Moans and soft sighs punctuated the air as bodies strained to touch one another. Charlie's body pressed Lois' into the mattress and not wanting to waste time to release the buttons of her shirt properly, he tore open the material to feast his eyes on the treasure therein that had tortured him throughout dinner. He'd somehow managed to clean the dishes and talk with her while they sat on the sofa after, but only briefly. At his breaking point, he'd looked down one too many times at her beautiful body. He'd come right and told her he was going to make love to her.
At least he hoped so, he thought as he continued to kiss her lips, her face, her neck. He'd been to this point before, only to freeze at the crucial moment. He had no problem responding, none with the inevitable pleasure. It was the actual consummation that he hadn't attained yet.
Lois ran her hands over his body, finding all the right sensitive areas. Charlie's head lifted from her neck and his breathing grew labored.
"Baby, that feels... sooo good," he breathed, then sucked in a breath when she nipped a particularly vulnerable spot just behind his ear. Her kisses and touches worked to bring him to new heights, those he'd never been to before.
Charlie shifted up onto one of his elbows so that he could look down at Lois as he smoothed his hand over her body. His senses were working overtime and he didn't want to miss a thing.
Holy hell! She was so incredibly beautiful in the throws of passion.
She opened dazed eyes to look at him when he failed to move after a moment. "What's wrong, honey?"
"Nothing. It was just too much. I don't want it to be over before it gets started." God, let it get started! He reached out to pull her remaining clothes from her body. He gasped softly when he saw her revealed for the first time. She was perfect! Absolutely perfect.
"Lois, baby, you take my breath away."
Instinct took over and there was no thought to his actions whatever. No hesitation, no images of a past he couldn't fully remember. There was only here and now with the woman he loved.
The realization of the moment hit him and he paused to look at the pleasure saturated woman beneath him. Her eyes were closed and a smile graced her lips. Charlie couldn't resist kissing her. She moaned and poured herself into the action. Their kisses grew uncontrollable and it was a long while later that either had the ability to speak.
"I never knew," Lois whispered against his chest.
Charlie had rolled them so that she sprawled atop his body. When she spoke, he looked down at her. "Never knew what, baby?"
"That it could be like that," she told him softly as she sat up.
"Neither did I," he admitted as he smiled up at her. "Do you think it can get better?"
Her eyes turned black and she grinned mischievously. It would be even longer this time before either spoke.
It was Charlie that reached up to pull Lois down to his chest, breathing heavily into her neck. "Oh, God, Lois, I love you."
She turned her head to kiss the side of his face, then whispered into his ear. "And I love you, Charlie King."
He rolled them until she lay beneath him. His hand gently cupped her face and he kissed her lips softly. "Say it again."
"I love you."
He smiled widely. "Again."
"I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!" she shouted into the room.
He laughed softly as he settled down beside her. "And I love you." Another kiss was pressed to her temple before he snuggled into her body, sighed deeply, then closed his eyes.
Lois closed her eyes moments later with an equally wide smile on her lips.
If this is torture, Charlie thought, then chain me to the wall.
++++
A smile spread across Lois' lips as she stretched fully. She hadn't felt so good in years. Sex had never been as good as it had been the night before... and a few minutes earlier. Charlie had awaken her with the most gentle of kisses pressed to the back of her neck and shoulders. He'd massaged her tight muscles for a bit before starting another kind of massage. One a bit more sensual. Never had she imagined such pleasure from the physical act of sex.
But to her it wasn't sex. Not with Charlie. They'd made love. It didn't matter how, where, or to what extent. Hell, they didn't even have to fully consummate, as they'd done on the boat and a couple times since. Kissing, hugging, holding hands... with Charlie it was all making love.
She turned her head when she heard him yell.
"Come on, baby. The water's going to get cold," he called from the bathroom where he'd started them a shower.
She stretched again and hurried into her lover.
Her lover. What a strange... wonderful word. She hadn't had many in her life, but this one she definitely planned to keep.
Steam filled the bathroom as she crept in and drew back the curtain. Charlie's gorgeous backside greeted her as she stepped in.
"Mmm, glad to see you made it." Charlie pulled her hands up around his body, holding her there for a brief moment.
