As Always, All characters belong to DC comics and /or Warner Bros. No copyright infringement intended.About my posting schedule: It is catch as catch can. I'm still new. But I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.
Next, let me say this is definitely an alternate universe story, but it is set in a modern context, not the 1930s. While I think that might be a fun take, I'm not enough versed in the history of that era to write in it.
Some partial dialogue has been borrowed from the Cary Grant film His Girl Friday. My goal is not to rewrite the plot of it so much as explore how that story would go if Lois and Clark were in it instead. And I may quote lines here and there in pieces to capture the snappy dialogue and witty feel of that movie that I just love.
However, to do that I must take some license with the characters. I'm doing my best not to bend them too much, so no crucifixions please.
LOL Clark will be a little more agressive in this piece, much like the Cary Grant character of Walter Burns. But I can imagine that a desperate Clark Kent about to lose his wife might do some desperate things. All of this is supposed to be a "light romp", if you will. And to quote the opening quote of the movie:
"It all happened in the Dark Ages of the newspaper game--when to a reporter 'getting that story' justified anything short of murder. Incidentally, you will see in this picture no resemblance to the men and women of the press of today. Ready? Well once upon a time...."
And now for Part 2:
Within the foyer of Luigi's, Dan and Lois sat waiting on plush velvet sofas for Clark to make his appearance so they could all be seated together. Lois smiled as she realized that Dan was scanning the restaurant's copy of Vanity Fair, not his usual reading fare. Lois fiddled idly with the hem of her skirt, before staring back out the glass door of Luigi's Posh Italian restaurant. She still couldn't decide whether she was amused or inflamed that Clark would pick *their* restaurant for a lunch date...err...meeting with her and Dan. It just felt odd.
She wondered for a span of about fifteen seconds if she really should be concerned at all if Clark would show up. After all, he had this horrible habit of bailing on plans at the last minute. It was actually the main reason she had finally sought a divorce. <After all, how could you be married to someone who wouldn't be in the marriage with you?> And Clark, as much as he swore his undying love and devotion, could never seem to be counted on when it really mattered to her. She had asked him on more than one occasion what was holding him back, but the same tell-tale fear would show in his face. And then he would give another lame excuse accompanied by the same limp smile, and it was then she knew. He was lying to her.
Anyone who knew her would have been puzzled at this point. She could hear Clark's own words from the past. <You're an investigative reporter, Lois! Investigate!> But when it came to Clark, she just couldn't bring herself to it. After all, he was her husband. And she had seen how her mother's mistrust of her father had actually driven a bigger wedge between them than her father's initial infidelities could alone. No, even when it was justifiable to be angry, she could never justify prying about Clark's secret.
What she had really wanted...even waited two years for, was for him to tell her the truth himself. Because he wanted to. Because she was his wife and he trusted her. Because she deserved to know. And especially, because he was sick of having this stupid wall between them.
It was funny now to think of some of the wild explanations she had come up with for why Clark really “had to return overdue library books” or “run a check over to the telephone company dropbox at midnight.” She even speculated for a while over Superman's involvement, as she had, sometime that first year of marriage, noticed a pattern between Clark's running and Superman's exploits. It always felt to her that if she tried a little harder, she would make all the pieces fit and the puzzle would fall into place. But she never tried that hard...she just kept waiting. Until finally she decided she would wait no longer.
<And here I am, waiting again. Wonder what cheese of the month flavor is coming in today.> But she really had no choice. Clark had managed to once again sidestep signing the divorce papers that morning. And she had to get his John Hancock on them before she and Dan could move on.
Checking her watch, she noted that it was already 12:30 pm. Dan's Mother, or “Mother” as she preferred to be called by all, was not a patient woman. She prided herself on her punctuality and strict moral upbringing. Lois knew there would be some butting of heads as far as that lady was concerned when they settled down back in Oklahoma, but she figured it would be a small price to pay, if Dan was a man she could count on.
Within another couple of minutes, a harried Clark Kent rushed into the doors of Luigi's, story notes in hand. After a brief apology for his tardiness, they all walked to the front desk to be seated.
******************
A Superman rescue of a mugging victim two streets from Luigi's had kept Clark tied up later than planned, and so it was relief that flooded over him when he opened the glass door to find Lois and Dan still waiting for him when he walked into Luigi's.
After a brief mumbled apology, which was lame even to his ears, Raphael, the head server, was escorting them to a table in the center of the room with exactly three chairs. Seeing his chance, he edged far enough ahead of Dan to grab the middle chair, placing him between them. Lois just rolled her eyes and shook her head, smiling. Dan just seemed befuddled, and sunk down into the remaining third chair.
Before an uncomfortable silence could ensue, Clark spoke. “You know Dan, you are one lucky guy. You do know, of course, that you're getting married to a great newspaper 'man'. In fact, that's the one thing that worries me.”
