Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Wrong Clark (157/???)

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

I'm sorry if this part seemed to bounce too much from scene to scene. I was trying to show what was happening at the same time with a bunch of characters. I promise that my scenes will return to their non-concise length by the next part. /Being concise is not a trait I can hold on to for long./

Comments appreciated.

/makes note/ Lois is soliciting a pick-up by a plain clothes police officer on a street corner.
MET STAR: Lex Luthor engaged to hooker – by Samantha Nize

BENDER: It’s obvious that the evidence against Mr. Luthor is fraudulent. The weapon obviously belongs to his fiancée, who, in the past, has entertained dalliances with the victim and performed unspeakable acts in unmarked police cars.

CLARK: Lois has learned about me and Cat hooking up the other day and now she’s ticked off. Note to self: Never let her catch me cheating on her. It’s bad for my health.

Wouldn’t it be funny if Lois tried to kill him and Cat dumped him on the same day?
CLARK: Funny-ha-ha or funny-why-is-there-a-horse’s-head-in-my-bed?

Maybe it’s easier to think about what Lex did to Lois?

Sounds like Peter Pan to me.

Maybe he should eat a cupcake and find himself a Wendy?

LOIS:

/Clark goes off visiting Phil to ‘talk’ to him/

Yep, scared what Lois would do to him, now that she’s got Kryptonite rings.

That’s different. Lex is a creep. Plus, Clark could easily have an accident on Lex while flying past.

LOIS: Think I’m stupid? After what happened the last time I let Clark make a decision?

And now she sounds like Lois.



/snaps photo of street walker/

Preferably with railroad spikes?

CLARK: I’m built nothing like Lois.

LEX: Duh! My fiancée is a proven cheat, with her cheating on her boyfriend with Superman, why shouldn’t she do the same to me?

“we’re looking”



I’m not sure if Lex is going to feel that his ego has been stroked if Lois looks well banged when she gets home.
NIGEL: I don’t think it made much difference that I had them use red crystals for the ring.

HENDERSON:

Good thing Clark can presently hit people without killing them too much.

Maybe they could share?

CLARK: Yes, Det. Henderson. James Bartholomew Olsen here own that yellow lunchbox. You’re saying it contained the bomb? Huh. Yeah, I can see that.

Or you just get a new one.
LEX: Hey! That’s *just* like what I’m doing with relationships.

Well, maybe a naked Lois sunbathing on a rooftop.
SUPERMAN:

I wonder if the baiting was actually a bait and switch to get the crooks to shoot Superman while he’s down for the count…





Awwwww

I think it was on Roseanne… Jackie one stated to her fiancée that the number of men she slept with would still all fit comfortably into a supermarket.
CAT: Well… shopping mall…

LEX: Or until you find a good lawyer. Or a good hitman. Or a good psych ward.

So, it gets easier every 4 years?

And yet she falls for Clark, too…

/points at ‘y’ chromosome.

JIMBO:

DingDingDing!

Plus, it just makes you a comatose beggar if you score with Cat.

Oops?

Michael

Darth Michael:

He doesn't know about someone spying on his luncheon yet.

Gee, I wonder what he'd do with no friends, no Lois, no job, and Superman's rep in tatters?

CLARK:

Ooops. Sorry. Wrong story.


CLARK: I think I just lost my appetite.

What? SHE wasn't crying.



So, he's in denial?

Hence the disclaimer.

He proposed?
CLARK: Yeah. Like I'd ever make THAT mistake again.

Well, Lois gave Clark an ultimatum and such a threat at the end of S2, so maybe a little bit.

LOIS: The word is "pedestrian".

Or porcupine quills dipped in jalapeno sauce and sprayed by a skunk. Whatever.

Lois didn't want Henderson to ask how she knew Superman was built like a human male.
HENDERSON: Soooo tempting.
CLARK: Really? How embarrassing!

CLARK: Cheat on me with you? Yep, she does that.

Thanks. Fixed.

CLARK: /covers ears/ num-num-num. I didn't need to hear that.

Lois does have her own strange logic she's using for reasoning.

Awww. Isn't she sweet?
HENDERSON: /tearing up/ Just what I wanted too.

Do you really think that THIS Clark would ever blame others for what he considers his own mistakes?

