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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Interesting premise here, Cindy. You did a really good job setting it up, too. On this sort of story, I tend to go through trying to find the weaknesses, the parts where I can say "well, why don't you do *this,* you idiot, and avoid the whole thing" but there weren't any of those. So CJ's alive, but he has to let everyone except his family think he's dead... seems I've heard something like that before, somewhere  And then you rachet things up another notch with a pregnant wife (widow?). Based on your title, I think I see where you're going with this, but the journey should be interesting. PJ EDIT: Just editing header to include part no.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Ooh, this looks really interesting! A plane crash and CJ "dead". This really got me: Something had to be done, CJ thought as he looked around at the men, women, and children around him. If the plane went down, he would be fine, but they would surely perish. But what could he do to save them?
With a start, his eyes located the air phone. Saving this plane would take the skills of someone who could fly, and he knew just who to call. As he reached out for the phone, the plane suddenly pitched downward at an alarming angle. Muffled screams from around him caused the goose bumps to rise all over his body, followed by a small irrational jab of terror at the thought of what came next. None of this helped his concentration, and he found himself fumbling with the phone. Darn all the stupid features, he thought as he impatiently scrolled through the menu system. No, he didn’t want to send email or look up news. The imagery is just scary enough that I am now dreading my flight home this Saturday for the holidays  But honestly - wonderful imagery and description.  The bit about the email was perfect - such a monotonous detail of our everyday life, we don't really notice until a moment like this... But if he’d been any normal human being, he would be down there with the rest, a victim of horrible circumstance. It would be hard to explain the bodies that were floating in the water above the wreckage, the ones that CJ had apparently freed and tried to save. Even harder to explain, though, would be a lone survivor showing up, one who was miraculously unharmed. And I think this fine paragraph sets the tone for the story. I really love Clark's POV here... he could have lost his son, so this wreckage is especially hard to look at. And the evidence that CJ tried to save people but couldn't... I just really like where this is all going! Cindy, this is great! I hope to see more... SOON!  ~NICOLE
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 73
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 73 |
Thanks for the comments, guys. Yeah, the title doesn't leave much to the imagination as far as one aspect of the story goes, but there's more going on here than just that, believe me.
I also realize the (outward) similarity to a certain episode, but aside from the obvious correlation, this fic doesn't have much in common with that. I promise to go relatively light on the angst and high on the adventure and romance and humor, thereby making sure this fic doesn't resemble others that are inspired by...that episode.
I appreciate the feedback. Look for more in a week or two. Thanks, and have a happy holidays.
AnnN.
To thine own self be true.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 130
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 130 |
And just as I had given up hope, one of my favorite series gets a new story started! YAY!!!
Of course, CJ is more or less legally dead, which is problematic. Not so yay. It's TOGOM: TNG, basically. Except by the title, CJ will be heading off with a new life, and.... Where does that leave Jenny? Should be a fun ride -- thanks for bringing us a new tale!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 231
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 231 |
I just wanted to say that I loooooove this series! I'm so happy to see a new story! I cant wait to see what happens next!!!!!!!! Post soon!  Please!
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