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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
Very creative. Kind of a combination of the Alt-World and Smallville.....
Can't wait to see where you're going with this. As usual, Lana has Clark wrapped around her finger (or so she thinks!)
What's your posting schedule?
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Hi Chaabreh! Glad you're enjoying it and thanks for the feedback.
When I post a story, I normally try to get a new part out there at least every couple of days, but it also depends on my beta and her schedule.
I'll post part 2 either tomorrow night or first thing Wednesday morning, depending on how things go.
Thanks!
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
Great Start! Now I know why I cringe everytime I see the name Lana.  “Do you think she’s really the *one*?” Dad asks me. Gotta love Jonathan! Can't wait to see what(or who  )is waiting for Clark in Metropolis. Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
This is a very intriguing beginning. Looking forward to seeing where it goes!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.  “That is interesting. Is anyone following up on the story?”
“From what I hear, the reporters at the Daily Planet are looking into his allegation, but I think I’m going to see what I can dig up, too.  How is that Chad knows what happen at the Planet?  “Do you think she’s really the *one*?” Dad asks me.
His question catches me off guard. “I love her,” I say simply. “How do you ever know that someone is ‘the one’?”
“Trust me, you just know. This is one of the most important decisions of your life. Your mother and I both like Lana, and we want the best for you. But she already expects so much of you. I know you love her because of how much you’ve given up for her. I mean, she’s the reason you didn’t move to Metropolis. They know Lana is not for Clark! MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Ooh, I'll be keeping an eye on this to see where things go! I've only spent five seconds with Lana, and I'm ready to pencil in demanding and prickly. Let him have his pickle sandwich!! :p
Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
Great story! I don't know why, but when I read your story, I couldn't help but think Lana suddenly looked like Mayson Drake. 
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Oooh! Look at all the pretty fdk. Thanks everyone! jackiek - can't wait to see who's waiting for him in Metropolis? Why whatever are you talking about? MrsMosley - Thanks for the fdk! Glad you found it intriguing. Maria!!! Yeah!!! I hadn't heard from you on my last story and wondered if I'd lost you as a reader. Glad to see you're enjoying it! Yes, don't we all know Lana isn't for Clark. Tee hee. Shadow - Thanks. Yeah, let poor Clark alone to eat what he wants... although she of course doesn't realize that he doesn't have to worry about things like Cholestoral. Hee hee. Classicalla - Glad you like it. It couldn't be because none of us ever want to see him end up with anyone but Lois, could it? Hee hee. Thank you everyone! I'll have part 2 up sometime tonight.
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
“Clark, remind me again why you decided not to move up here to Metropolis?” Chad asks me, getting in a little dig.
I sigh, tired of rehashing the same old, tired argument. I reposition the phone, propping it between my ear and my shoulder, so I can free up my hands to make myself a sandwich.
“Chad, do we really need to go through this again? You know if Lana had any way to transfer to Metropolis that we would move. She was really fortunate to get that internship in the Mayor’s office. We can’t exactly move the Mayor of Smallville up to Metropolis just so I can work for a big city paper.” Hmmm, very interesting! We learn a couple of things right away: This story is told in the first person, from Clark's POV. The story takes place at a time when Clark really ought to have moved to Metropolis, but he hasn't done that, because he's involved with Lana. And she wants to stay in Smallville and take care of her (political?) career, so he will stay too, for her sake. I take out two slices of bread and hesitate. Nah, why not make it three slices? And a couple of extra slices of cheese while I’m at it. Where did I put those pickles? Lana’s working late tonight, so she won’t be dropping by unexpectedly to catch me eating this triple-decker monstrosity. Better enjoy it while I have the chance. A-haaa!!! Mister I-never-gain-an-ounce likes to pig out, and he is going to do it now that Lana isn't watching. What kind of relationship do they have anyway? I take out two slices of bread and hesitate. Nah, why not make it three slices? And a couple of extra slices of cheese while I’m at it. Where did I put those pickles? Lana’s working late tonight, so she won’t be dropping by unexpectedly to catch me eating this triple-decker monstrosity. Better enjoy it while I have the chance. And Chad is his buddy. And they had plans. They were going to make it, big time, in Metropolis. But something happened. Lana? “You got it. So how’s life treating you as editor of your own paper? Mr. Bigshot?”
