CHAPTER 4
It's a short one
Jonathan Kent sat at the kitchen table as promised when Clark arrived home, but didn’t speak for a moment as Clark sank down in the chair opposite of him.
“Here, you look like you need this” Jonathan said as he slid a glass of chocolate milk toward Clark.
One side of Clark’s mouth quirked up at that, but he didn’t speak as he picked the glass up and took a drink.
“How was it?” Jonathan asked.
“Like tearing my arm off,” Clark replied.
“Are you sure it’s worth it then?”
“Looking at those people tonight was like tearing my soul out, so yeah, it was the lesser of two evils.”
“No chance for middle ground?”
Clark sat there for a moment pondering how to put into words the concepts that at been rocketing through his brain since he sat on Lana’s porch.
“It’s not just dividing my attention between her and my duties, it’s more than that. I finally saw that tonight.”
Jonathan sat quietly with his chin rested on his hand. His silence urged Clark to continue.
“Lana told me she was willing to accept me for what I am and that she wanted a future together.”
Jonathan raised an eyebrow at that, but still didn’t speak.
“She knows by the way,” Clark added nonchalantly.
Both eyebrows went up at that point.
“She admitted as much, but I never out and out confirmed things. It didn’t seem to matter at that point. But when she started talking about the future it finally hit me. It wasn’t just dividing myself between a relationship and Superboy, it was that she really didn’t know what she was accepting.”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Jonathan said.
“People look at the uniform and the flashy powers and all they see is the adventurous super-hero. They don’t comprehend the full picture. I may look human, but I’m not. I’m the last surviving specimen of an alien species. I don’t even know if I can have children with a human. Regardless of this crazy life I’ve chosen I don’t even know what my life expectancy is. The moment I sat foot upon this world my entire biology began to change and there’s never been a test case to let me know what the long term affects will be. I could be killed by Mordru tomorrow or I could live to be hundreds if not thousands of years old. I might never age or I might age at a normal rate and eventually become a super-powered Alzheimer’s patient. What kind of future could I truly offer someone?”
Jonathan sat back in his chair. Clark had just voiced many of the thoughts he had secretly had himself, but was always too afraid to speak aloud.
“In the end,” Clark continued, “the truth is that I really can’t offer anyone anything. My mind will always be on the job and I won’t be able to offer anything, but a partial relationship and the part I can offer is tainted by too many questions with no guarantees. And, to be totally honest, I have to ask myself if I would really be strong enough to watch someone I love slowly grow old and die all the while thinking that they are resenting me because I can’t. Or afraid that they’re only staying with me out of some misplaced sense of loyalty because I had crushed all of their dreams of a normal life and future before we even got started. I can’t do that to someone or to myself.”
“But, you’re going to end up alone that way,” Jonathan said.
“No I won’t, Dad” Clark replied and at Jonathan’s puzzled expression added, “I have you and Mom.”
Jonathan’s expression softened and he replied “But what happens when your mom and I are no longer here?”
“With any luck that’s something my mature and wise 70 year old brain can ponder on when and if it finally happens,” Clark said with a small smile.
Jonathan laid his hand on top of his son’s, but remained silent providing comfort with just his presence. Sometimes even the best parent was at a loss to help their children solve the big problems or answer the tough questions. He hoped Clark would come to his senses and realize that no man was an island, but he knew that Clark wasn’t in any frame of mind to listen to that sort of advice now. And in truth though he knew Clark was wrong he really didn’t have a good argument to counter his logic at the moment. The fact of the matter was that Clark’s responsibilities would be a burden on whoever his partner may be and she’d have to be an extraordinary individual to shoulder it. Hopefully, though, Clark was right and he and Martha would be there until he met that person. He hated the thought of his son being alone especially after a day like today when he needed someone to talk to.
But, sometimes even adults tend toward the belief that there will always be time to worry about things later and unfortunately, sometimes there isn’t.
1 year later…
In stark contrast to an occasion that cried out for rain the sun was bright in the sky and the weather as beautiful and any seen in Kansas over the past two decades. It was the kind of weather that might make some swear that nothing bad could be happening anywhere. Unfortunately, as always such predictions rarely held true in real life.
Clark Kent stood at the graveside of his adoptive parents watching silently as they lowered his father into his final resting-place beside his wife who had preceded him in death by only three days. For the second time in his life the child from the stars found himself an orphan. The mysterious illness that had claimed the elder Kents had been as sudden as it was deadly. They had returned from a vacation in the Bahamas only a little over a month earlier and the first symptoms had appeared soon after that. Clark had consulted with the finest medical minds both on and off Earth, but not one of them could identify the malady or retard it’s rapid advance through Martha and Jonathan’s systems. In the end all Clark could do was watch helplessly as the two most important people in his life slowly slipped away.
He nodded his head and numbly answered each well wisher as they passed by the grave paying their last respects and stopping briefly to speak with Clark. He was aware of Martin Lang’s presence long before he felt the older man’s hand rest itself upon his shoulder as he approached Clark from behind. Clark was also aware of Martin’s daughter, Lana who had approached along with her father and now slid her hand into his.
“You’re still coming to supper with us aren’t you Clark?” Martin Lang asked.
“I’m not sure Professor,” Clark answered “there’s still a lot of things that need to be done around the house.”
“Nothing that can’t wait, Clark. You just buried your parents, now’s not the time to start isolating yourself.”
“Yes sir, Professor Lang,” Clark replied meekly giving Lana’s hand a small answering squeeze and smiling slightly at her.
“Besides,” Martin continued, “I’m anxious to hear about your college plans. I understand you’ve corrupted my daughter into looking at journalism rather than a nice solid career in academia.”
“Dad-dy…” Lana began rolling her eyes.
“Tut, tut, dear,” Professor Lang said his hand still on Clark’s shoulder beginning to guide him away from the graveside “you obviously missed my comments on the virtues of tenure and summers off.”
Clark smiled politely at their banter recognizing it for the attempt it was to distract him from slipping into a pit of despair. They needn’t have worried he could have told them. He was raised better than that. He owed all the people who had called themselves his parents better than that. Superboy had a responsibility to the world and responsibility shouldn't be side tracked by self-pity. His parents, Clark told himself, had always reminded him to be mindful of his responsibilities and look toward the future and that was exactly what he intended to do. He silently vowed to not surrender to despair and willingly allowed himself to be led from the graveside.
Despite his thoughts to the contrary though, Clark was consciously trying to ignore the feeling that was winding up his spine as the sight of the casket being lowered into the grave tickled at some long forgotten memory and left him wanting to jump out of his own skin. As he left the gravesite his phenomenal hearing picked up the sound of dirt and rock bouncing off the coffin and hidden behind a polite expression he fought the urge to scream.
TBC...
(Next up...METROPOLIS!!!)