LUCY:
LOIS: Don't even THINK about it!
LUCY: Hello! My life.
LOIS: Hello! I have to work those idiots.


TANK: /rubs hands in glee as this story starts to pick up/

Lex can afford new ones. Jimbo not so often. Computers back then still ran in the several K price tag. /fondly remembers first computer I bought with my entire summer paycheck/

CLARK: Actually, that's more like a 'pull' than a 'knock'.

-- Continuation of Response to Darth Michael's FDK --
LEX: Whatever works.

A loving murderous whore?

CLARK: You can do whatever you like to Lois, Luthor, but you can't hurt her unborn child!
LEX: Say, what? She's damaged goods? Terrific. I've wasted another year on no-good woman.
LOIS: One night off every four years!

Nah, that was just animal attraction for a ONS.

Oh, dear. Are my stories become predictable?

CAT: Not every man is known to score twice.

Well, hmmmm, it seems that Readers like to comment when I put Lois, Clark, Cat, or Phil (and/or others) in emotional or physically dangerous scenes.

SPOILER ALERT! AT LEAST ONE CHARACTER DIES IN THE NEXT PART!

Not totally. Although her using "Meena Kent", while calling about an attack on Superman might point that way. But only if you already suspect it.

" I think that should be "him to believe for the moment".

Henderson: grumble, I was hoping she would tell me who she thinks this "killer" is.

Henderson: So she is pretending they are two different people. Or does she still not know they are one and the same?

Although he does not realize only the green rocks are detrimental to Superman's health.

Lois can now stop being undercover because she has proof Lex is a criminal.

Since I used up so many emticons on my last party, I started a new FDK section.

Yes, he is responding with proper speed.

I thought that was what we had when someone in his city tried to ruin Superman's reputation.

That won't happen until he is back in Lois's arms and not being hurt by it.

I don't see Clark getting OK anytime soon. Physically maybe, but not emotionally.

Urrg, Clark, stop assuming so much.

I am surprised he still believes Henderson does not know. Perry seems to not have come close to revealing he knows, but the whole "lips-reading" incident with Clark came close to forcing Henderson to admit to knowing.

that he no longer trusts Lois.

Clark still loves Lois.

This is so sad, that he assumes she attacked him.

I guess some of his pain makes sense, but why has he not considered how Luthor might be behind what occurred.

This is bad.

This is so sad. I have to give up for a bit on my review.

I thought that was why he came to this dimension to begin with.

Why not, other public figures have spouses. It would prevent his wife from having a normal life, but I am sure he could find women who would be willing to accept the situation.

I am half surprised Cat did not give him a snide answer like "oh course, I am just crying because I like to."

So she might have cheated on him with someone else?

It might have helped. However, with Phil feeling so uncertain, he might have just assumed it was Clark's.

I suspect what would have happened was that Phil would have accepted not giving his ultimatum, and accepted staying with Cat. However he would have been resentful about it at heart. I think Cat was wise to not tell him, even if it is causing more pain.

For once I have to support Cat's reasoning. If she had brought up the baby then, Phil would have just resented it, deep down inside.

Of course it is his. The EW is not that mean.

What good does Clark still being Cat's friend do, when she has to not be his friend to make the choice?

Isn't that exactly what Lois told him, on multiple occasions? Like every time she refused to return the watch?

This is where it pays to be more stubborn. Phil can't be happy with Cat having made this choice. He is bound to give in eventually, and then try to convince Cat to take him back on her terms.

True, but technically that will be neither choice.

Or was it Lana and her stay away from Lois ultimatum?

Clark:Lois tried to kill me.

Point to Henderson.

Henderson: I do organized crime, I do not let things leak.

Henderson:You quit the DP for LNN, and got engaged to Lex Luthor who Clark hates and things is a big-time criminal. Somehow I can't see how you and Clark are still working together.

But without the kissing detail, Henderson does not know how close Lois was to Superman, and so is limited from understanding how Kryptonite works.

Lois:The fewer people who understand the real power of Kryptonite the better. If people think it is more powerful than it is, Clark will be safer. They will bring too little to hurt him. So I want people to think it is more deadly and painful to Clark than it really is.

Lex is more evil than I thought. He endangered Lois's life.

At least Henderson knows that much.

