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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
Yay, they've missed each other! I'd bet it was not as much as I've been missing this story, though.  Yet another thoroughly engrossing chapter, Caroline. I loved Martha playing matchmaker. Heh. These two do need some two by fours swung at them sometimes, and I don't think there's a better person to do that than Mrs. Kent. I'm really liking the way you're having Lois come to realizations about how she feels about Clark, and I'm thoroughly amused by Clark in denial. Christmas cards! *bg* My favourite segment was Lois' delayed attack of the nerves about Nightfall, though. The whole "she hadn't worried nearly enough" was such a precise and well-put statement. There are many gems I could quote, but the line I'll probably remember best from this segment is: “Deflowered?” She giggled. “Did you go to high school in Victorian England?” Hee! Awesome. Your story continues to hold me in its thrall. Can't wait to read more!
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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“Thanks, Mom.” He extended his hearing, seeking out Lois’s presence, and almost instantly concluded that she wasn’t in the house. “Where’s Lois?”
He was unable to keep the note of panic from his voice. If it had been anyone else, he would have assumed she was fine, that there was a logical explanation, but with Lois, absolutely anything was possible. She could have fallen down a well, been mowed over by a combine, or hitchhiked a ride with a serial killer. Suddenly, Smallville seemed like a hotbed of potential catastrophes, and how dare his parents sit so calmly in the living room when Lois was probably clinging to life by a mere thread?
“Oh, she had a date,” his mom said, frowning thoughtfully at her canvas as she added another swipe of magenta.
Clark was so busy mentally preparing for the imminent rescue that it took a moment for his mother’s words to sink in. When they did, he thought it was a joke, and not a particularly funny one.
“Seriously, Mom. Where’s Lois? You didn’t kill her and bury her in the back garden did you?” He laughed uneasily. Oh, I just had to open up a new window and laugh at this whole section. And I'm basically laughing at everything after that as well... Ok, that conversation they had at the end was really important. They still have a ways to go, but they're going nowhere until they start talking. JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 833 |
Awwww! This was so SWEET!!  I'm still loving this! Siiigh... I'd missed a couple sections somehow, so I had a nice reading session catching up. Can't wait for more!
Mmm cheese.
I vid, therefor I am.
The hardest lesson is that love can be so fair to some, and so cruel to others. Even those who would be gods.
Anne Shirley: I'm glad you spell your name with a "K." Katherine with a "K" is so much more alluring than Catherine with a "C." A "C" always looks so smug.
Me: *cries*
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Caroline...awesome! I'm especially glad that Clark and Lois seem to be making up.  The only complaint that I have about this story is that you're not posting frequently enough! Please...more soon. I'm just goint to have to quit reading it until it's all done...NOT. But I'm not going to lower myself to grovelling...please! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Completely amazing; everything you've turned out for this story has been of such a high quality, my jaw is permenantly affixed to the floor. Great update! I always giggle at mentions of Lois' propensity for being kidnapped, and the two references here were no different. “I don’t know, Martha. Getting involved in our son’s love life – it seems like a bad idea to me. Could get awfully messy.”
“Not nearly as messy as burying her in the back garden,” Martha said with a grin. Now that's some classic,quotable dialogue if I've ever heard any. It's so tight and funny without being over the top. It reads naturally, and brings a grin to my face. It was far too late for her to be feeling what she was feeling: the sheer terror mingled with hurt and anger that he had taken that risk without telling her, and the cold fury at the people who took for granted that he would risk so much to save them – who took him for granted every single day. Whatever misconceptions she’d had about Superman, she had always instinctively known that he had human feelings and values, and she had always seen him as much more than just the sum of his good deeds. That was why she had kissed him that day; she had wanted him to know that there was someone on earth who cared about more than just whether he was successful in his mission – who cared about whether he returned safely. Suddenly, she didn’t regret the kiss at all. Yes! Great way of putting it. I loved that whole bit. It really demonstrates the difference between her feelings for Clark and Superman, even if she doesn't realize it. “Deflowered?” She giggled. “Did you go to high school in Victorian England?”
“I was trying not to be crass,” he said. "Respect for your delicate ears and all that." Too funny a piece of dialogue not to quote. Nice. She waved her hand dismissively. “You were nothing but raw talent, Kent. Admit it – I’m the one who made you what you are today. Though I have to give your mom some credit for costuming,” she added. “That suit is inspired.” Lois is finally past walking on eggshells! What a relief. It's nice to see her settling comfortably back into her personality after Clark's revelations rocked everything in her world out of place.And she's right....on both counts. She laughed, knowing full well that if it were light enough, she’d see a blush on his cheeks. Mostly she laughed because Clark was talking to her again, they were teasing one another, and he was holding her easily, comfortably, in his arms under a starlit sky. Somehow, in this quiet space between the heavens and the earth, a truce had been declared, and things felt as close to right as they had in a week. As her laughter died away, she dared to rest her head on his shoulder in that sweet spot she loved. She felt him tense, but he didn’t push her away, and she worked up the nerve to say the words that lay heavy on her heart: “I’ve missed you, Clark.”
