From Part 4:

His voice was laced with steel when he issued his ultimatum: “Lois, either you stay with my parents while we investigate Luthor, or I fly out of here tonight and leave you to him. If I were you, I’d consider this decision very carefully.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t do that.”

He leaned forward and stared right into her eyes. “Just watch me,” he said softly.

It was a bluff, of course, but it was a powerful one, and he stood his ground. She blinked first, and her eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I hate you, Clark Kent.”

He sighed, awash in a mixture of pain and relief. “Thank you, Lois. I’m going to do my best to make sure you can continue hating me for years to come.”

_________________________________________________


Part 5:

Lois didn’t believe for a second that Clark would fly off and leave her vulnerable to Lex Luthor. He had watched over her too carefully for too long, and she knew that he wasn’t capable, even in the face of great anger, of knowingly letting her come to harm. He despised Lex Luthor, yet just two weeks earlier he had saved the man from bleeding to death. She knew she had hurt Clark, but she couldn’t believe she had sunk lower than Lex in his estimation. No, Clark wouldn’t leave her until Lex had been brought to justice…but what then?

It was this question that had made her give in to him in the end. She’d spent the last three days trying to find Clark and growing increasingly frantic the longer he’d stayed away from Metropolis. If there was one thing those days had taught her, it was that she needed Clark in her life and was not prepared to lose him. He’d told her that she was the one thing about Metropolis that he couldn’t live without, and suddenly she realized that she felt the same way about him. She needed Clark – needed his friendship and his protection and his constancy.

Not that she was in love with him. No, she wasn’t in love with Clark and maybe wouldn’t be in love with anyone else, ever. She was still trying to make her peace with the realization that the man she’d believed she was in love with didn’t actually exist. Just the thought of Superman and the kind of love she’d imagined they could share still brought a startling sense of loss. When she’d seen him addressing the press after resolving the hostage situation, she’d felt relief, on the one hand, that she’d finally found Clark, but she hadn’t been able to suppress that momentary surge of excitement that she always felt when she caught sight of Metropolis’s resident superhero. Intellectually, she knew it was just her hayseed partner masquerading beneath all that red and blue, but the sight of his chiseled features and commanding posture still made her heart start to pound and the butterflies flutter busily in her stomach. This irrational, irrepressible response made it clearer to her than ever that her head and her heart would never be on the same page when it came to love. Much better, then, to simply give it up completely.

So she couldn’t be in love with Clark, but she did need him and want his friendship, and she was well aware that her words that day in the park – and later at her apartment with Superman – had significantly shaken their relationship, one she’d always thought was built on bedrock. Clark could hardly stand to be in the same room with her, and it would take time to heal that breach and convince him that things could return to the way they had been before. When Clark issued his ultimatum about going to Smallville, she had recognized that this was the decision upon which any future relationship between them hinged. If she didn’t show Clark that she trusted him and respected him as a true partner, then she would lose him entirely. For once in her life, she needed to step aside and let someone else take charge, even if “stepping aside” meant going all the way to Kansas.

And though it went against every instinct, the decision, once it was made, didn’t actually feel all that bad. Knowing Lex was spying on her was unnerving, and if she continued in Metropolis, she’d have to let the spying continue lest he realize she was suspicious. The last few days of feeling uncertain about Clark and having Lex pop up unexpectedly in odd places had taken their toll. A few days in Kansas might be just what she needed to restore her equilibrium.

“I want you to go home and get ready for Perry’s party tonight,” Clark said, in that authoritative voice she’d only ever heard from Superman. “Don’t pack a suitcase or do anything out of the ordinary. Assume that Luthor is listening every second.”

“That is so creepy.” Lois shuddered slightly.

“I know,” Clark agreed. “And it’s possible that I’m wrong, but I doubt it. I’ll come pick you up at 6:30, and I want you to invite me in. I’ll check for any surveillance equipment then. If there are no cameras, you might be able to quietly pack a suitcase.”

“Cameras,” Lois repeated, feeling the blood drain from her face. “You really think he might have put cameras in there?”

“Lois, the man bought and destroyed a newspaper for you! I think it’s safe to assume a little thing like a hidden camera is within his capabilities.”

“Clark!” she exclaimed, sitting forward suddenly as a horrible thought occurred to her. “What if he was watching the other night? What if he heard what you said…saw you change into…”

“No,” he said firmly. “Your apartment wasn’t bugged the other night. I would have known.” He tugged lightly at one ear.

“Are you sure?” she asked anxiously.

He smiled at her for the first time that day. It wasn’t his usual open grin, but it was enough to give her a glimpse of the old Clark and to warm the atmosphere between them slightly. “I’m sure. But thank you for being concerned.”

