Just a quick note before you’ll get to read part 3. As you may have noticed in the header, there are now five parts for Lost Without You. While writing the final part, I found there was more I wanted to tell than really fitted into one part. What can I say? I like to play with words. <g> I’m also one of those who usually exceed the word limit for homework assignments. 
Now on to Part 3... Hope you’re still reading. Part 3 “Then I end the meeting here. Have fun today and bring the best stories you’ve got!” Perry told the entire group.
Clark stared at him in surprise. Surely this couldn’t be the end? Not without having discussed Luthor and who got the story!
“Lois, Clark, please wait just a minute,” Perry addressed them.
After the room had cleared out, it was suddenly very silent. Clark wondered what Perry’s plan was. At least it all happened in private now so whatever was said or discussed wouldn’t be the next topic for all the gossipers.
“No need to have a fight over this. I’m assuming you’ll both behave.” When they both said nothing, Perry continued. “Lois, tell me what you have, then.”
Perry let Lois go first. It was only natural; the Chief was already aware of Clark’s plans since they had been working together the last few weeks.
“Thank you,” she said with what looked like a smug smile.
Clark watched Lois as she glanced around her with a fixated look on her face. When her eyes met his, Clark could swear that if looks could kill, he wouldn’t be alive any longer. He looked back at her, not being all that friendly either.
“I have been thinking about this the last couple of days,” Lois started. “Most of the news about Luthor’s jump to death and the fall of his empire has been written.”
Both Perry and Clark nodded, even though it was still unclear where Lois was headed.
“But investigations into the sudden disappearance of Luthor’s corpse from the morgue is something I haven’t seen yet.”
“Yeah, but...” Clark interfered, wanting some participation.
“Let her finish, Clark.” Perry fixed him with a stern glare. His boss must have something in mind. “After Lois is done, you can respond.”
Lois gave Perry an appreciative smile before continuing. “So that’s something I want to look into. Next, it’s time to start talking to some of Luthor’s business associates. I’m curious to hear what they think of it all and if they ever suspected anything.”
Clark was about to interrupt again, but thought the better of it. He’d tell Lois what he thought of that idea later. Even though she had some good suggestions, she was not the person to work on this problem! Stay calm, he reminded himself, just stay calm.
“I was also hoping to run into Superman and ask about his opinion. He had to have known. So why did he remain silent? Why didn’t he tell anyone, not even the cops, about his suspicions?”
“Lois, what do you even know about Superman? What makes you think he *could* tell anyone? Even if he had suspicions in the first place!” Clark said, immediately jumping to defense. He couldn’t believe what she’d just said! What did Superman have to do with this? And how on Earth had she come to such a ridiculous conclusion?
Maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous. After all, he had often reached the point of talking to Lois, in his Superman guise, about everything he knew, only to get scared and reconsider at the last moment. It still didn’t make her accusations right, though!
“Hold your horses right there, Kent. I said to let Lois finish!” Perry slammed his fist on the table to put more emphasis behind his already roaring voice.
“Fine,” he replied sheepishly before crossing his arms in front of his chest and slumping back in his chair.
Perry turned back to Lois. “Was that all, or is there more?”
“I think that’ll do for now, Perry. It should keep me busy for a few days.”
“You’re right about that. Now, Clark, what are your plans about this topic?”
“About the same,” he started to explain.
“Ha!” Of course, that was Lois, who was immediately silenced by Perry.
Clark sat up straight again and laid his hands down on the table, ready to stand up if he needed to.
“Except that I’m not interested in Superman’s response,” he continued. “However, I do want to find out everything that can be nailed to Luthor’s coffin. So far, we know of the Planet’s bombing, space station Prometheus, the heat-wave and the Toasters. I have strong leads that say Luthor’s responsible for Mentamide 5, Miranda’s pheromone and that Superman clone. I suspect there’s a whole lot more and I’m ready to go uncover it,” he ended his speech.
