from last time...
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Lex, I know that today you tried to k-kill Superman,” she spit out, trying very hard to sound like that idea wasn’t torture for her. “I have to say, I wish you had told me about it, I think I really could’ve helped.”
“Right, Lois, you would have helped kill Superman,” Lex said, quietly, as more of an accusing statement, as if knowing she was lying.
“He broke my heart, Lex! I am completely serious!” Lois said, knowing he was doubting her. “I…” she was looking for a way to keep him away from Clark without seeming suspicious. “I am glad you seem all better.”
“Why’s that?” Lex asked, looking like he was growing impatient.
“Well, it IS our wedding night,” Lois said, her tone suddenly seductive.
Lex had started to walk away, but stopped. He looked at her skeptically, although he seemed a little turned on at the same time…
~~~~~~~~~~~
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME
PART 10
Clark suddenly felt as close to Lois as ever. He wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his sweatshirt, embracing the feeling that comforted his soul. The confusion was gone, and he could now hear his mother’s voice and Lois’s voice seemingly taking him in the same direction. He walked happily. He could feel them and hear the sounds of their voices, even though he could not make out actual words at the moment.
He kept walking until he felt very close. He suddenly felt a very cold chill mixed with the warm feeling, and he didn’t know what could be causing the ambivalent feeling. Then it dawned on him… the cold spot. Lex. He had a sinking feeling that his killer was close by too. He tried to swallow his fear and return back to life so he could finally put Lex where he belonged.
He stopped in his tracks, fear trickling down his spine at the voice he heard…
“Right, Lois, you would have helped kill Superman,”
Lex’s voice. Surely, Lois didn’t WANT Superman dead! What was Lex talking about, Clark’s mind furiously wondered.
“He broke my heart, Lex! I am completely serious!…… I am glad you seem all better.”
Lois’s voice! Could this really be happening? Was Lois really talking to Lex about wanting Superman dead?
“Why’s that?” Lex asked.
“Well, it IS our wedding night,” Lois said, and he could hear the seductive teasing in her tone. Knowing what she was insinuating, Clark felt as though he might be sick…
Then there were no more voices. Despite the cold feelings that Lex’s presence brought him, he still felt amazingly connected to Lois. He continued to walk in the dark toward Lois, toward his life. He put his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt and felt the picture of his mother.
****“You just have to listen for the way. And remember, your mother and I are with you, somewhere inside… And your mom and dad on Earth… and Lois.”****
Clark smiled, remembering everything Jor-El had taught him, and everything his mother had said about having faith. It suddenly dawned on him… Lois was deceiving Lex. Maybe to protect herself. Maybe to protect him. He wasn’t sure. But he knew Lois Lane. He remembered. And he saw her kissing him. She was not with Luthor. She didn’t marry him. She didn’t love him. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he had a feeling he was hearing Mad Dog Lane, not Lois, and that was more than fine with him.
*************
*************
Lois's mind was reeling—she knew that Lex being here only meant one thing. Someone had obviously told him that Superman was here. Even though she knew that he was dead, the fact that he was in the hospital and not the morgue obviously meant to Lex what it meant to her… there was a chance that he could come back. Live. And Lex obviously wouldn't have that. She needed to stall, to buy time, and walk Lex toward the room that Henderson occupied, rather than the one she feared he’d find. The one where Clark lay, his only chance of coming back —and even she had to admit it was a slim chance, at that—existing in the condition that nothing else bad happened to him and he received more sunlight, unharmed. And, she silently vowed, she would die herself before allowing Lex to so much as touch Clark.
"How did you recover so quickly?" she asked.
“I didn’t,” he said coldly, meeting her gaze with an icy stare. “If I die doing this, so be it, but I have some unfinished business to attend to.”
Listening to the iciness in his words and in his tone, Lois was chilled to the core, wondering for the millionth time that day how she could have missed what Clark had told her all along about him. But she forced herself to concentrate, as he didn’t exactly seem interested in talking to her. No, this man was on a mission.
“Lex, why are you walking around out in the open? I mean, you must know there are officers here,” Lois said, as if she cared if Lex was caught and jailed.