He sighed and let his arms tighten around her just the tiniest bit. “I’ve missed you, too, Lois.” Wonderful use of language here; the scene you draw for us with your prose before hitting the crecendo with their admissions is absolutely beautiful. Alright,now that I've quoted half your story, I have just one last thing to say: Please,please update soon! I'm addicted.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
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Brilliant and wonderful, Caroline. The way you show us Clark's somewhat childish way of nursing his hurt over Lois's rejection of him, coupled with his panicked reaction when she is not immediately to be found, and his furious jealousy at seeing her in the arms of Adam Rainey, was just so adorable. He isn't all mature, cool and composed, that's for sure. And you also showed us Lois coming to terms with her feelings about both Clark and Superman. Her protectiveness of Superman - and Clark - when confronted with Leslie's bigotry was touching to see. And I was glad that you made her see that Clark really is such a master of deception, and that she shouldn't beat herself up too mercilessly at having been taken in by his act in a way she still probably shouldn't have. Of course, the part I - and most of the rest of us, I'll bet - liked the most was when Lois found the guts to tell Clark she had been missing him, and he managed to admit that he had been missing her, too. I'd love to go on talking about this part, but this week RL is crazy, and I have no more time. But, since you pointed out that you are not working with a beta, I thought you might appreciate being told that I think you missed a word in the following sentence: "Oh, so if was out of your way, you wouldn't bother Let me just say, by the way, that that's another thing that has me absolutely in awe of this story - that you are writing it without the help of a beta, and that absolutely all the brilliance in it, both language and content, comes straight from you. Wow. Now please re-read all the other FoLCs' comments on this chapter of yours, because I second all that they've said. Ann
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Asw this was so sweet! Great job, more soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 130 |
If I wasn't already in love with Clark, I would be after reading this story so far. Even when he is testy and upset, he's still a man I would love to love. From now on I'm going to be careful about reading this one at the office--giggling out loud typically indicates when one is not working.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Originally posted by TOC: I thought you might appreciate being told that I think you missed a word in the following sentence: "Oh, so if was out of your way, you wouldn't bother Let me just say, by the way, that that's another thing that has me absolutely in awe of this story - that you are writing it without the help of a beta, and that absolutely all the brilliance in it, both language and content, comes straight from you. Wow. Thanks so much, Ann, both for your lovely comments and for noting that missed word. I definitely do appreciate having those sorts of errors pointed out and always want to fix anything that might jerk the reader out of the story. In the case of that particular line, it was in the section I wrote right before I posted, and it didn't get the same degree of proofreading that the rest of the chapter did. It's true that I'm not using a beta on this story, and I'm relieved that you don't think that's been a problem for readers. In general, I think working with a beta is a Very Good Thing, and I may try to find someone to give this story a good once-over before preparing it for the archive. So far I haven't felt the need for a beta reader on a post-by-post basis, however, and this is probably because the story doesn't have much (or any!) plot to speak of. On more involved stories I require much hand-holding lest I plot myself right into the corner. Thank you again for your comments and continued interest in the story. I really do appreciate it! Best, Caroline
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I'm glad that things between Lois and Martha are starting to get better. And Martha is just hilarious!!!
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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If he occasionally thought back with a certain amount of satisfaction to the moment he’d smeared the orange juice-chewing gum concoction on Luthor’s raw wound, it didn’t mean that he was the kind of person who liked seeing people hurt in general. Any fool could see that Luthor was an exceptional case,  Love that line; I've used it myself in RL. his mother was perched before a colorful canvas with a paintbrush in her hand, another between her teeth, and a jaunty smear of orange on one cheek
being there reminded her that there was a whole world full of people who had nothing to do with the problems she’d left behind in Metropolis – people for whom Lex Luthor was nothing more than a name on a list in the rumpled Forbes magazine they glanced through at the dentist’s office
Ever since they’d worked their first story together, she’d staked a firm proprietary claim on Clark Kent. She had told herself that he was a greenhorn who couldn’t be trusted on his own and that keeping him on a short leash was for the good of the paper, for the good of the partnership. She’d found fault with every single woman who’d ever shown an interest in him and had neatly cut him off from any and all admirers, sure that she was doing him a favor
and dear God, that had been Clark up there, alone in the dark and the cold, and she hadn’t known, hadn’t worried nearly enough Beautiful use of words to paint vivid pictures for us! A/N: This part has given me fits in several places, but I think I've done all I can with it for now. I continue to welcome and appreciate all your comments, and I hope you're continuing to enjoy the story Looks like you've worked through all the fits admirably. Don't change anything. And yes, yes - write us some more! Soon! ~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
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"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 289 |
Awwwwww! I am just catching up, Caroline but this story is so wonderful, heartbreaking, yet funny at times and it gives your readers hope for a happy ending.  “Thanks, Mom.” He extended his hearing, seeking out Lois’s presence, and almost instantly concluded that she wasn’t in the house. “Where’s Lois?”
He was unable to keep the note of panic from his voice. If it had been anyone else, he would have assumed she was fine, that there was a logical explanation, but with Lois, absolutely anything was possible. She could have fallen down a well, been mowed over by a combine, or hitchhiked a ride with a serial killer. Suddenly, Smallville seemed like a hotbed of potential catastrophes, and how dare his parents sit so calmly in the living room when Lois was probably clinging to life by a mere thread?
“Oh, she had a date,” his mom said, frowning thoughtfully at her canvas as she added another swipe of magenta.
Clark was so busy mentally preparing for the imminent rescue that it took a moment for his mother’s words to sink in. When they did, he thought it was a joke, and not a particularly funny one. I thought this whole exchange was hilarious! Clark may try with all his might but he will certainly never be over Lois! And now that Lois has come to her senses and opened up in her feelings for Clark, there really is no reason why he should.  I am so glad they are comfortable around each other again and they are finally starting to communicate honestly with each other! Natascha
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