He glanced back at Lois, waiting for a sharp reply. She looked shocked, however. Didn’t she know? Quite possibly, he suddenly thought. She was Luthor’s wife after all. He couldn’t imagine what sort of dirt had been published about her. He hadn’t read a paper or watched TV in order to avoid that. He didn’t want to remember how he had lost her. How much that had hurt him. So if he had avoided it, he figured, so could she.
He shrugged and returned his attention to the conversation. Now was not the moment to miss important information or possible jibes at his expense.
Lois seemed to quickly recover and started asking questions. “What proof do you have for that? And why do you want to let Superman off the hook? Do you have something to hide?”
Hide? What in the world could he be hiding?
“I’m not hiding anything. And I have a lot of proof back at my apartment.” He stood up abruptly and let his chair fall to the ground. “I have *investigated* Luthor already. Remember? That’s how the police was able to storm your wedding - with evidence I’d collected.” His voice just dripped with sarcasm, exposing his rapidly building anger.
Calm! Stay calm! He tried, he really tried to listen to reason and not start barking again. But she was accusing him and doubting his integrity as a reporter. She should know better. Just as she should know she was too close to the subject to be objective.
How close or objective are you then? Darn that sub consciences of him! Clark ignored the voice in his head and focused on Lois again. They had both marched up to Perry and were only separated by a table now.
“But you weren’t there. Why was that? Were you scared?” She looked triumphant with her hands on her hips.
“What?!?” Clark blinked. What was she trying to do here?
“You heard me.”
“I am not and never was scared of that man! You can’t blame me, just because you couldn’t see what Luthor was really after!”
For a moment, she looked taken aback, but she quickly recovered. “How could I? No one told me about it! He had everyone fooled, Kent!”
“And you call yourself Metropolis’s best investigative reporter?”
“That’s enough!” Perry barked. “Stop it right there, you two.”
Perry’s commanding voice brought Clark back to the present. His boss looked gobsmacked - rightly so, even. This was so unlike him; he couldn’t remember ever having been so involved in a discussion and getting so low. What was going on with him?
He was arguing with Lois - again. This time it wasn’t even a professional fight. What was he thinking? Why had he lost his temper again while he knew he had to stay calm? Could he really be so upset that she had chosen a criminal over her best friend?
Then there were also all the hurtful comments he’d just flung at her. Now they were *never* going to make up. He didn’t deserve her if he was going to act like such a jerk around her. Maybe it was for the best she was tied to another man - even if that man was dead.
He walked back to his place and glanced back at Lois. She looked even more flushed than when she’d entered. This time, though, it came from their heated argument. She looked a bit startled, too; as if she was somewhat disorientated.
They had both just focused on the other and had completely forgotten about Perry. This was not how his mother had raised him! Clark just couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He loved her, after all! Maybe that was the entire point of it...
He turned his head to Perry. If it hadn’t been for him, he’d still have been yelling at Lois.
“Thank you for acknowledging me,” Perry said sarcastically without leaving room for replies. “I like the ideas the both of you have. I expect to see some stories by the end of the day!”
“End of the day? But...” Lois sputtered.
“Yes, end of the day. I expect you to work as partners again. One way or the other, you two will have to find a way to do that. I don’t care how. I just want the copies by 10pm tonight!”
“But Perry!” Lois and Clark spoke at once.
Surely he didn’t expect them to actually work together? Clark was certain that would be a disaster. Right now, they couldn’t even agree on anything. They took every chance they had to argue.
“Last time I checked, I still gave the orders around here. Now, it looks to me like you two have some personal issues. I want you both to behave like professionals and work together. Like you used to. Do I make myself clear?”
There was no arguing with Perry. Even Lois looked defeated. She was mad as well. Well, so was he! This wasn’t his decision. They just had to make the best of it.
Perry stood up and without a word, he left the room to Lois and Clark. Lois had walked over to the coffee table and was busy pouring herself a cup.
Clark grabbed his stuff - two pens, some scattered around pages Perry had handed out, and his notebook - and pushed it in his old leather bag. He took a few deep breaths and prepared himself mentally to confront Lois up close again, this time staying calm and friendly.
Getting up slowly, he had to practically drag himself to the coffee table. Lois acknowledged his presence with an angry glare.