“Ah, yes, Henderson and such? I’d enjoy watching them try to stop me. Hear these words, Lois, I will kill ANYONE who gets in my way.”
Lois inhaled quietly, but she was aware that her mouth was gaping open. She recognized a threat when she heard one. And Lex was not just threatening Henderson. He was threatening her too. She told herself to swallow her fear; after all, she’d received plenty of threats in her life and her life had also hung in the balance a few times. More than a few times, she corrected herself. A little voice in the back of her mind reminded her that in those times she also had her superhero partner close-by, ready to save her life. But at that thought, she remembered what was at stake and her fears fell away, quite suddenly, and she looked up at Lex, unafraid.
*************
*************
Clark could hear his dad’s voice, talking to him, soothing him, although he couldn’t make out the words. He wished Lois was here. But he knew where she was. He also knew that she was putting herself in danger… as always. He knew she wasn’t near his body anymore, so he went toward his parents, thinking they must be. And he was right. He just needed to find his body and climb into it and hope against all hope he was allowed back into life. Allowed back in time to see Lois safe and sound, he mentally added, rushing more now at the urgency to return.
*************
*************
“How did you get out of the hospital?” Lois asked Lex, stalling for time.
“Loyalty is a beautiful thing, Lois, some people practice it. Dedicate their lives to it. Maybe you should learn a thing or two about the concept.”
“So who helped you escape? Nigel? Mrs. Cox? Or, or both?” Lois asked, feigning interest and desperate to keep him here, talking. Lex only looked at her, though, he didn’t answer. “Well, as long as you’re safe and you’re here with me again—“
“Lois, I was shot in the shoulder blade, not the head. Do you think I forgot that you said you couldn’t marry me? Before anything had even happened with the police,” Lex asked coldly.
“Yes Lex,” Lois agreed, her mind racing. “But that was before I thought I lost you. Watching you lying there, thinking you might… might d-die,” she stuttered out, getting overly emotional in hopes to make him believe her, “I just knew that I was… I was wrong,” she finished in a whisper.
Lex squinted his eyes, as if he were considering this. He moved closer to her, as if he were about to kiss her. She closed her eyes, steeling herself for it.
***********
***********
Clark knew he was closer than ever now. He could feel his body willing his lost soul back into its home, his life force back into his lifeless body. He could feel his parents’ presence, and being so close to them now, he was attuned to their emotions, as well. He could feel their overwhelming, unbearable sadness. There was also an even stronger emotion near him that had nothing to do with his parents. This emotion was passing through him and it was very familiar.
Lois, he realized. He could feel the strength of her emotions, even though she was no longer in the room. Her sadness and… remorse, he wondered… were palpable in the quiet room. Another feeling coursed through him, like a soft, summer breeze. He suddenly felt warm inside, happy. He realized that he was feeling Lois’s love. Her intense, undying, unconditional love… for him! He smiled at all the love that was permeating the room his body lay in, and he lowered himself into what he could only assume, in the darkness, was his body. He started to lay back, hoping for the best, desperately needing to be alive again.
And then his world—his thoughts and feelings included—went black for the second time that day.
************
************
The kiss never came. Lois opened her eyes, seeing Lex’s icy stare greeting her.
“Lois, I don’t want to hear that my—wound,” he bit out, “upset you or scared you. I was there! You were at HIS side! You said I would live, that they needed to take care of HIM. I was removed from a stretcher in my own home so my dead enemy could be taken care of instead because YOU ordered it done! My treatments were put on hold so a dead man could be taken care of first, his need was more IMPORTANT than mine, it seemed…”
“You keep calling him a dead man, Lex. Why are you here, then? You’re so sure he’s dead, then why are you here? What unfinished business could you be talking about if it’s not to make sure the job you originally set out to do was completed? And why, if Nigel or Mrs. Cox could free you from the hospital didn’t you just have them come here and do it for you? Why go through the extra hassle, take the extra risk?” Lois asked, showing more confidence than she actually felt. Her years of staring bad guys in the face, pressing them with questions, all in the name of getting to the truth, gave her just enough experience to act now like that is how she felt. A tough reporter. Not a woman desperately afraid of what was in store in the moments to come.
