|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
|
OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi,
Once again I'd like your opinion on how this story is going. I'm sorry that Clark is still not home, but the plans are in motion.
Yours Jenni
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
Really good!
Don't rush your story on our account. These things take the time they need to take in order to unfold!
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 29
Blogger
|
Blogger
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 29 |
Clark could be gone for 20 years and I wouldn't care as long as you keep posting. Love it Mona
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. Good idea! Some months after Clark's disappearance, Jonathan had finally admitted that he'd lost both the will and the energy to continue working the farm. He and Martha had leased out the land to a local farming co-operative and moved to Metropolis to help Lois raise the children.
Now tears mingled with smiles on their lined faces. Jonathan and Martha would be proud and more than happy to see their farm back in the hands of a Kent once again. Strangely, that thought gave her a warm feeling inside.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
This is going to be a relatively short reply, Jenni, and I'm sorry. But I have to make a relatively lengthy quote, nevertheless: "Matt, have you decided whether you're going to claim a relationship to Superman?"
"I haven't actually made upmy mind about that." Matthew dug his hands into his pockets self-consciously. In fact, I haven't really thought all of this through. I was hoping that you guys would help me here. What do you think... Mom?"
Lois didn't answer immediately, but continued to walk back and forth. Seconds later, she halted while her glance swept over the others in the room and eventually settled on her son. "That's a difficult one, Matt. I suppose you could be evasive... claim your origins are Kryptonian, as were Superman's...."
There was another small pause as Lois fingered her wedding ring and everyone else almost forgot to breathe. Then she continued with quiet dignity. "But I think you should say Superman was your father. Jenni, that one got me right *there*. The way it isn't obvious whether or not Matt should claim to be related to Superman. The way Matt turns to Lois, to let her decide. And the way Lois touches her wedding ring before advising Matthew to say that he is Superman's son. The loyalty, the confirmation, the love that is in the whole scene is breathtaking. Oh, and speaking about breathtaking: I, too, was holding my breath, as I waited for Lois's answer! There are so many other things I would like to say, but I don't have that much time. But I simply loved the way amnesiac Clark sees an image of Matt in his mind, when he - Clark - is skipping stones. As he is enjoying this small pleasure, he suddenly sees his son skipping stones too, at a time when Matt was much younger. But the reason why Clark sees Matt at all is that a part of him is aware of Matt and knows that Matt is troubled and needs his father. It was horrible that Clark experienced such terrible pain when he started to remember anything at all. But it was wonderful that, somehow or other, Clark managed to give Matt the support he needed. You know I love your story, Jenni. Like L said, there is no need to hurry it along to a conclusion, or to get Clark back to his family before your story is really ready for it. Every new chapter posted here is so interesting, and you should let your story evolve on its own terms. Ann
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 108
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 108 |
I agree with the others: let the story progress at its pace. I mean, yes, I want to cry buckets because Clark missed all those formative high school years for Matt, and Sara's turned sweet sixteen without her Dad, and the last time he saw Vicky she was 4! Now, she's 10! but that shouldn't compromise the story. After all, its own little world, I can still remember it's make believe. One question though: Why *is* it taking so long for Clark to come home? I thought that whole, natural wanderlust would get to him and he'd be off. And I thought one reason he loved the big city was because you could get lost in it, but I think the argument you have rings very true as well. Anyway, I was asking about pace. Is that just the way you feel the story going, or are there more deliberate reasons for the years-long gap? (If you can't tell us now, that's fine. I'll just wait and see)
Anyway, solid work; I'm already ready for chapter 9!
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89
Freelance Reporter
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89 |
Don't you think he is still there because he's too sick? He was told to be careful which way to travel by the doctors. The doctors fear both for him and themselves was strong. He has no concious memory of a wonderful past to spur him on to look and is afraid it might be harmful instead. I think he's carrying a lot of fear and insecurity. He's carving a life for himself just where he has found himself to be. For me, 'natural wanderlust' has little to do with his time away, it's more like being in a 'witness protection program', nor does he even know 'what' he is away from. Poor Clark. Jenni, your detail and range of feelings conveyed in prose is rich. What more can I say? LaurieD
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 26
Blogger
|
Blogger
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 26 |
Jenni, This story is fantastic!!!!
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Jenni - another wonderful section! You have such a talent for writing these family scenes so realistically - you can feel Matt's angst and Lois's pain and you cover every aspect of making this new hero!! “Mom, Grandma! I don't want to wear Dad's suit.”
That halted Lois' deliberations stone dead and she turned to face her son.
Matt was looking a little defiant again, but he spoke apologetically. “I meant it when I said I didn't want to be Superman. If I wear his suit, that's the name people will associate me with. They'll call me Superman Jr... or Son of Superman.” So true. But this just got me - ... “We've seen you take them out some nights when someone or something has reminded you of Dad.”
Lois flushed. Those were her private moments and she didn't exactly appreciate Matthew telling the family. It was true, though. There were times when she'd needed the feel of something of Clark's beneath her hand... beneath her cheek.... “But I haven't done that in y... in a long time,” she answered defensively.
“We know, Mom,” Sara said quietly. “And we didn't mean to spy on you. It's just when we heard you crying, we'd get worried about you....”
“So we checked up on you,” Matt added, edging up to his mother and placing an arm round her shoulder, experimentally, letting it rest there when she didn't pull away. “We only did it because we love you, Mom.” This just got me, it's written so beautifully, expressing everyone's emotions so well. It's such a great moment but I am very ready for Clark to return... please come back soon with MORE! ~Nicole
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450 |
Well done, Jenni. I love the line about the ax murder, and man, do I feel sorry for Clark. After so much time, can Dr. Klein help him?
Bright
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.” --Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure." --Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 693 Likes: 6 |
I loved this chapter. I can't wait to see what happens when Matt makes his debut as Jor-El Don't worry about rushing the plot. We're eager for Clark to come home of course, but not at the expense of a story Keep posting!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known." -Angel
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221 |
Jenni, this is unfolding so wonderfully — your writing is terrific and conveys so much emotion. I loved the dialogue between Lois, Sara, Jonathan, Martha and Matt. My heart also broke for Clark and these snatches of memory that taunt him so! I can't wait to see him make it back to Lois and the children, but I have to echo everyone else's sentiments here and also say that it shouldn't be rushed just because your readers are anxious. Thanks for sharing this with us on the boards, Jenni. I can't wait to read your next chapter.
~ Crystal
"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
|
OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi, Once again I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has commented. I'm so relieved that you're prepared to let this story play itself out. Clark has been gone for four years by the time Matt takes up the role of superhero and the end of Clark's exile is in sight. I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow as usual. Yours Jenni
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89
Freelance Reporter
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 89 |
It's a tribute to your storytelling that we're all so anxious.
|
|
|
|