“Not bad. It’s not a big-town paper, but the Smallville Post is beginning to feel like home. I have a couple of reporters working for me that are still ‘wet behind the ears’, but they’re learning pretty fast. I’m actually beginning to enjoy working as an editor So instead of being a reporter at the Daily Planet, Clark is the editor of the Smallville Post. For Lana's sake. Ah, but he doesn't do everything for Lana: I ask, preoccupied with spreading a thick layer of mayonnaise on each slice of bread. I ask, finding the bacon in my fridge and giving a few slices a quick *zap*. Didn’t I have a tomato somewhere? I poke around in the fridge a little further. Ah, there it is, hiding behind the lettuce. Careful, Clark - those are greens, could be a few vitamins in those... so, better safe than too healthy: Ah, just a few more slices of pastrami and that should do it. Now to toast the bread just a little... Ready... set... I set the phone down on the counter and look down at the colossal sandwich sitting before me, my mouth begins to water. I lift it up to my lips to take the first tantalizing bite and there’s a knock at my door. Ugh.... I sigh, putting my sandwich back down on the plate, and I lower my glasses to have a look. Nooo!!! Ah, but you are not ruining my snack, girlfriend.... Oh, no you don’t. You aren’t going to interrupt my eating pleasure tonight, and I’m not going to pay for eating it in front of you by listening to you lecture me about my cholesterol for the next two hours. Like I even need to worry about that. Sooo...GOOOO!!!!!!! I pick up the sandwich and inhale it in a matter of seconds, enjoying every last morsel. Where's "inhaling sandwich" emoticon? So, did Clark enjoy doing that? What do you think, Lana? Running up to the door, I open it just in time to let out a small burp in satisfaction.  “Nice to see you, too, honey,” she says, giving me a small peck on the cheek. Hmmm... forgive me, Lana, but I didn't notice that he said it was nice to see you.... And maybe it wasn't altogether nice: “Have you been eating something bad for you again?” she asks me, giving me that *look*. Nag, nag, nag. Nice way to start a relationship. So, Clark, how many years had you planned to be married to her? By the way, did you eat something bad for you? You're probably right - as long as you don't eat Kryptonite, nothing is bad for you, is it? “Liar. I can smell the pickles and bacon from here. Oh, and there’s *this*,” she says, wiping a small spot of mayonnaise off my chin. So why does Lana think that bacon and mayonnaise are bad for you? Don't tell me - you haven't told her? “It was just a light snack. So, what are you doing here? I thought you had to work late tonight?”
“I did, but the Mayor got a touch of food poisoning from the chili-cheese fries he ate at dinner. That kind of threw a wrench in things.”
Chili-cheese fries? The Mayor? Actually, I can’t remember the last time I had some of those. They sounded pretty good. Hah! I love how he loves his food!  Anyway. Clark spends the evening with Lana, bla bla bla, and then we see him at work as an editor. That was interesting. He reminded me of Perry, firm but kindly, restraining but encouraging his inexperienced but eager and earnest young reporters. Then Chad calls from Metropolis: “Clark? It’s Chad. Have you heard the news?”
“No. What news?”
“Apparently some lunatic came running into the Daily Planet building this morning ranting that the space program is doomed. He said that the Messenger is going to blow up and that Space Station Prometheus has been sabotaged.” Oh-oh! Clark, you are late! You should have been in Metropolis by now, getting ready to save the Prometheus. Chad doesn't seem to know that Clark is superhuman so that he could singlehandedly save the space station. Instead he suggests that Clark should do a little reporting for a change: Just because you’re an editor now, doesn’t mean you can’t lower yourself back down to our level and do a little writing. Might give your readers something exciting to read about for a change.” And Clark's reply - oh, boy: “Hey! You don’t think the upcoming annual Smallville Corn Festival is exciting enough? We don’t want to give our readers a heart attack,” I tell him sarcastically. “We do have real news you know.”
“I know, I know. Things that are important to a small town paper, to small town folk. Reminds me of a few newspapers here in Sweden - one where my brother lives, for example - where you can read in the local paper of last night's meeting of the embroidery club.... Ummm, sorry, something came up. Be back with more later! Ann
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
You're probably right - as long as you don't eat Kryptonite, nothing is bad for you, is it? No kidding. Wish I could say the same, don't you? Mmmm, chocolate with none of the guilt. Anyway. Clark spends the evening with Lana, bla bla bla, Hah! Why don't you tell me how you really feel about Lana? Hee hee, kidding. Reminds me of a few newspaper here in Sweden - one where my brother lives, for example - where you can read in the local paper of last night's meeting of the embroidery club....  Ahem, okay, I'm better now. Thanks for the fdk Ann! It was delicious and totally calorie free, even if it did taste fattening.
