“What were you thinking?” Lex stared out over the expanse of empty ocean and wondered what he’d done to deserve all this. He should have been more grateful. The last thing he’d remembered had been falling through space after jumping off a building to avoid the police and an ill advised marriage to a nosy reporter.
The other Lex shook his head sadly. “All I wanted was a little land.”
His expression was almost chummy, but Lex knew better than to trust him. The other Lex had stabbed a third Lex to death after an argument over the virtues of trying to destroy the east coast or the west coast. The other man had been an overweight buffoon, but still. This Lex was subject to rages and was vicious and unstable.
He didn’t seem to have an appreciation for the better things in life. He would have been happy to have left the bloated corpse laying on the beach, spoiling the view. Lex had been forced to enlist the aid of the third Lex to help him drag it over a hill.
The third Lex, a Mediterranean man with swarthy skin and a well tailored Armani suit would have been tolerable except for his arrogance and refusal to see that Lex was the only real Lex Luthor in the group.
“You should have made a few investments first.” Lex said cautiously. “You were planning to collapse the world economy, and you didn’t stop to think that nobody would have any money to buy huge expanses of infertile rock without any source of fresh water?”
He was careful to keep himself more than arms length distant from the other Lex. The picked bones of a human and small dog made him wonder if the other man saw them as more lunch than comrade in arms.
“You shut up!” The other Lex scrambled to hit feet and pulled out a small shard of crystal.
“Both of you shut up!” The final Lex snarled at both of them, and they both immediately settled down. He was even more bald than the other Lexes, and since he’d made a laser pistol out of three coconuts and a pair of eyeglasses, they’d given him a wide berth.
He was their best chance of getting off the island anyway. He was trying to build an interdimensional portal generator out of a small sliver of kryptonite, three watches, a cell phone and a banana peel, and things weren’t going well.
The silence didn’t last long.
“You’re the one who got all googly eyed over the reporter. What were YOU thinking? If she‘s anything like mine, she was always sniffing around the alien.”
Lex grimaced. It didn’t look like his day was going to get better anytime soon.
He was starting to hate himself.