Lois, spin it as entirely from the Kryptonite. The more powerful others think it is, the better.

Henderson basically already knows this.

I am surprised she does not also have images of him in the hospital bed.

Lois:I try not to think of those images. They make me too impatient with being separated from him by this investigation.

Lois:He is built much better than other men as well, but that is not something I feel like having Henderson ask how I know.

They would just have to pull up testimony of her various under-cover activities to argue she acted loose with the law and was always after a big story. They would also try and play up a line about her enticing lots of expensive meals out of Luthor with false promises.

They would have to prove that Luthor knew what it was. Even then, they would have to prove an intention to have her expose Superman to it. That works easiest if they can prove these thugs were Luthor's employees. That will be hard to do.

I hope people are not ready to believe such rubbish.

Actually, if he goes that route, he is likely to get convicted of something. 1994 is not the 1850s, men do not have the right in the US to assert their control over their wife by physically attacking (or killing) their wife's lover. Even less so if it is a fiancée and they can not even present evidence of the person being a lover.

But if they do get a warrant, it will destroy Lois being undercover. Oh wait, that would be great.

Lois will have to stop being undercover.

Henderson: How do you know he tried to kill Clark.

On another note, I am surprised under this stress she did not say "he tried to kill Cl ... Superman".

Maybe he put it all on her ring? OK, I am sure that is not what happened.

I think she would say "don't find it with" or "don't get it with", not what she said. Unless she is showing how much the stress is disturbing her.

Although, is Lois trying to make it so she has some story to report?

Henderson: Punch yourself Lois.

But the only arms she has been in today are Clark's.

CK: At least someone feels bad about what Lois has done to me. I hated that, it was the closest I have had to a date with Lois, and yet, it was so far.

Reader: What about at the new spaghetti restaurant by your place.

CK:I meant a sane Lois.

Reader: What about on your birthday.

CK:Well, public date, Anyway Lois broke up with me on my birthday. That was horrible.

So he had an alcoholic mother with no father at all?

OK, so at least Mrs. Olsen was not an alcoholic. Still, she may have been just as disconnected at times.

Reader:Hmm, maybe that is why in alt-world Jimmy is a computer millionaire. His father did not abandon him as a child, and he was able to develop normally.

It don't think that was ever really in doubt. The only contender for Clark in Lois's affections was Superman.

Yes, they had a falling out because Clark did not want Lois to pretend to date him so she could really date his alter-ego.

I thought it was more like very limited dates to try to force SM's hand.

This just shows how clueless he is. Lois did not "dump" Luthor for that. She has already chosen to go on a date with CK over one with Luthor before any shots were fired.

But the shooting was deliberate and planned.

But Luthor shot Lois in the shoulder, not himself in the foot. If he had shot himself and Lois had broken up with him because he was a klutz, Jimbo might have a point, but not now.

He really is an idiot. He should have not acted without knowing anything about what Lois and Clark had been up to since the shooting. Actually, he is more out of the loop than he seems. He should have realized they went on a date to the Kerths together. How did he miss that one?

Clark:We ignored that fact, because we hoped it would make Luthor go away.

Goes to show how clueless he is. Anyway, why does Jimbo care so much about Luthor getting his way and so little about Clark getting it?

Because of all the evil Luthor had done.

Maybe if he had asked her instead of assuming.

He should have at least gone along since she clearly wanted this to be the case.

Jimbo still does not get it. He is not getting why Lois was covering this up.

That will be hard to convince him to do right now.

So do marriages. However, I have to agree with Jimbo here.

That would not help. CK would not believe that Lois loved him at this point, unless Lois tells and shows him in very clear ways.

He could just tell Clark this and get Clark to go there.

we get to meet Dr. Klein again.

Not right now. The number one human authority on Superman, Lois Lane, is in S.T.A.R. labs right now.

Unless Clark has another weakness he has not told Lois about. Not that he has ever explained what Kryptonite does to her either.

At least she is being skeptical. One might be afraid she would want to make Clark suffer as much as her. Okay, not really, That is not how Cat acts.

Lois has accepted they are one and the same for about a month and a half. There is no difference.

Maybe because she wanted to feel free for a little bit. Or maybe because most of her sources do not want to deal with St. John.