She kissed his back, then drew back to look at him. She had seen him in almost nothing several times, but this was the first time she'd seen him in nothing at all.
"Like what you see?" he asked as he turned and smiled down at her.
"Very, very much," she growled and reached forward to smooth her hands over his chest.
"Don't start what you can't finish," he warned, a look of pure excitement on his face.
"Oh, baby, I can finish it." And she proceeded to do just that.
++++
Charlie's head dropped back as Lois began to kiss his neck and chest. He could allow her to do this all day. And it was such a relief to know that there was nothing wrong with him. More than once he'd feared that maybe there was when he'd been unable to make love to any other women.
<<None were this woman!>>
No, they sure weren't, he reminded himself as she continued to kiss him in all the right places.
Suddenly his eyes widened in shocked realization. He pushed Lois away and stared down at her, breathing heavily, but for a very different reason than before.
She looked confused and very disappointed. "If you didn't like it, you could have just said so," she bit out sarcastically as she reached for the soap.
"What? Lois, honey, I loved it."
"Then why the hell do you look like I just bit you or something?"
"Oh, baby, I'm sorry." He reached out to hold her arms so he could be sure she looked at him when he said what he had to. "I realized something when I looked at you just now."
"What?"
"That we've made love without taking precautions. And I know you're not taking birth control."
Her eyes widened when she realized what he'd said. "You're right. I'm sorry. I never thought..."
"Lois, you have nothing to be sorry for. I should have taken responsibility..."
"No. I'm a grown woman." She pushed her hand through her hair and looked down. "I can't say we're protected. It's not like I've had a lot of experience in this area."
"Yeah. Me either." He released her arms and stepped back into the shower spray. They'd discussed his differences and he'd even voiced his ignorance as to whether he could father a child. He'd told her he was pretty sure he hadn't up to this point, but just didn't know for sure. She assured him that it wasn't a priority right now for them to know, which he'd agreed with. Now it seemed that they might learn for sure one way or another. Of course, he wasn't naive enough to think pregnancy might occur so quickly, but what if it did? What if he'd gotten Lois pregnant? Was she opposed to something like that? Would she want to keep the baby or... or...
That thought disturbed him too much to contemplate.
"Could you let me under?"
He opened his eyes to look her and immediately made room for her. "I'm sorry..."
"Me, too," she mumbled in a defeated tone.
Charlie's heart constricted in pain. He knew Lois loved him, could see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch, but obviously the thought that they might have conceived a child was one that didn't appeal to her.
"Lois..."
"I'll be done in a second and you can have the shower to yourself."
Bam! He felt as if she'd slapped him. He wanted to discuss her feelings, his feelings. Yet, she seemed to be refusing. Maybe he should give her a few minutes, then try again. Deciding that to be the best course of action, he waited while she washed. When she was done, she left the tub without saying a word. Charlie was surprised to realize that irritated him just a bit. And the longer he thought about it, the more it rubbed him the wrong way.
He finished his shower, dressed, and went in search of Lois. She was going to speak with him and that was that!
She was typing on her laptop when he entered the living room. "Why did you leave like that? I wanted to talk."
"And we can't do that fully dressed?" she said without looking around at him.
"Of course. All you had to do was tell me you wanted to get dressed. You didn't have to be so cold." She stopped typing but still didn't look around. "Lois, tell me what's wrong. Are you angry with me?"
"No. I'm angry with myself," she said so softly he had to strain to hear her.
"Why?"
"Because I might have ruined the best relationship I've ever had."
"Huh? Lois, baby, I'm not following here."
She finally faced him and he gasped when he saw her tears. "Charlie, I didn't miss your message in there."
"What message? All I said was that we hadn't taken precautions during love making."
"And the look in your eyes leaves little to doubt that the consequences of that mistake is something you can't live with."
His brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to make sense out of what she said. "Can't live with..."
"Come on, Charlie, you've never been anything but completely honest with me. Just say it."
"Say what? I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"Just say you find the thought of me becoming pregnant with your baby too hard to comprehend."
"What? I never said that." He took a step closer to her.
"You didn't have to. What you didn't say was enough."
