Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Atonement (1/?)

Well, I think you can breathe again, Beverly. It's not at all scary.

We're clearly in the realm of the cartoons here, which would normally be something of a turn-off for me, but I'm going to keep watching this one out of curiosity to see where it leads. In other words, you've hooked me in.

You asked about characterisation. Well, I suspect I'm enormously biased because of the cartoon aspect, but Clark doesn't quite feel like our Clark. Perhaps it's his character as reflected in Bruce's interaction with him that does it - for example, that last line about not letting Clark kill Tempus before he's had a chance to outline his plan. I know it was said with a touch of black humour, but even so, I can't imagine saying that to our Clark because Clark would (almost) never kill anyone. Like I said, though, my opinion is probably coloured by the presence of other cartoon characters and the unusual setting - ie, Lois dead and the eleven-year-old daughter.

BTW, who is Diana? I assume she's another cartoon character, but not having read any of them, I wouldn't know.

Keep writing!

Yvonne

Well, Beverly, I was totally enthusiastic about your story, but as you can see from Yvonne's post, there are a few things here to address. Personally, I love the "cartoony" feel of your story. To me, it comes across as a totally delicious blend of the ABC TV show and the Silver Age Justice League comics, featuring Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, from the sixties!

But it's clear that most people here won't know who "Diana" is at all. It might be a good idea to introduce her just a little bit, at least to the extent that you mention the name "Wonder Woman". Possibly, just possibly, you could have Laney ask Diana just a little something about what it's like being a heroine, or how she throws that cool lasso of hers!

Also, in the comics it has long been hinted that Wonder Woman might be a possible love interest for Superman. (Although it has never been suggested that she might be a good love interest for Clark!) You could, possibly, just mention a little something about the tabloids in your alternate reality having paired off Superman and Wonder Woman as their "dream team". That way, we could see more easily that Clark might suspect that possibly, just possibly, Bruce has actually brought Diana along in order to try to play matchmaker! To get Clark interested in her! (Of course, the way you write the story, I get the impression that you may rather be thinking of getting Diana hooked up with Bruce. I wouldn't really like that, because the way I think of Batman, he is absolutely not the marrying type, and I don't think Diana does flings. But it's your story, and if you want to get Diana and Bruce together, I won't say anything more about it!)

Also, the suggestion that Clark might be contemplating to kill Tempus is a bit worrisome. When I read it, I thought it was just Bruce's way of telling Clark to take it easy, to refrain from jumping the gun before he had listened to Tempus. I certainly didn't think there was any real possibility that Clark would actually be thinking of killing Tempus. I also didn't think there was any real possibility of Clark going on any sort of rampage after Lois had died, in spite of what Batman said about the wisdom of Superman's retirement. The way I see it, Bruce is suggesting that Clark might kill and become extremely violent because that is something that Batman himself might possibly do. Clark wouldn't. I like the idea that Batman would say those things, because they reflect the generally darker nature of Batman's personality. But I think it is important that your readers don't think that your version of Clark is a potential killer, because surely he is not, Beverly?

For me, as a long-time comic book reader, your story is a delight. And I honestly think that comic book-inspired stories such as yours are such a welcome change of pace on these boards! You shouldn't make too many concessions to the non-comic-book-readers, but you should probably explain a few things to them.

Hang in there, Beverly! Go for this story!!!

Ann

Yeah, but you haven't seen the rest. Well, the rest I've already written anyway. Okay, okay, I serious doubt I could write that scary to begin. I think *I* was the one scared out of her wits and still am somewhat. More on that in a moment.

Yes, there's definitely a cartoon influence going on because that's primarily where I'm drawing a reference for Clark & Bruce's friendship since I don't read the comics. It is still set squarely in a L&C universe that also contains Bruce and Diana, thohgh. Personally, even if I did read the comics, I'd probably still prefer the way Batman and Superman's friendship is protrayed in the recent cartoon versions about Superman, Batman & the Justice League. They just hit so many of all the right emotional levels in those cartoons about their relationship that I've always thought that's the way it should've been done if L&C could've had Batman visit. Eventually, if this works out, I may have to add something about that crossover aspect to the author's notes, even though I don't consider it a crossover.