This is horrible that Clark thinks Lois would plot this with Luthor.

He really should take "octopus" more seriously.

Clark does have a bad tendency to talk of himself in the 3rd person.

So much for 3rd person detachment.

See, he should pay attention to that.

he still liked having Lois there.

Even when in pain Clark does the Super thing. Thus showing it is not the powers that make him Superman.

That is, he then knew the truth, and has now obscured it. She was not doing anything to him. It was the ring that she accepted from Lex as part of her investigation that was doing something to him.

And this didn't clue Clark into the fact that Lois did not know she had Kryptonite, why?

at least someone gets the truth.

Listen to her words Clark. Anyway, she did not stab you.

Only if she knew she had kryptonite. Since Clark has never explained what it really does to him or given her a really good explanation of what it looks like, how was she supposed to know? He doesn't know that she knows about the watch.

But that makes the story so much less exciting.

Short answer that Clark should give: I don't know.

Or maybe she was sorry that she had not been able to kiss him for a few weeks.

I think that should be "as she walked", although I am not positive it is Cat walking.

I don't think Cat convinced Clark that he was wrong that Lois tried to kill him.

Clark:At least I am not the only one. Although the love of his life did not just try to kill him. Nor has his love of his life gotten engaged to another man. So what has he to be sad about. He brought his problem entirely on himself.

At least he does not lead with the physical.

He really should have listened to Joe, and paused to wonder if he was being rash.

Which is why he should go back, admit he is wrong, and apologize for being a lunkhead.

Clark:See, not all lunkheads are from Krypton.

He could accept that photographs are lies.

But Kent does not want Cat.

Obviously Cat does not care as much about outward appearance as some think.

All true, although Kent cares about her in a brotherly way.

See, he already has given up on making this stand.

Run back and apologize Phil. Tell Cat she was right and you were wrong. The sooner you do it, the sooner she will forgive you. Actually the amount of time that it will take to be forgiven is probably increasing exponentially with each step away from Cat.

Maybe he should have sought to know Cat more before giving ultimatums.

Yes, that would have been wise. Move to Houston and then discuss whether Cat should be running up huge phone bills to call her old friends. OK, that is probably not a good way to do things either. However Phil's ultimatum was a horrible idea.

Now if Clark had said this to Lois when he proposed, maybe she would have said yes. Okay, probably not yes, but she would have probably still figured out how to tell him what she was doing.

Evidently that did not stay true.

One that he made all on his own.

They need to get Phil to come out in the open and explain that this is what happened to more people.

Yes, Phil has let sense come into him. He has swallowed his pride quickly.

We just hope he beats the bomb, and does not find a dead estranged fiancée.

Hopefully it will be a very soon someday.

Jimbo just does not know when to not cut into other people's business.

Oh no, that is the way to make things worse. Just admit what they are Clark.

He just watches the wrong movies. Sometimes the innocent get framed.

Clark:Not everything Jimmy says is the truth.

Since Lois is engaged to another man, what does that have to do with anything. Also, it is totally not true.

Clark does not have the heart to do that. Also, that last line just cut him in another way. Now he really will feel like leaving.

that Clark has given up.

Maybe we have not yet hit bottom. This could kill all of the friends Clark thinks he still has. Perry, Jimbo, Jimmy and Cat may all die.

Darth Michael's comments reminded me of one thing I forgot to mention. I have to officially give up any claims that Lois is pregnant now.

If she was pregnant she would have felt the effects of the Kryptonite on the ring immediately since they would have cause severe negative reactions on the part of her unborn child.

It is no longer workable to claim she is pregnant. If she had been pregnant, the ring would have caused her child to die. However at six weeks into the pregnancy she would have noticed this. So that did not happen. So I have to assume that either

A-Lois and Clark did not go as far in the hospital as his dream implied they had.

or

B-Their actions did not on this occasion cause a pregnancy.

Or C-A combination of both A and B, because Clark's memory implied multiple times doing an action that could have caused a pregnancy, so maybe Lois could argue she was truthful since she might have just been saying his memory of how many times they did certain things was flawed.

John: Whoa, John! You bowl me over.
One would have to be looking for it.

Thanks. Fixed.

Nah, Henderson knows Lane better than that. Actually, he's surprised he's hearing about it before it becomes public knowledge first.

