Great story! I liked your technique of switching POV. And what a great reveal.

Joan

This story reminded me of my husband and myself. We were best friends first and eventually he jut startled staying over at my place every night. Somehow he moved from the couch to the bed (no funny business though haha). Before we knew it, we were in a serious relationship. All of our friends and family had already thought we'd been dating for a while though when we finally told them.

Your story made me smile. It was really cute.

Great story! I love WAFFy fics! Lots of fun, too.

Andreia

This was really sweet. The best marriages start with great friendships. Thanks for making me and a lot of other people smile.

Bob

Aww, you need to get past season 5 ... and onto season 8. Come on. Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate them. And you are right about the reveal. Lois didn't know until she saw the constant use of hear gel.

And yup. I've got one other coming soon, and I'm working on a way to post a much longer story already completed.

So glad it didn't distract you. I like that you think it was 'adorable'.

Thanks. I had fun writing out the message and getting the right bit of humour in there. And I'm glad you noticed Lois's use of 'he' in the message.

Thank you Corrina. I was worried about how well I would be able to shift my portrayals of Lois and Clark from SV to LnC. Glad that it worked.


*laughs* Yes. Plus she did already know about Superman anyway.

Yes, you got everything I was trying to portay by the story and also by that part of the last paragraph.


Thank you. I hadn't wanted to dwell on a Superman reveal in this fic, but realised that I did need to mention something. I came to that last paragraph and had no idea how she'd figured it out. I spent ages trying to come up with some humorous way that she'd noticed. When it finally came to me I knew it was the right one.


Aww. That's so lovely. I can't believe my fic echoes what really happened for you. How wonderful.

Hey Bob. Thanks for your comment. You got the two obvious ones. There is one more but it's really subtle (Season 4 Krypto).

This is such a sweet story! I can totally see Lois moving in "temporarily" but never moving out. I love Clark's proposal. They've been so close for so long, but they just never mentioned romance, and he's so incredibly nervous to bring it up! It's adorable. I can't imagine how (delightfully) tortured he must have been to sleep with Lois for so long without "sleeping" with her. I'd be curious to see his point of view on the relationship.

I liked the way you handled the point of view switch. It was very obvious which parts flashbacks and which were Lois reminiscing. The only point where it detracted for me was the very beginning because it wasn't completely clear who was talking until the first flashback started. I initially assumed that it was Lois, but then I realized that it didn't actually say that it was Lois, so I thought it might be one of those stories where it pulls a switch on you at the end and it's not about who you think it is. For example, I've read stories where Lois was interacting with her husband, only to reveal at the end that he's Dan, not Clark. I don't think that my confusion is really a problem with the story but more me not wanting to be caught off-guard by a bait and switch. I've fallen for enough of them that it's made me wary.

I remember the Krypto episode, at least, sort-of. I re-read your story again and I'm still not seeing it. The first episode of S4 if one of my absolute favorites from Smallville - for one very obvious reason with the initials LL - but Krypto is not a particularly memorable episode.

So, do I have to pull out the S4 disks and watch it or are you going to throw me a bone (sorry, I couldn't resist) and tell me the reference?

Bob

*laughs* Ok.

I posted this story on Ksite last night and someone pointed out a 4th which hadn't occurred to me at all. Duh! And this one is not quite a subtle as the Krypto one.

It's from Season 10 - Ambush.

I really loved this story! Loved the pov shifts, and the reveal at the end was quite entertaining. I like how you showed them just slowly growing more and more together, to the point where they could barely tell when it had all started. Cute and perfect, and I can't wait to see what more you have in store for us!

Everyone else already said it better, but well done! You really showed the growth of their relationship over time, and the ending was just right. Hair gel - HAH!

This was such fun! I was smiling practically all the way through! I love that even though it's mostly in Lois's POV, you can just see Clark all the way through it, not asking how apartment-hunting is going, hoping she's satisfied, happy whenever she calls his apartment home. It was so perfect how they just gradually found themselves closer and closer, and how Lois never even realized it. And poor Clark, stumbling through his proposal and trying so hard -- and I love that Lois was trying to remember what was special, for his sake!

Thoroughly enjoyed this -- thanks!