You killed him!!!! Poor guy! Sweet man. Idiot! He was friendly to the WRONG man's wife.
Kae, I really loved this part!! And sorry I keep jumping on board so late w/ my FDK... I just seem to have more time at the end of the week. This all is just so rich! I'll say it again: you paint such clear pictures of what is going on, but at the same time, do so much more than just showing the picture!! Like here:
To add insult to injury, the skies had decided to open up this morning and heavy rain was falling over Metropolis, making the ride to work a nightmare. She wished she was the one driving. Oliver’s calmness was getting on her nerves; like all of Lex’s personal employees, he never displayed any kind of emotion. If she was behind the wheel, she'd be honking and cursing and waving her fist at incompetent drivers. She hadn't driven a car since she got married.
The skies opening, the traffic... I can picture it so clearly. But not just that. I can picture Lois driving her own car, old Lois, who lashed out and honked her horn and yelled things at people, the kind of things that sometimes led to trouble... you've painted a picture of a non-existent Lois within this picture of who she is now and what her scenery is. I can feel her frustration, see her slowly boiling. She can't be in the backseat. She can't be driven quietly through a storm by an emotionless man. This... it's not her and I love seeing her slowly getting to her breaking point. I cannot WAIT to see it all come to a head. To the point where she just can't take it anymore! Awesome paragraph, for all you do with your words. I'm honestly in awe every time I read a segment of this
) that she doesn't want to know what Lex would be willing to negotiate for her. With her escalating need to be once more who she was before she married him, she's also just growing more and more aware that he does not love her and care for her. Probably one look into Clark's eyes in Paris showed her that. She got to see the genuine eyes of someone who loved her. So to return to Lex...
Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!
And this gave me chills...
“It’s murder...” She gripped the arms of her chair.
“The police are investigating it.”
“The police...” Breathe. Breathe.
You can see how much she did like David, but also how shaken up and scared she is, as everything comes to light.
And here, this repetition, this break down of thoughts is so *so* powerful...
She blinked. “Do I want to take part in what?”
“Flowers. For the funeral.”
Flowers. The funeral. Dave was dead.
“Oh. Oh. Sure.” Dead.
Again, she cared about Dave. And she just can't wrap her mind around it. The word funeral triggers the word dead for her... and it still doesn't seem to sink in, she has to tell herself again that he's dead. Try to process the finality of that. The meaning of it. But she can't.
This is just fantastically written! The way you put things just really drives the story home for me, stirs emotions and feelings of loneliness and discontent and frustration FOR Lois... I can feel these things for her with the way you say things. Like "married and alone." Three words. But... three brilliant words that get to the heart of her situation, especially after what's just happened! I'm amazed , and this... this is all just so great.
Okay, I *am* winding down, but just two more things.
I love her musings about Dave's life, as she sits to write his tribute. Running down facts of his life, what he'd done, that he was once married, but wanting to do more. It's just beautiful, seeing how torn up she is over this, how much she cares...
She’d been impressed by his professionalism. In many ways, he’d reminded her of Perry. A younger, less experienced, less self-confident Perry.
Murdered. Dave was one of those people who, as a reporter, had investigated international crime organisations, uncovered drug rings and sent child-killers to prison. And he had died because of a petty thug’s frightened shot. How ironic was that?
Once again, the one word sentence that shows her reminding herself what happened. He was murdered. And I love her description of him being like Perry, but less confident... it's all just so heartbreaking. Your words show how she sees him as a kind of hero (like Clark and even herself - a hero in everyday clothes that gets no attention for what they do every day) , but also just a real person with flaws and insecurities. You can just see how much more angry she's growing now that the truth is *really* sinking in, she knows he's dead and...
She’d work day and night until he was behind bars and couldn’t get out of jail until he turned to dust.
Can't wait for Sunday!!!!!!!!
~Nicole
I'll be back tomorrow with more.