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Okay, I'm just back with a little more FDK! I think I was about here: “Oh, Martha, lunch was wonderful as always,” Lana says, getting up from the table. “And Jonathan, your barbeque was a little spicy for me, but delicious nonetheless. Don't you love it when your future in-law tells you that she didn't really like your food, but she loved it anyway? Unfortunately my beeper’s going off and that means I’ve got to head back to the Mayor’s office,” she continues, giving each of my parents a hug and then turning to face me. And don't you love it, too, when she informs you that she has to leave so that she can meet people who are a lot more important than you are? “Clark, don’t be too late putting that paper to bed. I’m looking forward to a nice quiet pasta dinner at your place tonight.” And surely it's nice when she tells your son how to do his job? And then she expects him to cook her dinner after he's done with his probably not-at-all stressful editorial chores. I mean, that job has to be a piece of cake, compared with being an intern at the Mayor's office! Okay, Lana leaves. Thank goodness! And Clark tells his parents about Chad's information about the sabotage of the space station and of the Messenger. Clark realizes he should do something about the situation - why not go to the place from which the Messenger is going to be launched and make sure that nothing bad happens? Ah, but you know what Jonathan thinks about such a suggestion, don't you? “You can’t do that. You know what would happen if you got caught?” Dad asks me.
“Don’t say it, Dad. I’ve got the speech memorized. They’d take me away, lock me up, do experiments on me; I’d never have a life. Does that about sum it up?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he says, smiling at me. I love Jonathan's smile. It proves that his nagging Clark about not using his powers stems from real love. But you can listen to your parents for only so long.... “But what good are these powers I have if I don’t use them to help when I can?” “You do, honey,” Mom says, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “You help out all the time in Smallville, with little things that no one will notice. If you go snooping around the space program and interfere, someone’s sure to notice.” Yeah, I'm sure Clark helps little kitties down from trees and helps little old ladies cross the dangerous streets of Smallville. Nothing wrong with that, Martha, but surely....! But Clark is a good boy who listens to his Mama: I sigh. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll have to think about it some more. Surely I can come up with some way to help,” I pause to inhale another home-baked cookie. I love it that he's inhaling food again! (Sort of reminds me of my aunt's "office dog" - don't ask - who loved liver paté and liquorice, and once when it was the dog's birthday he got a liver paté cake decorated with liquorice. My aunt used to love telling me how the dog "inhaled" it! Or, at least, managed to swallow it all in two seconds flat....) Anyway, Martha invites Clark and Lana to the Kent farm for a Friday morning breakfast: “Oh, Clark, if the two of you think your offices can get by without you for a little while, why don’t you and Lana come over Friday morning for breakfast? We can all watch the live broadcast of the Messenger’s lift off together,” Mom says, her voice sounding hopeful. So, uh, do you think Lana managed to come over? “Lana was sorry she couldn’t come for breakfast this morning, just too much going on today. :rolleyes: Well, at least Clark made it. He's looking forward to buttermilk pancakes and the launch of the Messenger: I, however, wouldn’t miss your buttermilk pancakes for anything. Isn’t it about time for the launch?” I ask. And guess what happens? The countdown had started: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, ignition... Fire! The Messenger is on fire! Anyone surprised? “Oh, Clark!” Mom exclaims, as we sit in stunned silence watching the Messenger engulfed in flames. I like Martha's shock. Well, Martha, you'd better come to terms with the fact that your boy can't just stay at home and run errands around Smallville. I slam my fist down on the table next to me, causing the table leg to shatter. The table wobbles unsteadily on its remaining three legs.
I curse under my breath. I know better than to let my emotions get the better of me. “I’m sorry. I’ll get that fixed for you.” And I really like it that Clark feels that he should have been there to save the Messenger. So now he makes a decision: My parents just stare at me in silence. They don’t have any words of wisdom to offer this time. I know what I have to do now. I have to go up there to Metropolis and take a look around. I might be able to see something that someone else would miss. This was too important to not help. Besides, while I’m up there, I can pay a visit to Chad. There is a small problem about leaving for Metropolis, however: “Now, how to tell Lana, that’s going to be the tricky part. If I take the time to tell her what’s going on, she’ll just try to talk me out of going. In her eyes, I’ll just be a foolhardy newspaper editor going up to poke his nose in where it doesn’t belong.” And... eh, isn't there something you've forgotten to tell Lana, Clark? “She might think differently if you told her about you,” Mom reminds me.
A small spot of guilt tugs at me. I haven’t told Lana yet. I keep coming up with all the same reasons not to tell her, none of them really good ones. I’m basically just afraid to tell her, when it gets right down to it. I’m afraid it will scare her; I’m afraid of rejection. But it’s not fair to her - I know it’s not. Hmmmm. This sounds so familiar. It sounds much too familiar. Lois, there is something I need to tell you... I... I... I need to return a book to the library, OK? But the fact that Clark lies to Lana in the same way that he's going to lie to Lois doesn't necessarily mean that he feels about Lana the same way that he is later going to feel about Lois: “Do you think she’s really the *one*?” Dad asks me.