I'm not sure it's actually intended to be black humor although I will admit to a touch of that coming through. It's difficult to explain, though, before the next chapter is ready to post. Suffice it to say that Clark has lost a lot more than just Lois and Bruce knows it, so I'm not sure he is any more our Clark at this point than the alt-Clark on the series was. Bruce literally meant what he said. This is part of what freaked me out as all this was coming through my fingers. I couldn't believe what I doing to poor Clark.

Oh, and Diana is Wonder Woman, who IS dating Bruce Wayne in the more recent Justice League cartoons. I was undecided whether to make her identiry clearer before posting Chapter 1, so sorry about that. I also had this sneaking suspicion that in the most recent Justice League cartoons she doesn't even have a last name so I was sort of stuck on what it should be.

Well, of course I should have realized that you watched the cartoons rather than read the comics, Beverly. These days that's totally the right thing to do, because the comics are truly too dark nowadays.

Oh, and Diana's last name is Prince, by the way! And she is an Amazon Princess! And she is dating Bruce in the cartoons? Hmmm... those cartoons....

But... you are saying that Clark really is a potential killer. Okay... I can accept that, because I know there must be a good reason for it.

Ann

I knew it was Prince traditionally, but you know I don't know if I've ever even heard it mentioned in the more recent cartoons because even when she's dressed as a civilian people still know her as Wonder Woman. Which I thought was weird.

As to her and Bruce's relationship, yes, they did actually date in a couple of the Justice League Infinity cartoons, I think. My son (19) is of the opinion that it has about as much chance as any of his other relationships do, but strangely I was quite struck by how right it seemed in that cartoon universe in particular.

For one thing, she's portrayed as a much younger Wonder Woman and so is a little bit more wide-eyed about the world in general. Not innocent, mind you, but definitely apt to take up a cause if it strikes her fancy. So she plays off his tired playboy persona quite nicely when they're not in costume. She's also independent and strong enough to walk away from his brooding if he gets on her nerves. He, also, wouldn't dare use the old "you might get hurt" line on her to end their relationship, either, on fear of actually getting hurt himself.

As to those strange rumors that WW and Superman might be romantically linked in any incarnation, I tend to completely ignore their existence or pretend they're someone's strange hallucination. No, really, for the exact opposite reasons why I think she could work for Batman, I've never bought her and Superman working. They're too much the same, too much in the light most of the time. Lois, now, Lois has a bit of darkness in her soul that Clark brightens for her.

One thing I will say, just to set some of your minds at ease here. I have no intention of introducing any other superheroes than those two into this or an other L&C story. Why? Because I have no intention of dealing with entire pantheons of them. Three is quite enough, especially when they're the main three from DC, which is what makes it quite convenient that Bruce and Diana's recent dating is so fresh in my memory.

I had to think about how to answer this one. I believe the best answer I can give is yes and no and that's not only because I'm trying to tap-dance around where I'm not even sure the story is going yet.

The way I see it so far, it's about Bruce realizing in a way many don't that when all is said and done Clark is a human in a non-human body. He has emotional limits even if he doesn't have many physical ones. He could lose control just like anyone else but the repercussions of his loss of control are as great as his powers. That's something that's always been an intrinsic part of their relationship. Bruce is probably one of the few individual's besides Lois who accepts not just Clark's superpowers but Superman's humanity. Sometimes he provokes Clark into losing control and sometimes he's just there as a safety net but Batman never, ever forgets the potential danger Superman could be as many do.

That's what I believe may be going on here. No, Clark isn't a killer, potential or otherwise, in his heart. But what if that heart was broken? What if the anger there was suddenly unleashed upon the individual he believes, mistakenly or otherwise, caused that pain?

