Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: "A Long Time In Coming" (part 1 of 2)

Please, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is very welcome (I'm perfectly welcome to go through another few drafts before this goes to the archives).

Ooo! A new story from Sarah! Yay!!

Off to a good start, I think.

I'm assuming that New Krypton also didn't happen, or that there's some reason they're not trying to get in touch with Zara or someone to find out about Kryptonian pregnancies. Or is it just that they don't have a way to get in touch?

I like L&C arguing over the sex of the baby.

Ultrasounds -- Did any of the previous ultrasounds show the sex of the baby? Couldn't the baby move while they're taking it? Of course, L&C could just say that they don't want to know until it's time. But then they run into problems when presumably the baby is born. Actually, that's going to cause a bunch of problems, isn't it? They won't be able to answer any questions, right down to gender and name. (And the poor kid, having to celebrate his/her own birthday on the wrong day...) Can't think of a better cover story, though. Not without worrying everyone that the baby has some kind of weird medical condition slowing his/her development.

Doc Klien's reaction to the holograms is funny. I'd like to see more elements like that in that scene.

Not sure what else to tell you, or what to ask (there's one question I'm very curious about but which I don't actually want to ask).

I'm excited to see you posting again, and interested in seeing what's in part two. It's just... well, I'd like to see more happening, more of a pace to the story. Just not sure what or how.

Paul

Nice start! I look forward to seeing what happens.

Oh, ultrasounds. :p You wanna talk about gender and names? They thought I was going to be a boy. My name was Michael Anthony for quite some time. As long as they have a couple of name options, they should be fine.

Jen
(whose parents clearly didn't put a lot of thought into the female name <g>)

New Sarah story! This was good, Sarah -- good look at one possible Kryptonian complication <g> And yeah, going to Smallville (hiding in Smallville) is probably going to be their best bet, but it is a shame this is so rough on Ellen. Unless Lucy's been up to something, this is her first grandchild; she's got to be desperate to bond. The banter between L&C was fun <g> and so was Dr. Klein. And the whispered "no cape yet" cracked me up

So, you'll be posting the rest today, right?

PJ

Wooot!! Good start!!

Cute start. Laura

Sarah

I'm glad to see you writing again.

A wonderful start!

Tricia

Thanks, everyone, for your comments! I'm glad you liked the first half of my little short story.

Ultrasounds: as I understand it, it's not uncommon for a child to be angled such that the sex can't be told for sure from an ultrasound. Sure, I might be pushing it a little to have them had several and not been able to tell the sex from any of them, but... suspension of belief, okay? I thought you guys would enjoy the surprise more.

As for New Krypton pregnancies, I can't imagine exactly how Lois and Clark would contact New Krypton. Before, Zara and Ching were actually present on Earth, but now... we don't have technology on Earth that would reach Krypton, and I don't remember them leaving behind any device that would allow it. But the *real* reason is that I'd rather just erase the entire New Krypton thing out of my head. I did really enjoy the second two episodes of New Krypton, but in general I hate the idea of New Krypton existing--what was the point of sending Clark to Earth to save his life and perpetuate the species if they were just gonna send a bunch of others elsewhere?

You've got me really curious, Paul, about your other question... do you not want to ask because it would spoil the second half, or for another reason?

And don't worry *too* much about Ellen. She's not forgotten!

Thanks again for your comments!

Posting part 2 now.

Yes, it is possible to have several ultrasounds without knowing the sex of the baby. It's also possible to decide you don't want to know the sex of the baby (which is also commonly determined by amnio... Although what this amnio would look like is anybody's guess...), change your mind later, but find that the doctor, respecting your wishes, didn't record the gender.

Oh, and yes, surprise is nice.

I also don't like NK in general (big surprise there, right? ) and agree that it's quite possible that Zara and Ching didn't leave behind a communications device of any kind.

I do think, however that it might be nice if both things were addressed within the story itself. Just a line or two for each. Let us know that they did have ultrasounds before, but that they still don't know the sex of the baby. Let us know that they thought of NK but found it beyond their reach or mention that NK doesn't exist in this story or something like that. If you'd rather not mention NK at all, that's fine. Just realize that some readers may wonder about it. It's annoying and stupid and it makes no sense (on several counts), but it is in canon. Since you're dealing with post S4 Clark's knowledge of his heritage, it seems natural to me that it'd come up.

As for my other question, it's not a spoiler, it's more a question about the story itself. Actually, I now have a vague memory that we talked about this story over AIM months back, I asked you then, and you said "no." I'll email you later when I'm on the right comp and I can verify that I have the punctuation and everything right on your addy. (Sorry to be so vague. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it at all.)

Off to read Part 2.

Paul