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This is the feedback thread for ALL of DSDragon's Theme-Based Vignettes, starting with Unexpected Visitor .
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Intersting premise. I'd like to see more. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Dude, this is NOT a vignette! It's a teaser to a long, drawn-out, angst-ridden roller coaster ride that will threaten to destroy all who dare to step aboard. There's no way you can leave it like this! Somebody make him give us the next chapter! Now you've got more than one Kryptonian (with all the same powers as Superman) in Metropolis. What if his biological parents don't want Clark to be a public hero? What if they don't want him hanging around a frail, pathetic, emotionally damaged human female? What if they really want him to be a part of New Krypton so they can live in the style to which they would like to become accustomed? And how will Jonathan and Martha react when Jor-El and Lara criticize everything they did while raising Kal-El? Will Jor-El and Lara have the same ethical standards as Clark does? (I strongly suspect not.) How will they fit into human society, assuming they want to fit in at all? What if they want to set up their own little kingdom somewhere? What if they reveal themselves as Kryptonians, refuse to act like Superman, and thereby trash Superman's reputation? Oh, this premise is fraught with possibilities. Please explore some of them. If you don't, someone may put that little evil gremlin in his or her reply post and - Uh-oh. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Yes, this is a nice story that has potential to be a long, long fic. But a series of vignettes could work too, I suppose.
Good job! Keep it up! See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Hmmm... Terry? Seems to me we've found just the right man to write this long, angsty fic. Eh, I don't know if you FoLCs know him, but his initials are TL and he lives in Oklahoma....
Ann
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*LOL* Actually, my original plan was to write only one story with this premise, but I kept coming up with so many different ideas on how to START it, and almost none on how to finish it, so I decided to at least write the beginnings of as many as I could. Eventually, I might write continuations of the ones y'all seem to like the best--or I'll let other people write them (or both). For now though, I'm sticking to the beginnings. Not all of the beginnings will be set in the same time frame either. This one was set late first-season, but I think the next one may be sometime mid-second, or even early-third season. That was another problem I had with this premise--I couldn't figure out the best place to have it set. Thanks for your great comments. I look forward to more as I write more of these "non-vignettes." By the way, Terry, I'm a girl.
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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I seem to be on a roll this weekend. Feedback for Unexpected Visitor as well as Vignette #2 -- Phone Call is greatly appreciated! Don't expect all the vignettes to come this fast though--I'm a major procrastinator.
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Ok, here we go, story number 3 (probably of 5 . . . that's how many ideas I have for this one so far). Vignette #3 -- You Learn Something New Every Day
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Pulitzer
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By the way, Terry, I'm a girl. My sincerest apologies. I shouldn't have done so, but I assumed that someone with a dragon nickname would be a testosterone-crazed bull-headed take-no-prisoners male. I stand (or sit, as the case may be) most chastened and apologetic. As far as continuing one of these beginnings, Ann, until the lady is finished suggesting all these extremely intriguing premises, it would be presumptuous of me to attempt such a task. I'll wait until the dust settles, and then maybe I'll take a whack at it. But I repeat my earlier comment that these unfinished teasers are exactly that. Each one of them could go in any number of different directions. And if both Jor-El and Lara made it, how many others on that ship survived the trip? What about other ships? How would any of these impact the New Kryptonians? I feel like Columbo. "Oh, by the way, ma'am, just one more question..."
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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These are fun! ) and asks him his name. Lois, who obviously knows by then, tries to cover for him; luckily, Star isn't the psychic equivalent of Mad Dog Lane and lets it go. :rolleyes: BTW, "Kal-El" means "Star Child" according to the pre-Crisis comics. The founder of the House of El named his family line after a star (again, can't remember all the details). Phil
Ping! Ping!! Ping!!! -- Mother Box She's such a chatterbox at times...
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My sincerest apologies. I shouldn't have done so, but I assumed that someone with a dragon nickname would be a testosterone-crazed bull-headed take-no-prisoners male. I stand (or sit, as the case may be) most chastened and apologetic. No problem, Terry. It's all good. DS is actually my initials. Y'all can just call me Darcy if you want. But I repeat my earlier comment that these unfinished teasers are exactly that. Each one of them could go in any number of different directions. Aye, that they could. I have ideas about how each of them could go too -- my only problem is, those ideas stop somewhere in the MIDDLE of the story. I have NO ENDINGS! That seems to be the way most of my stories turn out. Eventually, once I've finished writing the beginnings, I might choose one or two to flesh out and make endings of them. As far as knowledge of the name "Kal-El" goes, the only time I can remember Clark telling anyone is when Star hypnotises him (can't remember which episode! ) and asks him his name. Thanks, Tarkas! I don't need to know which episode it was. By the way, have you any relation to the Tarkas who writes HP fanfic (specifically "Hunter and Maiden") and posts at PhoenixSong.net? Just curious. BTW, "Kal-El" means "Star Child" according to the pre-Crisis comics. The founder of the House of El named his family line after a star (again, can't remember all the details). *Boggles* Wow. I didn't actually know there was an established meaning! (My parents felt that there were more important things to spend money on than comic books, and couldn't afford to pay me an allowance.) Coolness. What does "pre-Crisis" mean? Thanks again for the great comments!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Ok, it's that time again! Here's Vignette #4 -- Voices in My Head ! Let me know what you think.
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Pulitzer
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Darcy, you've done it again! This is great!
If I'm reading the timeline correctly, this contact with Lara occurs just before the New Kryptonians try to induce Clark (Lord Kal-El) to leave with them. If so, Lara's contact would throw that whole arc into the food processor and churn it into a huge mess. She'd have some influence (legal or otherwise) in deciding what her son does, and wouldn't she have some kind of royal office, too? Plus, if Jor-El was there with her, he (being the father of the prince) would really have some leverage to use.
All of these teasers are outstanding, but this one may be the best of the bunch (at least, so far). Keep your mind working and your muse churning, because this is an excellent series!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Thanks, Terry! I appreciate the feedback, and for once, I was actually thinking the exact same things you just said--about the whole New Krypton thing and leverage. I'm thinking Jor-El IS with Lara in this one . . . I just felt that since I'd had him initiate contact with Clark in the last three vignettes that it was Lara's turn.
Actually, I do think that this is one I might continue, since I could put such a specific timeline on it, and I know what it could do to the series continuity and stuff, whereas, with the others, I only had vague ideas of what would happen next if I continued them.
Anyway, I have one more vignette left to write before I make any decisions. I'm also planning on a longer fic, which I've done the planning for, but haven't started to write yet.
Thanks for the great feedback!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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All right, here we go with Vignette #5 -- Computer Whiz\'s Genius ! As always, comments welcome, appreciated, and enthusiastically replied to!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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