His question catches me off guard. “I love her,” I say simply. “How do you ever know that someone is ‘the one’?” Well, Clark. With Lois, you'll just *know*. It's as simple as that. “Trust me, you just know. This is one of the most important decisions of your life. Your mother and I both like Lana, and we want the best for you. But she already expects so much of you. I know you love her because of how much you’ve given up for her. I mean, she’s the reason you didn’t move to Metropolis. But just make sure she’s the one for you, Son, your circumstances are so special - it’s going to take a special woman.” Gotta love Jonathan here! Please note the declaration of his love for Martha that he made here in an adorably roundabout way. “I know, Dad. I know. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve waited this long to tell her.” I pause, remembering that we’re supposed to have dinner at my apartment tonight. She isn’t going to be happy. And Clark, the coward - because sometimes he is a coward - decides to tell Lana about his visit to Metropolis only after he has already arrived there, so that she can't talk him out of going there!!! So what's going to happen in Metropolis? Is Clark going to visit the Daily Planet to learn more about the man who came there to warn the reporters there about the impending sabotage of the Messenger? And if Clark goes to the Daily Planet, is he going to talk to Perry? Will Perry offer him a job? And, above all, is Clark going to meet Lois? I'm very much looking forward to the rest of this, DJ! Ann
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Oh Ann! Thank you for that... Yeah, I'm sure Clark helps little kitties down from trees and helps little old ladies cross the dangerous streets of Smallville. Nothing wrong with that, Martha, but surely....! That line cracked me up. I'm getting ready to post part 2 shortly. Thanks!
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41 |
Against my better judgment, I started opening fanfic threads and reading the first few lines or so... and this one caught me.  I keep telling people that I'm not a fan - at all - of stories written from the first person point of view, but I've been chancing it more and more lately, only to find that I'm enjoying them because they're well-written. Anyway, that's why I'm here. I'll do my best to actually give my usual type of feedback, but classes just started. Lana’s working late tonight, so she won’t be dropping by unexpectedly to catch me eating this triple-decker monstrosity. Better enjoy it while I have the chance. Looking more like alt Clark... *g* “Well, next time I make it up your way, I expect a detailed tour of the Star’s newsroom.” Didn’t I have a tomato somewhere? I poke around in the fridge a little further. Ah, there it is, hiding behind the lettuce. LOL! I love this making a sandwich monologue. “You got it. So how’s life treating you as editor of your own paper? Mr. Bigshot?” YAY! At least he's editor. “What? Are you kidding? What fast-paced work are you remembering? This is Smallville we’re talking about... Not New York City.” ROTFL! It’s Lana! Oh, no you don’t. You aren’t going to interrupt my eating pleasure tonight, and I’m not going to pay for eating it in front of you by listening to you lecture me about my cholesterol for the next two hours. Like I even need to worry about that. I pick up the sandwich and inhale it in a matter of seconds, enjoying every last morsel. LOL and awww! And yay... looks as if they're not married. Running up to the door, I open it just in time to let out a small burp in satisfaction. LOL! “Mmm. What did you have in mind, Mr. Kent?”
“Well future Mrs. Kent, BOO! “Hey! You don’t think the upcoming annual Smallville Corn Festival is exciting enough? We don’t want to give our readers a heart attack,” I tell him sarcastically. “We do have real news you know.” LOL Awww I slam my fist down on the table next to me, causing the table leg to shatter. The table wobbles unsteadily on its remaining three legs. Awwww  Who would benefit from the failure of the space station? The failure of the space program itself?” *coughlexluthorcough* This was too important to not help. Besides, while I’m up there, I can pay a visit to Chad. Oh? Does Chad know the secret, I wonder? “She might think differently if you told her about you,” Mom reminds me. Yay! Is it bad that I'm relieved she doesn't know? *G* His question catches me off guard. “I love her,” I say simply. “How do you ever know that someone is ‘the one’?” Oooh! I know! And Lana is *definitely* not the one! ;P Well, it seems there's no alt Clark after all, but I'm still intrigued nonetheless! Off to read part two now (instead of Robinson Crusoe *innocent whistle*) Sara 
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Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Sara? Wow! I can't believe I was able to lure you in with this story. I keep telling people that I'm not a fan - at all - of stories written from the first person point of view, but I've been chancing it more and more lately, only to find that I'm enjoying them because they're well-written. Whew! Hope I can live up to your expectations. I think this is about the third 1st person pov story I've written. I blame my beta reader for turning me on to 1st person. I too was like you, I never read 1st person (didn't think I liked it), until I started beta reading also for my BR. She wrote quite frequently in 1st person. And it was soooo good. So I decided I'd give it a shot. Everyone was so receptive to it that I decided to try it again (but both times were as Lois so I finally decided to give Clark a shot). Glad you took a chance and are reading! Thanks for the all the wonderful fdk. It was a very pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning.
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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