Damn! Damn! Damn! She'd taken his silence to mean that he found the idea of a possibly pregnancy deplorable. "Lois, I didn't know what to say. Babies are not something I've ever thought about and we've certainly never talked about them. When I was silent, I was wondering if you'd balk at such a thing. Come on. How the hell would we handle that?!"
"*We* don't have to, Charlie. If I become pregnant, I won't bother you..."
"Bother me! Bother me?! Lois, you didn't screw yourself. I am involved here! Hell-O! If pregnancy does occur, it's just as much my responsibility as it is yours. Didn't you hear what I told you last night, woman? And this morning? I love you. All of you. If that happens to eventually encompass another person, there will just be more to love. I might not know who I am, but I do know what I feel. And what I feel for you won't stop any time soon. Pregnancy, you deciding to go back to Metropolis, or even my memory coming back can't stop that. Do you hear me?"
She blinked out several tears but didn't speak.
"You're always like this!" he shouted at her in frustration.
Her eyes widened as she stared at him. "What? What do you mean?"
"I, I..." He stopped to consider that a moment. What *did* he mean? He wasn't exactly sure, but something about their argument reminded him so much of something in his past. "I... don't know what I mean! It's just that you're... you're... so frustrating!"
He rushed forward and pulled her up by her arms.
"I'm more scared that you won't like the idea of carrying my baby than I am of you becoming pregnant. To know you might hold part of me inside of your body actually moves me beyond belief. It's crazy, irrational, and about a million other things. I shouldn't find the thought of my baby growing inside your body appealing, not now. We've only just begun our relationship. There are too many unanswered questions about the future. But dammit, Lois, I can't and won't regret anything, *anything* we've done. If you're pregnant, I think I'd be thrilled. If you're not, then I hope you'll love me enough to allow me to keep trying to succeed." He stopped and stared at her for several moments before he released her. "I'm going for a run."
He didn't wait for her to answer, just left her in stunned silence. How could she have thought he wouldn't want her or a baby they'd created? That had to be the ultimate rush. To know you've come together with the woman you love and out of that love another life would grow... absolutely and utterly sensational.
How could he have misread her so completely? Was she that insecure about their relationship or was it just about herself? Her ability to love? He'd glimpsed deep seated insecurities behind her dark eyes on more than one occasion when she'd talked of her past. Lois had admitted that love wasn't something she'd done successfully. She'd only gotten married to escape the pull of that emotion. He still didn't totally understand that reasoning, but he understood her fears. They were much the same as some of his.
And he supposed the whole pregnancy issue was just one more in an incredible heap that she'd carried around for so long. He slowed his pace to a walk and looked around at the clouding skies. It hadn't rained in so long he'd forgotten that the moisture was needed.
Maybe this bump in their road to... whatever they were headed for was needed as well. He'd declared to himself and to Lois that he wanted to know as much about her as he could. Well, didn't that include her opinions, thoughts, and feelings about different subjects? He turned back toward the cabin, ready to sit down and rationally discuss both his and Lois' wayward emotions.
Bring on the rain, he thought as the first drops hit his face. Right now he felt defeated, but tomorrow was another day. This was just one battle lost. With any luck, together they'd win the war.
++++
Lois kept the rocker in motion with one foot while the other was firmly tucked under her, a blanket thrown across her lap to stave off the slight chill in the air. With the rain came a cold front, but the weather seemed to match her mood. So, she remained on the porch, putting as much distance as she dared between her and the emotions she felt when inside the cabin.
She hadn't thought it possible to feel the way she did. Her love for Charlie had grown to almost overpowering proportions. When she thought she'd seen indifference in his gaze when he'd first mentioned their lack of taking precautions, it had hurt worse than anything had in quite a while. His impassioned speech had more than made up for the pain though. Now she waited for him to get back so she could apologize and they could work this out.
His large frame finally came into view and she watched him walk the rest of the distance between them, soaked through from the heavy downpour. He stopped on the top step then glanced down at himself.
"Let me change and we'll talk. Okay?"
"Okay," she managed around the lump in her throat. A tear slipped from her eye as she waited for him to come back. Dressed in a dry tank top and shorts, Charlie lifted the blanket and settled on the rocker beside her. He pulled the leg Lois had out from under the material onto his lap and pulled her closer.
