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Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Hey everyone  I wrote this at work today. It's not at all the kind of story I would normally write or think of, but it was something that I guess I just needed to get out.  You can obviously leave any and all feedback, if you'd like~  NICOLE
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 379 |
Nicole,
That was so sweet and waffy! I loved the dialogue. Loved Lois' first-person. Loved the "I was going all Lois Lane on him" line... Thank you for sharing. I have to admit I got a little misty-eyed at the end there.
Great job!
--Wanda
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Aw, that was sweet.  Great little story, I really enjoyed reading it. 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Awww....When Lois said, "Don't give up on me"...that made me puddle. JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Cute little story.
Tank (who felt it was set in just about the right time frame, by the use of Mayson as a catalyst for Lois)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Really lovely, Nicole! Poor Clark - when he said he'd finally decided to let go, I really felt for him. I knew that he couldn't be as calm and blasé about it as he pretended. And when Lois finally realised what was different about the way he was looking at her - the absence of hope in his eyes - I wanted to hug him. Awww!! And I too loved Lois's 'Don't give up on me' line. Very, very nice story, Nicole! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Awwwwwwwwwww!
We're gonna need a mop over here! Pile of goo on aisle 10!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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So very, very, very smart. And so very, very, very well written.
That the hope for the two of them was what was missing from Clark's eyes, and Lois knew it's absence but couldn't name it until he told her...oh, so very, very, very brilliant!!
Loved it!
(very much)
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2004
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excelent Nicole Very sad first, then sweet  Lois crying and Clark worried then the kiss Great story  Karla
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Loved the imagery with his eyes and the emptiness... and her plea not to give up was so sweet, too.
Lovely little story!
Hazel
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Nice! The last line is my favorite -- that's how it all started. Very, very nice.
PJ
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Hey all- thanks for all the responses!! Glad to see that this little story was enjoyed Okay, back to doing re-writes, lurking, READING and stuffs... uh, i mean, back to work! Because I'm at work... and that is what i do. I work. I don't do fanfic-related things until AFTER work. Yeah... :rolleyes:
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Cute. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
I can just see this scenario, too. Lois is awfully good at rationalizing and avoiding. It takes a real shock to wake her up.
Very nicely done.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2003
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*tear* oh so very very lovely... wait... no... it's loverly, very loverly... i was empathic towards clark (not sure if that's the correct word there) and also confused for a little bit while he was explaining... it's beautiful that Lois recognized that there was a change in Clark, just by seeing (or rather not seeing) the look in his eyes... now that i'm in Adv. Comp. I think i'll be replying to more stories... it's actually fun now...  *bows in wonder to the writer* Superteen
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Joined: Dec 2004
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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
I have replies in 3 different threads right now, which is strange I didn't know where to reply, but I thought it would be best here. Thank you everyone for your kind words, it's very very appreciated!! Thanks for reading this story (my first attempt at a vignette) Nancy, sorry for the thread confusion, I really appreciated your comments. Everything you said was so sweet. I'm not sure that other writers haven't explored similar variations of that idea at some point, but thank you for making me feel that mine was different and unique. I agree that it definitely was simple. Simple idea, simple to write, simple even to imagine (although Clark letting go of his Lois Lane love and fixation??? Might not be all that likely... but fun nonetheless, as pulling Lois to her senses can often be!) So thanks everyone
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Nicole A lovely story! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Beautiful!!
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Very nice, very warm story. I liked it.
Now, how about the same vignette from Clark's point of view? His thoughts on "giving up" on Lois. His confusion as he watches her stutter, then cry. His reaction to her plea that he not give up on her.
Please? I'd wager you could do a bang-up job on it.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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