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Krissie Offline OP
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Okay, so not a cheery story... but I liked it anyway. thumbsup There is an immediacy to the scene you paint. It's great and packs a punch.

We have the father choosing to save his kids... twice, and Superman choosing to do as the father asks. You've managed to say an awful lot in not many words.

Of course, now I want to know what happens to the kids, themselves, and how Superman will live with the choice he made.

Oh, and I'm not kidding when I say you are going to have to change your nick.

Chris

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grumble )


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That was awesome. I loved how you pulled me into the scene and then experience what was going on. I really felt like I was seeing things from this poor guy's perspective.
The whole things was great. I hope to see more stuff from you in the future. evil

party party party


I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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yes YOU ARE A WRITER NOW thumbsup

I love the story, sad but i love it anyway laugh

karla

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Oh, David, you didn't really think you'd get away with posting a story like this on the boards and swearing you're not a writer, did you? goofy

I really loved this clap Such an original take, and as TJ has said, it really made you see things from the guy's perspective. And, of course, an unHEA ending to round it all off wink

Soooo... I'm ready for story #2... any day now... you could even post it in time for my birthday... wink

Sorcha smile


Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.

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Not a writer, my foot! goofy Nice perspective on the story. We may just have to nag, er, encourage you to write more often! wink


Jen


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Hey David smile

So threats of me convinced you to post, huh? goofy Excellent work, Sara, Jenni and Kae! clap Keep it up!

Ditto Chris absolutely, David. Very nicely done indeed - short, but packed full of emotion, meaning and anguish. You do a terrific job of showing just enough and leaving the reader to piece together the rest. A heartbreaking choice for Superman, of course; and, of course, the father's first thought is for his kids, even in the midst of his own pain and fear.

Well, this better be the first of many, you hear?? wildguy wildguy wildguy


Wendy smile


Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Merriwether
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Powerful story, David! Great job. I'm glad you posted it ... and you are definitely an author!

Kathy

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David

A great story! Extremely well-written! smile1 I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Tricia cool

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When I realised this morning that I had fdk I just about flipped, and then when I realised who'd given me fdk, I did! laugh

/me talks himself down. I'm cool. I'm calm. cool

I'm collected.

*Ahem*


Thanks for the fdk wink


Yes, the threat of telling Wendy forced my hand - I knew she'd tell me to post. Who can say 'no' to Wendy? :p


Another story? More?

Uh... the dog ate my keyboard! goofy

/me should have known he couldn't get away with posting one and riding off at midday because he couldn't wait for sunset


I might be persuaded - which actually means I'm already halfway there, have thought of a premise and started planning - but someone owes me a completed WIP first. *cough*Giggles*cough*


It's a good thing Sorcha didn't say which birthday wink

/me promises to write a lighter one *if* he ever writes another.

- David (ApparantlyAWriterNow)


'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
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I had to read this with my hands over my eyes.


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hey David! You posted it! YAY!
Did I tell you I think your writing is great? I did, didn't I? I really like your writing...more would be greatly appreciated!


In this life of froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
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What they said! It's wonderful and very well-written.

MORE!!!! wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy

AnnaBtG. smile


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Oh, wow... this was so beautiful and so so sad! This was such a great, emotionally-driven piece and I was just in awe as I read through it! Pretty much ditto everything everyone has said-- I can't say enough!! smile

Great work!

~Nicole

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Whoa, how did I miss this one? eek

Very powerful. Very real. Great choice, keeping it all in the father's head. How often do we get a glimpse of how others see Superman? Red boots, the end of a cape = save my kids... wow.

And yes, David, you are undoubtedly doomed. laugh We all want MORE!

Hazel


Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

-- Action Comics 827
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Ditto what everyone has said. thumbsup

Great POV!


Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.

Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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digging this thread out from out of the depths wink
Quote
Originally posted by Hazel:
How often do we get a glimpse of how others see Superman? Red boots, the end of a cape = save my kids... wow.
I've never thought of a rescue this way but it just makes me get goosebumps.

Anyway, I just wanted to leave some feedback as well: Great story smile although I would have loved to read an end as well wink


"Superman is what I can do. Clark is who I am."

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