“Always such a good reporter, Lois. It’s what I always loved about you. That fire in your eyes when you’re in the pursuit of truth and justice. Well let me put this to you… if he IS dead, then why are YOU here?”
Lois looked down, furious at her instincts for not kicking in with the perfect answer to his question about the obvious. Her normally cat-like reporter reflexes were not up to par at the moment, as she was not quite herself.
Lex smiled, obviously knowing he had her. “And also, why are you assuming my unfinished business has anything to do with HIM. Maybe you’re my unfinished business, Lois. Maybe I am here to take you away. On our honeymoon and away from this horrible place,” he finished softly, his charm that had not so long ago won Lois over, evident in his every word, and in his eyes.
“Then take me, Lex. Let’s go!” Lois said, knowing he hadn’t meant what he said, but feeling as though she were fighting a losing battle and needed to take action. She grabbed his hand and started leading him toward the door. She was surprised to see that he allowed her to lead him.
“Sounds good my dear,” he said as she opened the glass door to the hospital… the same one Lois had burst through when she noticed him only minutes ago. “Eternity… just me and you… a dream really,” he finished. They were at the door. It was open. Lois smiled up at him, as she tugged on his arm, pulling him with her. Lex smiled back at her.
Then, as if a dream were suddenly becoming a nightmare, his sweet smile turned malicious and he thrust her through the door, slamming it in her face, and running away… toward Clark’s room. Lois barely had a second to realize what had happened, realize that her plan had backfired in the worst possible way. She was pulling on the door, but it wouldn’t open. Starting to grow frantic, she pulled harder, and somewhere in the back of her mind, her still-functioning logical thoughts told her the door didn’t pull, it pushed, and finally she was inside the hospital again. Barely seeing anything through her bleary gaze she took off toward the room that Clark lay helplessly in, saying a prayer along the way that she wouldn’t be too late.
Running as fast as she could, she felt as if she were moving in slow motion. She knew she couldn’t lose him now, not after she had just found hope that he could come back to her. Memories clouded her vision, almost paralyzing her ability to get to him. She, for some reason, could not get the memory of one of their first meetings out of her mind.
*** “And remember, you are not working with me you are working for me. You are low man, I am top banana! Comprende?”
“Got it. You like to be on top,” he had said, a smug grin directed at her….***
He had never been intimidated by her. Not once, right from the beginning. She had called herself the senior partner, but because of his way with her, she had never felt superior to him. He was her equal. Her friend. And she had somewhere along the lines, because of his charm and personality and so many other things, fallen in love with that friend…
The door…
She could see his door and ran toward it as fast as she could. She wasn’t even sure she was breathing anymore, she was so nervous. Her heart was in her throat.
The door latch…
She was within reach.
She reached her arm toward it, ready to charge into the room and stop Lex… but just as she almost made contact with the latch, she froze in her tracks at the sound of a gunshot, for the second time that day. Her hand flew away from the door latch and covered her mouth.
“No!” she thought fiercely, although no words were sounded. She couldn’t even process, in that moment, how to formulate words out loud. Her brain was not connecting to her mouth and she was just numb and shocked, outside the door, tears streaming down her face.
She couldn’t bring herself to walk into the room… Her legs wouldn’t make the appropriate moves to get her there. She just stood there for a mind-numbing moment before nurses bustled past her and into the room. She could hear their cries at the awful sight. And the door quickly closed before Lois could see anything. And then she couldn’t hear anything more.
She swallowed hard, and braced herself, ready to walk in, when suddenly, the nurses exited with a stretcher. A sheet was covering him and she could see blood staining its whiteness around the area of his chest.
She couldn’t even breathe as the nurses walked by. She knew she needed to see him one more time. She needed to look at his face. Kiss him and hold him one more time. And apologize for failing him, yet again.