“We haven’t talked about the other night much,” she began.

“Later,” he said, the warmth disappearing immediately. “Right now we need to be focused on Luthor and making plans to get you away from him.”

“You wanted to be top banana,” she said grudgingly. “So you tell me.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “I think I’m going to like this arrangement.”

“Don’t push it, Kent,” she groused, and she was rewarded with the almost-smile again. It was enough to reassure her that her instincts about a man had, for once, been good ones. Clark was enjoying feeling in control, and though she had no intention of allowing him to get carried away with it, she was finding that she didn’t mind handing him the reins as much as she’d thought she would.

“OK, so I’ll pick you up at 6:30,” he was saying, “and come in just long enough to check the apartment. Then we’ll take your Jeep to Perry’s party. Fortunately, there’s a nice dark alley behind the restaurant, so half-way through…”

“I’ve never noticed an alley there,” she interrupted.

“Lois, I am probably the world’s leading expert on Metropolis alleys. There isn’t an alley in this city I haven’t landed in, changed in, or stopped a mugging in at one time or another. Trust me, there’s an alley.”

“Fine,” she said, holding her hands up in a gesture of concession. “Far be it from me to question your alley expertise.”

He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and ignored her. “Anyway, half-way through the party, we’ll slip out through the back into the alley and take off for Kansas from there. Even if Luthor has someone watching the front door, he won’t be suspicious until much later, when you don’t come out with all the rest of us.”

“Wait a minute…what ‘us’? I thought you were taking me to Kansas.”

“I am, but I’m not staying. I’ll return to the party and leave with everyone else. I don’t want Luthor to have any reason to associate me specifically with your disappearance. I doubt even then he’d think to track down my parents, but you never know.”

“I didn’t think of that,” she said, biting her lip. “I don’t want to put your parents in any danger.”

“Neither do I, I promise you. But I think this is the safest thing. If you’re in Smallville, I can check on you and my folks at the same time. And they’re the only ones I feel safe trusting with this.”

“I guess you don’t have many people you can really trust,” she said, the thought occurring to her for the first time. What must it be like to live day in and day out with a secret that big, knowing there was no one in whom you could confide?

“No,” he agreed, sounding tense. “Mom and Dad…and now you, I hope. You’ve joined a very small club.”

“You can trust me, Clark,” she told him seriously. “We still have a lot of things to talk about, but I want you to know that I never for a second considered not keeping your secret.”

“Thank you,” he said. His face softened slightly, but when she reached to touch his arm, needing some contact with him, he jerked it away as if he’d been burned. “Um, I need to go.” He stood up.

“Wait a minute!” she protested. “You haven’t told me what it is you know about Lex. We haven’t talked about the investigation.”

“We’ll have to do it later,” he said. “I’ve been away for three days, and Superman needs to show his face around town a bit.”

“When later?”

“Soon,” he said vaguely. “Just be ready tonight, OK?”

She was annoyed at being brushed off, but she managed to swallow her protests and allowed herself to be shown to the door. She’d barely made it off his front stoop when she heard the whoosh of Superman taking off. The sound made her nervous. His incredible powers made it so easy for him to get away from her, and she had a feeling that if she made a single misstep, the day would come when she’d hear that whoosh for the last time, and Clark Kent would be gone from her life forever. She knew she would stay uneasy until Clark arrived as promised to pick her up for the party.

_____________________________________________

She hated the idea of being in her apartment now and put off her return there as long as she possibly could. Her skin positively crawled at the thought of Lex or one of his underlings watching and listening to everything she did. When she did return, she had to force herself to dress for the party normally, in the middle of her bedroom where she always dressed, despite being tempted to slither into her clothes in a dark closet in case Lex had planted cameras in her room. She absolutely refused to shower, opting instead to simply touch up her hair and makeup. She surreptitiously tucked as many cosmetics as she could into her purse in case Clark told her she couldn’t pack them later.

She was almost ready when she heard Clark’s knock at the door, and she felt a wave of relief as she crossed to let him in. He had come back, as he’d promised, and soon she’d be out of this apartment and well away from Lex Luthor. After only an hour in her apartment, her nerves were stretched taut and the idea of relocating to Smallville seemed positively inspired.

“Hi Lois,” Clark greeted her cheerfully. His easy grin seemed to light the room, and Lois felt something inside her leap with recognition. Clark’s back! her heart seemed to sing, and she had an irrational urge to hurl herself into his strong, familiar embrace, to rest her head in that sweet, perfect niche just above his clavicle, to breathe in his fresh scent and hear the rumble of his laughter. For a few seconds, she forgot the hurt, angry man she’d confronted at his apartment that day and instead saw just Clark, her friend, whom she’d come to depend on more than chocolate and coffee put together.

