Table of Contents From Part 7: "I admire your ambition, Aaron. Yes, I think that would be nice. We can discuss your ideas and also begin our planning to put phase two into effect."
Aaron smiled cordially at the Leader following him back onto the elevator, even as he plotted his next step.
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PART 8: **********
Laura yawned sleepily in Clark’s arms. It was still a little early for her bedtime, but her Grandma Ellen had worn her out tonight. Clark was glad Ellen had been able to babysit since his parents were away on one of their trips. He and Lois didn’t trust just anyone to watch Laura, especially in light of what was going on with the kidnappings right now.
It had been good for Lois to go out to dinner with Jimmy and Penny. It was a welcome distraction from the bad news they’d gotten that afternoon. Thoughts of the dinner brought a smile to his face. He looked down into Laura’s sleepy eyes.
"You’re going to be a flower girl, sweetheart. The prettiest one anyone’s ever seen."
Laura cooed at him and smiled at the sound of her daddy’s voice.
"Yes, you are. Your uncle Jimmy wants you to be in his wedding and daddy, too." *Uncle* Jimmy? Well, why not? Laura had a lot of extended family, especially at the Planet.
Clark looked down into his baby’s eyes and watched them close one last time as she lost the battle with sleep. He turned his head toward his bedroom and *looked* in on Lois. She was just getting out of the bathtub. He had suggested that she take a hot, relaxing bath and let him take care of putting Laura to bed.
He let his vision linger on his wife’s form for a few more seconds before deciding, with a sudden urgency, that it was time to put Laura in her crib.
"Daddy’s going to go check on mommy now," he whispered to his sleeping daughter.
After putting Laura down in her crib, Clark quietly moved down the hallway and into their bedroom. Walking up to the bathroom door he quietly peeked around the corner. He was slightly confused by the sight that met his eyes.
Lois stood in front of the bathroom mirror with one hand spread across her left breast, covering it and smashing it flat against her chest. She was standing there staring at herself in the mirror, turning from side to side with a frown on her face. She seemed oblivious to Clark’s presence.
"Honey, what are you doing?" he asked her.
Lois jumped, startled, like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Oh, nothing," she hastily replied. Clark raised his eyebrows questioningly at her.
A look of what seemed to be embarrassment came over her face. She looked away from him briefly, grabbing her nightshirt and putting it on. "I was just curious I guess," she said.
"Curious about what?" he asked her, hoping that it wasn’t what he thought it was.
There was a long pause. "About what I might look like if I had to have my breast removed," she admitted, her voice barely audible.
It was. Clark felt a pain deep in his chest. He went to her and wrapped her in a warm embrace. He started to squeeze her to him but thought better of it. He didn’t want to hurt her. "Sweetheart, you know that even *if* you had to have it removed they’ll do reconstructive surgery. They’ve perfected it to the point that you can’t even tell the difference."
"Yeah, except for nursing. What if things are bad enough that they have to take the whole breast? If that happened, then when we had another baby, I wouldn’t be able to nurse at least not on that side," she explained, her voice unsteady.
Clark noticed that she had said *when* they had another baby and not *if*. He closed his eyes holding her tighter. God he loved her for her strength. Not knowing what he should say, he simply held her lightly caressing her back.
"It’s not just that, though," she continued. "Even if I looked the same after, I know I’d never forget the part of me that I’d lost. I wouldn’t *be* exactly the same, would I?" she asked, and continued, her voice almost a whisper. "I wouldn’t be the same to you, either."
Clark felt shaken and a little hurt as the realization of what she was saying hit him. Did she honestly think that mattered to him? He pushed her back from him, looking deep into her concerned brown eyes.
"Honey, how could you even say that?" he asked her, hearing his own voice choke. "I don’t want you to ever think like that again."
He reached a hand up to her face cradling it, his thumb softly caressing her cheek. "Lois, you should know how much I love you, and I’m not talking about your body...I mean *you*. Your heart, your passion, and that fire in your eyes. Yes, I love your body. You have an incredible body. You have no idea how much I enjoy being able to explore it when we make love. But it isn’t what embodies you. When we make love, I’m making love to *you*. To the only person I’ve ever truly loved and will ever love, and nothing will change that."
"Oh, Clark." She buried her head against his chest, crying softly. "I know it was silly of me to think that way, but I noticed the last few times you embraced me that you held back, and I was afraid somehow that if I lost that part of myself that you...that I..."
"Shhh," Clark whispered to her. "It’s okay. Honey, nothing will ever change how I feel about you. The only reason I’ve been hesitant to embrace you is because I was afraid of hurting you."
Clark took her by the hand and led her over to the bed. He sat down and waited for her to join him. "I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves anyway," he told her. "We haven’t even heard what Dr. McGrath is going to suggest yet."
"I know."
"And I’ve also been doing some research..." he began.
"We just found out this afternoon. When have you had time to do research?" she asked him, interrupting.
Clark smiled at her. "Are you forgetting that I speed read?"
Her eyes sparkled as she smiled back at him. Oh, how he loved that smile. He hoped it didn’t ever fade.
"Anyway," he continued, "there are a lot of interesting new kinds of treatments out there for cancer besides radiation or surgery. We could look into some of those if you want. But the first thing I would really like you to do is get a second opinion."
"Clark..."
"No, now hear me out. I know how much you trust your doctor, but mistakes can happen. Results can turn out wrong. It can’t hurt to get a second opinion before you decide how you want to proceed."