Dan asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, take Lois here. She is a news hound through and through. Why, she taught me everything I know about this business. I can understand why she'd leave me. But, Lois, I know you. I know what quitting this business will do to you. Why, it's in your blood! It'll kill you. You'll always be a newspaper man, Lois.”
Lois smiled coyly. “That's just it, Clark. I'm tired of being a man. I want to go somewhere that I can be a woman.”
Dan was concerned. “Lois, are you sure about this? I mean, I would never want to take you away from what you love.” After considering her for a moment, he pressed on, more sure of himself. “No, I take that back. I'm not taking you away from anything. I'm offering you a life you deserve.”
Lois smiled back at him, enfolding her hand in hers across the table. “That's right, dear.”
Clark contemplated the gesture anxiously for a moment before he regrouped and spoke again.
“Well, that's too bad, Lois. Because the Planet is going to miss you. In fact, we could really use you on a day like today.”
Lois tried to disguise her interest. “Oh really? What is so special about today?”
Clark set out the bait. “Well it's the Chris Jeffers story.”
Dan chimed in. “What story is that?”
Lois inched forward in her chair. “Yes, I've heard some of it. But tell me the lowdown.”
With such an attentive audience, Clark began. “Well, the poor guy works twenty years at the same job as an accountant for Luthor technologies. Then due to some downsizing, he loses his job. When he can't find another one, he goes nuts and shoots a police officer. Tomorrow morning they're going to give him the electric chair.”
Lois was indignant. “Well, that's horrible! Can't they prove he was insane?
Clark shook his head. “Unfortunately not. So far, both shrinks they've hired declared him in his right mind. Although they were both formerly employees of Luthor Technologies, which seems fishy. They have another one interviewing him today. Let's see-” Clark paused as he scanned his story notes. “-the new shrink is a Doctor Max Dieter. And, the police officer that Jeffers shot was Hispanic.”
Dan was confused. “What has that got to do with anything?”
Lois nodded in understanding before she turned to Dan and explained. “Dan, it's politics. The Hispanic vote is important in this town, what with an election less than a month away.”
Clark added, “Yeah, I think the mayor would give his own mother the chair if it would guarantee the Hispanic vote in that election.”
Lois had to know more. “What about the governor? Won't he issue a pardon?”
Clark nodded sadly. “Maybe, if someone could find the guy in time. When I called his office earlier, they said he was 'fishing', and wouldn't say any more than that.”
Lois contemplated this. Then, with an animated voice she spoke. “You know, Clark, it wouldn't be too hard to save the guy's life.”
Clark smiled. “Oh really?”
Lois continued. “Sure. All you'd need to do is interview Chris Jeffers. Then print Doctor Dieters statement. Run them alongside each other, double column. Dieter says he's sane, but the interview shows he's crazy!”
Clark nodded sadly. “That'd be great, if my current partner weren't AWOL. You remember Henry Fernandez? Well, Perry partnered him with me on this story before he realized the guy's wife was due any day now with twins. And guess when she picks to deliver? Today.” Stopping to consider the situation, he continued. “Lois, this story would be perfect for you to do!”
Lois was obstinate. “Oh Clark, you don't need a partner.”
Clark disagreed. “Lois, you know I can't write that kind of article. It's the kind of thing that requires a woman's touch. And while sometimes I can do touchy-feely pieces, by no stretch of the imagination am I a woman! Besides, Dan here won't mind if you take one last story to save the poor devil's life, would you, Dan?”
Dan agreed. “No, Lois. I could get Mother on my own and come back for you. We could even take a later flight if need be. How long would it take?
Clark responded, “ Two hours, tops. An hour for the interview, an hour to write it. Come on, Lois! If you won't do it for me, do it for the Daily Planet.”
Lois wouldn't budge. “No, Clark, I won't do it! You can save him, or he'll remain unsaved.”
Clark put on his best puppy-dog eyes, and in a softer voice he spoke again. “Lois, all I want is for you to be happy. But this story is important— this guy's life is important. If you'll do this one thing for me, I promise....” Drawing a breath, he added, “I'll sign those divorce papers, wish you the best, and never bother you again.”
Lois paused. For all his inconsistencies, she knew Clark didn't give his word lightly. So far, he had been very adept at dodging her attempts to gain his signature. This could be her chance.
After a moment, she acquiesced. “All right, Clark. I'll interview Jeffers, and I'll write the story. And then I'm starting my new life.”
Clark smiled. “Sure, Lois.”
Turning toward Dan, she commented, “You can pick up Mother alone, and I'll meet you back at the Planet at four o' clock. If you need me before then, you can try reaching me at the press room of the criminal court building.” Dan shook his head in agreement.
As they all rose from the table, Raphael brought their bill. Clark shrugged. The maitre'd then passed it on to Dan. Lois rolled her eyes, while Clark pressed his hand to her back to usher her out. Looking back at Dan, he stated, “See you at four!”
And with that they were on their way to the jail for another Lois and Clark exclusive.
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Okay me hides again.