But then she saw his eyes, bleak and wounded behind his glasses. The smile and cheery voice were just an act, put on like a disguise in case Lex was watching or listening. The eyes told the real story, though, and seeing them made her realize that her Clark was no longer within reach, even when he was standing three feet away. He wasn’t back at all, and suddenly she was afraid that maybe he never would be – that the friendship and love she’d always thought were hers for the taking had really been withdrawn completely.

She swallowed over the lump in her throat and returned his cheerful greeting as convincingly as she could. “I’m almost ready,” she added. “I did some shopping this afternoon and got back here a little late. I just need to put on my earrings.”

“Take your time. We’re in no rush.” They were mundane, ordinary words, but again in the friendly-Clark voice that sparked a hundred memories of lighthearted pleasantries and easy chivalry. She’d thrown all that away with both hands, and only now could she see its value.

“Thanks.” She returned to her room and came back holding her earrings. “Did you have a good afternoon?” she asked as she slipped one diamond stud into her ear.

“Pretty good,” he said lightly. “Sent out a few resumes. Ran a few errands. Nothing exciting.” As he spoke he lowered his glasses slightly and glanced around the room so casually that if she hadn’t been looking for it, she’d have missed it completely. “Do you mind if I use your bathroom before we go? I helped a man get his car started outside and got some grease on my hands.” He held up his hands for inspection and, sure enough, his fingers were smudged. She didn’t know if this was in the interest of verisimilitude or if he really had helped a man with his car. With Clark, it was probably both.

“Help yourself.”

He disappeared into her bedroom, and she used the time to straighten a few things in the kitchen and then to check her appearance in the mirror one last time, using her finger to scrub a tiny smudge of lipstick from her teeth.

“All done,” he called out, startling her. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She gave him a slightly inquisitive look.

“We’d probably better get going,” Clark said. “Don’t want to keep the guest of honor waiting.”

“Right.” She supposed this meant she wasn’t going to be allowed to pack anything.

He ushered her out the door and stood patiently while she locked the many locks. When she was done, she again shot Clark a questioning look, but he just shook his head minutely, letting her know they couldn’t talk yet.

They maintained a steady stream of small talk in the Jeep, but it cost more in effort than any conversation she’d ever had with him, including the one in his apartment earlier that day. Honest anger seemed somehow more comfortable than this false friendliness, and the fact that he was bothering at all was enough to tell her that theirs were not the only ears listening to the conversation. That thought was enough to make a difficult conversation nearly impossible, and she found herself missing conversational cues as her mind skittered around in a blind panic, trying to recall exactly what she’d said and done in the last couple of days. Obviously, Lex was spying on her. What had he seen or heard? She tried to remember if she’d done anything really embarrassing. She didn’t think she had, but couldn’t be sure. She sometimes talked to herself when she was upset. Had she said anything out loud about Clark being Superman? The very possibility was enough to make her blood run cold, but there was no way to be sure. Her mind simply wouldn’t call forth the memories in that much detail.

She realized that Clark was giving her an expectant look, waiting for her to respond to something he’d said. “I’m sorry,” she said. “What did you say?”

He shook his head. “It’s not important.”

“What?” He probably thought she was half-witted, unable to attend to a simple conversation about…she thought it was something to do with a fire near Hobbs Bay, but it could just as easily have been some barbed wire in Bob’s hay. She hadn’t a clue.

“Never mind.” He pointed out the window. “I see a spot there. That’s probably as close as we’re going to get.”

“Got it,” she said. She changed lanes with a sharp jerk of the wheel that sent her purse flying and then whipped into the parking spot Clark had pointed out before anyone else could take it.

“Nice driving.” He reached down to retrieve her purse from the floorboard.

“I got the space, didn’t I?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Congratulations, Lois. You win again.”

“The meek may inherit the Earth, Clark, but they do not get parking spaces in this part of town.”

He handed her the purse. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

_______________________________________


“Whose idea was the belly dancer?” Lois asked as she watched Perry lurch around the room after a scantily clad dancer, all the while crooning "Lonely Teardrops."

“Comes with the price of the party,” Jimmy said, grinning. “What, you don’t like her?”

“I don’t like watching Perry make an idiot of himself.”

“Too late,” Clark said, wincing as Perry bumped hard into the wall and took a moment to right himself.

“Oh no,” Lois moaned. “Now he’s singing ‘All Shook Up.’ Jimmy, go get him – make him sit down.”

“Uh uh,” Jimmy said. “Not me.”

“Clark?”

“Nope. Let him have his fun. I’ve gotta…” he gestured in the direction of the restrooms and gave Lois a significant look. “Excuse me for a minute.”

“Sure, CK,” Jimmy said.