Lois nodded her head at him. He could tell by the look on her face that she understood. He needed to be certain, and she did too.
"We could even probably get Dr. Klein to take a look at you," he suggested.
"No, Clark. I’m sure that’s not his field of expertise. I’ll do some research and find a good OBGYN."
"Okay," he said, admitting defeat for the moment. It might not be Dr. Klein’s field of expertise, but he trusted the man implicitly. He had worked miracles for them before.
Clark stood up from the edge of the bed picking Lois up into his arms. He floated them both gently to the middle of the bed, laying her down onto a pillow. Still floating there just slightly above her, he began to undo the buttons on her nightshirt. With each button he unfastened, he tenderly caressed the soft flesh that was exposed to him. He was rewarded with a delicate trembling from Lois’ body and the occasional arching of her back. As he released the last of the buttons exposing the full beauty of her body, he brushed a kiss across her stomach.
She reached for him, pulling against him, pleading for him to come to her. He granted her request, lowering himself down on her, leaning into her body. She groaned with pleasure. He smiled with satisfaction at his ability to please her. He would prove to her tonight, show her as many times as she needed him to, just how much he loved her.
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No! This couldn’t be happening. Clark had gotten up in the middle of the night. He hadn’t slept well thinking about Lois, so he’d gone in to check on Laura. But she hadn’t been there. She was gone.
He flew through the house, desperately scanning every room, closet, nook and cranny. He knew it was a futile gesture but part of him wanted to believe that she had just found a way out of her crib and crawled off somewhere.
He flew back into their bedroom towards the open window, pausing momentarily to look at his sleeping wife. He hadn’t woken her yet. He hadn’t wanted to panic her before he knew for sure. He shot out through the open window up into the night sky scanning the area below, looking through houses, cars, and into alleyways.
No. No, it just couldn’t have happened. All of his powers, all of the abilities he had, and they had failed him. He hadn’t awoken in time to save her, and he couldn’t find her now.
He pushed his hearing to its limit, and beyond, but was met with silence. No screams or cries from his baby daughter.
But then, his hearing picked up another cry.
"Laura...! Clark!" He didn’t need his super powers to hear Lois’ desperate cry. He flew back through the bedroom window of their brownstone to see Lois standing there in her nightshirt, clutching Laura’s baby blanket to her chest.
"Where is she? Did someone take her?" she asked him, desperation in her voice.
Clark’s breath caught in his throat. His voice was paralyzed, and in that moment he could tell she knew the answers. Her eyes filled with tears as she held a hand up over her mouth, and her body began trembling with sobs. He walked over to her to take her in his arms, to tell her he would find Laura. That everything would be all right. To tell her all the things she needed to hear but that he wasn’t feeling himself.
But he was met by an outstretched arm and a hand held up to stop him.
"No, not this time, Clark," she told him, pushing him away. "You weren’t able to help those other children, you couldn’t help Laura when she needed you the most, and you can’t help me. Not now," she whispered, turning her back to him and walking out of the room.
Clark couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was pushing him away just like everyone else had when he had tried to help. Not Lois, please, not her too. He needed her right now more than he ever had. He needed her to tell him that this wasn’t his fault; that they would get through this together like they did with everything.
"Lois, please," he called to her. She paused but didn’t look back as she walked out of the room. Clark leaned against a wall for support as the full brunt of what she’d said hit him. She couldn’t have meant it. She was just upset. It wasn’t true...no, but it was. He had failed. His daughter was gone.
Gone. The thought lingered in his mind as his heart swallowed it whole, digesting it, tasting every aspect of the emotion. Clark couldn’t breathe. He slid down the wall coming to rest on the floor. Tears began streaming down his face. He couldn’t live without Laura or without Lois’ love and support. She was his strength. He couldn’t face the things that were happening without her. He looked back down the hallway after her.
"Lois, please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. Please. Let me help," he pleaded, but there was no response.
"Lois!" Clark cried as he jerked upright in bed, breathing heavily. He looked around, his eyes finding the beautiful, sleeping face of his wife lying next to him.
"Clark, what is it?" she mumbled drowsily in her sleep.
He sighed deeply, getting his breathing under control. "Nothing sweetheart. Go back to sleep. Everything’s all right," he said soothingly. He bent over her and brushed her forehead with a light kiss.
It had been a dream, only a dream.
But there was a strange, aching hollowness that filled him, a residual effect of the nightmare. Was Laura really okay? He *looked* in on her and found her sleeping peacefully in her crib. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at Lois again, watching the slow rise and fall of her breasts under her nightshirt. He reached out brushing a few hairs out of her eyes wishing now that she were awake so he could take her in his arms and hold her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and would never let anything happen to her or Laura. But could he promise her that?
Clark sighed, running a hand through his hair. He could tell he wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep, so he decided to get up and go take a peek at his sleeping daughter. He pulled back a sweat-dampened sheet and quietly got out of bed trying not to disturb Lois further. He floated silently down the hallway and into Laura’s bedroom.
He looked down on the face of his sleeping daughter. She was so beautiful, so precious. He couldn’t imagine what he would do if...no, he didn’t even want to think about it. It wouldn’t happen because he wouldn’t let it happen.
He walked over to the rocking chair in her room and sat down in it watching his daughter as she slept. It wouldn’t happen because he would stay awake all night watching her if he had to. They would not take Laura from him, not if he had any breath left in his body.
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To be continued...
