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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385 |
Dave, Davey, sweetie, honey, etc etc... two words. You posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And an extra one... FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and really, the way you started off; “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the presence of these witnesses to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”
Lois looked around slowly. All those people, the hundreds of faces she didn’t know. Here to watch her marry Lex. To watch them be joined.
The Archbishop continued to speak as she looked at him, smiled nervously and looked away.
‘Speak now,’ he’d said.
Speak now.
Speak.
The little voice at the back of her head was telling her to. To speak, to walk, to run, to flee… while she could. ...sucked me in straight away  And then here, what a total sucker punch; She stood in front of the hundreds of strangers. She stood in the sight of God.
Ready to lie.
Her mind was made up. Oh, Lois!! Don't say yes! Don't!  And then this is so brilliant; And then she gave him one. She saved herself. Really, just darned perfect  And Dave! Davey! Honey! What a cruel place to stop  Proud of you  And trust me I wouldn't be saying that if I had to wait to read the next piece! [second piece of smuggery, see, not doing too badly ] Love this first part. Love it, love it, love it. And only gets better from here... [third piece! *claps self on the back*] Till next time Sara.
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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I'm speechless!
Awed.
And speechless!
What an amazing beginning. Sparse and immediate and tense and... and... man, lots of other things I just can't wrap the words around.
Love him hearing Lois save herself. That was my favorite line. Lois washing away the bride. Hearing Clark through the door- his concentration, seeing her door and only that. And then he falls through in the cape. Well... I'm speechless! And a tiny bit in love with your muse, David. Maybe lots more than a tiny bit, but I don't want to scare you off.
More soon, ok? Really soon. I mean, if it's all written you could just pour it all out now, right??
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Wonderful, I'm hooked!
~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
I  ...speechless  ! That was fantastic! Original! Breathtaking! I think I need to find a place in my top five favorite Authors. {edited}And I need to read Echo. Definitely..Just read it. Wow, powerful. And my take on CCMalo's quibble... I have to disagree. The way David wrote it was what made it sooo good, for me. I felt driven to keep reading. It hightened the emotion for me. I liked it. shrug. James
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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I haven't read a L&C fic in a while, but I heard some buzz about this one and the premise description hooked me instantly. What a fabulous, creative, clever idea ... I can't believe no one else has thought of it, but I'm so glad you did! Basically, you could just take everything CC wrote up there ahead of me and paste it here. I'm in awe. I love your style. I love your story telling and the emotions and intensity of it all. I'm reminded once again why I don't normally read in parts, because, believe me, if I knew where you lived, I'd be shimmying up the drainpipe to sneak my way into your hard drive. Is there a posting schedule on this one? Is it finished? Dare I hope that I'll only have to wait three more days to get the final three parts? More, please. Soon. Sooner than soon. *Now* would be, like, just perfect. Kathy
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Oh wow!!!  David, that first part is *amazing*!!! I kept thinking you couldn't top the level of tension, but you still succeeded, especially with those last few lines. Can't wait for the next part!! Kaethel
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
What??!
Clark's tangled in a heap on the doorstep, and you leave me there?!
Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Like it! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,342 Likes: 1 |
Oh, yeah! This is GOOD!!!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
This is good...real good!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
Excellent beginning. This is the first fic I'm reading in real time on the boards, and I look forward to the rest. Very well depicted, and what an interesting premise. Can't believe it'll only be four parts, but you have me hooked.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
(Moving my comment over to here as it seems to have developed as the main comments folder. ) You know a story is a good one when you get duplicate comments folders. I'll choose this one for no particular reason. Well, I had to go check this out after reading the comments. LOL'd at the author's notes before I even started - I just love your sense of humour, David. And I really, really loved this. I enjoyed the sparseness of the style. Much as I love a ton of indepth introspection in a story (and you know I do ), it's nice now and then to read something like this. I thought the amount of information you portrayed was just the right note. Very effective and with a rhythm to the reading that flowed beautifully. Almost poetic. Definitely lyrical. It's a style all your own and you should never change it. It works for you. And it works even better for the reader. I have some small doubts as to whether it's a style that can be sustained over more than a vignette and into four segments. But if anyone can pull it off, I think it's you. I'm definitely interested in seeing it anyway. Too many wonderful little moments to pick out, but I'm just such a fan of the way you put words together, David. You tell a wonderful story, the plots are intriguing and the characters are the ones I love. But beyond all of that, you give us an extra bonus of words crafted just so for maximum impact that resonate in the mind long after they're read. Post more soon! LabRat PS - I adore the title, too!
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457 |
*ahem* Wow! Thanks for the fdk Sara - Only three pieces? Pfft :p CC... Love him hearing Lois save herself. That was my favorite line. That's my favourite line too, so *thank you* for pointing it out I had to be physically restrained from posting the rest after I'd read your fdk. Wow James - I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you liked Echo too Driven to keep reading... that's what I was aiming for, yes, exactly Kathy - I have buzz? Are you sure it was this story? It *is* finished, but... well, let's just say it'll be getting a sequel Lab - Don't be silly now, I love both my fdk threads equally You've said the magic words... rhythm... hopefully you'll be able to remember that, because... I have some small doubts as to whether it's a style that can be sustained over more than a vignette and into four segments. Me too  But we'll find out Too many wonderful little moments to pick out, but I'm just such a fan of the way you put words together, David. You tell a wonderful story, the plots are intriguing and the characters are the ones I love. But beyond all of that, you give us an extra bonus of words crafted just so for maximum impact that resonate in the mind long after they're read. Is there a Labrat fan club I can join? Sara, CC, Liz, James, Kathy, Kae, Jen, Maria, Ethnica, Sheila, Incognito, Lab... thank you all so much. I'm glad you enjoyed part one... I just hope you don't hate me when it's over
'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
- Aurora, Foo Fighters
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