“Um, I need to go, too,” Lois said, reaching for her purse and scrambling up from the low cushions on which they’d been seated. “Wait up, Clark.”

“I thought it was women who always went to the bathroom together,” Jimmy said, but he didn’t seem to be paying them much attention, his eyes glued instead to a new belly dancer who had just emerged and was gyrating through the room.

Clark gestured for Lois to precede him, and they worked their way through the crowd to the back of the restaurant, where, instead of heading to the restrooms, they quickly made their way through the kitchen and out the back door into the alley. The kitchen workers barely glanced at them, well used to the antics of partiers who’d had time for a few drinks.

The alley was dark and narrow enough to send a claustrophobic into a panic attack, offering barely enough room for two people to walk abreast. It held nothing more than a collection of foul-smelling trashcans and the occasional battered chair where, judging by the number of crushed out cigarette butts on the ground, employees of the street’s restaurants and businesses sat and took smoking breaks. Lois wrinkled her nose a little at the stench and watched as Clark lowered his glasses and looked carefully up and down, making absolutely sure they were alone.

“I’m going to have to go straight up, and much faster than I have before when I’ve flown with you.” He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I, uh, need you to close your eyes and hide your face in my neck to protect it. It’ll only be for a few seconds, until we’re above the clouds.”

She nodded. “That’s fine. Um, are you going to do your…” She twirled her finger in a tornado-like motion.

“Yeah.” He stepped back and quickly spun into the suit.

“Wow,” she said, unable to keep a note of breathlessness from her voice.

“I need to…” He moved closer again, seemingly unsure of how to go about picking her up.

“It’s not like you haven’t done this before,” she pointed out.

“Right.” He lifted her into his arms, but she could feel how rigidly he held her, as if he wanted to touch her as little as possible. It felt nothing like the other times Superman had held her, when she’d used it as an excuse to get as close as possible to him. Little had she known that he’d been doing the same thing. Superman had been in love with her. Now he was practically repulsed by her, if his current discomfort was anything to go by. She looped her arms around his neck for stability and hesitated a little before putting her head on his shoulder and burying her face in his neck as he’d told her to do. It was the exact spot she’d been longing for when he’d arrived at her apartment – that warm, masculine niche that seemed to have been created just for her. She felt him swallow once, and then they were shooting into the air so quickly she felt as though she’d left most of her vital organs back in the alley.

“You can look up now,” he said, his voice sounding slightly ragged.

She lifted her face, brushing a cloud-dampened piece of hair out of her eyes. “That was something.” This time she was distinctly breathless.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to risk being seen.”

“No, it was fine. Exciting.”

“Let’s hope it’s the last excitement you’ll have for a while.”

With that repressive statement, he turned his attention to the business of flying, which seemed to require a great deal more of his focus than it usually did. She closed her eyes against the wind and tried to pretend that nothing had changed, that Superman and Clark Kent were still their comfortable distinct selves. She tried to imagine that she and Superman were on a romantic moonlit pleasure flight to...well, to almost anywhere on earth besides Smallville, Kansas. Since she’d become infatuated with the handsome superhero, she’d imagined him taking her to tropical beaches and snow-capped mountains. She’d imagined romantic interludes at the top of the Eiffel Tower or on a gondola ride in Venice. She’d even imagined eloping to Vegas, for heaven’s sake. But not once had she imagined him taking her to a farmhouse in Kansas. It was just impossible to build any kind of a decent fantasy around that, especially when he was holding her so stiffly and so silently.

In only a few minutes they were drifting down to the Kent’s front porch, but the flight had seemed to take much longer, and for the first time ever, she was glad when she was out of Superman’s arms. Clark seemed to feel the same way, taking care not to touch her as he reached out and opened first the screen door, which complained loudly, and then the front door with a key he’d fished from under a nearby flowerpot. Once, Lois would have teased him mercilessly about that, but that sort of banter now seemed to belong to another life. If he wasn’t quite Superman to her anymore, neither was he her naïve farmboy. She’d lost them both, somehow, and was left with this angry stranger.

“Mom? Dad?” Clark called as he stepped inside.

“Clark?” His mother’s voice drifted down from somewhere upstairs. “Why aren’t you at the party?” She appeared on the steps then, still knotting a bright pink bathrobe, and immediately stared. “Lois?”

“Uh, yeah,” Clark said. “Lois needs to stay here for a while, Mom. She can tell you why. Right now, I need to get back to Metropolis before I’m missed. I’ll be here for breakfast in the morning, though, all right?”

“Of course,” Martha said faintly.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He was gone again in a gust of wind, leaving Lois and Martha staring at one another.

“What’s going on out here?” Jonathan demanded, appearing beside his wife.

“I have absolutely no idea,” Martha answered.