This popped into my head and was written in about 30 min... so in a way its a true challenge response. Hasn't been betaed, so read ahead at your own risk or at least recognize that it was Sat morn with kids cartoons in the background.
The main Character here is no-one that we know, the location is not important... this is not meant to confuse, but to entertain.. the Lyrics for the song its based on are:
All I Want For Christmas...
Everybody stops and stares at me
These two teeth are gone as you can see
I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth,see my two front teeth!
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth, then I could be with you Merry Christmas.
It seems so long since I could say,
Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be, if I could only whistle (thhhh)
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth,see my two front teeth.
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth,then I could wish you Merry Christmas.
All I want for Christmas…
Everyone was staring at him; he could feel it as he strode through the lobby of his hotel. He didn’t blame them for it either, after all other than a hockey player you did not expect to see a grown man missing his two front teeth and he didn’t look like any hockey player that he had ever seen. He had too much class. At least those witnessing his embarrassment were few and far in between the late hour and the discreet nature of the posh hotel.
He didn’t know whom to blame for it either. Or maybe he should say he didn’t know who he blamed *more* for it, Lois Lane, or that interfering do gooder in a cape, Superman. If it weren’t for either of them, he would not be facing this catastrophic situation at this time of the year. If they had to fight villains, they could at least do it where innocent people were not going to get caught in the crossfire or fallout from them duking it out with the bad guy of the week.
If there was any justice in the world, it would have been one of them that would have gotten their front teeth knocked out and I would have one wish tonight on Christmas Eve, and plainly that wish would be having my two front teeth back in my head again. It’s been a long time since I have wanted for anything and that is all I want for Christmas. It’s the only thing that I want at all.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or Happy Hanukah, whichever was your chosen delusion. All he knew was that this time of year was very, very profitable for him. But to keep it that way he needed to make personal appearances, which he could not do when he looked like he did at the moment. He could not make the speeches that he would need to either, he would lisp like an utter fool. He could hear himself now, ‘ThiThter ThuThie thitting on the thettee’. He cringed.
And then there was his down to earth appearing trick of whistling for the cabs that he had pre called, he would not be able to do that either. His whole season was ruined, there was no hope for it, he was going to have to cancel everything. He was no Lex Luthor to have a dentist on his personal staff to call on at any hour. He was wealthy, but he didn’t need those types of connections, at least not normally.
He finally reached his room, only to find that Ms Lane and Superman had both been there before him at some point. There were two notes of apology laying on the floor just beyond the entrance to his room – Lois Lane’s had a tone of babbling – and it was effusively apologetic, she was very, very sorry that she had managed to hit him in the mouth with the roundhouse kick that had been aimed for the bad guy.
Then there was Superman’s. All it said was to call a number and type in a code and that the hero would come and get him to take him to a dentist that he knew that would fix everything as soon as he got there.
Maybe there was something to this season after all – good will to all men and all that, and to the concept of Justice.
The end.
