|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
OP
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Good! A happy ending Jose
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
Ah ha! I figured when you said there was a reason Nathan didn't complain that he spoke Russian. Though I wasn't sure *why*. I'm glad you explained that. The bad guys are caught, everyone is happy and safe. *And* Nathan is in Metropolis! (*mind busily sets up a happy super future for Emily and Nathan* ) Wonderful story!
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
I read all four parts last night, but was too tired to post any feedback. And I have to rush off to get the kids to school and me to work momentarily . . . but I know that if I don't post now, I will forget later. So I don't have time to say much more than, Wow! That was great. Very, very nice. *hopefully* Sequel?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Really, really enjoyed this, Sarah - and given I'm not generally a fan of nextgens involving kids that's quite an achievement! Like Karen, I'm busy plotting Emily and Nathan's future, so I hope that's what you had in mind. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
What a nice and lovely story! I live very much the last scene, it gives us hope for a sequel! simona
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543 |
So Nathan understands Russian. That makes sense. Actually, I also figured that out from your reply comments in the third feedback thread. And now Nathan knows the secret. Will he start getting into trouble along with Emily? She's too Lois not to. Lovely new characters and lovely story. gerry
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great story!
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 383
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 383 |
More I it.
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6 |
I REALLY liked the end to this one! I loved the fact that Nathan spoke Russian...that was cute...especially his comment of 'you'd have been better off with Chinese'...good job. Great fic!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known." -Angel
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi, I do love next gen stories and I thought this was one was very good. Loved the kids and you had just enough A-plot to advance the relationship between Emily and Nathan. I'm hoping you're now writing a sequel. Yours Jenni
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Just started reading this. I like it.
Will come back later to finish my comments.
James
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
Sorry I missed commenting earlier... I must admit, I liked the first two parts better, but parts 3 and 4 were very good too. I enjoyed reading this story. Hope you'll keep writing See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107 |
Good, cute story. Lots of potential if you want to expand things, too. One thing I'm curious about, however is the thugs who tried to shoot Nathan in the alley. Jack stopped the bullet in front of them, didn't he? And they took off, so they know he's a super....
-- Jeff
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151 Likes: 1
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for reading, everybody!
To reply to a few specific comments...
I realize that I probably shouldn't have said what I did about the Russian in my comments folder; I gave too much away. I had just wanted to know if that satisfied their thoughts on that subject, or if they felt that Nathan should have pretended he didn't understand so they wouldn't wonder themselves.
My thought, with the two guys having their bullets grabbed out of the air, was that they would just freak, not believing what they'd seen. After all, they're not in Metropolis, and while they've probably heard of Superman, it would be a more distant thing... he goes around the world for larger disasters, but not to stop bank robbers. And it's a dark alley... etc. Is that enough explanation, or should I try to go back and fix that somehow?
Originally, I wasn't planning a sequel, and I was going to reply to this post saying that I'd already told Emily and Nathan's story and that it was done. However, I started thinking about what a sequel might *be* if I were to write one... and, shall we say, the muse perked up her ears. So, I have lots of ideas and I'm working on writing them now, so there may be a sequel after all!
Thanks again for reading and for all your comments.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Originally posted by Meerkat: However, I started thinking about what a sequel might *be* if I were to write one... and, shall we say, the muse perked up her ears. So, I have lots of ideas and I'm working on writing them now, so there may be a sequel after all!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Sarah This is a wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 383
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 383 |
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
A very well done NextGen.
I look forward to more of Nathan, Jack and Emily.
James
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446 |
I liked this story a lot! I'm so glad Nathan's in Metropolis... I, too, will be delighted to read more of their story. Considering their increasingly close friendship, I imagine they'll be coconspirators in any adventures... As for your comments on the Russian-speaking: I'm not sure how you could change the scene, really... it's so immediate, you know? You can't really go off on a tangent about Nathan in the middle of Jack and Emily's planning... Well, okay, I guess you could... If he said anything in that scene, he'd probably have replied or commented in Russian, right? Since that's what they were speaking at the moment? (Maybe a curse in Russian just as they flee the building, like when Jack grabs him? I'm sure neither Emily nor Nathan were exactly grabbed gently at that point! That could result in some mildly panicked conversation between Jack and Emily once they pick themselves up and dust themselves off after the explosion. ) Nathan's reacted with silence before, and he's a smart kid. He'd understand they'd switched languages to exclude him. Maybe Nathan could just move restlessly when they first start speaking in Russian. The thing is, though, you do explain it further down in the story, and on the Archive (HINT, HINT), the story isn't separated into parts. So leaving that scene as is works for me. As for any sort of fix to the bullets/robbers scene... I don't know. Maybe a throw-away comment overheard by Jack and Emily as the robbers vamoose? Along the lines of "last time we buy any coke from that dealer"? Anyway. I really liked the story, and I am another one who rarely reads any next-gen stuff. I'd love to see more of Nathan and Emily's adventures. Either right after he arrives or as they get older. Hey, you could have a series here, you know. Give that muse free reign! ~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." -Elayne Boosler
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Whoopsies! Loved the ending!
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
|
|
|
|