That's part of the fun of knowing the secret, seeing whether or not or when others figure it out as well.

If you ask canon Clark, he would say the red rocks are detrimental as well.



Yep. Superman's rep is in tatters and now someone is using that to justify killing him.

Not necessarily.

It's only a coincidence.

Well, she did just try to kill him.
LOIS: Lex! Lex tried to kill him, using me!

Because it's worse luck if Lois was in on it.

It was. Now, he's wondering if that was such a good idea.

True, but being Superman isn't the same as being an actor or a sports hero. Criminals would be more likely to go after anyone with a close relationship with Superman. Also, no Lois, and she's the only one he wants.

Good point. Cat would be more catty. I'll change it for the Archive version. The line now reads:

CLARK: /hesitantly/ I didn't say that.
CAT: You didn't NOT say it either.
CLARK: Soooooo, you and Phil, huh? My day was worse.

A baby should never be used to save a relationship... it wouldn't bode well, if she had.

That would be bad.

Aw, shucks. Golly gee.

Clark's saying that he wouldn't hold it against her, if she chose Phil over him, and that he'd still be there for her if she ever needed him. Would it help Clark? Not so much.

Clark didn't specifically ask her to stay away from Luthor every time he saw the watch. He didn't say, 'it's your friendship with Lex or it's me. You choose.' Of course, Clark thinks she chose anyway.

Or he might cut his losses...

Exactly what Cat's saying. Ultimatums don't work.

No, after she saw him with the suit on, she gave him a "it's being Superman or marrying me" choice.

LEX: Isn't he cute?

It could be a joint story between the DP and LNN.

What? Superman rescued Lois, taking her into his arms and up into the sky. That's pretty close.

LEX: But Kryptonite isn't supposed to hurt humans.

The better to hurt Superman with? The better the criminal will start searching for it again with?

The roof scene was more recent.

Exactly.

BENDER: Sounds good enough for an acquittal to me.

Who said that they were?

Well, after Arianna's and LNN's smear campaign...

Yes, but he could claim that he thought it worked like a force field to keep that naughty Superman away from his woman.

It would be difficult to remain as Lex's fiancee if he knew she was the one who brought her ring to the police, yes.

/Hmmmm/ Me thinks this investigation may have gone on too long.
CLARK: Tell me about it.

-- Continuation of Response to John's FDK --
LOIS: Well, there's the watch... which has NOTHING WHAT SO EVER to do with hurting Clark...

Two reasons: 1) She's already revealed his secret to Perry, she doesn't need another slip up, so she's being extra careful. 2) Some time has already passed and she's passed the initial spike in stress this situation brought.

LOIS: Yeah, and maybe he put all of it on the watch. I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Sorry. Fixed.

Lex is more likely to believe her story if she was injured during the abduction attempt. She was scratched up a little bit during her fight on the stairs, but nothing huge. Superman saved her from being hurt when they crashed on the roof.



Maybe...

Yes, but Lois never told anyone *that*.

CLARK:

Not literally. Figuratively, shooting oneself in the foot.

Of course, Jimbo was out of the loop. He wasn't working at the DP at the time and only knew what was happening when Jimmy happened to mention something in passing. Lois went to the Kerths with Lois. Jimmy had been kind enough not to rub in his budding relationship with Lucy in his cousin's face.

JIMBO: How was I supposed to know that?

Jimbo doesn't know this about Lex.

At that point, Jimbo was trying to help Lois. He didn't know that Clark had a shot at her.

JIMBO: So, Lois, I see that you've been down lately. Had your heart broken recently, or something?

He thought she had said this to either save face or make Luthor jealous.

Why should he?

CLARK: Not really in the mood. But thanks, Jimbo.

Perry said that she was undercover at LNN, which is why she couldn't have direct contact with Clark.

But she's not unbiased, nor a scientific authority.

LOIS: He better not have. Um... Clark doesn't know Kryptonian.

Saving Lois is always forefront in his mind.

So, you're saying that Clark is using revisionist history or looking at what happened with hindsight. Gee, none of us do THAT.

He thought it was a distraction technique.
CLARK: I must say it was an ingenious idea and it almost worked.

