Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Have A Little Faith in Me Pt. 14/20?

So sorry it took so long to post this, I got tied up doing a bunch of New Years'-type things!! which reminds me...

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!

I am really enjoying this story !

Small typo though....

Clark was Superman. And I had only moments before accused him of being no hero.”

Is there a word missing ?


Cheers,
Allie

Hi,

Great part. This is definitely Lois Lane thinking.


:rolleyes: To much talk for two people that had a long day physical and emotional.

He is not dead!!!


Who is remembering?


More ASAP, please.

MAF

This was such a great part - and I'm especially talking about the Lois & Jack conversation and Jack's introspection.

What a perfectly natural capture of a young man's feelings who has been abandoned by his family, discovers a friend (Clark) but then comes to believe that friendship, which he thought was special/unique, is not.

At least that is what Jack thinks but my bet is that Clark saw him as a little brother. Indeed it was a special friendship.

There are so many places you could go not only with Lois but now with Jack. I still think a part 2 is in order - easy for me to say as I don't have to do the hard work of writing it. LOL!

Course there still is Clark - coming as close to death as one can, still in a deep coma. There are all kinds of issues to address when he comes back. As I mentioned earlier there will certainly be residual damage from the radiation poisoning, if his powers come back I would think it would take months - that is if they even all come back. Usually in situations like this there is some permanent damage - maybe Clark's super-sight won't be quite as acute anymore or his vulnerability won't be quite as great.

However you address this (hope you do) I'd love to see Jack take a part in nursing Clark back. You know, urging Clark to follow Hamilton's orders to not overdue it or to help Clark with a super-workout program designed to bring back his strength.

Of course, if Clark does come back I see Jack at first not wanting him to return to his Superman persona - knowing now that Clark is mortal and out of fear that someone will eventually succeed in doing what Luthor almost did. Now that would make for a great conversation - Jack giving all the reasons why Clark need not resume his alternate persona and Clark telling that he has no choice. Its a gift he has to share. But Clark now realizing more than before that he is indeed at risk - maybe he would talk about his new found fears - with Jack and Lois.

Jack might eventually see the need for Clark to return to being Superman but I could see it as a catalyst spurring him to persue a career in science or bioscience. His secret goal to one day find a cure for kryptonite poisoning - the ultimate gift he could give his friend and "brother" Clark.

It would be great to see Jack become in effect Clark's little brother. That is something that does not exist in the comic book continuity - Clark have an adopted brother so to speak, but I think it would be a great addition to the mythos. Jack adores Clark and I expect will be there throughout the recovery just further adding to the bond.

Like I said, this really deserves a part II - the rest of the story so to speak.

Thank you.

thank you so much, everyone for the feedback... it's so motivating! All the notes are perfect; I am constantly re-writing after I read feedback, it's great!! And I am almost done with the story now, but have made changes in the ending based on advice/questions I have seen here, so thank you so much!! I hope you guys are enjoying and are not ready to kill me that Lois and Clark haven't had a conversation with each other in like 11 parts now, or something

Um... Sorry, Nicole, but the reason I haven't been commenting is precisely that. I really like your premise here. You started off very impressively and I was enjoying it very much. But... well, it's just felt to me for at least four or five parts now that the story isn't really going anywhere - that it's probably around twice as long as it needs to be for the plot you have. It just feels to me as if there's a lot of material in this story which doesn't actually advance either the relationship plot or the 'getting Clark better' plot, and I'm not really convinced that it needs to be there.

Now, that is just my opinion, and I can see that you have other readers who are enjoying this very much, so if you're happy with that then I'll gladly hold my peace. But you asked a question and I had felt guilty for not having commented for a while, given that I was posting comments at the start.


Wendy

I am really enjoying this. The fact that our Lois and Clark have not spoken is adding to the suspense and my love of the story.

I have enjoyed the conversations that have occured between the characters or Lois' introspection during the story so far. Please don't delete any of it! It adds to the story and makes it have more depth and seem more life like. People, in RL, often have lengthly conversations and periodicly in storied there is just a sentence here a paragraphy there. This is a nice change!!! Awesome!! I love seeing different styles. It gives the whole fanfic world more depth if everyone is different.

Nice sounds not that great. I mean it in a great way! People always complain about the word nice.

I love how you took a slice of Clark's life - when he learned how to fly and then you put the bit in at the end - about the kiss being better than flying. Wonderful.]

The part below is great:
Thank you so much and I am anxiously waiting the Lois and Clark 'reunion'. The wait is torturous but I like it in this story. It adds to its excellence.

Thanks for posting and I hope I don't go crazy waiting for the next part. It cannot come soon enough!!!

Hi Nicole,

yeah... remember me? I am supposed to be the president of the fan club. )

Hey everyone~

Thanks for the feedback! I know feedback doesn't equal a pat on the back for great writing and is often suggestions and constructive criticism, and I thank you guys for that kind of feedback too!! I mean it. It has made me seriously think about changes I may make before posting this in the archive. I am not sure how I might change the story, or if it'll change all that much, but I love reading what you have to say. This is my first story of this nature, and if nothing else, will help me in the future, should I attack a story even similar to this, which relies much on character growth and introspection and less on a moving A-plot.

