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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR FRIEND!!! Thank you so much for this lovely addition to the haircut challenge!! Beautifully written... as usual, and you had me going as to which man Lois was marrying... Have a wonderful holiday and have fun camping next week! We'll miss ya!! Missy
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Awwwwwwwww, Mere - what a beautiful, waffy, poignant story you've woven around a simple haircut. I loved the connection between the haircut and the wedding and all the subtle ties you introduced to bind them together, the touches of humour, and that ending. Superb! Brava!! I figured from the start that we were talking Lex here, but you still keep me just on that edge of wondering if I was right or about to be proved wrong all the way through. Wonderful! Just wonderful. Have a wonderful trip! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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First of all, Happy Birthday Meredith!! You just wrote a beautiful story. I had a feeling from the start you were talking about Lex. And it ends just great, in Clarks strong arms. Recently I've found I don't like story from the POV in first person, but it works really well here. So great job! And show us more fic soon! Have fun at your camping trip! Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Hello Meredith (and everyone else too), This story was wonderful! The characterization of Lois was very touching, and I loved the POV - "hearing" her directly explain her thoughts and feelings was very powerful. You had me fooled for a while as to who her fiance was (it's been a long day...), but I loved watching her come to the realization of how she really felt about her impending marriage. Congratulations on a challenge response so poignant that it inspired me to de-lurk and let you know that I enjoyed reading it. And happy birthday too! Allison
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Nicely done, Mere.
The first person works well in both hiding who she is really going to marry, and giving us access to Lois thoughts and fears. It is very natural (once we find out which wedding she's really talking about) for her to worry about losing herself, her identity in marriage. With Lex there could be no other outcome. She would be Mrs. Luthor first and formost (because that's the way Lex would have demanded it to be) and Lois Lane would come in a distant second.
I like how you had Lois coming to terms with 'the new Lois', a person she didn't recognize at first.
Only one small problem. When Lois irrationally blames the haircut for killing Lex Clark merely states that it will grow out in a few weeks. Clark wouldn't do that. He would gentley remind her that such an idea was ridiculous and then he'd probably tell her that he thought it looked good. His role there was to comfort her.
This was another excellant story in this little challenge series (which I'll remind everyone was Bethy's idea, but one I wholeheartedly endorse). Hopefully many more will take up the gauntlet and we'll see many more of these (except from Kaethel) before it's done.
Tank the Retired (who would wish Mere a happy birthday but doesn't want to seem cliqued)
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Nice story, good job!
Melisma
Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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happy not your birthday anymore, mere! hope it was a good one. but then you settled into some very cool introspection and then POW! wrong wedding! didn't see that coming. nice twist. lovely ending, too. really sweet. great job. Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Well, when I told you the new tradition should be writers giving us stories on their birthday, I didn't think you'd actually do it, but I'm so glad you did! I absolutely loved this. I rarely like first person narrative, but this worked very well. Hearing her thoughts in the first person allowed us to really understand what she was going through and to see her progression. I loved the idea that her haircut led to her knowing herself better -- well enough to make the right decision. And, perhaps I'm just dense, but I had no idea we were talking about Lex here until I was supposed to. I was duped. <G> Knowing that, and rereading it now, there is so much more to her fears. Originally I read it thinking it was understandable, but that everything would be fine and she shouldn't be too worried. But now I completely understand her fears and know that they were more than justified. The end was sweet, and I loved the idea of Clark staying with her and helping her. And it's nice to see her realize that she's in love with him, but that this isn't the time to tell him. Wonderful. Thanks for sharing. Annie (who really likes this idea of author's giving presents on their birthdays. Who's next?)
Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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And, perhaps I'm just dense, but.... Erm....me too But I loved it! Nicely done, Hopeless Chocoholic
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Mere WOW! A wonderful story! Thanks for sharing this excellent story. Happy birthday and have a fantastic holiday! Tricia
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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I wonder if the new Lois will be brave enough to tell Clark just how mistaken she was to think she could love Lex, and how much she regrets rejecting Clark, that day in the park? I hope so... I hope so, too! And that you do it before Clark panics and takes it all back. Mere, this was wonderful. I suspected fairly early on that all might not be as it seemed -- the "decorative girlfriend" was what first poked at my curiosity -- and when Lois got the lump in her throat as she thought about Clark, I was even more sure. The second scene was wonderful, with Lois acknowledging that her feelings have changed (and Clark clearly letting himself love her, even if he doesn't realize yet that she wants him to). Very nicely done! And Happy Birthday. Kathy
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Mere, Happy Birthday!
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Mere!!! You wrote something! Fantastic!!
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Thanks so much for all your wonderful feedback! In the end, I just let her have her way! I'm delighted that at least some of you were garden-pathed by which wedding it was, since that was exactly the effect I was striving for. And thanks for being generous enough to admit it, too! What Annie wrote about: Knowing that, and rereading it now, there is so much more to her fears. Originally I read it thinking it was understandable, but that everything would be fine and she shouldn't be too worried. But now I completely understand her fears and know that they were more than justified. was very much the impression I wanted to leave. Tank, I'm not sure I agree with you about Clark; and I don't want a longer digression there into what Clark may have said. I think I'm going to tweak it so that Lois doesn't remember his words, just the general feeling of reassurance and his hand at her nape. I'll make those changes before it goes to the Archive. And finally - thanks for all the wonderful birthday wishes!!!!! There's an hour and a half to go till my birthday starts, but I'll be up at the crack of dawn (10 or thereabouts) packing to go camping, so I had to post a little early. I'll eat an extra piece of squishy chocolate cake in your honour. Be good while I'm gone... or at least write lots! Mere
A diabolically, fiendishly clever mind. Possibly someone evil enough to take over the world. CC Aiken, Can You Guess the Writer? challenge
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Meredith, wonderful story and have a wonderful trip
Happy Birthday merry
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Mere,
I've only just discovered this! I thought it was great - you had me completely fooled about who she was marrying!
Loriel
"Inappropriate attachment" didn't begin to cover the depth of the feelings Vaughn had for Sydney Bristow. ~Ties That Bind by RJ Anderson~
I ramble at http://www.livejournal.com/~loriel_eris
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