Between a few gulps of coffee, she said, “Let’s take this private so we can discuss,” the last word was said with sarcasm, “it and figure out where to go next.”
“Suits me,” he replied. “Your place of mine?”
“Mine, since I’m driving.”
“Fine,” Clark answered. He let her go first while he followed her out of the restaurant to where she had left her Jeep.
*****
Lois turned off the engine as she parked her jeep in front of her apartment building.
During the entire ride, there had been an uncomfortable silence. She really didn’t want to speak to Clark, but on the other hand, she did. Right now, she didn’t even know what to say to him, let alone know why she had invited him here after everything that had happened.
Okay, she did know why they were at her apartment. They needed to talk, seriously, about a lot of things. Especially if after that they also wanted to get work done and get Perry his front page article.
Right now, though, they had to focus on their differences. She knew he had a wrong idea about her, so if he just knew the truth, she hoped they could talk about the rest. She knew about his feelings regarding Luthor, so in a way, she knew why he was so resentful to her. It just had to end.
Clark had changed during the last couple of months, however. Ever since she had accepted Luthor’s proposal, he had refused to work with her and talk to her. Despite her resolutions in the morning, she had acted hostile toward him again. She really couldn’t help it!
They just didn’t seem to be able to talk without stabbing and hurting. Well, she would try to do better now! If they didn’t manage to talk things out now, she was afraid she’d lose him forever. That just couldn’t happen. Not now! Now when she had finally figured out who she really loved.
They just needed to talk. About a lot of things. Surely they could work it out? Like they always used to? They’d had fights before. None of them had been as serious as this, but Lois was determined to make it work.
It just had to!
What would happen if he refused to talk? She couldn’t let herself think about that option. It would kill her if Clark refused to talk to her now. Especially after she had said no to Lex in front of the altar and then minutes later her former fiancé jumped of the highest building in Metropolis.
She needed Clark now. To get over that disaster. To restore their friendship. To restore her faith in humankind. To be loved.
Love.
Finally.
She really needed Clark’s love and support now.
Never in her life had she been loved before. Sure, her parents loved her. They just had a weird way of showing it. And she knew Lucy loved her, but her sister was off in California chasing boys. That sort of love wasn’t what she was looking for, though. She wanted to love and be loved by the opposite sex. The unconditional sort of love; no matter what she did, the man would stay with her. While she had been involved with men before, she had never loved them. Not even Lex. Especially not Lex!
Lex was just there, a chance to see what her life could be like. Since her heart wasn’t involved, it was safe. She couldn’t be hurt. Well, that wasn’t really true. She was in pain now - emotional pain. But that was all because of Clark and their issues.
Clark Kent.
The man who was following her to her apartment right now.
The man she was supposed to work with.
The man who refused to talk to her.
The man who had lied to her.
The man she was hopelessly in love with.
*That* Clark Kent.
All she needed to do was to stay calm. Don’t get angry again, she told herself sharply. It won’t help and it will probably be the final straw to pull him from her.
At least she was in a friendly environment. In her apartment, she felt safe. She knew the way around and there would be ways to escape temporarily if she did threaten to end up getting angry again. No, not angry again; she would stay *calm* and she wouldn’t *yell*.
They had arrived at her apartment. Lois reached in her bag for the keys. “Where did they go?” she muttered under her breath.
“Try the pocket of your jacket,” she heard Clark say.
Giving him a quick glance - he stood against the other wall, hands in the pockets of his trousers, one foot resting on the wall, and the other on the floor with his eyes focused on the other foot - she checked her pocket and indeed found the keys there.
She could swear she hadn’t put the keys in there when she’d left the apartment earlier. How had they ended up in there, then? Maybe she had been too pre-occupied and too focused on getting to the meeting on time to have noticed.
The three locks were opened quickly, and the door swung wide open, revealing her living room. It was good fortune now that Lois had cleaned her place a bit the other day. At least it was presentable now, well, at least good enough for Clark to see. He had seen her place worse than this, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
Why was she suddenly worrying about small things like that? Half an hour ago they had been arguing! Arguing about what probably was the most important subject in their life.