With tears falling unchecked down her cheeks, she pushed past one of the nurses, and leaned over the body on the stretcher. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she muttered quickly, pulling the sheet down…
“Lex,” she breathed. She swallowed and looked at the nurses, confusedly. They looked back at her, feeling bad obviously, but not wanting to prolong what they clearly needed to do at the moment. The nurse Lois had pushed out of the way moved back to her original position, pulling the sheet over Lex’s face again in the process.
Lois stood in the hallway, numbly, as the nurses wheeled Lex away. After a few interminable moments, she turned and ran into the hospital room, prepared to see… well not sure what would await her there. She opened the door and froze on the spot. What she saw was not at all what she had imagined would be in the room. Henderson sat on the edge of the table that Clark had lay on, his back to her. No one else was in the room. The Kents were gone. And so was Clark. It was just Henderson. Lois quickly checked to make sure it was the right room.
Without looking at her, Henderson said “you’re in the right room, Lois.”
Lois let the door go and walked in. “What happened? Where is everyone?” she asked, when she finally found her voice.
“I killed him,” Henderson said.
“…I saw.”
“I didn’t want to kill him, but he would have killed me. I killed him,” he repeated, although it sounded as if he were talking more to himself, and were disbelieving of the situation.
“Henderson, you had to,” Lois said, soothingly, seeing how upset he was over what had just transpired, and putting her own fears and concerns aside for the time being. She walked around the table so that she was facing Henderson. He looked perfectly wretched, she thought. He was obviously tormenting himself over this, and she knew he wouldn’t soon forget it.
“No. Today, in the cellar, I did what I had to do. I shot him in a non-lethal place, knowing he would drop that axe. I saw Superman lying there and I knew something was up and that Lex was going to kill him. I felt bad enough later knowing I shot a man to protect a man who was already dead. Today I shot him for no reason, Lois. Superman is dead and he was dead then, too. What Lex did didn’t matter. I shot for basically no reason.”
“No, Henderson, you had to shoot him then and I..I am glad you did. He would have… would have…” she broke off, her voice quivering at the thought of what might have been. “Henderson, it is wrong, not to mention inhumane to d-dissect a body. Even if he was dead, it is just wrong to do what Lex was about to do! Besides that, I think you saved Superman, because I think he can still survive. He wouldn’t have that chance at all if you hadn’t stepped in. And, like you said, you shot at a non-lethal place, just to have control of the situation. And you did, you took control. I am glad you reacted as you did. Really glad. I don’t want anyone to die. I don’t want to see anyone die. Definitely not someone who I was marrying only moments before, even though I stopped the wedding—“
“—I figured you wouldn’t go through with it. Anyone who knows you knows you’re in love with Kent.”
Lois picked her head up and looked Henderson in the eyes. “How did you know?”
“Just look at how distraught you’ve been all day today. You’re not acting like someone who just lost their friend.” Lois’s mouth was now hanging open. Henderson knew. Everything. “Lois, I didn’t become a detective because I like eating donuts, despite what you may say on the issue. It’s obvious that you love him. I’ve known that for awhile. There is just something in the way you look at him and talk to him. And, well today, the look in your eyes, and in his parents’… the truth was pretty obvious, although anyone else on the force, since they don’t know you like I unfortunately do,” he said with a small, teasing smile, “wouldn’t have any clue and don’t worry, I don’t plan on telling anyone. I like Kent and, well, his secret’s safe with me.”
Henderson paused, still looking troubled, but looking like he was still thinking about the information he had uncovered throughout the day. “It makes sense, really. Clark’s a regular guy. He doesn’t want to be hounded like a celebrity, signing autographs and splashed on the cover of every paper and tabloid.”
“Well you were one ahead of me on both counts,” Lois admitted.
“I am guessing you didn’t tell him how you felt. I mean, when I walked in that church today, you were marrying someone else. Or almost marrying someone else, anyway.”
“Yeah, I found out Clark’s little secret about a week before the big day, and needless to say spent the week ignoring him, being angry and stubborn,” Lois said, sadly, thinking back on her behavior.
“Lois Lane, angry and stubborn? Please,” Henderson said wryly.
