Hi FoLCs
After 1 hour trying to post this, it finally worked.
Thanks to wife and Wendy for helping me post this.
This is dedicated to a newbie, Louise, who also loves Tempus (Welcome!). El, if you are around, this is also for you
Warning: This is not a MLTV
In Tempus Veritas YEAR – don’t ask.
Whoever reads it, be sure of one thing – you’ll be hearing about me in the future. That is, if you live until then. Confused? Well, my name is Tempus and this is my diary.
I come from the future, from the twenty second century. You don’t believe it? You think I’m crazy? Well, they say the same thing and honestly I’m tired of trying to explain to these brainless out of fashion dorks the advances of technology. Now I hope that, whoever has this journal in hands, can wisely use its information to do one thing: destroy Utopia.
I wonder if this will be read as mere fiction or it will be taken seriously as it should be. In order to prove my point, as a good History learner that I was, I will here mention a few facts that will not only prove it, but will also make whoever reads and follows it a very wealthy person.
The Twentieth Century
1910’s
Whoever is thinking about coming to the USA aboard the Titanic, forget it! It will sink and Jack will die.
The First World War will begin.
20’s
There will be a crash in the stockmarket in New York in the end of this decade. If I were you, I’d invest in guns. There will be a lot of suicides going on when the market collapses.
30’s
Al Capone won’t live much. At least not until he comes back in the 90’s to be arrested again a few days later. Well, not the real Capone, but the clone (a good investment for the 90’s by the way) Yeah, there will be human cloning in the near future, but I’ll leave that to another decade description or to the next TOGOM story.
Liquor will be prohibited. Perhaps it will not be a good idea to open a bar.
40’s
One of my favorite decades. Second World War is up. If you’re a jew, run to save your life. Unless you want to be remmembered in the Pianist or in the Schindler’s List, you’d better run your *** off Europe. (Hittler, my hero… sighs)
You will not enjoy it much if you are not on the US’s side though.
50’s
If a guy called Elvis Presley comes to you and asks for sponsoring, please do so! (hmmm… on a second though, no. Just shoot him. This will prevent Perry from ever knowing about him and make History classes less boring in the future).
60’s
The sixties might be remembered as the decade that came before the 70’s.
Superman came to Earth in 66.
70’s
It’s not only a show on TV. This is a revolutionary decade and personally one of my favorite because it has everything Utopia doesn’t – sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.
This is the time of the Beatles, venereal disease, and Christopher Reeve’s movies.
Drugs will not be legalized though. Investing in the blackmarket might be a good idea.
Petroleum will be also a good investment. I’d buy a few Petroleum farms before the Bush family buys them all. It might give you the presidency one day.
80’s
The best investment would be computers. Computers are automatized machines that can make the most complicated calculations much faster than men. Ask Kasparov!
Robotics is also something to keep an eye on, but please do it before you watch Robocop or Terminator or you might change your mind about it.
I overheard Bill Gates became an orphan on this decade. Adopting him would be the solution to all your problems in life.
Invest in Cryogenics!
90’s
This is the decade I hate the most. It’s when everything begins. Where peace and justice and all those disgustingly WAFFy thoughts start to grow. This is Lois and Clark’s era. I might take longer in this decade because you, my reader, must do something to prevent it from happening.
Lois and Clark met in the year 93 (or the first season as historians call it). They will be working together at the Daily Planet.
In the second season (year 94), they will start their relationship. Thankfully, cryongenics work (I told you to invest in it!) and Lex Luthor, the multi-millionaire, will ruin their first attempt of marriage.
Lex Luthor, however, was betrayed by his butler, Nigel Sunchown, who not only took his money, but also stoled the kryptonite ( a kind of rock that can kill Superman). Okay, this is the second time I mention him so I guess I should start telling you his story.
As I said, he came to Earth in the year 66. He arrived in Smallville, Kansas. “An alien?” you ask. “Duhhh!!!” I say. Of course he is an alien. I just said he is not from this planet!
He was raised as normal human though. He became Clark Kent. A crazy alien who has this sick idea of working during the day and saving the world in his free time.
He is the reason for I to be here in this filthy prison. He, who I detest the most has to pay for it.
Kryptonite… is the only way.
You however, have an advantage on him. You know his secret. Why I didn’t do it myself? I have tried! Why am I in prison? Duhh! If I had a diary telling me what to do all the time, I’d know what to do before this happened.
Unfortunately, now I’m old and still locked in this place.
I’ve tried, but haven’t succeeded.
So far.
I leave you now with all this information in hands.
Think Wise.
Destroy Utopia.
And make it…
…The End.