She didn’t have much time to think it through any more. Clark walked past her and she closed the door behind him. She followed him into her living room.
Panic suddenly kicked in. Now what were they supposed to do and say? Should she offer him some coffee? Should they just get down to business?
Maybe something to drink first.
Yeah, that sounded like a plan. It would give her some extra time anyhow.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asked.
“No, thanks. Maybe later.”
So nothing to drink and no extra time for her. At least Clark sounded more relaxed and open. That had to be an improvement. Now what should she say?
Clark walked to her sofa and sat down with his back to her bedroom. He faced her directly.
“Yeah, do sit down,” Lois muttered under her breath while she made a wave with her right hand.
Clark looked up sharply. Had he heard her? No, it wasn’t possible, was it? She hadn’t really said that loud enough for him to hear.
Lois approached a chair - the one she had bought the other day on impulse to do something else besides thinking of her failed wedding or Clark; the one she could sit on without being uncomfortable. She leaned back on it and stared at the handsome but depressed-looking man in front of her.
“Let’s just get down to business, Lois. The sooner we’re done here, the sooner I’m out of your sight again,” Clark said.
“Who said I didn’t want you around me?” Lois asked surprised.
“Are you saying you want me around?” Clark sounded even more astonished than she felt. Where had he got that impression?
So she had been hostile and rude and whatever more. But she needed Clark, of that she was sure.
“Yes, Clark, I need you,” she replied. To add in a whisper, “Now more than ever.” .”
“How? How could you possibly need me?” The sharpness and defense were back.
“I missed you, Clark. Terribly,” she admitted.
“*You* missed *me*?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Hard to believe? Lois, you never gave me any clues that made me think so. You ignored all my warnings, you refused to listen to me and you chose not to see what was right in front of you. Where in all that was the evidence that you did, indeed, need me?” At that point he stood up and started to pace around the coffee table. “Instead, you chose Luthor. The man who killed many innocent people, who didn’t think twice about destroying the Planet because it fit with his plans and who never even cared about you. That was your choice. So how on Earth can you say you have missed me? You put me off. If you did miss me, you could have called me more often or visited me, but you didn’t.”
Lois noticed the change in his voice. He had started out quite normally, but the more he said, the more bitter he sounded.
Clark suddenly stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes. She saw the pain in there; he didn’t even try to hide it. She had really hurt him with her actions. How had she ever let it come this far? Before she could find out, Clark continued.
“You made your decision and that was very clear to me. I just want to know where I stand now, Mrs. Luthor,” he finished in an ice-cold voice.
Lois blinked. Not that again! She had to get it out of his head immediately.
“Clark, I...”
“Never mind, Lois. I’ve figured it out. We’ll work together now, but after that, we’ll just have to convince Perry to let us work separately.”
“But, Clark...”
“It’s okay. I know it’s what you want and I’ll deal with it.” He sounded so lost and full of pain; she had to fix this!
“Clark! Listen to me! That’s not what I want at all. And I am *not* Mrs. Luthor!”
“You... What?!?”
“I never married him. When it was time for me to say ‘I do’, I couldn’t go through with it. That’s what I told Lex. He knew it. How could I marry him when I loved someone else?”
Clark stared at her in disbelief. She knew it must be hard for him to believe what she’d just admitted, but surely he must be relieved about it as well.
He just stood there and stared at her. It was driving her nuts. Had he lost his voice?
After what seemed like an eternity, she walked around the chair and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Clark?” she asked tentatively, not sure if he was still with her.
He blinked with his eyes at the same time he quickly shook his head a few times.
“I’m sorry, Lois. It’s just hard to believe what you just said.” His voice sounded softer and far friendlier than before. Maybe there was hope after all. “You’re really not married to him?” he asked incredulous.
“It’s true,” she told him while tilting her head to look at his face. “I stopped the wedding at the last minute. I simply couldn’t marry him.”
All of the sudden, Clark’s face lit up with one of his huge smiles. His arms came around her, and he enveloped her in hug. Lois immediately hugged him back, enjoying the warmth and loving feelings she got from him. It had been a long time since they had had such a contact, and Lois realized she had missed it as well as everything else about Clark.
