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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Very nice, Erin! I really enjoyed the 'will she, won't she' all morning, all the way in to the airport and while they were waiting for her flight to leave. And then she told him she couldn't. Nice!! And that was a beautiful hug. And there's a tense switch here: She had given them a chance, and that's all she wanted. Take the verb out of present tense and you'll be fine - it should be 'that was all...' Okay, more soon! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
First off the nitpicky stuff: It was nearly midnight when Lois finally stepped climbed out of the cab in front of her apartment Saturday night. Looks like that sentence got a bit scrambled... Oh, I am so glad Lois has finally decided not to do the expose. The suspense on that was getting almost unbearable... Ah, and finally a real kiss! YAY!
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
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Definitely worth the wait, Erin. No! I didn't mean that...it might encourage you to put off posting the next section. No, you have to post soon because now L & C have to get together...and they have a mystery to solve. But the last section was beautifully written. gerry
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
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I'm glad that they have felt their special bond, even if they had known each other for a so short period of time, and that they are ready to explore this connection! It's like this is the end of the first chapter of their story; fate threw them together, now it's up to their will pursuing this special relationship. I'm wondering if Luthor will be an important obstacle or not; I'm feeling this is going to be a really loooong story: YAY!!! I'm looking forward to their next meeting! (Okay, I'll be satisfied with email messages and conversations at the phone too, if I have to ) Simona (who is hoping they are going to be very careful with phones and emails: Luthor The Big Brother may be listening!)
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I loved this parting at the airport, because I know Clark can come visit her anytime he wants. I'm glad to know Lois decided not to "out" him and her neighbor gave her a great idea for the story Headline, to give Metropolis's hero an awesome name. Clark will have something to say about that I'm certain . TEEEEEEEEJ
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. Beautiful! More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 435 |
Beautiful part! The 'will she/won't she' suspense is great, and you can just FEEL their chemistry. Love it! Can't wait for more!
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." Chris Reeve
"Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right." Peter Parker
DON'T DOUBT THE ROUTH
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Great part, Erin! I really like Lois's thoughts about Clark's naivity. Very nice progress on their relationship, too. Wonder what she'll manage to write in her story. One thing I had trouble with in this part, though, was the POV shifts. There were a lot of them, with no real warning. I found it to be a little disorienting at times. Great read, in any case. Looking forward to seeing more of this. Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
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"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
Goodbye is too sad... I didn't cry only because at least they kissed. A short, but sweet kiss. It was a romantic farewell. Lois's decision shows Clark managed to touch her heart and change the ruthless reporter first arrived to Metropolis with the one objective to expose the super hero. At least they'll keep on in contact and I hope Clark will visit San Francisco often. After all, they have the bicoastal investigation to make, along others things... I can't have enough of this story. More, More, MORE! Soon, please! Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Wonderful! I loved the airport scene and how convenient that your boyfriend can visit anytime you want. Can't wait for Clark and Agnes to meet. She's going to know who he is I bet..
~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 299 |
Great part. Clark took a great risk by telling Lois about everything including his parents, but - well, who could resist *him* and Lois is much, much more open to emotions and also sweeter than usually.
The way you describe their interaction is simply great.
I have one great fear: what if Luthor has some plan to reach Superman (I mean a friend) by letting Lois be followed.
Gabriele
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