Lois shot him a look, and then smiled a little. “Henderson,” she said, after a thoughtful pause. He looked up at her, still looking angry with himself. “Like I said before, I didn’t want anyone dead. Even after everything Lex was responsible for, all the lives he ruined and all the pain he caused, I didn’t want him DEAD. You did everything you could to avoid that. Today you had more control of the situation and you handled it the way you were taught to handle such situations. As for before… I’m not sure what happened. But it sounded like it was either your life or his.”
Henderson looked ahead him, not at Lois, as he spoke. “I went looking for you. When you were running before, Lois, you looked upset. I decided to give you a few minutes. After a little while, I thought it might not be a good idea for you to be alone, so I decided to go find you. I saw you in the hallway, talking to someone. You looked upset, but a different upset than you looked all day. You looked nervous. And when I saw the sling on his arm, well it was obvious what was going on. After that it was pretty easy to figure out his destination, so I wanted to get there first. When I got in here it was empty. But I knew he would come, and most likely run through the hospital like a loaded gun when he found the room empty, so I waited. I had called for back up and I had my handcuffs ready and my gun ready and with the intention of making him drop his weapon and arresting him. Well, just as I suspected, he did come, weapon drawn. He wanted to know where Superman was, and I tried to calmly tell him I didn’t know, and I put my gun on him, telling him to lower his. He obviously didn’t acknowledge that I had even spoken and asked where he was, again, saying he would kill me if I said I didn’t know. So I said something a little more colorful instead,” Henderson said, allowing himself a small smile. At Lois’s curious look, he added “I told him where he can go. Anyway, he screamed like a crazy man, pulled back the safety on the gun and aimed it at me. I could already see him starting to pull the trigger when I shot, out of reflex. Our guns sounded at the same time,” he said, swallowing, and clearly shaken up in reliving this.
“I thought there was only one—“ Lois started, but trailed off when Henderson gestured to the hole in the wall he was facing. “How did—“
“As I shot, I dove out of the way… quickly. He missed me.”
Lois’s mouth hung open slightly, as she tried to adjust to this new piece of information. Clark and Lex were dead and Henderson had been a hair away from death as well. There was just too much death around, at he hands of one madman who she had almost blindly married. When it came down to it, she was the main cause of it all. Of Clark’s death, of Henderson’s almost-death. Even, it could be argued, she played a role in Lex’s eventual demise. She furrowed her eyebrows, grasping this new knowledge, more frustrated than ever. But when she looked up at Henderson, she could see that he was still quite shaken up, and in need of a friend. She realized she needed to push her self-deprecation aside for awhile. She put a hand on his shoulder, gently.
“I know the risks of my job, and I know the kind of people that exist in this world, although I have never seen one so sick as Lex Luthor. I have been on this force for almost thirty years, working the most dangerous city possibly in the world… this was the first time I ever had to kill someone. The first time it ever came to that. It was the first time a crazy man pointed a gun at me and seriously would have killed me if I didn’t kill him. We were in a stalemate and it was my life or his. I’m not sure why my life is more important than his—“
“—that is not what it’s about and you know it,” Lois cut in. “You dedicate your life to helping people and bringing justice to the world. He dedicated his life to hurting people. That mission ended up costing him his life, but through no fault of anyone other than him. He did it to himself. He might as well have thrown himself out of his mansion from the top floor and committed suicide, because, in the end, he killed himself. You had no other way of getting out of that situation alive. I am not the type of person who believes one life is more valuable than another, but I am a realist… Bill,” she said, at which he looked her in the eyes for the first time since she had come into the room. “I would have wanted him to live too. If for nothing else, just to sit in prison for eternity thinking about what he did. I definitely didn’t want him dead. I know you didn’t either. But you really couldn’t have done anything differently. Even if you shot him in the arm or the leg, or somewhere non-lethal again, he would have found a way to hit YOU somewhere lethal. He would have made sure of it. You know that. You had no choice—“
“—I feel like there had to be a better way to handle it than that. In training we learn that there is always a better way than taking someone’s life.”
“Always?” Lois asked gently, although skeptically.
“They did tell us about desperate situations,” he added.