Personally, I'd want Batman there holding the leash.

This is such a telling comment.
I love the way you put this: Clark's powers versus Superman's humanity. That's one of the huge reasons this relationship (Lois and Clark) is so popular and has endured since the 1937 Action Comics debut of the caped superhero. These fanfic stories, for the most part, play off the inherent tension of two persons in one body and try to explain why Clark sometimes acts like such a lunkhead and other times he's noble to the point of self-destruction.

That has to be one of the best, if not the best, description of Clark/Superman I've ever read. I hope you'll give me permission to use it in a story I'm now working on. (I won't use it unless you do.) And if not, I'll certainly understand. It's not easy thinking through these things to come up with such a concise, precise encapsulation of this complex man.

Oh, the story looks very good so far, too. Please continue! Bribe your muse or something! Offer him (or her) a three-day weekend at the Lexor, in the honeymoon suite if necessary! I really want to know what happens next.

I keep commenting on your comments, Beverly, but since you said you liked feedback on this, i just assumed....

As for Diana and Bruce, I myself would never have paired them up. But you have done it and you think it works just fine. And because you believe that it works, you must hang on to it! Only when you yourself believe in something will you have the chance to convince others that you are right. So, unlikely as it would seem, as your story unfolds, you just might convince me that Diana and Bruce are right for each other! And if you can't make me change my mind that drastically, I'll still enjoy your take on Diana and Bruce just because I can feel that you believe in it!

And you say that you want Bruce to be there and hold Clark on a leash, if he's going to break, so that he can't control himself. Well, I vividly remember a comic book story, from the very late eighties or the very early nineties, where Clark gave Bruce a piece of Kryptonite. He gave it to Bruce for precisely this purpose: If he, Clark, was ever to lose control, then somebody would have to stop him. If necessary, kill him. And the person he had chosen to trust with his life that way was Batman. Please note that when Clark gave Bruce that piece of Kryptonite, Clark was admitting both to himself and to Bruce that he might lose control. He might become horribly dangerous.

I think your take on Clark and Bruce here is brilliant, Beverly.

Ann

Hi,

Great start.

Well, I don't think it's an original thought on my part so go for it.

This is so true. I think if the truth be know, one of the reasons I've suddenly become interested in pairing the two in a story like this is that lately I've been hearing so many people on the romance forums I'm on talk about how Superman/Clark-type heroes aren't interesting to write because they don't have to struggle with anything.

That is such a crock because Clark is so complex. In a lot of ways he's more complex than the dark brooding heroes, not because he's so good but because he's so powerful.

Here's a contradiction that I've been thinking about a lot lately. Batman is seen as the ultimate brooding loner. Right? Then how come he's also traditionally seen as this philanthropist that surrounds himself with all these "orphans" that he mentors and nurtures, while Superman, the ultimate leader of men, is traditionally seen as someone who has to remain alone and isolated?

I suspect Bruce could've gotten married several times a long time ago in the comics and I doubt anyone would've raised an eyebrow. But how long did it take for it to become acceptable for Clark and Lois, the woman who's always been there with him, to even get involved?

So, who is truly the real loner that has to fight with every breath he takes to have a family? And why? Because people can't see his humanity for his powers . . .

Bev - I saw your questions in Fanfic Related, when poking around the other day, and so I headed to Fanfic to read the fic in question.

I must admit, I don't think I've ever seen a Batman movie, much less read a comic book, though I am familiar with the basic idea of who he is [and I don't just mean Bruce Wayne ]. I have even less of an idea who Wonder Woman is, save the pictures of the TV[?] show from the 70s[?].

However, in reading the exchange in this fdk folder, I'm awed by the comparisons between Clark and Bruce as well as Superman and Batman. Two people in each body. Clark's powers v. Superman's humanity. I love it. You have put it so well.

I'm going to try to stick around long enough to read the end of this! If not, I'll look it up on the archive at some point...