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Joined: Jun 2004
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
so powerful, so beautiful, so... Poor Lois, a full panic attack when she's completely alone in an unknown place! Lois and Clark relationship: it's a long way to trying a real partnership, but this forced distance seems a little cruel to me! Simona
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great part. More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
There can only be one of two things going on here. Either this person in the story isn't really a Lois Lane, or a lot more happened to her back in Brazzeville than we've been privy to.
Granted this is an alternate universe, but still your Lois is too real. By that I mean more like a person in real life, and not the wonderful character we've all come to know and love over the years. This Lois it too weak. While I could see such a trauma affecting a normal reporter in such a manner. The person in the story could never have had the strengths of personality and character that a 'classic' Lois Lane would have possessed.
The terrified and tortured soul you are showing us is definitely a sympathetic character and is being portrayed very well by your writing. It just isn't Lois Lane.
Tank (who needs to see more 'cause' before he will believe in the 'effect' Yvonne is giving us)
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
Tank said this is not Lois Lane, because the person in the story could never have had the strenghts of personality and character that a 'classic' Lois Lane would have possessed. I don't agreed with it: all the strenghts in the world couldn't make Lois come unharmed out of her awful experiences: if the Lois in the show should have endured the continuous abuse that Yvonne's Lois had to, she would have come out with the same terrified and tortured soul. well, this is my opinion Neverthless, I agreed with Tank about his 'more cause' theory: I think Yvonne has something more (about what's happened in Brazzaville) which we have to get knowledge of Simona
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Simona, that's what I mean. There has to have been more that happened while Lois was captive in Brazzeville, then we've been lead to believe, or more accurately, what Lois has allowed herself to remember.
Just being held prisoner, even under filthy conditions for a long time, would not have been enough to have broken Lois Lane to the extent that this woman has been 'damaged'. Lois has intimated that she was verbally abused, and leered and jeered at, and she had seen others being physically abused, but she claims she was being held 'pure' for some reason. Is that true? Or is that what she 'remembers'?
Tank (who has always been a staunch supporter of Lois as the strongest part of the duo Lois and Clark)
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41 |
Oh, Yvonne! Quit making me cry...I meant don't. I love it really!! I agree with Tank, but I'm willing to wait a bit. Now I just don't know what I'll be wanting to see first...Lois and Clark's conversation about the other Lois, or what actually happened in the Congo. Ooh!!! I can't wait! Anyway, quotes (cause I just can't resist) and comments follow. The doorbell rang. Hey, she had a doorbell! That was progress, wasn’t it? Hee hee! “I hope you don’t mind,” he said, squeezing past her and striding into the living room. “I figured you wouldn’t have much stuff for an apartment, so I brought a few things.” Oh! No matter what universe, Clark is so darned sweet!! She even had a pot plant – a luxurious ficus <snork!> Wrong thing to say, she thought, as pain clouded his eyes. He wanted love, not friendship, didn’t he? “Lois.” He clasped her upper arms lightly, leant forward and gently kissed her forehead. “Take care of yourself,” he murmured. Moments later, she heard a whoosh. Saw a familiar blue and red figure jogging towards her. “Lois? What are you doing here?” Oh, thank God! But what is she going to tell him? A tear ran down her cheek but she ignored it. She would not cry, dammit! She swivelled on the balls of her feet and set off again, avoiding his gaze as she walked towards him. After a couple of paces he stopped and turned back to her, his cape blowing gently behind him in the breeze. “Don’t ever hesitate to call me, okay? Any time, day or night. I’ll be there for you.” Isn't there a grab your heart, terribly waffy graemlin? There should be!! Can't wait for more heart-wrenching stuff, Yvonne! Sara
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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I have been a little behind at reading, Yvonne, but I did catch up and I'm enjoying what I'm reading! I would quote some of my favorite scenes of this story, but I'm currently in Kalamata and using the phone for Internet calls costs a lot so I'm keeping it short. (I am, aren't I??) Well, this was great I can't wait for the next part! I'm as addicted as I was to 'Addicted' - and that's very much, believe me I agreed with Tank about his 'more cause' theory: I think Yvonne has something more (about what's happened in Brazzaville) which we have to get knowledge of I hadn't thought about it, but now that you guys mention... yes, something must be hiding in there... See ya soon, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Yvonne, you have to hurry up and post this thing. I can't concentrate on "Twins" for five minutes. I keep checking to see if a new part is up!
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Aw, Nan! Thanks for popping up to tell me you're reading the story. As it happens, I just discovered your Wedding Consequences story last night and had a lot of pleasure catching up with the story so far. Now, I was going to give a long response here to Tank and few other's points, but in the end, I've decided to let the fic play out to the bitter end and then see if you're all convinced by it or not. Otherwise, if I begin to defend or explain things here, then I'm detracting from the purpose of my story-telling - why write a story which you then have to help people understand or accept by other means? So I shall listen to your (very useful and helpful) concerns and store them up for the future. Darn. I find I have to say one thing, in spite of myself. I don't want this to be a violent story. I don't want to fill paragraphs with horrible, distasteful scenes. I don't want to upset or distress people who read my story. Therefore I have, and will only, infer Lois's suffering. Can't say more than that at this stage. I probably already said too much. Thanks for all the comments. I've already spent a long time composing this reply when I could have been writing more fic, so please indulge me if I don't respond to you all individually. Yvonne
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Ooops! Never came back and fdk'd! Tsk! I'd agree with Tank if this were our Lois. But remember, this is an alt-Lois. Whose mother is not merely the anxiety-inducing version we know and love , but in the "wacky factory." Whose father was even more controlling and condescending. The Perry she dealt with was just as loving a father-figure, it seems -- but perhaps less supportive (the whole politics thing )? We don't actually KNOW what the breaking point of this Lois was. That said, many victims of sexual abuse block it out so well that they cannot remember it. Hard to know whether that's the case here . . . because for some strange reason, part 13 seems to have gone missing . . .
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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Stepping out of lurkdom here a moment to give my unwanted $0.02. I don't see this Lois as being weak at all. Victimised and traumatized certainly; but not weak. Well, maybe just a bit in one area, but I'll explain.
When it comes to others, Lois is still the strong, independent thinking Lois I know an love. Especially with Clark. She demanded to be allowed to take Clark home when he got ambushed with the red K. She set up a tour of the Daily Planet by herself. She's figured out that Clark is holding out on her, and it's got her wondering. She's coming up with her own plans to get the information she wants. There is a drive there to get the unknown. She schemes and plans, going behind the backs of her therapist to do it. She set up an alternate appointment with George with out asking. She eavsdropped and snooped when she shouldn't. She left her apartment to go shopping without asking (granted she didn't have to) and she chose to hid her experience from them. She's the same, strong, jump-in-without-checking-the-level-first Lois as before.
With one exception. She can't forgive herself for getting into trouble in the first place. And that unforgiveness is her weakness. It causes the cracks in the foundation to show, and yes, makes her more real. Her real weakness is herself.
-- Jeff
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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Ditto Jwb, exactly. So well put, I wish I'd thought of it myself!
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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