Black Chiffon (1/1)
Alrighty! Its 4:30 am, I had a pot (yes, a POT!!) of coffee at 8:00 pm and this here is the result!
Rated PG
Thanks to JenniJAC for looking it over! All mistaked are mine, though. MINE MINE MINE!! You can't have them!
***
Lois rapped her knuckles against her fiancé’s door. They were supposed to be going on a date that evening, but an impromptu lead on their latest story had popped up during the day. Apparently, according to Bobby Bigmouth, something big was going to go down that evening at certain nightclub downtown. She didn’t know much about it only that men dressed in women’s clothing was something not out of the norm.
Bobby hadn’t been specific on what was going to happen; only that it would be big. And that it would happen that night, and he was sorry that their date was ruined.
Lois had asked how he knew about that. Bobby said that it was his job to know. Then he’d taken a bite out of the delicious looking éclair and Lois had silently cursed him, sure that he knew he was teasing her. Clark had bought her one as well, but that pastry had been gone for hours.
So they cancelled their date, though they were both resourceful people and decided that they could salvage the evening by going undercover as a couple.
She knocked again; slightly annoyed that he was taking so long. The man took ten seconds flat to shower and shave in the morning, for goodness sake.
“Just a moment!” His voice seemed to have an odd crack in it before evening itself out, but she had little time to wonder at that when the door opened. Instead of being greeted by her partner, she was welcomed by a gush of air as he ran back to his bathroom.
“Clark? Is everything okay?” Cautiously, she stepped into the room and looked around, half expecting to see the remains of some sort of disaster that struck between her last visit and now. Everything appeared to be normal. But then, so did her boyfriend.
“Yeah, all’s okay! Just putting on the finishing touches.” She heard a brief struggle followed by some grunts and the sound of something crashing to the floor. Before she could head for him, she was stopped by his voice. “I’m okay! Just wait out there, all right?”
Lois shrugged in defeat before taking a seat on his sofa. She had no idea what he was up to in there, but the longer she sat, the more wary she became.
“All right, I’m coming out!”
When he came into view, she just stared at him for a moment. And then she was overcome by a fit of hysterical giggles as he attempted a sashay towards the couch. When she was able to speak, she managed to choke out a question. “Clark, are- are you wearing my clothes?”
“I’m sorry, Clark’s not here.
My name is
Clarice.” He flipped his glossy brown curls over one shoulder with one hand perched on his hip. A hip that - along with his torso and half of his thighs - was encased in a familiar strapless dress of black chiffon. “And no, I happened to stumble across this at the store. It’s very hard to find a dress that fits!”
Lois managed to get her giggles under control. Apparently her fiancé had gone through great lengths for this undercover mission. His hair fell around his shoulders, legs encased in black hosiery, and he even managed to find a pair of black pumps. She got up from her cushion and slowly circled him, whistling slightly as she went. While she hadn’t expected him to wear a dress, she had to admit that he looked kind of nice. “Black chiffon, eh?” She picked up his hand and ran her fingertips over his crimson nails. Press-on, if she were to judge the length.
“Well, you
did say I would look good in it.”
“Mmm. And apparently I was right.” She came to stand in front of him. Curious, she poked at his chest.
His indignant gasp made her jump slightly, and he brought up a hand to cover his chest. “Why Miss Lane! Do I go around groping your bosom whenever I choose?”
Clark – no,
Clarice’s indignant falsetto choked another bark of laughter from her. “Yes,
Miss Kent! You do!”
“Oh yeah. Well, in
that case!” He grabbed her hand and pressed it firmly against his chest. She felt the give of the padding in the strapless bra. “Grope away!” Lois waggled her eyebrows at him, giving him a brief squeeze before dropping her hands to his hips. He wrapped his own hands around her back, pulling her close. “You know, I’ve always wondered why you girls got all dressed up. Now I know. The feel of hose, of chiffon rubbing against smooth skin. It’s kind of nice.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Clark, did you--” He began to look around; humming softly as though he didn’t hear her. “I’m sorry. Clarice, you didn’t… you know.” She rubbed her hand against his unusually smooth forearm, already knowing the answer.
“I’m a very thorough person, Lois. You should know that.”
She had to stop herself from imagining him holding up a mirror to try and angle his heat vision to get all the hair from his legs. If she thought about him balances on one foot while hopping about, she doubted she would be able to stop giggling before they had to leave.
Instead she looked at his face and noticed his make-up was slightly off. “Well Girlfriend, before we leave we got to put the right eye shadow on you. For some reason I doubt ‘peacock blue’ is your color.” She turned and pulled him towards the bathroom.
“Oh joy, makeover time!” He skipped along behind her. “Hey, do you still have that guy’s costume you wore?”
She glanced back at him smugly. “Which one?”
***
A few hours later, Lewis Dane and Clarice King ran out of
Outside In, both laughing. The tip from Bobby had proven to be false, but the night had still been fun. Lewis had half the bar convinced she was a guy, most of the bar convinced Clarice was her boyfriend, and the entire place convinced that she wore the pants in the relationship. More than once she had to fight off the advances of both male and female, both from her and her partner.
Finally, convinced that nothing was going to happen, they decided to leave. It was then her close-cropped wig had fallen off and her pixie style puffed out, and when the bouncer had pulled off her mustache both she and Clarice made for the door.
A couple blocks away they slowed to a walk. Clarice adjusted his shawl and wriggled his feet back into his shoes. He then looped his hand through the arm Lewis offered and sighed with contentment. “I had a really nice time tonight, Lewis.”
Lewis chuckled at the high-pitched tenor. “Yeah,” she grunted in response. She then cast him a glance through the corner of her eye. “Tell me again why we didn’t get you into chiffon earlier?”
Clarice laughed in a decidedly male voice. “You know, if we hurry, we might be able to make those reservations.”
A higher pitched giggle followed his, and the two continued their stroll.
-end
Alternative title?
The New Adventured of Lewis and Clarice.And really, no offense to anyone. Because honestly? Cute guys dressed as girls is hawt. Or is that just me?
And oh! If you need a little bit of a visual, here's the dress:
Black Chiffon