After a few moments, Clark broke the contact. He stared at her and she couldn’t interpret what he was feeling.
“I’m sorry, Lois, I...” he started.
She gave him an encouraging smile while she cut him short. “It’s okay, Clark. I’m glad you took the initiative.”
“You are?” he asked surprised.
Lois nodded while grabbing his arm. She pulled him with her to the sofa and sat down. “I think we should talk. Really talk.”
“Yeah. Maybe you can start by telling why you didn’t marry Luthor,” Clark started gently.
“Okay.” Lois took a breath before she continued. “In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I missed you. Terribly!” She turned a bit to look at Clark and his reaction, but he just nodded and smiled. “Then, on the wedding day, I started to think. And I realized it wasn’t Luthor I loved, but still I continued. I mean, I didn’t want to stop the wedding at such a moment just because I had cold feet. It’s normal.” She stopped for a moment again. Now came the crucial part and she grabbed Clark’s hand for support. “When I walked down the aisle, images popped in my head. I remembered all the fun moments and good times we had shared. Only then did I realize who I really wanted to be with. So I said no to Lex.”
As she ended her story of that day, she looked hopefully at Clark. She was so honest and open now; if only Clark would understand it and hopefully, feel the same way about her.
“You did all that because of me?” Clark asked incredulous.
“Yeah,” she replied in a small voice, afraid to get hurt.
“So you don’t want a life with the third richest man in the world, who could offer anything you ever wanted and open doors that normally would remain closed for you?”
“No, Clark. I’m not looking for that.”
“Okay, so what do you want?”
A silence fell. Lois hadn’t let go of his hand, and she felt him squeeze a bit for reassurance.
“You,” she said, barely louder than a whisper. Trying again, this time a bit louder, “It’s you I want.”
“Oh Lois!”
His arms came around her again and she rested her head on his shoulder.
From far away, she could hear Clark say something. “Oh, Lois, you have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that.” A kiss landed on top of her head, she could feel it clearly. The skin there burned with pleasant feelings. “I love you, Lois,” Clark exclaimed.
“You do? I mean, of course you do, you just told me for the second time. So of course! But, oh, I mean...” Lois stammered, nearly ready to launch in one of her babbles. His mood swing was very sudden, but she didn’t mind. He loved her too! It was such a relief, that she nearly forgot to respond. “I love you, too,” she finished in a whisper. Shyly she looked at Clark from under her eyelashes.
Their mouths drew together as if there was a special bond in the air. Lois could feel Clark’s breath passing by her just before their lips touched. He tasted wonderful - there was just a small hint of coffee left. She lost herself in the wonderful sensations he created inside her. Arms flew through the air to pull the other closer, but never did they break the intimate contact. She could feel Clark’s hand caress her hair while she moved her hands around his back.
All of the sudden, the magic broke and the moment was over. Clark was standing next to the couch, looking very apologetic.
“Lois, I’m
so sorry, but I eh... I need to meet with a source I totally forgot about. I’ll be right back!”
Before she could react or say something, Clark was out the door.
What had just happened?
Was is it something she had done or said?
She quickly walked the distance to the door, checked the hallway, but saw no sign of Clark. She threw the door shut and sank against it with her knees pulled to her chest.
What had just happened?
It had all seemed to go so well. They were finally talking, open and completely honest. She had told him the truth, she really loved him.
He had said it, too. Before her, even. So was it just a lie? A way to manipulate her? Didn’t he really love her? The kiss they had just shared had been wonderful, better than she had ever expected a kiss could be.
Absentmindedly she trailed her tongue over her lips, still tasting Clark. A tear fell down her face.
What had happened? Why had he run away?
She had so many questions and no answers at all.
She couldn’t stand to lose Clark. Not now, when it finally seemed there was a chance for them after all. Yet he kept running away from her and he hadn’t told her his point of view on the entire Luthor issue either.
She had really lost him, she suddenly realized. There was no other way!
Her arms hugged her legs while she rested her head on her knees and let the tears come freely.
*****
TBC...