“Well, look around,” Lois said, looking around her, as she said that, at the tiny-ness of the hospital room, the bit of blood that stained the wall across from them and the hole in the wall that had nearly been in Henderson’s body. “Welcome to a desperate situation.”
Henderson smiled a small smile at Lois. “You’re not too bad, Lane.”
“Oh,” Lois said, feigning bashfulness.
“You know, I don’t usually fall apart like this in intense situations,” Henderson admitted, looking embarrassed now.
Lois looked incredulous. “It’s pretty understandable! I mean, it’s your first… it was the first time… well, it’s understandable,” she finished, in a smaller voice. “I won’t tell anyone,” she joked.
“That’s good, I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Just remember… Lex did this. He killed C-Clark,” she said, her heart wrenching at the thought she had pushed out of her mind for a little while. “He almost killed you, and in the end, it was his own madness that took his life. You have to know that,” she said, looking intensely at this detective who she had known for so long, but felt like she was seeing for the first time. This detective who she suddenly realized was also a friend.
“Well, I’ll try to remember that,” he agreed and then looked at her. “You should try to remember that too, Lois.”
How did he know she was driving herself mad blaming herself? Lois’s mind wondered. Before she could say anything or tell him of all the things she could have done differently that really could have avoided the whole mess, Henderson’s walkie-talkie sounded.
“Detective, we’ve got Nigel St. John under arrest. He was impersonating a doctor, and we found him armed.”
“So that was how Lex knew which room Superman was in,” Henderson said to Lois. Into his walkie-talkie, he said “copy that, Biggins.” He fastened the device back to his belt, while talking to Lois. “Well, at the church, we apprehended Mrs. Cox and now that Nigel St. John is off the streets it appears Lex Luthor’s work here really is done.”
“I just wish he hadn’t DONE so much,” Lois said regretfully.
“Yeah, me too,” Henderson said sympathetically. “Listen, Lois, I don’t want to leave you alone at a time like this, but I have to—“
Lois waved him away. “—Go. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll check back in,” Henderson said, as he stood on seemingly shaky legs. “I want to know where the big guy is.”
As Henderson left, his final words echoed in her mind. She started to wonder, frantically, where Clark was. Why he was no longer on the table, receiving the sunlight she desperately thought he needed. The conflicting emotions inside her were making her feel sick to her stomach. She was relieved and grateful that he hadn’t been there when Lex had busted in with a loaded gun and one mission in his mind. But where was he, then? Not knowing was making her feel must worse NOW. Suddenly a thought struck her and she felt as if her throat was closing up and someone was ripping her heart out…
***“Martha, isn’t it true that when Clark dies, his body disappears?”***
Jonathan’s voice echoed in Lois’s ears and she tried to wrap her mind around the possibility.
She stood up and started pacing around the room. “No!” she kept thinking. Out loud she could only whimper. “No…” she thought helplessly.
She shook her head violently, walking around and around, until finally she found the far corner of the room. She touched her forehead to the two walls, where they connected, and cried softly to herself. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” she said, sniffling between words. “Clark…”
She turned so her back rested in the corner. She looked at the empty table one more time before lowering herself to the floor and hugging her knees to her chest. “No, no, no, no, no, no,” she kept muttering quietly, her mind racing. She couldn’t take this. Not this. He had been dead before, she knew that… but this, this was too much! She just kept thinking about how she couldn’t say goodbye to him now. She had left him alone too long. She hadn’t even told him how much he meant to her. And now he was gone… not just dead, but physically gone forever. All evidence that he had even existed at all, washed away. Sure, she had a few photographs of him and she had her memories… but photos yellow and fade and memories grow dim with time.
She closed her eyes, desperately trying to imagine him, his smile and his eyes, his kindness… even remember the end and how he lay, looking so peaceful as if he were sleeping. She couldn’t see his peaceful face, though, just the face that was twisted in agony. The face from the video that she was trying so hard to forget. Memories and the video and their final week—his voice shaking both times she extricated him from her life; that look in his eyes at those two horrible moments—rushed through her mind in a mad frenzy, and finally it was too much to bear. “No!” she screamed out loud, burying her face in her hands, shaking all over.