Even so, the Kryptonite dust on the ring isn't easily visible. It isn't a large amount and it was located under the setting, which is why Lois didn't notice it. The watch was made of actual stones. The ring is neither green nor red, so she wouldn't think Kryptonite.



CAT: Details. Details.

CAT: I have layers.
CLARK: Like an ogre?
CAT: No, not like an ogre!
EW: /Sorry, saw Shrek again recently and couldn't help myself/

Good advice.

The relationship had to be rushed. He's moving.

Aren't most ultimatums?

LOIS: Okay. Give me the night full of hot passion and then ask me to marry you, Clark, and I'll consider it.
CLARK: Uh...

Guess Phil isn't a LNN / Met Star follower.

CAT: Always a good choice when in a relationship with me. Oh, dear. Did I say that aloud?



JIMBO: /glances down at job description/ But it says here, 'must interrupt as many conversations as possible'. It doesn't say that they are all must be with Lois and Clark.

It's none of Jimbo's business that someone is trying to ruin Cat's life.

JIMBO: Really? Huh. Imagine that.
LOIS:

Guy code. /i.e. do not date friend's girlfriends/ Jimbo assumes it applies to girls as well.
JIMMY: Oooops. Wait! Jimbo stole Lucy from me first.

And here I made it less harsh than in the original Beta version.

LOIS: That would be bad. REALLY, really bad.
EW: What about Eduardo, Valdez, Ralph, Wally, Pete, Glenn, and all the other staffers? Should they survive as well?

The only one who knows the truth about what happened at the hospital is Lois and she's not talking.
CLARK: She said nothing happened and that I have an active imagination.
LOIS:
EW:

I guess I should have said only the green rocks are detrimental to Superman's physical health.

Although actually 2 of the three times we see red K in Lois and Clark it has physical effects on Superman.

I have to agree with Lois here. Also, if Clark would have stayed just out of the range of the green Kryptonite and listened to Lois, he would already know this.

My response to the first part is, Henderson is married. OK, he is not quite as high-profile a target, but still. The later part I think is the real answer.

I am not saying that the wife of Superman could have a normal life. But I think he could set up a way for her to be safe most of the time.

I think that is what I was trying to say.

It does when they are pregnant with a half-Kryptonian child.


I think I meant to have a "this year" qualifier in there, since they also went on a date to the Kerths, or at least it became a date at some point.

Lois:This way I get both the invitee's desert and the desert meant for the invitee's guest. (OK, I know you meant to say Jimmy, but still).

But why can't he go see Lois at the Soup Kitchen, if Jimbo can?

Some details of Ordinary People seem better to ignore. I loved the beach scenes, although I think Clark should have admitted to Lois that he lost the bet and used his powers to scare off the tiger. The getting the cheese from France made sense, but when he started running off mid-sentence for chocolate and Peruvian ice, it seemed a bit much. It was funny, but it seemed a bit far fetched. "Ordinary People" is one of the shows that illustrates that "Lois and Clark" was a sit com. They built up story lines and issues in one episode, and then almost ignored them later on. Although "Top Copy" and "That Good Old Gang of Mine" are the worst on that front.

Cat does not know this.

Mihgt be a tad busy from time to times, but still there. One has to keep up with the cape flapping. Miss one episode and you have no idea what’s going and who’s sleeping with whom and who’s carrying who’s love child and who’s sister is sleeping with who’s twin.


Meanwhile…
HT Wells: Huh, I wonder if I needed that fuse that just blew over there on the time machine…

Michael

CLARK: Well, that's before the red rocks made me horny.

3 times? I thought it was only S2's Individual Responsibility and S4's Lethal Weapon. When was the third time?

So, you're saying I need to get those crazy couple together in a room without Kryptonite to talk?
LOIS: Can the lock be broken?

Well, Henderson was targeted once (when he and Perry were younger) and framed for murder.

That's part of the fun of alt-Clark fanfic.

LOIS: Cat is pregnant with Superman's Love Child!?
PHIL: What?!
LEX: Works for me!
CLARK:

Oh, you mean "this year" as in 1994, not the last 365 days.

Jimbo isn't as well known by the people at LNN who could be spying on Lois.

Yeah. That's one of the reasons my stories are so long. I'm always trying to make sense of the lack of continuity.

Oh, right.