Author's Note: This fic is a rewrite of the Lois and Clark episode "Chi of Steel," written by Hilary Bader. It is the only Lois and Clark episode she wrote, and, as it happens, it is not my favorite episode in the series by any means. For the record, I did enjoy some of her work on other shows. I'm guessing that as a guest writer early in the second season, she simply wasn't especially familiar with the show. In any case, this story makes heavy use of characters, scenes, and dialogue taken from the show, and specifically that episode. Some parts of the story may not make sense if you haven't seen the episode or don't remember it. Hopefully you'll still be able to enjoy it, though, even if you miss some of the references. Whether you've seen the ep or not, whether you enjoyed it or not, I hope you'll take this story in the spirit in which it was written, which would be best described as "playful satire." A few lines were also taken from the episode "The Phoenix," which was written by Tony Blake and Paul Jackson.
On to more important matters... This story was written for Beta Reader Appreciation Day. It is intended to thank our beta readers for the work they do. They help improve stories, giving an author their thoughts and reactions, making suggestions of things to add or remove, pointing out errors in continuity and characterization, saving us from embarrassing typos and mistakes in spelling and grammar, and a myriad of other things, great and small.
In this fandom, we're also blessed with a centralized fanfic archive with a staff of volunteer General Editors. GEs are, as far as I know, unique to FoLCdom. A GE reviews each and every story sent in to the archive, checking meticulously for spelling and grammar while holding back any more subjective comments they may have. Unlike BRs, who choose which stories to read and which authors to work with, GEs read the stories as they are assigned.
Beta Reader Appreciation Day is a time to make sure that we thank the BRs and GEs for all the work they've done, generally behind the scenes, to improve the stories we enjoy.
Now, the final, most important thing before we get to the story: I want to send out a
huge thank you to Laurie, Beta Reader extraordinare, for agreeing to BR on short notice, reassuring me at every opportunity, reading through in record time despite various real life circumstances, and responding with encouragement.
TOC Chi, Beta
by Paul-Gabriel Wiener
It started off like an ordinary enough day. Clark woke up, got his clothes ready, and took a shower. He had just put some moose in his hair when a voice spoke to him out of nowhere.
"
Clark."
"What? Who's there?"
"
My name is Beta. I'm... kind of a guardian angel."
"Guardian angel? I thought that was Mike."
"
Mike is higher up. He's there for everyone, but only from time to time."
"Oh."
"
Besides, you're not supposed to know about Mike yet. We're only in season two."
Clark blinked, absorbing this. "Mike who?"
"
Exactly."
"What?"
"
Never mind. That's not why I'm here."
"Why
are you here?"
"
Well, it's your hair."
"My hair?"
"
I know you have super powers and all, but it can't be very comfortable having several 800 pound creatures on your head. In any case, I think people would look at you kind of strangely."
"Huh?" Clark looked in the mirror. "Oh, right." Embarrassed, Clark took the moose out of his hair. He reminded himself to fly them back to Alaska later. Instead, he reached for some styling mousse. "Thanks, Beta. That could have been embarrassing."
"
No problem, Clark. That's what I'm here for."
Clark thought about this. It seemed strange, but stranger things had happened to him before. He shrugged and went on with his day. He got dressed, then went to the kitchen. There, he opened the fridge, got out some eggs and milk, and started making breakfast.
"
Clark."
"Uhm, yes, Beta?"
"
You forgot to close the fridge."
"Oh, right. Thanks, Beta."
"
You bet."
Clark closed the fridge, finished with breakfast, then looked at the clock. He was late for work. He'd have to fly. He went to the window and got ready to take off.
"
Clark, aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?"
"
People would find it rather odd to see Clark Kent flying overhead, wouldn't they?"
Clark looked down. "Oh, wow. How could I forget?" Quickly, he spun into the Suit.
He flew to the Daily Planet building, then spun back into Clark Kent in the stairwell. As soon as he walked into the newsroom, Lois ran up to him.
"Clark! There you are! We have to go!"
"What is it?"
"Someone stole Perry's life savings! He reported it to the police, but they can't do anything. The robber was masked and the money was in bearer bonds. I told him we'd look into it ourselves."
"How? When?"
"I'll tell you on the way, Clark. Let's get going."
They went down to Lois's Jeep and hit the road. As she drove, Lois filled Clark in. It seemed that Perry had been meeting with his broker, preparing to invest in an overseas company that required bearer bonds. A hooded the if dressed entirely in black except for a pair of intricately carved metal bracelets had knocked down the door to the room, thrown the broker across the room, tied Perry to a chair, smashed the safe open with his bare hands, and made off with the money before anyone could react.
Once during the conversation (fortunately while they were stopped at a red light), Beta had spoken up.
"
Perry put his life savings into untraceable bearer bonds?"
"Who said that?" Lois had asked, startled.
"That's Beta. A... guardian angel."
"I see. Well, uhm, Beta, it wasn't Perry. It was his broker. Perry wasn't too happy about it when he found out, either."
"
Oh. Okay. Sounds like Perry should get a new broker."
"Yeah, probably."