I apologize if I have lost your interest by the slowness of the story... It's almost done, so I do hope that if you were interested at any point in the story, you'll read through the ending. I look up to all of you, and REALLY REALLY REALLY respect your opinions. If the final version of the story isn't something you end up liking a lot, I do apologize, but it isn't because of a lack of respect for the opinions given to me; it's because of an attachment of mine to the characters' development and scenes and lines written and whatnot. (Although I am defintiely going to tighten it up!)

Again, I appreciat ALL feedback you have given me!!

I'll post part 15 soon~

nicole

Howdy!

I just wanted to say I'm still reading, even if I don't have time for comments. I'm a little with the others here. I like the way things have been written; you have a lot of talent with introspection and dialogue. I just think the A plot needs to tie in more...?

Anywho, I look forward to the next part.

JD

????? It is not slow. Just b/c Clark isn't...awake doesn't mean the other characters are not any less in need of attention. If Clark where just to bounce back it would be less believealbe in my opinion. I like that it isn't rushed. It feels more real. People are often left to sit and turn in one themselves thinking what they could have done differently or are v. sad over the situation.

Yes, I've come across some parts that I go huh? Or I see an error, but that is all fixable. If I was remotely close in having the ability to write something cohert, attracts attention and keeps it, and so on, it wouldn't come to something this cool, or other fics I've seen. Mine would be full of, let's say errors. I do hope that you do not take away from the story, but only add to it's great emotional feel.

YES I do grip the seat and say "let's get it on already", but shouldn't a story cause such a strong emotion? ****Well**** there is the situation when it seems like a great story/film should end, but seems to go on forever and you really want to leave the theatre to use the facilities and everyone around you is groaning b/c you think it is over but isn't....I'm babbleing. Well I felt like that in the LOTR ROTK theatre version and most of the other 100 plus pple in the room. And well I *do not* feel that at all with this fic. (the extended version was wayyyy better). So your lenghtly peices are great.

I should shut up now and go to bed b/c I'm sure I didn't get my point across. ugh.

SuperRoo, your point is crystal clear, and thank you!!


Between the posts here and personal emails, I am torn to decide what people like more. The results seem almost completely split. I love that, though; it's fascinating to me that everyone reads the same story and some love the key elements that others want to pull their hair out over, lol

Thanks, all!

I really like this story, especially Jack's involvement, I always wanna see more of him.

*returns to lurking silently on the boards*

(sorry, I'm not much for talking *shrug*)

Good conversation with Jack

Well, I did say that some people would probably disagree with me, Nicole - that's the thing about tastes in reading: they're subjective. You have people who love every word of this, though, so if I were you I'd stick with it, leave the story as it is, but consider some of the points people have made here for your next story.

It's a question of pacing, and that's something which isn't always easy to get right in a longer story. I've messed up on pacing in some of my stories, and only realised after I noticed that I was losing a lot of readers towards the end of the story, or didn't get feedback after it went to the Archive. Now, I love introspection. I also adore angst. But, for me, there needs to be a balance between introspection and dialogue or plot movement (and not necessarily A-plot; having the B- or relationship-plot moving on is just fine). I also need to know that the angst is necessary - I wasn't sure whether the body disappearing thing was really necessary, for example, or Henderson getting quite so guilt-stricken over killing Luthor. He's a cop, after all, and must have killed before - and it's not as if Luthor was a good friend of his, or he believed Luthor to have been a good man. He knew Luthor was a criminal and a murderer. Again, that's just me and I know other readers loved those elements of your story.

Anyway, I'll stick around and finish reading this, and then look forward to your next story - as I really enjoyed The Way You Look Tonight, I'm sure I'll like it.


Wendy

I really liked this part with Jack. I think both Lois and Jack learned a lot from this experience. I am also glad that Lois used Jack as a mirror for herself. It is great that they voiced their own guilt, now they can let it go. Laura

Oh dear!! LOL

I just started this whole story to date last night and finished up Parts 13 and 14 this morning. Yes, I was saying "get on with it", but the pace increased the tension, IMHO. It's hard when one of the main characters is "dead". You've done a great job and I wouldn't like to see it change much. I like the involvement of Jack, I think he was underutilized in the TV show. I thought the bit with Jor-El was imaginative. Clark tracking his body by connection to Lois was well done. I like the whole Lex denoument and Henderson's guilt over having to kill for the first time. While I got a little tired of Lois' constant weeping, it does seem realistic and I felt her pain and that of the Kents.
So keep on doing what you are doing. Then when it is all done, *maybe* think about tightening up some parts. If you listen to everybody, including me, you'll wind up with a jumble. Keep your own voice. You are demonstrating great talent for writing. Keep on keeping on.

Artemis

Hi

I am still here.....I want part 15 SOON pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

I cant wait to know that Clark is awake and talking

Your story is so great Nicole....So many words but when a story is that good it doesnt matter and is worth it.

ASAP part 15 pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee, you know I am your fan.

karla

Well, I'm with Karla on wanting the next part. I thought I might make a comment on the vagaries of feedback. Like I said, I read this in one gulp and so didn't comment on each part. This is do to timing of my personal life and not a reflection on the quality of writing. So I'm not sure less feedback as a story is winding down is really a sign of losing readers. I chimed in here because there was a discussion going on. Without that I might not have posted because others had already said what I wanted to say.

Artemis