"I'm sorry," he began. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset."
"And I'm sorry." She lifted her hand to his face and stared into his eyes. "I jumped to conclusions instead of really looking at you and listening to you."
"Lois, I know we don't need a baby right now. Maybe we'll never reach that time, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. I would never abandon you. I don't have a whole lot to offer you or a baby except for myself and unconditional love. And I'd always make sure you were taken care of, somehow."
"You are all I want," she whispered. "I thought I knew what love was once. That was only a shadow of what I feel for you now." As she said that, she realized it was so true. Because she'd never taken the time to get to know Clark the way she should have, the love she felt for him hadn't had a chance to grow strong. It pained her to know that it would have only taken one good look to make her want to see more. She'd accomplished in a matter of two weeks what she'd been unable to do in over a year before.
"I feel the same way." He reached out to cup her cheek as he touched his forehead to hers.
"I guess I get scared sometimes that you'll leave me, too," she whispered after a long moment.
Charlie lifted his head to look at her, his expression full of compassion. "Tell me about him."
She wasn't sure that was such a good idea, but the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. "He was my partner at work. I didn't like him much when he first came to the Planet. I thought he was a hack from nowheresville." She glanced over to see Charlie's smile, causing her to shrug. "But he grew on me. Slowly he became the best partner I'd ever had... and my best friend. A past bad experience with a previous work colleague had caused me to shy away from others personally. So while I was incredibly attracted and falling for him, I kept my distance. And I kept denying it to myself and certainly to him."
"Was that why you started dating the guy you married?"
"I guess. That proposal came completely out of nowhere. I'd only been seeing the guy for a few months, and I never thought it was serious. Anyway, when I told my partner, he freaked. Told me that I didn't really know the other man at all. Later, my partner told me he was in love with me."
"What did you do?"
"I told him I didn't feel the same way about him." She looked up at Charlie. "See, there was also another guy. But this other one was unique, special. And I thought I loved *him*. I even told him so. He pushed me away because of issues beyond his control. That hurt and it was only later I realized what I'd done to my partner, how badly he'd been hurt when I rejected him. By then it was too late. I married the wrong guy and forced the right one to run from his pain. I found out later that he was gone."
She finished on a whisper and stared off into the distance. Charlie's hand gently stroked her leg, allowing her all the time in the world she needed.
"Funny the things you wish for," she said after a moment. "Funny how they turn out to be something you hadn't expected and had never really needed."
"So, what happened to the third guy?"
Lois rolled her head so that she could look him in the eyes. "The third guy turned out to be the same partner and friend I'd never taken the time to get to know."
"What?" His expression conveyed his confusion and she couldn't help but smile.
"I know. It's so complicated. I had thought I was in love with Superman."
"The guy that could fly and do all kinds of unrealistic things?" Charlie asked. She nodded. "I've heard about him once or twice. They say he died saving the world."
"That's what they say," she agreed without taking her eyes from him, although she knew that to be completely untrue. How had he never put the things he could do together with what Superman could do? She'd seen first hand that he'd suppressed a great deal of his super side as well as forgotten his past. Was his alter ego somehow tied to the reason he refused to recall his life? That would make perfect sense. Clark had probably blamed a good bit of his inability to get the girl on his secret. Now he chose to suppress that side of himself in hopes of finding a way to move on.
"You said he was the same guy... your partner? The guy hid that from you?"
"Yep. For over a year I thought he was two different people. I'd seen them both countless times and never knew."
"I guess we all see what we want to see," Charlie told her softly.
"He saw me, the real me, while I only saw the flashy suit and ordinary old Joe. I was so blind. Then when I finally opened my eyes, it was too late. He was gone and I had never told him I had feelings for him, the real him."
Charlie sat in silence for a long moment, apparently deep in thought over what she'd said. Could any of it have sparked a memory? Just one sentence was all it would take to get him thinking and asking questions that would bring him back to her. Part of her wanted that so badly. That part was tired of playing games, walking on eggshells. She wanted her best friend back. Then another part couldn't imagine life without the man she'd come to know in Charlie. Would he change so much that he wouldn't be the same? Would the old reserved Clark return and shy from his feelings for her? After all they'd shared? Or would he lash out in hurt and betrayal? Without the certainty of knowing what he'd do for sure, Lois wasn't willing to take a chance.