The conversation had gone normally from there, without any more interruptions. Soon enough, they were in the area, and Lois found a parking space. Walking up to the building with Lois, Clark introduced them to the doorman. "Lois Lane and Clark Kent, from the Daily Planet. I believe Perry White called ahead that we would be coming."
The doorman checked his clipboard. "Yes, here you are, Mr. Kent. Go on up."
They started up the stairs, but the doorman held Lois back. "Ma'am? You'll have to wait here."
"What?"
"This is a men's club."
Lois tried to push past him. "And I'm a reporter on a story. Now excuse me."
He caught her arm. "Sorry, Ma'am."
They argued for a while, but the doorman was insistent. Lois tried to convince Clark that if they wouldn't let her in, then he shouldn't go either. "Are we partners or not?" she demanded. "You go in without me and it's as if you're saying there's nothing wrong with this kind of discrimination."
"Fine, fine. What do you want us to do?" Clark asked.
"We don't need to go in here. We can get the police report. That'll tell us everything we need to know."
"
Lois, are you serious?"
"Of course I am!"
"
You would actually trust the police report to have everything? You don't want to see if they missed some crucial detail? After they admitted that they don't know anything and won't be able to help at all?"
"Well, no. But they won't let me in."
"
So, let Clark go. He can look around and come back. You'd go without him if your investigation led you to a women's-only health club, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah, but that's different."
"
Somewhat, yes. Does that mean you're going to endanger Perry's life savings because his broker works out of an outdated men's organization? If one of your sources was a KKK member, would you refuse to use his information?"
"No... Okay, Clark. Go up, see what you can find."
Clark nodded and walked in. On the way up, though, he scanned the office. There were two people in it. He wouldn't be able to check the room as effectively as Clark. He ducked into a restroom and changed clothes. As Superman, he was welcomed into the office and allowed to search the room. He was also offered a club membership, which he politely declined. Looking around at super speed, he found nothing, but a close examination of the safe proved more fruitful. Something had been imprinted on the side, too shallow for the human eye to see. It was an intricate design showing two dragons curled into a Yin-Yang symbol. He grabbed a piece of paper, held it against the safe, and used his heat vision to make a copy of the marking. With the broker's permission, he took the paper, then headed back out to Lois.
"
Superman? Are you forgetting something?"
"What? Oh, right." He dashed back to the restroom, faster than the human eye could follow. He changed clothes and walked back out fast enough so that it appeared that Clark had opened the door.
"
Nice move."
"Thank you," Clark replied, smiling. He left the building, then rescued the doorman from Lois.
"Did you find anything?" she asked eagerly as soon as they'd rounded the block.
"Yeah," he said, reaching for the paper.
"
Clark," Beta whispered so that only he could hear, "
I hope you're not planning to show that to Lois. How are you going to explain it? The design is burned into the paper. That's not something most people could or would do."
"I'll show you when we get back to the office," Clark said to Lois.
She nodded, and the two walked to Lois's Keep.
"
Lois has a castle?"
"I got tired of moving up and down four flights."
"
A castle? In the middle of Metropolis?"
"Why not?" Clark put in. "They built one in Centennial Park."
"
How can you afford the rent?"
"Okay," Lois said, sighing. "I give up." Reluctantly, she and Clark left the tower behind and got into Lois's Jeep.
Before Lois started the engine, however, Clark's watch alarm started to beep. "Shoot," he said. "My folcs are coming in. I have to let them into the apartment."
"
Your FoLCs, Clark?"
"My parents."
"
Oh. Darn."
"What?"
"
Never mind."
Lois and Clark exchanged glaces, then shrugged. "So, if you're going to meet your parents," Lois said, "what can I do?"
Clark thought about this for a second. Suddenly, his eyes darted to the rear-view mirror. "Who's that walking down the sidewalk behind us?" When Lois turned to look, he surreptitiously grabbed a pencil and paper from the supplies Lois always kept handy. He copied the paper from the club at super-speed and had everything stashed away before Lois turned back.
"I don't see anyone, Clark."
"Sorry, Lois. It's a small mirror. I must have been mistaken." He showed her the paper with the pencil tracing. "Here, I found this etched into the side of the safe. It was very faint. I think the police missed it."
"What is it?"
"It's a power totem. Some of the more obscure Chinese martial arts use them. The symbols are cut into an artifact -- a necklace, a ring -- which bestows power on the wearer."
"If they're so obscure, how come you know about them?"
"I travelled in China for a while. I only know a few, and I don't recognize this one. I know who who might, though. I have a friend, Chen Chow. He's the editor of the Chinatown Daily. His grandfather is very big into this stuff. Here's his address." Clark scribbled something on the back of the paper, then handed it to her. "I'll head back to my place, let my parents in. You go talk to Chen and his grandfather. With cross-town traffic at this hour, I'll probably be home before you make it to Chinatown, so I'll call ahead for you. It shouldn't be a problem, but it'll go more smoothly if he knows to expect you."
"Right. Thanks."
"Sure thing. See you later." Clark got out and started walking briskly in the direction of the nearest subway stop.
Lois waved to him, checked the address he'd given her, then drove off.
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