|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133
Top Banana
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,133 |
Wanda, this story was great. So creative. I love how it smoothly went from one first person POV to the other. It was flawless! I am so impressed  . The revelation was great , and also the confusion when Lois left and Clark thought she had rejected him was right on. This is totally insignificant, but I can't get it out of my mind. I am wondering how Dr. Klein was a keynote speaker at a MS function. I know on the show he is portrayed as having an interest in just about everything, but as a research scientist myself, I can really say that there is no way he devote enough time to be such an expert in multiple areas. There just aren't enough hours in the day! Even if he works with Superman has a hobby, his research in the lab doesn't seen to have a lot to do with MS, and I am not sure if he would be an expert on the subject. Actually, this is more annoyance at the show's unrealistic portrayal of Dr. Klein than anything else  . Aren't there other expert doctors/researchers in Metropolis? It's a big city with probably at least one major research university! Sorry for the long rant.  This was a great story, Wanda. I really enjoyed it  . - Laura
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Well done!  I really like the back-and-forth. And your pacing is excellent! *looks hopeful* Sequel?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Loved it! I loved the first person, back and forth, slightly-different-recollections style. Very fun to get both sides like that. And the pacing worked really well. One quibble, near the end: I took a deep breath, and did what I consider to this day to be the bravest thing I’ve ever done. And don’t you forget, I’ve been pushed out of a plane, held hostage, and locked inside a giant safe, to name a few... I'm not sure that being pushed out of a plane, etc., qualifies as "bravery," since it's not like she did it on purpose. Terrifying, sure. But without the option to be a coward, you can't really call it bravery. IMO. I'd suggest rewording it to be the "scariest" thing she's ever done. When it's terrifying, as this moment is, and when she has the choice to back down, *then* she's being brave. Totally tiny insignificant point This was great! PJ
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Wanda A wonderful story!  I love how this flows from one 1st person POV to the other so easily. Just perfect! Thanks for sharing this fantastic story. I love it.  Tricia 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
Great, Wanda!! I love it all! The humor bits here and there, the idea for the plot... everything! Keep writing!! AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Loved it! Wish I had time to say more right now! JD 
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Absolutely love this, Wanda! Ditto everyone else, and more! It's sweet, romantic, in character and very funny - and if I started quoting the funny lines here I'd be repeating the entire story, but one which really grabbed me was Lois's 'I'm trustworthy.(Usually).' ROFL!! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
That was great! Poor Clark. For such a hunk, he has the worst time with women!
(It's all the Kents' fault for molding him into such a modest human being. Any other guy would be flaunting the fact that he's Superman...not our Clark!
SEQUEL SEQUEL
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 328
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 328 |
Nice story, Wanda! I'm not usually a fan of 1st person stories, but I really enjoyed this one. I liked that back-and-forth - very fun. 
Beaker: Special Talents: Scientific assistant, Victim
Last Book Read: "1001 Meeps to a Bigger Vocabulary"
Quote: "Meep! Meep! Meep!"
Never Leaves Home Without: Medical Coverage
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great story. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Very nice!! This had me  ... I was dancing, listening to music, and figuring out Clark was Superman. That’s pretty complex. It involves both the right and left sides of the brain. Fortunately for me, I am excellent at multitasking She is too much! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 379
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 379 |
Thanks everyone for the great response!! I'm definitely thinking about writing a second part... Laura, good point on Dr. Klein. And Pam, you're absolutely right about the wording ('brave' vs. 'scared'). I will make a few changes before I send this to the archive! Jill, it's hard to know WHO to believe about the wine and other his-vs.-hers discrepancies. But I'd say your inclination to believe Clark is a pretty good one (in most cases)! Thanks again for reading, everyone! --Wanda :p
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.
|
|
|
|