"That all changed you, didn't it?" Charlie asked her after a while.
"It caused me to be more aware of my emotions. I've started seeing things more clearly, and I go after things I want now. Before, I'd have run from it."
"Or married someone you didn't love to get away from it," he finished for her.
"Yeah." She looked down at her hands as she again asked herself how she'd been so stupid.
It took a moment, but Charlie finally came to an apparent conclusion to all she'd said. "Now you have me and you love me as much as I love you. You don't have to run because I will never hurt you... at least not deliberately."
"I know, honey." Lois cupped his cheek again, smiling warmly at him.
He smiled, leaned over and kissed her softly, then patted her hip under the blanket. "Lois, how would you feel if you were to become pregnant?"
"Honestly, I think I'd be so excited I wouldn't be able to see straight. And I'd be scared and so much more. You're right. We don't need that now, but I wouldn't hate it either. Carrying your baby would mean a great deal to me, honey. Please believe that."
"So, what should we do? I wouldn't want you to start taking pills in case we've already hit the mark. I think I'll just pick up a box of condoms..."
"And we'll have to wait and see."
"I can do that," he told her with a smile.
"If I'm not, maybe I can go get a prescription for birth control then and you won't have to wear a raincoat in the shower."
Charlie looked at her a second before he started laughing softly. "Nice description," he managed when he'd calmed. He pulled her onto his lap and held her while he rocked them gently. It was nearly half an hour later when he finally spoke again. "Lois, why has pregnancy been the only concern that's bothered us? We've known each other all of two and half weeks and you know I was a sailor, yet you weren't reluctant at all to have unprotected sex with me."
"Or you with me," she pointed out without lifting her head from his chest. "Charlie, in my heart, I know all I need to know about you. I put myself into your hands with complete trust that you'd never do anything to hurt me. While becoming pregnant might cause some rollercoaster emotions, it won't hurt me. I trusted you not to hurt me otherwise as well."
"Wow," he breathed as he tightened his grip on her. "That means the world, honey. But so you know, I wasn't one to fool around. I had chances, plenty of them. There was just never anyone who appealed that much to me. I did come close once. Remember the girl at the open air market?"
"Melissa?"
"Yeah. I met her at O'Malley's and took her to a motel. We were going at it pretty heavy there, but at the last second, I froze." She lifted her head to look at him. "I was right there, ready to get to work, and I couldn't force myself to even start."
"You mean you couldn't make love to her?"
"That wasn't making love, Lois. That was sex. And we didn't go beyond manual stimulation. I have seen her more than once. We've spent more time together physically, but I never could manage to fully consummate our relationship. And there were a few others I've kissed and petted pretty heavily. But I've never done with any of them what we've done. For some reason, making love to you felt as natural as breathing."
Another tear dropped onto her cheek. "I felt the same way. *Feel* the same way."
He smiled at her, then went on, "I can't tell you anything beyond two years ago, although I can say I can't remember a single time I've ever been completely intimate with a woman. I'm healthy as a horse, so I think you're very well protected."
Lois wanted to squeeze him until he begged her to stop. If her guess was right, Charlie had shared his first complete sexual experience with her. He'd given her the special gift of his virginity and she would hold that preciously in her heart. If she'd only done the same.
He must have sensed what she was thinking because he pulled her to his chest again. "Listen to me. What you've done, what you've experienced has made you who you are." He carefully reminded her of what she'd told him.
"I really could have done without that last experience," she told him ruefully. Her physical relationship with Luthor bothered her more than losing her virginity to a college boy she thought had cared for her.
"It's past, baby. Let it go." He lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. "Just keep holding my hand so neither of us gets lost."
"I love you, Charlie King," she told him softly.
"I love you, Lois Lane." He brushed a kiss across her lips, then settled back again with Lois safely tucked against his chest. They continued to rock and watch the falling rain, both happy to have their first disagreement behind them. One day at a time had turned into one step at a time since they'd started their walk together. And there was nothing wrong with one step at the time.
